me when im on "x reader tag" looking for fics at 3 am BUT all i find is memes and all the funny posts under the world EXCEPT the fics abt the character :
when the fic has 10k+ words, fluff, angst, smut right at the end, friends to lovers, character who’s down bad for reader, AND Y/N DOESNT ACT LIKE A CHILD
Author's Note: This is for both a request I received HERE, and a few mentions from people asking me to write Billy back in California, but also for me, because I missed a softer Billy in my writing... This isn't before Hawkins, it's soon after his 18th birthday and sticks to a canon timeline (I got carried away... this is long)
Summery: Billy is back in California for Susan's brother's funeral, someone he never even met, but while he's here no one can stop him from visiting the one girl who he hasn't stopped thinking about since he moved away from the only place he'll ever call home
Warnings: 18+ only!! MINORS DNI, Smut and fluff, softer Billy, but still Billy... California Billy (because when he gets there his shoulders soften, and he feels like himself again... yeah he's still a dick, but not so angry, a little softer, less rough around the edges, Billy in love, kissing, language, oral (f and m receiving), p in v, mentions of death,
My Masterlist in case you need more Billy
Divider by @cafekitsune
For Billy, landing back in Cali was like taking a deep, almost desperate breath, after being held down under water for months. The moment his feet touched the dusty, sun baked ground, and he felt that familiar warm Pacific breeze touching his skin, the tension in his shoulders began to soften and if anyone was around to see it, you could probably pin point the exact moment it happened.
Something cleaner in the air. Didn't harbor that off putting combo of cow shit and tractor dust and all that shitty midwestern rain that made you feel raw and dirty all the time. Here it smelled like the sea and freedom. Full of blue skies and familiar places.
God he missed it and being back only intensified the feeling.
Beneath the relief though, was this simmering restlessness, a kind of anxiety. He'd been secretly counting down the minutes since they got here. The funeral. The family bullshit. Just here in California for a quick weekend, not because Neil wanted to be. In fact he complained the entire time. Susan's brother died and there was a funeral to attend, but Neil made it clear they weren't staying, and she was lucky he was letting her go at all.
Billy couldn't give two shits about some guy he never met. He was here for other reasons.
Truth was the thought of you had been this constant low frequency hum in the back of his mind since he turned his back and drove off that early autumn day.
On the drive back, every girl with your hair color that blew past his rolled down window made his adrenaline spike, until he realized the color wasn't exactly right, the face not quite you. The way your eyes sparkled like California sunshine, he'd know them in an instant.
He'd spent the last few nights barely sleeping at all, his mind racing with memories of you. The way you looked at the beach, pretty hair blowing soft around your smiling face, the sun highlighting your skin, your laugh and the way it gave him that familiar ache inside his chest. You, the only girl who could ever dare tell him to shut the fuck up and him actually listening, well for the most part, even if he just did it so you'd kiss him.
He'd been planning his sneak away for a while. Knew Neil would never let him go off on his own once they got here, so he had to just do it, damn the consequences. He would deal with Neil later. The questions. The brutality that would follow. Doesn't linger on those thoughts right now, more important things on his mind than his asshole father. Who was never really a father at all.
There was a burning inside him, this need, a frantic, hungry energy in his veins to take back the only part of his life that didn't feel like a constant battle. His life here, in California, before Hawkins, before leaving everything he ever loved behind for some horse shit town that didn't know him at all.
Wasn't just coming to visit an old girlfriend, he was coming to find himself again. To sink back into the warmth of the only person who made him feel like he could just be.
You.
The Camaro even seemed happier here. She purred softer, ran smoother, it was like she remembered too. Away from where she always coughed and choked, had a hard time getting started in the bitter winter of Indiana.
So glad Neil let him drive here himself, leading the way. Neil's truck, fortunately for Billy but unfortunately for Max, had only room for three. Billy needed to be alone with his thoughts and he was secretly glad Susan didn't insist that he take Max in the Camaro.
Drives along the familiar streets on the way to your house. Knows them like the back of his hand. Been there a hundred times, both in real life and in his dreams. Nothing's changed since he left and yeah, okay, it's only been about seven months since then, but Billy knew that things had a way of changing in a heartbeat, and not always for the best.
Pulls up outside your house. Looks exactly the same as he remembered. The street quiet, but not Hawkins quiet, a prettier kind of peacefulness... like nostalgia wrapped in this blue sea of long forgotten hazy memories, suddenly coming to life, and it makes him smile.
Gives the engine a little rev, just because it's something he used to do when he drove up to your house to pick you up, of course, this time you're not expecting him.
Cuts the engine. Just sits a minute wondering if he should have a smoke first, but instead he reaches for a stick of gum, then even decides against that. Bites his nails instead.
Sighs soft, head falling back against the headrest for a beat, to gather the courage to go to your door and say... say what exactly... hi... it's been a while... you remember me, right?
Before the move, your relationship was this beautiful, chaotic whirlwind of lust and deeply intense sex, arguing then making up. Billy, always the golden boy no matter where he lived, the surfer kid with that dangerous smile. Late night drives along the Pacific Coast Highway, windows down, salty air blowing through your hair, the radio loud, Camaro fast. Those nights you two would sit on the roof of that old abandoned building downtown, get high and look at the stars, talk about dreams and the future. He taught you how to catch your first wave. You taught him how to be faithful to just one girl, something he hasn't done since. You, a beach bum, just like him. There was this intensity in the way you looked at him, that he loved but could never put into words that feeling it gave him. When he drove off that bright blue day, it was like the sun had been ripped from his sky. The weather in Indiana reflecting his feelings, when he stepped out of his Camaro and into that hick town without a friend in the world.
"Get the fuck up, asshole."
Mumbles against the fingers pushed against his teeth, spitting a nail out the open window. Gets up and out of the car, all slow and lazy, so Billy-like. Moves like he's catering to an audience, even when there isn't one.
The dry heat hits him and he loves it, lives for it. Missed it with every ounce of his being. Something about the air in Cali, makes his curls pop and bounce pretty against his shoulders without the help of any product at all.
Realizes his palms are sweaty, so he runs them along his jeans. His nerves getting to him more than he wants to admit, all his little nervous habits coming out all at once.
Walks up the few steps to your door. Heart hammering hard. For some reason he's terrified the girl he remembers, the girl who is his anchor to this place, might have moved on or worse... might look at him and see nothing but a shell of the guy she used to know. He's become more angry. He knows it. Feels like his world is out of his control. You only know the California Billy... not whatever grew in it's place over these past few months.
Knocks firm... hard... maybe a little too hard on your door. Seems to boom even over the soft din of cars driving by and seagulls overhead. His hand coming down and unconsciously pressing against the shark tooth he keeps in his pocket, a comfort really... a habit too, of pressing the outline of it, rough edges digging into his fingers, sometimes until they bleed.
The second the door swings open, it feels as though all the air in his lungs is sucked right out. Standing there like an angel, right there in front of him and he feels lovesick all over again.
You.
Not in his head. Not in a photo. But you... real. Seeing your face after all this time hurts. Feels like this violent rush of everything he's been trying to push down since he left flooding up to the surface too fast.
God you're more beautiful than he remembered, if that was even possible. More beautiful than the worn out photo he has of you tucked deep in the pages of his Penthouse magazine, hidden away from the prying eyes of all the random girls he brings to his room or nosy little sisters.
"Missed me, baby?"
His mouth curls into that slow easy grin you missed so much. Just standing there outside your door, like he's god's gift to the world.
"BLUE? OMG!! Billy!!"
You scream and jump into his arms. He catches you instinctively. You wrap your bare legs around his hips, burying your face against his warm neck, smelling his skin, kissing him everywhere you can get your lips.
You're flooded with so much emotion and absolute shock, seeing him standing there at your door again, after all this time. You're giggling like an idiot, can't help yourself, you're so unbelievably happy.
Blue... a nickname he almost forgot... buried down deep with everything else from this place. Hidden somewhere inside himself where no one could find it, not even him. Until you said it again, and all the memories come rushing back. A name you gave him because of all the time he spent by the sea, those blue denim Levi's he lives in, his Camaro, of course, but most of all because of those gorgeous baby blues that will stare into your soul if you let them.
He says your name. It's soft, a choke, his voice cracking just a little. Might be ashamed, if it was heard by anyone other than you.
"Are you real?"
You ask, pulling back and looking at the face you would know with your eyes closed. There's something different there though, a soft tiredness, dark circles beneath his eyes, but the sparkle is there, maybe smaller, but still burning pretty.
"Yeah, I'm real. You though... fuck... still a sexy little thing."
Gives you a sly smile, letting you slide down his body, but still holding you close. Thick heavy body exactly like you remember, although his shoulders seem broader, like he's grown more, or he's been lifting weights more than he used to. Maybe you just forgot how solid he always felt, pressed this close.
His hands come up and cup your pretty face, thumbs tracing the line of your jaw, rubbing softly and it feels so good. You stare at each other for what feels like forever.
"What's with the caterpillar?"
You ask and his eyebrows furrow.
You motion to his mustache.
"Funny."
He laughs and so do you.
"I like it. Looks good on you. You look really good... like always."
You say, then add:
"What are you doing here, Bills? Moving back, I hope!"
You smile up at him and your beauty takes his breath.
"I wish... family shit... funeral."
He says.
"Neil? Did Neil... ?"
You ask, hopeful.
Billy makes this short little huff sound.
"Nah, some guy I've never even fuckn' met... bunch of bullshit really. Just a way to get back to the coast... back to you, baby."
He answers, gaze lingering on your pretty soft lips for a beat before flicking back up to your eyes.
"God Billy, I've missed you so much! We all do. Just wasn't the same after you left."
You say, referring to the group of friends you two hung with.
"Well fuck, I mean who wouldn't miss me?"
He jokes, making a little tsk sound with his teeth.
You smile, playing with the soft curls that fall around his shoulders. His hair much longer than when you last saw him.
"After you left, we all kind of drifted apart, ya know? Sid joined the Army... loser couldn't even get past basic training and now he's fixing cars with his uncle at the shop. Lloyd's at Cal Tech... got into computers if you can believe that. He says they're the future or some shit."
You chuckle and Billy's smirk falters for just a second.
Truth was Billy wasn't ever really super close to anyone, except maybe you. Thinks about the crazy energy you all had though. It was fun. The stupid late night drunk surfing, racing down the streets to see who's car was the fastest, that was until the cops came and ruined all the fun. All of you out all hours of the night, sometimes until the sun came up. Because California never shuts off, like Hawkins does. Billy missed that. A nice distraction from what waited for him once he got back home, always past his curfew.
"The army? Jesus. I could have told him he wasn't cut out for that shit."
Laughs, shaking his head, but the humor in his eyes fades and you see this sudden sharp intensity in them. His eyes were always so expressive. You could always tell when he was lying to you, or if he was off in some way, after a fight with Neil or if there was just something on his mind. They're still sitting pretty, hidden behind the longest lashes you've ever seen on a guy. Still such a pretty boy. Tight jeans and motorcycle boots, his usual attire when he wasn't at the beach. Wearing this faded Metallica t-shirt, from a concert you all went to a few years ago. As always that Virgin Mary pendant dangling from around his neck... was his mom's. You didn't really understand fully why he still wore it, after what she did to him. You didn't bring it up and he didn't talk about it.
"Wanna come inside? No one's home."
You say, soft and sweet. Looking at those tiny freckles across the bridge of his nose, realizing how much you've missed him. How it hurts your heart just to see him standing here. That warm familiar smell of cigarettes and those soft amber notes of his faded cologne. The same damn cologne he wore when he lived down the street from you. Something else there too, always was... something comforting to you, something uniquely Billy.
"Oh yeah? Wanna show me how much you missed me?"
He hums, your faces close together, eyes burning into yours like he's reading your thoughts. His fingers finding yours, interlacing them together.
"Maybe."
You bite your bottom lip and guide him inside.
The climb up to your bedroom is a frantic, breathless blur of tangled limbs and desperate needy friction. Pushing you against a wall, hands roaming over your curves like they're the salvation for all his sins. You undo his belt between soft bites and tender kisses, random clothes falling anywhere and everywhere along the hallway.
Billy feels feral, a starving need to be close to you, to somehow erase the distance Indiana put between you two. But despite the desperate, almost violent rush to get naked, to feel you against him, to get inside you, his touch is warm and intentional, like he's savoring this.
The moment his lips touch yours, everything else falls away. No outside world pulling him in places he doesn't want to go. There's only the scent of your skin. The reality of you, back in his arms.
His strong frame is heavy against yours, pinning you to the mattress, once he has you down on the bed. Eyes burning like a blue fire, wild and hungry, his breaths heavy against your mouth.
"Fuck." (He says your name). Thought about you every night. Wondering if you'd even remember me... remember how good we were."
Whispers, gaze raking over your beautiful face, like something out of a dream he never thought would come true. Never thought he'd be lucky enough to touch you again.
"Never forget you... ever, Billy."
You say and his lips crash against yours again. Tongue sweeping into your mouth, hands everywhere all at once. Tugging your tank top up and over your head, tossing it somewhere on the floor behind him. Hot mouth licking and kissing from your lips, trailing down the sensitive line of your throat, teeth grazing your skin. Sucks and bites hard, causing instant bruises and you moan, eyes fluttering shut. It's crazy how his mouth alone can drive you crazy.
"Not gonna let you forget, baby."
He huffs.
His fingers fast and experienced, unhooking your bra and tossing it aside. His bare skin finally meeting yours, the touch burning hot, skin on skin and the sensation makes him whimper. Lifts his head, looking down at your naked body beneath his.
"So fuckn' beautiful."
He pants, pretty curls framing his face. He's like an angel.
Lips leaning down, his mouth achingly hot when he latches onto your nipple, sucking on it hard, leaving this tingling feeling that goes straight to your core, making you squirm against the sheets, arching your body more into his.
"Billy... missed you... missed this."
You whimper, running your fingers through his perfect curls, tugging. He licks straight across your skin, from one nipple over to the other. Hot mouth sucking firm, then popping off and flicking it rapidly with his tongue. One hand busy squeezing and kneading your opposite tit, while his mouth worships the other.
Billy loves your softness. Loves how your body tastes. Could swallow you whole, melt himself completely into you. That way he'd never be alone again.
Big hand slides lower, flat down your belly. His mind frantic with an impatient energy, a desperate hunger that's been building through the long months without you. Stroking his cock, alone in his room, thinking about this exact moment. Feels like he could cum right now, lose himself completely right here, before he's even inside you, before his cock is even out of his briefs.
Your skin, so familiar and so devastatingly beautiful, makes his cock throb and leak, aching to be inside your tightness. God he missed you so much.
Presses his thick fingers against your bare cunt, sliding them down through your folds, groaning, breath huffing against your skin. Gathering your slick, running his fingers back up to your clit, rubbing with slow delicious circles. You arch your back, bucking softly into his hand.
"Wanna taste you, Billy."
You moan, pushing softly against his chest.
Takes a moment for him to move, not wanting to leave this perfect spot. Resisting the urge to dive into your cunt with his tongue. To lap hungrily at your pretty slit. The smell of your pussy so heady, making his mouth water. Wants desperately to push his face right in that perfect heat, but he lets you move him anyway, your words making his balls tighten.
Rolls onto his back, head against your pillows, soft, dirty blonde curls splayed out all pretty. Watches you through heavy lids, pink lips slightly parted.
"I'm all yours, baby girl."
His words are shaky, his eyes soft and wet.
Levis already long gone somewhere in the hallway. You slowly run your hands along his solid, muscular thighs. They're strong and thick, hot to the touch. Your hands running smooth straight up to the waistband of his white briefs. You stop there, watching his blissed out face before pulling them down, slowly.
"Mmm... all for me?"
You hum, watching his pretty dick spring free.
This soft little sound comes out of him, when you free his cock, his head pushing further back against your pillows, as he watches you. Watches as your eyes trace the length of him, making his hips twitch involuntarily, wanting you to touch him. Licks his lips when you take him in your hand. Hot and heavy. Your fingers barely able to wrap fully around his girth. You forgot just how big Billy really was.
"Fuck, angel... you're gonna be the death of me."
He mumbles, breathing harder. His fingers tangling in the sheets next to him, trying to anchor himself. Pushing his hips slightly up and off the mattress, needy, desperate for the girl he's been dreaming of for months.
Billy's cock is beautiful. Thick and weighty, yet soft like velvet against your skin. The tip flushed a pretty pink, the same pink as his lips. Sunlight streaming through your curtains catches on the beads of pre cum that pool at the head, and you lean down and lick them off with the flat of your tongue.
"Still such a slut for me."
Growls, this sharp wave of pleasure shooting throughout his entire body once your hot tongue laps at the head of cock, then running it underneath the tip, along the spot you know drives him crazy. You're squeezing him nice and tight, but not moving your hand just yet.
Just tasting him. Teasing him.
Watching you through hooded eyes, his pupils blown wide as your head dips down, taking his large cock in your mouth, slow and deep. Your lips stretching wide around his thickness. The tight wet heat of your mouth shatters him, breathless sounds bubble up from somewhere deep in his chest. You feel his body go taut. You run your hand over his tight abs, raking your nails back down his smooth, tan skin, making his muscles quiver under you, and you love it so much when Billy lets go.
He deserves to be loved.
"Mmm, you taste so fucking good, Billy."
Lifting off him for a beat, just to tell him, then swallowing his cock again, deeper this time.
He reaches down, big hand gripping your hair, not tight, not rough, but enough to guide your movements. Fingers lazily scratching against your scalp, lacing through your hair.
You suck him good and slow, enjoying the way he tastes. It's addictive, the salty musk of him.
You hollow out your cheeks and stroke what can't fit into your mouth. Spit pools around the edges and slides down past your fingers, slipping down his shaft.
"That's my girl... take it... take every inch like I know you can, baby."
He purrs and you look up at him with your sexy eyes, sinking down more. You're rewarded with another pretty sound coming from deep his throat and you hum, the vibrations echoing throughout his whole body and he chuckles soft and scratches your scalp.
"Fuck, gonna make me shoot my load."
He lets out this little huff, almost a laugh, but it mixes with a sweet little moan, his fingers gripping tighter on your hair.
There's a heavy ache in your jaw from the obscene way your mouth is stretching around him. The sounds you're making on his dick are sloppy and pornographic. You gag a little, letting him hit the back of your throat, the weight of him filling your mouth completely. You feel him react, his bum lifting slightly when he feels that sexy warmth sinking down and swallowing him completely.
You pull back up to the tip, then swallow him down in one long motion again and again. Using your hand, gripping him at the base, stroking in tandem with the sucking of your hot, wet mouth. His thighs tremble lightly, his toes curling against your sheets and you can tell by his breathing that he's close.
There's a softness in the way he looks down at you. Something like love maybe. You pull away slowly. A thin trail of spit and pre cum connecting you two together. You lick across your lips and he watches as the saliva breaks and you smile up at him, smacking his fat dick against your outstretched tongue.
You smile all cute and he wants to slap you, cum on your face and maybe even marry you. Your lips are swollen and pink, your eyes soft and watery. His hand softens its grip in your hair, his thumb presses against your forehead, rubbing in little circles.
"Such a good girl for me."
His voice sounds wrecked.
"You want my pussy, Billy?"
You ask, this sweet begging look in your pretty eyes.
"Fuck, yeah. Want that sweet cunt so bad, baby."
Hums soft, then grabs your waist and hoists you up, quick, dragging your body over his until you're straddling him. Your wet, aching heat pressed hard against his throbbing cock.
"So impatient."
You tease, your head tilting towards your shoulder, biting your bottom lip all coy. Fingernails trailing down his chest and belly, leaving tiny little red marks on his skin.
"You fuckn' can't wait either... been missing my big dick and you know it."
Smirks, but you can see in blown out pupils just how much he needs this. That he's missed you just as much as you've missed him.
You lower yourself slowly, your eyes locked on his as you guide the thick, heavy head against your soaked hole. The second his tip pushes against you, you both moan, his hands digging into your hips, helping to guide you down his thick length. You sink down slowly. You feel the stretch already, filling your cunt with a delicious fullness and it's just in a little past the tip.
When he finally gets inside you, fully inside you, balls deep, you let out a sharp breathless cry, your head falling back as you get used to the sheer mass of him. He holds you still and you feel it pulse inside you, deep and heavy and it feels like heaven. Billy fills you like no one ever could. You watch his jaw clench, his fingers flexing on your hips, his whole body trying hard to not rut violently into you.
Finally you start to move in slow, grinding circles, your hips rolling sexy, making him groan deep, his tongue coming out and licking across his lips. The friction is delicious, a searing heat that builds in your low belly and radiates throughout your whole body. You pick up the pace, becoming more frantic, lifting your hips and slamming back down. The sloppy sounds bouncing off your bedroom walls.
"You fill me so good, baby... fuck... your cock is so perfect."
You cry, bouncing pretty, tits jiggling, more sexy than anything he's ever seen in his entire life.
"Yeah, you like that... like my fat dick in your tight hole."
Billy's hands move from your hips, sliding up to your waist, fingers bruising your soft skin as he pulls you down harder, forcing you to take every bit of him. His heels digging into the mattress as he ruts himself up to meet your downward bounces.
"Mmm... love it, Billy... mmm."
You lean forward, tits brushing against his chest. You reach, grabbing his hands, lacing your fingers with his as you drive yourself down onto him again and again. His cock hitting perfectly against your cervix with every deep thrust, making your vision blur and your mind go fuzzy.
You can't control the volume of your voice and the crazy sounds you're making. You're loud and wild, moaning and screaming. Anyone walking past your window right now might think you were being murdered, but you don't give a shit, because Billy Hargrove is back and his dick is buried deep in your cunt and you're hopelessly in love with him.
He's completely undone by the sight of you, the way your pretty hair tosses wildly with every bounce on his cock, your lips parted and glistening. Ecstasy written all over your beautiful face and he's captivated by you. His own breath coming in jagged, desperate hitches as he lets you take control.
"Yeah, just like that, princess.. fuck... you're so tight, angel... milking my cock so good."
He rasps. Can feel the pressure building deep in his balls, knows he's got to stop soon or he's going shoot his load before you cum and he doesn't want that, just feels too good to stop.
You're lost in pleasure, eyes half closed, your breath hitching in your throat as you find the perfect rhythm. You can feel the tension in his thighs, the way his muscles flex beneath you as you bounce happily along his fat dick.
That tension in your belly snaps, this beautiful sensation fills your entire body. An explosion deep in your core making your whole body arch and grind down, pussy fluttering as you cum, wild and beautiful, milking his cock good, bouncing on it rough and fast.
"Billy... oh fuck!... Fuck... Billy...."
A second later Billy moans your name, his hips pushing back up into you, then stopping, holding your hips still as he cums. Shoots his hot load deep in your cunt, filling you up.
You collapse against his chest, both of you breathing hard and laughing softly at the intensity of it all.
"Jesus, you really missed me, yeah?"
He teases.
"Please... who missed who? You came all the way from Indiana for a little pussy."
You laugh and give his pec a little bite, leaving behind an imprint of your teeth.
"Ouch! Such a little bitch. Bitch with the prettiest pussy though... worth every mile to get here."
Laughs soft and natural, his hand running through your hair.
Billy exhales a slow cloud of smoke from his lungs up to your ceiling. His head resting back against your headboard as he watches the lazy swirl dissipate, dancing with the sunlight pushing through your slightly open window. His eyes are vibrant blue and glassy. First time in forever the constant buzzing in his head has gone quiet. Forgot how it feels so much lighter here, forgot how easy going everything is. The lonely edges of his life feel a thousand miles away.
That warm sun just hits different. The pretty way it comes through your bedroom curtains, all warm and golden. It's like this memory that's just surfacing back into Billy's head... right here, in the familiarity of your room, your bed, the smell of you, of sex and perfume, of salty sea breezes.
The way your body feels so familiar to him, the weight of it pressed close against his. Likes the way you fit there with this terrifying perfection, like you were meant to be there.
The silence is beautiful, but it's also dangerous.
It's the kind of quiet that lets the thoughts creep in. Thoughts he usually drowns out with loud music, fast cars, that adrenaline rushing through his veins when he's looking for a fight to quiet the noise inside himself. That tug of softness, of letting his guard down just enough for someone to see him, the real him. The version he hides away.
You're such a pussy, Billy
But...
The weight of you against him right now is too grounding. The warmth of your skin, the way your breathing is slow and peaceful. That he can make you feel that way.
In the back of his mind he knows though... knows that in a few hours he'll be gone.
He's just a ghost and he knows it.
Thick fingers trace the soft curve of your hip, the dip of your waist. His touch gentle, as if, in a way, he's afraid that touching you too heavy, too much, might break whatever beautiful spell you two were in right now. In this beautiful haze of softness.
Little dust motes floating in the light, the quiet hum of someone mowing their lawn a few streets down, his weight heavy against your soft bed. Takes another drag, the smoke stinging his lungs good. Lives for the burn, helps him feel alive, although he figures the cigarettes will probably kill him one day, but that's okay. He doesn't really care too much.
You lift your head, glancing up at his face. He's not looking at you, still looking up at the patterns of light that play on your ceiling. The same pretty light catching on his dirty blonde curls, and reflecting in his eyes, making them glimmer. Eyes so blue they remind you of the days you two spent at the Pacific cove, fucking around, being stupid, having the time of your lives. It's like Billy's got the ocean right there... in those pretty blue eyes, framed by the longest, darkest lashes you've ever seen on a guy and you wonder if his mom had those too.
"Stay just like that! You look so cute right now!"
You say, jumping off the bed and running over to your closet.
Gives a little huff as you move away. His head lolling slightly to the side, watching you with heavy lids, as you scramble out of the bed, leaving him missing your warmth.
His body feels heavy, lethargic. Like after a long day spent in the sun, at the beach. Like when he was a kid. When he would come home from learning to surf, his mom telling him to take a nap, but all he did was lay in his bed and stare out his window. This euphoric feeling washing over him. Sea and salt in his hair and sand between his toes. That feeling lingering most of the day, or at least until Neil got home from work.
His cigarette hangs loose in his fingers as he watches you, little one sided lazy smile across his lips. Can feel his pulse thrumming in his veins, and the hardness growing again between his thighs, watching your naked body across the room.
"The fuck you doing?"
He huffs.
"Come here, need you... I'm lonely."
He whines, lazily flicking ashes into the ashtray on the bedside table.
You turn around with your Polaroid SX-70 in your hands. An older model, but something about this bad boy made it your favorite camera and it was instant, and that was the most important part.
He drapes one arm over his eyes, shielding them from the sudden glare of the shifting sun, watching you through the gaps in his fingers.
"I told you to stay still. You looked so cute!"
You scold.
He moves his arms back to where it was before, laying lazily across your pillows. You come back to him and straddle his hips. The weight of your sexy body pressing against his in all the right places makes him hum, hand coming up and squeezing your waist to steady you. Suddenly wanting a repeat of what you two did not ten minutes ago.
"What, I don't look cute anymore?"
He smirks.
"Of course you do, silly. You always look cute. I just need a new picture of you."
You tilt your head, smiling down at him, not really asking permission, but waiting for him to give you an argument.
"Yeah, yeah... go ahead, take your picture."
He chuckles and you giggle.
Squirming around until you get him in the frame exactly where you want him. He was always too pretty for his own good. Such sleepy eyes, you think he might actually fall asleep at any moment, if you didn't know that he always looks that way, unless he's surfing or fighting... and even then sometimes.
"Stop rubbing your pussy all over me, unless you're hinting you're ready for round two, princess."
Cigarette bobbing in his mouth as he talks.
"Be patient, needs to be just right."
You say, finally pressing the shutter. The undeveloped film slipping out of the camera. You give the film a shake, fanning it in the air to hurry the process.
Billy grabs the camera from your hand.
"Gonna need one of you too, pretty girl."
Voice too deep and raspy, always makes your insides feel hot, and truth was hearing it over the phone just didn't hit the same as hearing it in person again.
"Okay, just don't get my boobs in the shot!"
You say, but you see that wicked little smirk creep up on his face.
"Princess, please... I'm a total gentleman."
He says.
"Bullshit."
You giggle, trying to swat his hands away when he reaches up and tugs on one of your nipples with his free hand, then full on giving your whole tit a rough squeeze and then jiggling it in his hand.
"Billy... you gonna take the picture or just feel me up."
You laugh and he does too.
You realize with this sharp ache in your chest how much you've missed that laugh. The real one, the one Billy gives you with his eyes and it hurts when you wonder about how many girls get to hear that laugh in Hawkins. You don't think they deserve it... it feels too personal, too much like that real laugh belongs only to you and him.
"Jesus, bouncing these things all around. You're a menace... sit still, would ya."
His laugh tapers off, his thumb sliding back down your waist, tracing slow along your hip, holding you steady. Squinting through the viewfinder, tilting the camera in a way that focuses on your pretty face yes, but of course he gets a full shot of your gorgeous tits as well.
The shutter clicks and the undeveloped photo slides out from the camera.
Gives a low chuckle and your eyebrows furrow at him.
"Let me see... my boobs better not be in that fucking picture, Billy Hargrove!"
You say, grabbing for the picture, watching as it slowly develops in your hand. As the colors bleed into view, the image staring back at you was actually really pretty. He managed to capture your face looking prettier than you thought you were, but the angle of the lens was low enough that the sun kissed curve of your breasts were the obvious star of the photo, framed perfectly in the soft glow of your room.
You sigh and give him a look.
"Seriously, Blue? I said no tits in the pic, what the hell!"
You pout.
"Come on baby, look at them. They're perfect. They don't make tits like these in Indiana."
Jerks his hips up and down off the bed, making you bounce on his lap, your tits jiggling again.
"You're such a perv."
You laugh and smack his chest with the photo.
"Is it a masterpiece, or do I need to take another one... or a bunch more."
Cocky grin plastered to his face.
"Don't you dare show this to anyone!"
You beg, turning it over so he can see the picture.
"Fuck baby... that's hot!"
He stares at it, biting his bottom lip.
"Billy... did you hear me? Please... don't show anyone else."
Your voice a little whiny, but you're serious. The thought of some random guys in Hawkins gawking over your tits was causing you a little anxiety.
"Nah... you know I wouldn't, baby... Just for me, I promise."
He takes the photo and sets it on the bedside table, then snubs out his cigarette in the ashtray.
"I don't even need a pic... this... this is what I see every time I close my eyes."
Grips your hips with both his hands, fingers flexing softly. The words leave his mouth before he can even think to filter them. Because with you, he's different.
Sure, he builds these walls around himself as a way of keeping safe, of never getting hurt again. But here, alone with you... admitting that you are what he sees in the dark... his respite in this mess of his life... it's a massive surrender. Feels good to hide it, even if you think he's an idiot.
"Don't look at me like that."
He laughs soft, his voice cracks slightly. Eyes wide, searching yours with this soft vulnerability that's rare for Billy.
You lean down, your lips touch his. Kissing Billy has always been all heat and tongue, sloppy and messy, teeth hitting teeth, but you feel him melt against your lips. The kiss soft and unhurried. His mouth moving against yours in slow, delicious drags, tasting each other.
"Leaving Cali has made you kinda cheesy."
You tease, mumbling against his hot mouth.
He chuckles.
"Ahh... you love it, all the girls do."
He teases back.
You sit up again, grabbing his arm and biting him hard on his forearm, leaving a little matching indent of teeth, like you left on his chest earlier.
"Fuck... what the hell!"
Laughs for real again.
"Can't help but talk about other girls even when you know I am the love of your life... don't make me bite you again, Hargrove."
You laugh, and stick your tongue out at him, then you kiss the spot on his arm where the impression of your teeth still sits.
His hands come up to your face. Pulls you close.
"I'm glad you're here, Billy."
You say, the words soft, barely a breath against his lips. They vibrate through him, settling deep in the hollow of his chest where loneliness usually sits.
"Yeah?"
He smiles, then says...
"Me too, baby."
His kisses you with a deep longing, tongue sweeping soft inside your mouth and your body is flooded all over again with a desperate urgency to have him and never let him go.
"Mmm... think this pretty little pussy feels a little left out... think she needs a kiss. Why don't you come sit on my face."
Purrs, his voice deep and throaty and you smirk, can't help yourself.
"Anything to shut you up."
You smirk, then awkwardly scoot up over his body, knees spread wide. Your hands grip the headboard as you straddle his face. He pulls you down impatiently, hands tightly gripping your thighs.
Billy buries his mouth between your legs with a low groan. The scent of you, this sweet feminine headiness that fills his senses, driving him mad with a hungry lust. His tongue pokes out and strokes through your folds, slow and teasingly, enjoying the flavor. His full lips wrap around your clit, suckling hungrily and you gasp, gripping the wood of the headboard tighter, your thighs instinctively squeezing against his big head.
"Fuck, mmm... missed my mouth, baby girl?"
Mumbles against your slit and you feel the vibrations on your swollen nub and you moan soft.
"Jesus, Bills... fuck, yes!"
You whimper, your belly feeling that familiar heat and you rut yourself against his face. His hands squeeze your hips, fingers digging into your softness. Pulls you down harder, hands sliding from your hips to your plush ass, squeezing and pushing you against his face.
Big nose pushed in deep, brushing deliciously against your swollen clit. His tongue laps long strips up your slit, then flicks your clit and starts over again with his nose.
"Like that, baby... Fuck, I missed this sweet little cunt so much."
Murmurs, fingers sliding deep into your heat, stretching you good, moving them fast. Finger fucking you good and hard while he suckles your clit.
"Mmm... feels so good, baby... gonna cum..."
It hits you fast.
You whimper and cry, moving your body against him, frantically. Billy's eyes close as your slick coats his lips, his chin and the tip of his nose. His hands helping to grind your cunt against him, smearing his pretty face with your wetness.
He hums, staying between your thighs for as long as possible, hidden away from the world between your beautiful thighs. Wish he could live here.
Both of you breathing heavily. You slowly move off him. His face a pretty mess, glistening, slow lazy grin plastered on his face.
You smile and watch him lick his lips.
"Yummy."
He gives you a little wink.
The gold light in your bedroom has changed, its shifted, turning from bright to a heavy orange, as the sun begins to set. Shadows playing long across your wooden floor.
For Billy, the changing light is like a countdown.
Every minute the sun dips lower, back behind the soft blue ocean, is a minute closer to the inevitable: the drive back to a place that isn't his, the silence in his car, the looming temper of Neil. Knows his father won't be happy about him disappearing after the funeral for hours.
He breathes in deep and long, then out slow. Breaks the warmth of the sheets and your body. Sits up, on the edge of the bed. His broad shoulders hunched as he stares down at the floor, running his hands through his messy curls.
"Don't want you to go. Maybe I can hide you under my bed until Neil gives up and goes back to Hawkins without you."
You say, rubbing his back.
Doesn't respond. Truth was he didn't want to miss you. Because missing you would just bring back that hole in his heart. Spent his whole life living in those empty spaces inside himself and he's tired of it. Just wants to feel love. To be loved. He's used to it though, and for some reason this time hurts worse than when he first moved away and he's not exactly sure why.
Turns, pulling your body close to his. Rests his forehead against yours, breathing you in. All of you. The vanilla scent of your skin, your pretty mouth, the shampoo that clings to your hair, can smell himself on you too.
"You'll be back though, right?"
You ask, softly, hopeful. Of course he will.
"You know it."
He smiles, eyes closed, forehead to forehead.
He stands up, moving around the room like his legs are made of lead. Finding the clothes you both tossed so casually around the room and into the hallway. You just sit there and try not to cry. Goodbyes are never easy, but this isn't goodbye to remind yourself.
You shiver, not because you're cold, just a little overwhelmed, sitting there naked, watching him gather his things, puts his briefs and jeans back on.
Grabs the Metallica t-shirt he was wearing earlier from off the hallway floor. Steps close, his warm hands guide your arms through the short sleeves, pulling the fabric down over you. It swallows you, the hem reaching your mid thigh, oversized and smelling strong of Billy, cigarettes, cologne.
There is this weird feeling in your chest. A sadness you can't explain. Just the overwhelming intensity of this whole afternoon, really the whole year. You want to grab him and never let go, pull him back to bed and pretend the sun never has to set.
The air outside is dry and cool, hitting your overheated bare legs after you walk him back down to your porch. You fingers interlaced with his, just like when he first came to your door just a few short hours ago.
Turns to face you. Your porch light comes on by itself, like it always does when the sun gets low enough in the sky. It casts you both in a soft glow. Those eyes, like a deep sea, a blue that changes tone depending on his mood. Can go from bright to stormy, warm to cool in a flash and right now they're deep and dark... pretty pools of indigo.
He cups your jaw, thumb running under your eye, wiping away a tear you didn't even realize was there.
"Call me. When you get home safe. We'll make plans. You can stay here once you're ready. You know my mom loves you."
You smile up at him.
"Yeah... you know I love your mom."
He chuckles, eyebrows dancing up and down.
"I'm serious... you can come and stay here."
You smile.
Billy knows he has a grind ahead of him. Working at the pool week days and part-time at the garage on weekends to save up enough money to get back here. Back to you.
"Gonna work my ass off to get here as fast as I can, baby."
Leans in and kisses you one last time, it's warm and taste like summer.
He pulls back first, squeezes your hand soft, then turning and walking towards his car.
"Blue... I love you."
You say to his back.
Standing there in just his oversized t-shirt, hair blowing soft in the summer breeze. Already missing the boy you said goodbye to months ago, having to say it all over again. You stand there, watching him through a blur of tears.
He stops, standing there for a beat.
"Love you too."
He says, turning back to look at you, soft little smile on his lips.
In a beat he's back in the Camaro, engine rumbling loud. That sound brining you instantly back to summers long ago. It vibrates through your bones.
You wave.
He shifts gear and you see his broad shoulders and pretty curls though the glass. You see his fingers lift slightly off the steering wheel, waving back.
You stay there until the moment the last flicker of his red tail lights vanish behind the trees.
Then the damn breaks and you cry like a baby.
The letter arrives on a Tuesday, a non day really... a mundane, boring Tuesday, but the moment your eyes catch the handwriting your heart skips a beat.
You've both been living for the phone calls, making plans. A few more months until he had enough money and could finally drive off, away from Neil, putting Hawkins behind him and coming home for good. The plans were set in motion. But sometime in July, he stopped calling and didn't call you back when you left messages. You thought maybe he just got busy with work, he was always working, so you didn't think much of it really. Figured he'd call you back when he got the chance. He'd be living here soon enough, and you could see him every day.
You sit with the letter and as you read, your vision blurs... the words not making sense...scrambling in your brain. The writing, feminine and neat, too pretty for what they were saying.
Starcourt Mall Fire
The paper shakes in your hand, the words smudging as the first hot stinging tears start to fall, hitting the paper.
Max's words, careful and guarded, though you can't possibly pick up on that. Like she wants to say more, a secret she can't quite tell you.... talking about a how Billy was a hero... some kids saved from a fire at the new mall... he was so brave... but all you really see are the words:
"Billy's gone."
Your boy Blue, eyes the color of the sea.
Maybe Billy just changed his mind and he's making poor Max do the dirty work of letting you down easy. Lie to you and make you think he's gone so you forget him. Move on. Maybe he didn't want to come back and didn't have the heart to tell you himself.
"Billy...."
The sudden gasp that tears from your lungs is violent, a sharp, jagged intake of air as your eyes snap open and you bolt upright. For a terrifying second you're still in the dark, your heart hammering, confused, your skin clammy with sweat.
"It wasn't real... wasn't real..."
You whisper to yourself.
The dream too vivid and heavy. You glance at the clock, 3 am. You grab the phone next to your bed, your hands shaking, you dial his number and wait... and then he picks up.
"What the hell... this better be important."
Billy's voice is low and sleepy over the line.
"Fuck... Billy... I had the weirdest dream... Billy..."
You cry and the soft whisper of your voice cuts through his sleepiness like a knife. You hear his voice shift.
"Hey... hey... easy baby... s'ok."
He murmurs.
"You need to come sooner than we talked about... please, Billy."
Your voice desperate.
He's quiet. Processing what you're saying. You can hear him breathing.
"Yeah... okay. I can do that. I can come sooner."
He says.
"Really? You promise me?"
You relax against the sheets.
"Yeah princess. I think I have enough money. It was just a dumb dream though... you know that, right?"
He mumbles.
"Just get your ass here, Blue. California misses you."
Your voice finally losing the anxiety, becoming calmer.
He chuckles low, it's warm and pretty against your ear and you feel happier than you ever have.
"Is that so, princess? Or is it just you that misses me?"
He says.
"Yeah... that too."
You smile in the dark.
You two talk for hours, until the first rays of orange light filter between your curtains and an exhaustion falls over you both.
You fall asleep with the phone in your hand, the warm hum of his breathing on the other end of the line and know he's real...
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