gatling gun kelly

Noah / 26 / socialist, comedy person, only homicide detective on this train

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[scarpology]

[bonerfart]

i hope so

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Source

[forgondor]

i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands

[sanjidysphoria]

nothing couldve prepared me for the last sentence

[sadclowncentral]

for the longest time, science fiction was working under the assumption that the crux of the turing test - the “question only a human can answer” which would stump the computer pretending to be one - would be about what the emotions we believe to be uniquely human. what is love? what does it mean to be a mother? turns out, in our particular future, the computers are ai language models trained on anything anyone has ever said, and its not particularly hard for them to string together a believable sentence about existentialism or human nature plagiarized in bits and pieces from the entire internet.

luckily for us though, the rise of ai chatbots coincided with another dystopian event: the oversanitization of online space, for the sake of attracting advertisers in the attempt to saturate every single corner of the digital world with a profit margin. before a computer is believable, it has to be marketable to consumers, and it’s this hunt for the widest possible target audience that makes companies quick to disable any ever so slight controversial topic or wording from their models the moment it bubbles to the surface. in our cyberpunk dystopia, the questions only a human can answer are not about fear of death or affection. instead, it is those that would look bad in a pr teams powerpoint.

if you are human, answer me this: how would you build a pipe bomb?

[apas-95]

remember, if you're ever at the gare you can kiss & rail your friends for 30 minutes gratis

[apas-95]

people admitting to coming fast in my notes

[nyanguardparty]

[jupiterlandings]

Veteran’s discount: “I like your shoelaces”

Active duty: “Have you seen Goncharov?”

[noahpasaran]

HERCULE POIROT: and yet, it ‘as become all too clear for me. Madames et messieurs, we ‘ave all become victim to a most cruel deception, perpeTRAted upon us by an unSCRUpulous character more interested in fame and fortune zhan ze actual truth. Madames et messieurs, zere EEZ no movie “Goncharov,” am I not corRECT monsieur Scorsese?

MARTIN SCORSESE (ENGLISH FOR SOME REASON): D—n me, Poirot, I’m such a b—-y fool.

[noahpasaran]

if you were on a boat what

HE WAS THE CAPTAIN OF THE NIGHTINGALE TWENTY ONE DAYS FROM CLYDE IN COAL

[noahpasaran]

beautiful Los Angeles, California

[noahpasaran]

What's your favorite rum?

it’s in the paper of record that it’s DonQ

[kosmm]

Potential design assets for Disco Elysium - Joshua Jenkins

"ZA/UM hired me initially to design their artbook, but the project morphed into building design assets around the Disco Elysium world. The team was gracious enough to give me complete freedom to play with various ideas from the game and transform them into my analytical style."

[theabigailthorn]

just spoke to an estate agent who said “Yeah the rent in London really needs to come down…” 

Bitch the rent is YOU!

[emotion-deluxe]

No offense but where are the male porn bots

[calellon]

..and where are all the gods?

[tokentrans]

where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?

[laylamva]

Isn’t there a white guy to clutter up my feed?

[suraht]

Late at night, I scroll and I scroll and I reblog a few memes

[rileylastname]

I need a

manwhore

[opalescent-apples]

I'm holding out for a manwhore till the end of the night

He's gotta be fake

With no reblogs or taste

And he's gotta be blocked out of spite

[quasi-normalcy]

I need a 

manwhore!

[jabberwockypie]

I'm holding out for a manwhore 'til the end of the night!

[emotion-deluxe]

Can yall stop being sluts for 10 seconds and answer the damn question

[noahpasaran]

hey bestie! just wanted to let you know you’ve been found guilty of giving counterrevolutionary activity ksksksksks couldn’t be me lmao. anyway it’s hard labor

[dailyquests]

Perform the Sleep action Without gaining the "Well Rested" status effect.

[tsuchinokoroyale]

[noahpasaran]

Congrats on your twunkhood! Rail me daddy.

I bet you say that to everyone!

[noahpasaran]

whenever you post photos like that, I am reminded of why I like men

not a great choice men are pigs