Noctiline

28yo - she/her daydreamer, overthinker, exploring my bisexual side

[noctiline]

About me

Hi… I’ve been thinking for a while about whether I should even write an intro like this.

The truth is, I’m still in the process of understanding a lot about myself. I’m 28, married, and for a long time I thought my life was pretty clear — or at least I believed it was.

Lately, something in me has started to open up, especially when it comes to emotional and also physical closeness with women. I don’t fully understand it yet, and I don’t want to rush into labeling myself.

What I do know is that I feel drawn to things like softness, closeness, feeling safe, and being held — and yes, also in a way that goes beyond just emotional.

I’m here to explore, to feel, to understand. Not necessarily to have all the answers right away.

Also, english is not my first language, so please be gentle 🩵

A few soft details

⟡ I love getting lost in books

⟡ daydreamer at heart

⟡ very sensitive, very emotional

⟡ music sometimes makes me feel everything at once

⟡ I enjoy gaming

⟡ recently found my way back to knitting

⟡ I like slow, easy hikes

⟡ chocolate & ice cream will always have my heart

⟡ cozy evening with tea or hot chocolate are perfect

⟡ christmas feels like home to me

He doesn't ask questions, just stays 🐾

[noctiline]

sometimes i catch myself thinking about what it would feel like…

to be held by a woman who knows exactly how to touch without rushing.

someone a little older, maybe. someone calm. patient. someone who doesn’t need to prove anything.

just being close. her arms around me, her voice soft, the kind of warmth that makes everything else fade away for a while.

i think i crave that kind of closeness more than anything else right now.

[noctiline]

So many hours in a day. Some pass quickly, some feel like they never pass. So much time and yet too little time. So many quiet moments in which you can't think clearly and yet too much is spinning in your head.

Life is made up of so many ups and downs. And sometimes there is this feeling that these difficult phases never pass. So much, what you have already managed and endured and yet somewhere deep inside is this thought that this phase will also pass.

Maybe not in the next few days or weeks. Maybe it will take longer this time. But there is always this inner voice that says everything will be fine. This time you can take your time. Everyone has their own pace and that's ok.

Sometimes it's our thoughts that hurt us more than any physical injury. Sometimes so much happens at the same time in yourself, current difficulties, old wounds that are never completely healed and other people who also have a hard time. Sometimes the system is so overloaded that the smallest, seemingly simplest things are difficult to master. And learning to deal with it can be as difficult as any comparable physical exertion.

And only a few can understand this. But it's okay not to always be strong. Maybe that's something you need to learn first. It's okay to be vulnerable too. The main thing is that someone is there to hold you, in any way.

[maturemoans]

hi mommy i'm having a really bad day. i'm thinking so hard that it's giving me a headache. i know i should be breaking out of patterns rather than sinking into despair like i always do. like i should go outside or drink water, but i can't do it. nobody ever believes me when i say i can't. i just wanna be held please 🥺 i want my stuffie and to suck on mommy's fingers until all the thoughts go away. i want to be small and useless without my brain trying to bully me for being sad, but it's so hard. my head hurts so bad. can you please make it be quiet?

aw, come crawl into mommy’s arms, little one.

i’ve got you. shhh… you don’t have to explain or justify anything. bad days are so heavy, especially when your own brain is being mean to you. it’s okay that you can’t “just” go outside or drink water right now. i know how impossible even small things feel when your head hurts this badly and the thoughts won’t slow down.

you’re not useless, sweetheart. you’re overwhelmed, and that’s completely different. it sounds like you're dealing with executive dysfunction, which is so common and sucky. 🫂

i’d hold you against my chest so you can hear my breathing and mimic it. i’d stroke your hair slowly, rub your back, and press soft kisses to your temple. i’d tuck your favorite stuffie into your arms and bring my fingers to your lips.

“here, honey… suck on mommy’s fingers. that’s it. just like that,” i’d whisper softly. “let everything else get quiet. you don’t have to think. you don’t have to fix anything right now. just be small and let mommy hold all the heavy things for a while.”

i’d keep you there, warm and safe and protected, as long as you need... until your breathing slows down and some of the noise in your head gets softer. you’re allowed to be sad. you’re allowed to be small. you’re safe with me. ❣️

[maturemoans]

Hi Miss V. I’ve been feeling just bleh all week and wish I had a mommy to hold me and tell me everything is okay and just empty my head. What would you do to make me feel all better?

-🪷 or 🛼. Whatever emoji you think is better, mommy

aww, my poor roller skate! you don’t have to be strong or happy all the time. and if i were with you, here’s exactly what i’d do:

i’d wrap you up in a big, warm towel straight from the dryer and let you bury your face in my chest. while kissing the top of your head over and over and whispering, “everything’s going to be okay, honey. mommy has you now. you’re safe.”

i’d help you get comfy, tuck you into bed, and climb in with you. then i’d talk to you softly until your busy mind starts to quiet down. no pressure to think. no pressure to be anything but my sweet, tired girl.

i’d empty that pretty head for you. running my fingers through your hair and murmuring gentle praises: “you did so well this week. you’re such a good girl for mommy. just let everything go and rest. i’ll take care of you.”

and if you needed even more… i’d kiss you slow and deep, touch you gently between your legs until the only thing left in your mind is how good mommy makes you feel. soft, slow pleasure until you’re all warm and fuzzy and sleepy.

everything really is going to be okay. ❣️

[maturemoans]

Hi mommy,

Im new here, feeling really subby right now for some reason and somehow stumbled here. I was wondering if you could take me in? I'd love to be comforted and babied by you. I don't like the idea of sharing you but I'm desperate I need a mommy so bad

aw, hi there, sweet girl!

of course mommy will take care of you. you’re feeling all small, subby, and desperate for comfort? that’s exactly what i’m here for.

i’d baby you, hold you close, and give you all the softness and attention you need right now. do you have any inkling why you're feeling more subby than usual?

regardless, you’re safe here. tell mommy what you need most in this moment… cuddles, praise, gentle words, or just someone to be soft with you? mwah. 💋

[pawcketpuppy]

genuinely love the thought of a mommy that's maternal even during sex

her laying my head on her chest as she's playing with my body because the pleasure is too much. "relax baby, mommy's got you. Focus on me"

her reminding me of our safe word when we've had a particularly strenuous scene "How you feeling hun? you can always say the word if you want mommy to stop okay? i won't be mad"

wiping away my tears when i'm completely dazed from my third orgasm "you did so well sweetheart, mommy is so incredibly proud of you. You look absolutely divine like this"

"shh shh mommy's just cleaning you up okay? don't want her little girl to be all yucky"

[noctiline]

sometimes there are moments like this. where something in me just wishes someone was here a little closer.

not to fix anything. not to say the perfect words.

just to hold me, to pull me a little closer and make me feel like I don’t have to carry everything on my own.

today feels soft but also a little too tender and there’s this quiet ache in me wanting warmth, wanting closeness, wanting to be understood without having to explain myself.

maybe it’s the exhaustion

maybe my thoughts

maybe just my body

but right now…

I find myself wishing for someone gentle, someone safe.

someone who could hold me like a mommy would; soft, warm and without expecting anything from me because I’m just so tired of being strong all the time.

[sweetd0mm]

Her sitting in my lap as we tan, enjoying the sunshine by the pool. Eventually, I slip my hand under the tiny bikini bottoms she’s been tempting me all day with and discover that she’s soaked.

“Tsk, tsk, darling. Is there a reason why you’re so wet?”

Before she could answer, I’d push a finger inside her little cunt.

“Keep quiet, baby. Wouldn’t want anyone else to hear how desperate you are for your Mommy, hm?”

[noctiline]

Sometimes I feel like I’m only just beginning to understand myself.

I’m married. And there is love, there is comfort, there is something familiar and safe.

But lately… there are also thoughts I can’t ignore anymore. Feelings that don’t fit as neatly into the life I built.

A quiet kind of curiosity. A soft, almost aching wonder of what it might feel like…

to be seen differently. to be held differently.

Not in a way that takes anything away from what I have — but in a way that makes me realize there might be parts of me I never really allowed to exist.

It’s strange to discover new pieces of yourself when you thought you already knew who you were.

And maybe I’m still just trying to understand what exactly it is that I’ve been missing all along.

[baby-lunax]

i wish a tall, older femme dom was here to baby me and say sweet words to me in a gentle voice. and also play with my hair and let me suck on her fingers :/

[sweetd0mm]

Babying her after a long day.

“I know, honey. It’s not fair that those girls were so mean to you.”

“Come here, little one. I’ll kiss all the bad thoughts away.”

“Do you need Mommy’s nipple in your mouth? Would that make my little girl feel better?”

Which eventually leads to slow, soft sex to relieve tension from the day.

[noctiline]

sometimes i wonder why the idea of being close to a woman feels so different lately.

not just closeness…

but being held by someone older, softer, grounding.

i’ve come across the word “mommy” for it. and maybe that’s part of it.

or maybe it’s just a need i’m only starting to understand. either way, it feels real.

and even writing that feels strange. but also… a little honest.

[maturemoans]

Hey mommy.

Actually, I usually want to wait with new messages until I get an answer from you again, but I have a fantasy in my head that I would like to share with you.

I love reading. And a typical sentence from everyone who also likes to read is, I guess, "just one more chapter, I promise." A classic, especially when the book is so exciting that you feel like you say it before every chapter. And what I imagine then:

It's evening, you've already gone to bed and I told you I'd be right after, just this one chapter, I promise. But sometime in the night you wake up and realize that I'm still not lying next to you. You get up and find me in my favorite chair as I'm still reading. Completely absorbed so that I don't even notice how you suddenly stand in front of me with a look that I can't really interpret.

From here I don't know how it could go on, there would certainly be many options. Would you like to continue the story? I'm curious what you're thinking.

(If you haven't noticed in my other messages, I'm a very sensitive and emotional person. I hope you can handle it ^^.) ♥️

- 🎄

i adore sweet, little bookworms! but even they need disciplined sometimes too.

i'd stand there for a long moment, arms crossed, just watching you. when you finally sense me and look up with those wide, guilty eyes, i'd tilt my head and say:

“…just one more chapter, you said.” i'd walk over, take the book from your hands, and close it with a soft snap.

“mommy went to bed expecting you to crawl in beside her… and instead i find you being a naughty, selfish reader who can’t listen. what am i going to do with you, hm?”

i'd set the book aside and pull you up from the chair. in one smooth motion, i'd sit down and tug you face-down over my lap. i'd push your sleep shirt up and slide your panties down your thighs, exposing your bare bottom.

“you’re going to learn that when i say it’s bedtime, it’s bedtime.”

i'd start spanking you. firm, deliberate smacks that echo in the quiet room. i'd want you to feel every single one. between spanks i'd rub your warm skin and speak softly:

“too absorbed in your silly book to remember who you belong to?” spank “does that pretty pussy get wetter when you’re being bad?”

once your ass is nice and pink, i'd slide my hand between your thighs and find you soaked, just like i knew you would be. i'd chuckle lowly and start stroking your slick folds.

“look at this… dripping all over mommy’s fingers while i punish you. such a filthy little thing.”

i'd keep you over my lap, fingering you slow and deep while i scold you gently, occasionally landing another sharp smack on your sore bottom when you squirm too much.

only when you’re a desperate mess would i finally lean down and whisper against your ear:

“mommy’s going to carry you to bed now… and you’re going to make it up to me with your mouth between my legs until i’m satisfied. understood?”

[pr3ttypunisherr]

it’s always been important to me to make sure you feel safe first. before anything else. before my hands go anywhere. i need you to feel safe. that’s the whole foundation. everything else comes after.

i’m not going to reach for you before you’re ready. i’m just going to be here. present. calm. a soft place to land after whatever the day did to you. and i want you to take your time getting here. take your shoes off. put your bag down. let the door close behind you and just… breathe. you don’t have to be okay yet. you don’t have to be anything yet.

when you’re ready.. i’ll be right here.

and when you do find me, i’m going to open my arms and let you decide how close you want to be. if you want to be held i’ll hold you. if you want to sit beside me and just feel someone nearby i can do that too. if you need a minute before you can even be touched i have that minute. i have all of them. there’s nowhere else i need to be, except here with you.

and if you let me hold you i’m going to do it properly. both arms. your face against my neck or my chest or wherever feels right. i’m just going to let you feel me. let you feel that someone has you. that you don’t have to hold yourself together right now because i’m doing that. i’ve got you.

i’m going to stroke your hair. your back. slow and repetitive and completely without agenda. the kind of touch that isn’t asking for anything. that’s just saying i’m here. you’re safe. i’ve got you. over and over without words until your body starts to believe it.

and i’m going to wait.. i’m good at waiting. i’m going to wait until i feel your shoulders drop. until your breathing slows down and evens out. until the grip you have on my shirt loosens because you’re not holding on for dear life anymore. you’re just holding on because it feels good to. because you want to.

that might take ten minutes. it might take an hour. it doesn’t matter. we have so much time.

and while we’re there i might talk softly. just the sound of a voice that isn’t asking anything of you. that’s just there keeping you company while you come back to yourself. and you don’t have to respond. you don’t have to do anything except be here.

at some point i’m going to press a kiss to your hair. and then another one to your forehead. slow. like i have all the time in the world to be gentle with you. because i do.

and my hands are going to keep moving. your back. your sides. your arms. slow and warm and learning you. touching you like you’re worth being touched this carefully. because you are. you always have been. even on the days you forget it.

and somewhere in there you might start to soften in a different way. something shifting from comfort to wanting. and that’s okay. that’s so okay. your body is allowed to want things. you’re allowed to want things. there’s nothing wrong with that and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

if that happens i’m going to follow your lead. completely. whatever pace you set is the pace we move at. if you reach for me i’ll be there. if you want to go slow we go slow. if you want to stop at any point we stop. no questions. no disappointment. just. whatever you need.

and if it does go further i’m going to keep that same gentleness. that same care. i’m not going to change on you. the hands that were stroking your hair are the same hands that touch you now. nothing gets rougher or faster or more urgent unless you want it to. we can stay soft the whole way through. we can stay in this same warmth.

i’m going to check in with you. are you okay? still with me? how does that feel? because i want to know. because your experience matters to me. because this isn’t just about what i want. it’s about making sure you feel good. feel safe. feel like yourself. feel like someone who deserves to be taken care of.

and after… whatever after looks like. i’m going to hold you again. bring you water. pull the blanket up. press a kiss to your forehead and mean every single part of it.

you deserve someone who takes their time with you like this. who doesn’t rush you or push you or make you feel like you have to perform. who lets you be exactly where you are and meets you there.

i hope you know that.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​