thoughts unleashed

Tiffany, 21, living in Cali. Studying at SJSU. I like the color blue. I am a pretty open minded person yet I have my own opinions. I used to be pretty shy and soft spoken but I'm learning to be stronger, smarter, and more confident. I'll gladly help with questions/concerns you have =]

[ihernglass]

Kayden’s first time experiencing rain (x)

[tifftin]

I thought I could go without posting my thoughts but I feel so uneasy without talking about it. Although this is not to anyone in particular, I still feel better when I write it all out. It makes more sense to me.

Been going almost a year? Iono how long, without posting. I’ve been doing a lot of...

[nitynaffit-blog]

Try, try... again.

Should really try harder in the things I do. I always seem to give up because I feel like it's the end for me. Or because I don't believe that I can do it so I just stop. I figure that things will just play out, or they'll change and so why should I plan, why should I put so much effort in? But things is, I should at least try. I should continue to give it my best and do different things even if it turns out it won't be of any help. 

Rejection sucks. And I truly hate it. I wish that I had thick skin so I could accept it and keep moving on. I guess I somewhat admire those with thick skin. I wish I wouldn't give a care in the world and did what I believed in. That's what I need. Especially with my potential future in the business world... since that is my major. Let's hope I don't die too fast out there.

[nitynaffit-blog]

Procrastination.

Lemme just not want to do my homework and keep refreshing my Facebook and Tumblr to hopefully see something new. 

And my boyfriend is not responding to me... so I have no one to talk to. He is the only one I will actually annoy and pester to talk to me or say random ass shit to when I am bored... cuz he's my boyfriend. I take advantage of that. But he's being difficult. -_-

So. I guess I will go do my homework now. blah.

[nitynaffit-blog]

Gettin' back in it.

Finally got back to working out since IM's are taking a break. It's such a pain with the workouts that Econ is giving me but at the end of the day, I'm really glad I went to the gym cuz it just makes me feel like I'm actually working at something. I'm pretty weak right now especially because I haven't done any type of real work out for at least 2 months =[ But I'm slowly getting back into it. It's a lot harder trying to do the exercises without Econ here to show me a demonstration though... At least most of the guys in the gym are nice enough to show me how and don't think I'm just some dumb girl.

Hopefully I can maintain this. But with babe's help and encouragement, I think I can do this. I feel good going back already. And it helps that I'm not doing the same stuff every day. Alterations keep it interesting. I think my baby should be a trainer if not a Navy Nuke =p jk. I would look like such a bad girlfriend if he were to become a trainer -_- All weak and shit.

Also trying to eat healthy. (With "cheat" days that Econ told me about where I can be a rebel and eat what I want. Teehee!)

LET'S GOOOOO!!

[nitynaffit-blog]

I am not

I am not as strong as I thought I was.

I am not as good of an "actor" I thought I was.

I am not as much of an athlete I thought I was.

I am not as calm as I thought I was.

I am not the good person I thought I was.

I am not as nice as I thought I was.

I am tired. Tired of trying to make everything work, trying to make everyone happy, tired of driving back and forth, tired of living up to other people's standards, tired of having little or no confidence, tired of having to worry about things I do not and should not be worried about, tired of being here, tired of being there, tired of planning, tired of myself...

I am not who I think I am. I am nothing.

[strawberrytelle]

[nitynaffit-blog]

during a relationship, things will happen. there will be a lot of mistakes, and you might break up. if this happens, remember this, remember why you fell in love in the first place. remember all the times you spent, and all the times you held each other close. remember that you two were brought together for a reason: it’s fate.

sometimes i feel like we need luck to be loved

I feel like I need that constant reminder. Am I just being super shallow? I hate how it gets to me. 

[tifftin]

Food is my weakness.

[ezape]

If you reblog this before February 28th, I will take your URLs and scatter them over Disney World in Florida. You never know who might find them.

[nitynaffit-blog]

First retreat EVER!

Omg, I'm excited and scared at the same time for retreat this weekend!!!

I don't know what to expect and the motto is always to "participate, don't anticipate" so I'm trying to do just that. But honestly, I have no idea what is gunna go on. Haha! 

Gunna be cut off from all of outside world and only hanging with my confirmation peeps! I feel like I'm gunna come out of that retreat all renewed and fresh =D (does that count as anticipating? woops) =p

[nitynaffit-blog]

27 Dresses

I've never been chased after. I've never really been courted. I always gave away the fact that I like the guy and they never really asked me to go out on dates nor had to work too hard to get me. I was "easy". But not in the dirty way.

There was a time when a guy was nice enough to tell me that he was attracted to me, but my heart already belonged to someone else; so obviously that ended quickly.

And although I'm already in a quite "serious" relationship (I would say), I would still like to be "courted" in a way. Like, have him plan out dates, or surprise me in some way that makes me go awww or something like that, or even just quietly singing me a song when we're cuddling. But there's no more time for that. He's not even here anymore... and other than texting and skyping or talking on the phone maybe once or twice a week, we don't say much anymore. 

And when he comes back to visit... I am so happy to spend time with him, but we never really get to do all the things we wanna do because our time is limited and I continue to have school and work. And on top of that, I don't wanna be too selfish and keep him all to myself. I still want him to reconnect with his friends. I guess, to make him happy, I'm willing to be the one that plans the surprises and such. =]

After watching 27 Dresses, made me really jealous of weddings. I don't love weddings as much as Jane in the movie, but definitely they bring me to tears and I love the whole shebang. It's incredible and it's such a joy to bring all your friends and family together for that special moment. I know that my wedding will cause my brain to explode, but in the end, it will all be worth it. I know it will. 

I just can't wait to get married, move in with him, and spend the rest of my life with him. I know it's him. Right? =\ Stupid uncertainty of the world!!

[tifftin]

Although we couldn’t spend valentines day together, I still think of you every moment of my day. <# thanks to @fantasticfamfashion for the awesome design! We love it!!! #longdistance #military #navyboy #navygirlfriend #iloveyou #ffam #ourlovestory #latepost #vday #foreverlove #futurehubby

[nitynaffit-blog]

I found $5 today.

Feb. 13, and I found $5 on the floor outside my classroom with a 7-eleven receipt folded with it. I was gunna turn it in to lost and found, but I didn't know where the lost and found was on campus. I ended up walking to the campus police station but the window wasn't open, so I just talked to the parking services people cuz they're right next to the police window. The guy told me to just keep it cuz the receipt had no clues as to who the person could be and the 7-eleven wasn't even the ones near school. 

I felt bad for keeping what wasn't mine, but there was nothing I could do anymore, so I just put it in my wallet. 

And today is Ash Wednesday. I wasn't planning on going to the mass though, cuz I had a night class. But it was cut short and so I made it just in time for the mass at my usual church. At the time of collection, I decided to give that $5 as donation to the church. 

I like to think this was God's will. And I let His will be done. Everything played out to His desire.

So to whoever dropped that $5 bill, you have just given back to the community indirectly; and I thank you on behalf of St. Joseph's Parish Church. 

[nitynaffit-blog]

Sending him care packages

I sent out a box of stuff for him today. I had to bring it to school, since it was just more convenient that way and I felt kinda funny carrying a brown box from the garage to the campus post office cuz normally it's people that live in the dorms that would send stuff out. But anyways...

Other than that, I enjoy putting together care packages for him. It gets a little difficult to think of things to send him, but knowing how happy he'd be to see that he got a package filled with food and a letter from me makes it alllllll worth it. =]

(Cuz I get hecka excited when I receive something from him. Even though I don't want him to spend misc. money on me cuz I want him to save up for his car and whatever else he wants) *shrug*

Basically, care packages are fun =p

[nitynaffit-blog]

Music is my beautiful escape.

Whenever I am feeling lethargic or not really up to par, when I want to have some time to myself, when I wanna dance to my content, when I want something to calm me down... music is the answer. Especially those soft covers of what you usually hear. It's a nice change than from what you hear ALL the time on the radio. 

My friend Joline once asked/mentioned that I have a lot of covers of popular songs but never the original. I realize now that it's because I'm sick of them. I hear them at work, in the car on the radio non-stop. So why not listen to other talented singers/composers that are able to make it unique and their own? 

[itsbaby-g]

[soaringwoes]

Four-year-old Paige Bennethum really, really didn’t want her daddy to go to Iraq. So much that when Army Reservist Staff Sgt. Brett Bennethum lined up in formation at his deployment this July, she couldn’t let go. No one had the heart to pull her away. Everyone should stop reblogging hipster photos and reblog this, it won’t ruin your ‘type’ of blog. 

.

[nitynaffit-blog]

forever rebloggin :'[

[tifftin]

I’m not sure if what I do is too much. I feel like I’ve probably made a post about this already, but it’s constantly on my mind. It’s annoying. I wanna do certain things to make others happy or simply because I can, but it’s no use. People don’t really appreciate it and they probably don’t even...