Untitled @nipthaniel - Tumblr Blog

I may have. Possibly. Reread a manga I liked as a kid, and then found out I still really liked it.

+anima is really dumb and cute and has adorable little kids with awful pasts and animal powers living in a fantasy world that brutally persecutes them for their abilities, ok? What is there not to love. NOTHING. THAT’s RIGHT.

mayahan

Japanese Goldfish Bags Handcrafted By Atelier Iwakiri

serotnin

me: ah, I’m just being paranoid…………………. (squints) or is it my intuition

lunatyc

this is honestly so pure

mikkeneko

After years of living in the adulting world, I think I’ve come to a realization: Manners exist to guide you to good conduct even when you’re in a bad mood.

When you’re happy, when you’re feeling generous, when you’re pleased with your gift or your service or your outcome, it’s easy to be nice. It’s easy to tip the waiter well when you’ve had a good day. It’s easy to thank the teller or the clerk when you got what you wanted out of the transaction. It’s easy to smile and chit-chat with strangers on the road when you’re in a good mood.

It’s hard to tip the waiter when you didn’t enjoy your food. It’s hard to thank the clerk for their time when you’ve just been told there’s a problem with their account and they weren’t able to fix it for you. It’s hard to think of something nice to say when your aunt gave you a crappy sweater you neither need nor want. It’s hard to be nice to people when you’ve had a shitty day. It’s HARD.

That’s what manners are for. Scripts and phrases that you learn by rote to say when you can’t think of a single nice or good thing to say from your own volition. Yes, they’re scripted. Yes, the sentiment is empty. But the scripts work in every situation, and the emptiness provides a buffer between your own unhappiness and the rest of society.

Because most of the time, it’s not the waiter’s fault that the food you ordered wasn’t what you expected. It’s not the clerk’s fault that your account is overdrawn. It’s not the fault of the barista or the stranger on the subway that you got fired today or your favorite aunt died. But even when you can’t summon a smile or a cheery word, you can still have manners, because they will serve you the same in sunshine or rain.

adaswordlace

https://twitter.com/CriminelleLaw/status/1037511306906099712

Reminds me of my mom getting remarried several years ago, for about a weekend - dude waited until after the wedding to tell her he expected her at waiting at home with dinner waiting when he finished work.

I dunno, like I get that this version of manhood is “normal” but goddamn is it the most brittle, contemptable fuckin thing

unified-multiversal-theory

This is NOT these women’s fault in any way - these men hide their misogyny until they think you’re hooked. They know what they are doing.

kittiesatemypronouns

These women are wise and brave. I admire them so much!

geekandmisandry

Not even touching the fact that he thinks teachers and nurses are lesser…he wants her to be less so that he can be more.

imnottechsupport

Am i the only one that thinks they could have come back from this? Like please tell me this was just the straw that broke the camels back and not a one off event. He must be an at least somewhat respectable person if she managed to stay with him up til that point. Him feeling lesser is a taught facet of his life pushed upon him by the patriarchy. It obviously damaged the way he viewed his gf, and his relationship, but that doesnt mean it cant be untaught. And of course its not this womans responsibility to be his teacher, but i hope she at least made him aware that this is what happened and why she left…

geekandmisandry

Literally how can you come back from someone wanting to have more power over you?

He’s not a little kid, he’s a grown ass man and if he hasn’t learned that 1. Teachers and nurses are smart as fuck and 2. That women aren’t and shouldn’t be lesser to him then when the hell is he going to learn from that?

Why does it need to be a final straw? Signs that someone is this fucked up are logs, not straws. And being a “respectable” person is easy when you’re lying about who you are and what you think.

dragonsrequiem

These guys waited until they thought their women couldn’t possibly exist without them and then tried to shut down the things that made them special. Being nurses. Public defenders. Teachers.

These men pointed out what they were so proud of… how hard they worked… and tried suggesting that they stop. Tried making them feel bad about it. This is a common pathway into emotional and psychological abuse.

It was designed to make them feel bad and give it up. The next step would have been “what else can I take away”. Those situations where the woman’s confidence is shattered and it takes her years to get free of the asshole… 9/10 started with comments like this.

Please understand that this wasn’t an off the cuff thing. This was something he’s been thinking for a while, but waited to say til he thought he could make her change to suit him.

crossbowsandunicorns

This is so important. These are not normal or innocuous comments these are red flags and classic behavior of abusers. People like this are insanely manipulative. They hook you in and pick you apart piece by piece. It starts with this, moves on to isolating you from your support system, and then flashforward a few years and you’re convinced that you’ll never be good enough and you need them to survive. You end up broken and completely subservient. These women did the right thing and are brave for speaking. Abusers aren’t usually the neighbors you hear screaming and shattering dishes like you see in the movies. They’re your “friendly next door neighbors” and they keep quiet. People are too scared to talk. Again, why her speaking up is so important.

porcupine-girl

THIS STUFF ALL OF THIS.

People wonder how anyone stays with an abuser - this is how. Because manipulative people don’t hit you or insult you on the first date. They wait until you’re invested in them and the relationship, and then they start small, with comments like this.

And they rely on the fact that so many people’s reaction will be “okay, that sucked, but we can come back from this.” They bank on their victim thinking that way. They might even apologize and claim they won’t do it again. But they always do, and they escalate slowly, so you’re a frog in a pot of hot water.

Don’t wait for the tenth red flag, because by then you’ll be starting to think that hey, that’s actually kind of a nice shade of red, so maybe it’s not so bad to have all these red flags around, maybe if I just decorated with them they’d be okay.