Bullseye

Random thoughts of the eyes that stay wide awake

[nocturnalfrenzy]

[liesandnights]

When anybody says "I love you," but my 15 year old self wrote:

"Please, hold me. I want to greet death in the warmth of your arms and cremated in the flame of your love."

[nocturnalfrenzy]

WE

'You' and 'me' or 'We' what shall it be?

Beyond the noise of the city,

Beyond the spurious masks,

It’s 'Us' in front of the universe’s tasks.

In the process I hope you find 'you' in 'me' and I find 'me' in 'you’.

[nocturnalfrenzy]

Eyes into distance

Beyond lot a resistance

Without any assistance 

With a lot of hesitance 

After facing penance

Are we sure everything is not pretence?

[nocturnalfrenzy]

[nocturnalfrenzy]

She found him in a prime stage of life,

He found her in a den of denial of life.

He was a river of free will, going left and right,

She was ocean tossing away whatever didn't sit right.

He thought they would make an estuary of peace,

But she took her as a rock in her space of ease.

He made love to her, showering with all he could give,

While he f**ked her, his life got f**ked.

[nocturnalfrenzy]

So near yet so far

A bird came and sat on my void branch,

Autumn had taken my leaves away.

Still I didnt perish I stood tall and majestic,

Waiting for summer to make its way.

Summer was far away when the bird flew my way,

my branch, roots and stem felt an internal sway.

A beating heart on my branch made me alive,

Even though my void made it seem the other way.

It's chirpy nature doused me as honeybees covers it's hive,

I didnt have a voice but so many things I wanted to say.

You, Stranger came and perched on me,

Your presence took my void away.

Can you stay back for few more days?

As I thought to myself how can I make her stay,

She saw another void branch and silently flew away.

-A.D

[nocturnalfrenzy]

A child searches happiness 😊

Happiness o happiness where do you hide?

Are you behind a lot of money and pride?

Happiness do you leave alone or you have company?

Or are you alone sitting below my balcony?

Happiness are you friends with sadness?

Or are you enemies?

Happiness is the answer to this questions we could never find,

It is a sense of fulfillment that warms you and makes you kind.

Happiness is seeing the rain droplets after the hot season.

It comes to us in various shape or form without any reason.

Happiness is a friend or stranger based on how we treat, if we chase him he stays away,

If we stop chasing he might suprise us in various ways.

Happiness stays with us always,

We just need to stop the search outside and find within ourselves.

[nocturnalfrenzy]

Is Brokeback Mountain a True Story?

Brokeback Mountain directed by Taiwanese director Ang Lee saw the theatres in the year 2005. Primarily, a romantic-drama set in old west theme introduces us to two American cowboys Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar; the story takes us through their terrain like lives after they meet in 1963 while working as sheep herders on pastures of Brokeback Mountain. The film keeping their relationship at its core threads various phases of Jack and Ennis lives as they ride ahead. The depiction of Homosexuals in a Homophobic society makes it first one of its kind.

Ang Lee won his first Academy Award as Best Director for this movie. Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger gave two brilliant performances in their respective roles each demanding attention when on-screen, the cast also consisted names like Anne Hathaway, Michelle Willaims, David Harbour, Kate Mara.

Is Brokeback Mountain based on a true story?

The technically correct answer to this question would be a ‘NO’, the movie was adapted from a short story penned by Pulitzer fame American novelist Annie Proulx, the screenplay being written by Larry McMurty and Diana Ossana.

Fictionally the story is about these two characters and their love and journey of twenty years from 1963 to 1983 but it in actuality it’s the untold stories of all those Jack and Ennis that really existed in the fog of homophobic society.

In the early 1960s to late 1990s homosexuality was dangerous notion to have in U.S, several hate crimes that occurred in these times are the alibi of the aforementioned statement until 2003 when Lawrence vs Texas case brought a change in the laws. Jack and Ennis discover each other sexually, emotionally on Brokeback Mountain in Wyoming and keep seeing each other secretly in the name of fishing trips to hide from everyone. Duality in their lives makes the viewer a part of their journey since many of us live in duality, they prioritize responsibilities over love. Each of two leads get married to a woman but finding them in the want of each other’s company; the excitement in the body language and eyes of characters when they meet tells us all we need to know. Each of characters have different stands; Jack being more confident wants to have a life with Ennis divorcing his wife whereas Ennis even though divorced is afraid of the thorns of society they live in. In one scene Ennis says “If this things grabs hold of us again in wrong place, wrong time, then we are dead” all the while thinking about the thought process of his late homophobic father.

As the story rolls ahead both of them finds it difficult to maintain their dual lives showing the frustration and fits of rage in various altercations they have, both Jack and Ennis are distanced from their respective wives. Even through the tough times their love and emotional connection stays strong but they are not able live it to fullest. They live of the moments they spent together in Brokeback Mountain as Jack mentions aptly in a scene “All we have is Brokeback Mountain”. Since Brokeback Mountain stays as only standing proof of their relationship. The sexuality of the characters take a side seat while the film focuses on the mental struggle a homosexual person went through in those times.

The grounded and mature depiction of homosexual characters brings it more close to reality. In popular culture gay men are imagined of possessing flamboyant characteristics and being effeminate but in this film the characters don’t clad any of this colorful traits. So it seems Jack and Ennis could be anywhere or anyone hiding from the mindset of our social structure of this world we all belong to willingly or unwillingly. Once Ennis gets the knowledge about Jack’s death is taken aback and imagines him getting killed in the same way his father had described killing a homosexual person. This imagination of his brings forth the fear Ennis had in him throughout the story. The screenplay keeps the viewer guessing the validity of his imagination hence asking ourselves whether he died because of a hate crime or an accident, sadly the former option seeming more probable. In broader spectrum answering the big question that even though the film is fictional the building blocks are picked from reality of many homosexual men in those time periods.

[nocturnalfrenzy]

You left me behind but your words stayed back,

To realise the essence of our moments I was too laid back.

The dried roses, the folded pages of diary tells your story now when you have become history.

[nocturnalfrenzy]

All we have?

Nearing 30 not a big Bank balance, not a high paying job, not having a girlfriend, did not find a purpose; is that all?

Waking up everyday, seeing the sun, feeling the air, having friends who are there in pain and fun, having mom dad and sister who are there for you no matter what, isn't that happiness after all?

We search for whatever we don't have and in process forget to cherish what exists now. All we have may not be everything but is more than enough ❤️

Happy Earth Day... Be thankful for existing here and now. Thats the basic minimum we can do for this life.

[nocturnalfrenzy]

Seen or not?

You see, I see, We see, what do we see?

Do we actually see or act to do so?

What we see or whom we see is it really happening or it all just our imagination because we are programmed to see that only whats in front but not what's inside.

I guess when we learn seeing inside we achieve the meaning of life.

[nocturnalfrenzy]

Why does Amy go back to Nick at the End of Gone Girl? Theories

Director David Fincher’s tenth directorial venture ‘Gone Girl’ is a psychological thriller released in 2014, adapted from novel of the same name written by Gillian Flynn, who also wrote the screenplay. Nick going through a tumultuous marriage comes home to find his wife Amy has gone missing on the day of their fifth anniversary. The story revolves around the mystery behind missing wife and unraveling Nick and Amy’s psyche. A “cult classic” Gone Girl like any other David Fincher’s explores the complexities of human psyche as the story unfolds gradually. As the question takes us to the end of the movie, we need go through the rollercoaster ride taken by the character Amy throughout the plot to get the answer. Keep reading, let’s find out the answers together. Spoilers Ahead!

What happens to Amy?

Before walking in the territory of theories let’s talk about Amy Elliot Dunne. The film narrative picks up from the point view of Amy through her diary entries. We know how Nick changed after marriage and assaulted her for wanting a child, sympathy sides with Amy automatically. Nick’s absence of empathy also pushes the viewer in favour of Amy. We are made to feel bad for her only to discover she planned her missing fiasco. On top of that making it look like a murder and incriminate Nick. The knot of plot opens showing us the elaborate plan Amy sketched to teach Nick a lesson for being unfaithful and making her feel unwanted. Amy is educated, beautiful, psychopathic and manipulative person who would go to any ends for fulfilling her needs. She takes us from feeling bad for her to feeling bad for people around her.

She mentions about her two sides initially in the film when she speaks about ‘Amazing Amy’ a character her parents created, a perfect Amy in all sense; other side of psychopathic, controlling, narcissist not so ‘Amazing Amy’. The real Amy shows all the traits of Munchausen Syndrome and quite possibly Borderline personality syndrome. Amy Elliot had put on a mask of a ‘cool girl’ as she mentions to make herself suitable for Nick when she met him. After marriage she sees Nick growing apart from her which slowly yet steadily pushes her to remove the façade of Amazing Amy and planning a revenge on her ‘clueless’ husband. So the amazing Amy is ‘Gone’ and the real Amy takes her place. She puts Nick’s unfaithfulness as the reason for her treatment towards him which is similar to psychopaths justifying their actions. According to her plan she decides to commit suicide bringing a closure to her intention of putting Nick behind bar but narcissism takes over and she doesn’t go ahead stating “Why should I die?”

While staying in a motel few days after making she is missing to the public eye her money gets stolen forcing to reach Desi Collings for help. She uses manipulation as her weapon to find her way yet again but soon her intentions change as Nick apologizes on television. She plots her way back to Nick by the end of film remorselessly killing Desi in the process.

Why does Amy go back to Nick at the End of Gone Girl?

Initial intention of Amy comprises of getting back at Nick for cheating on her and mistreating her. She goes to cunning, vicious lengths and meticulous planning to make all that happen as we see unravel in the second half of the film. Henceforth the question arises ‘why she goes back Nick?’ especially after all that efforts she put to get away from him.

The turning point comes when Amy sees Nick on television apologizing for all his wrong doing, she realizes this charismatic Nick is the one whom she was attracted to when they met. She wants that Nick in her life and so decides to go back to him. This is one of simplest reason on the surface of story. In actuality one cannot help but imagine what Amy’s intentions are because she is a puzzle. It possibly could be she wants Nick to be under her palm and tailor-make him a perfect husband material in accordance to her will. The screenplay leaves a clue about this too when Amy gifts Nick a ‘robot dog’ for anniversary which tells she wants him faithful like a dog and under her control like a robot, the controlling side of Amy is shown throughout the film confirming theory. Secondly, she truly believes in the notion Nick and her made for each other in some twisted way. She also says to him “I killed for you. Who else can say that?” The validity of this theory lies in how she plans her pregnancy in the hopes of starting a family and extorting Nick to stay with her. Eventually Nick decides to stay with her much to the surprise of his sister. One more theory as she says herself “I am not a quitter” and she wants give this marriage a chance. But the movie ends Nick asks the same questions as the start only this time “What have we done to each other? What will we do?” seems to be launched towards the viewer and everyone can reach their own conclusions.

[nocturnalfrenzy]

206 bones in our body and still heart breakS make more noise. Why??

A. D

[nocturnalfrenzy]

The storm that changed my life✨