Honestly, Why

This blog doesn't stick to any one thing except having a good time so check it out while you're here if you want

[free-range-tiddies]

Can't believe Peter Griffin really tried it.

[video-store-clerk]

Ok but I'd the second dude like...a vampire? Because my straight ass is bewitched.

[gamebiadvance]

[Transcript:

(the first person has text over them that says "being fat and wanting a girlfriend")

First person: "See what's behind this door..!"

(Door has text over it that says "fat girls" while The Toccata and Fugue in D minor plays in the background)

First person: "Noo, is there a bett-"

Second person: " Yo it's funny that there's an entire demographic, of petite women who love bigger men. But because you've just ousted yourself, as a cunt, it's never gonna happen for you mate. You're really out here body shaming, all these beautiful shawties, big body Bugatti (kiss noise), exquisite; but you're built like a less cool Bling Bling Boy from Johnny Test. Make it make sense mate. It doesn't- it really doesn't. Could've kept your mouth shut. But you had to say something. And you even went so far as to put it on the internet. And you thought that was a good idea because-? Please, take yourself elsewhere. Sincerely the entire fucking human race."

End transcript.]

[thunderboltsortofapenny]

The moment that man started speaking -

[zetrystan]

Technically true.

[zetrystan]

He got the job.

[zetrystan]

He takes his job seriously.

[bathroomcube]

hey remember how awhile back i mentioned that tiktok has a whole trend where people mix cleaning supplies well i redownloaded tiktok so im finally able to show you what i mean

[diet-soap]

I put my bare hands in this sink and get a chemical burn so bad it oozes and bubbles nonstop for days

[bathroomcube]

i have GREAT news for you

[riseofthedruids]

potion of cough up blood

[hottiewitabloggie]

people are so fucking stupid oh my god

[tami-taylors-hair]

Cleaning TikTok: We’ve mixed the perfect cleaning solution! 

Everyone Else: You’ve created mustard gas is what you’ve done. Your lungs look like you’ve just returned from the Western Front. 

[ferrousferrule]

Jesus fucking christ. One time I accidentally mixed an ammonia scrub and a bleach spray and gave myself a migraine in 15 minutes how the fuck are they even still standing.

[thickness-protection-program]

[sunrisedespair]

Time for a health and safety lesson.

See below for a chart on what household cleaners to NEVER EVER MIX EVER OR YOU CAN (AND WILL PROBABLY) DIE OR OTHERWISE BECOME EXTREMELY FUCKED UP AND NOT IN A FUN WAY BUT IN THE HOSPITAL AND/OR GRAVEYARD WAY:

The above is not a complete list, but these are extremely common in most households and therefore are the most likely chemical fuck-ups to occur. 

DO NOT MIX HOUSEHOLD CHEMICALS. 

DO NOT MIX CLEANING AGENTS.

DO NOT MIX CERTAIN ASTRINGENTS. (HYDROGEN PEROXIDE IS OFTEN IN FIRST AID KITS OR WOUND SPRAYS AND CAN CAUSE A REACTION IN SMALL AMOUNTS IF MIXED WITH THINGS IT SHOULD NOT BE MIXED WITH EVEN ACCIDENTALLY ON A SURFACE ETC.) 

DO NOT MIX ANY CHEMICALS THAT YOU ARE NOT 100% SURE ARE SAFE TO MIX. (SPOILER: MOST THINGS ARE NOT REALLY SAFE TO MIX AND SOMETIMES COMBINING SAFE ONES ACTUALLY MAKES THEM LESS EFFECTIVE ANYWAY, SO JUST DON’T COMBINE THIS KIND OF SHIT!) 

YOU ARE PROBABLY NOT A CHEMIST. PLEASE DO NOT TURN YOUR KITCHEN/BATHROOM/HOME INTO A LAB ACCIDENT. 

IF YOU ARE A CHEMIST, YOU SHOULD STILL NOT FUCK AROUND. MANY OF YOU DO NOT RELIABLY USE YOUR SAFETY GOGGLES OR THE CORRECT TYPE OF SAFETY GOGGLES. (IF YOU’RE THE TYPE OF CHEMIST WHO DOESN’T ENSURE ADEQUATE VENTILATION IN YOUR WORK AREA, I WILL NOT TRUST YOU WITH BLEACH. COMPLACENCY KILLS.) 

CONCLUSION: STOP MIXING CHEMICALS! 

YOU ARE NOT PROFESSOR X, AND YOU WILL NOT END UP CREATING THE POWERPUFF GIRLS. 

YOU WILL ONLY CREATE A NEW INVOICE FOR YOUR LOCAL FUNERAL HOME. 

I AM YELLING AT YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO BE SAFE.

TO ANY DUMBASS TEENAGERS OUT THERE, I WANT YOU TO SURVIVE LONG ENOUGH TO BECOME DUMBASS ADULTS. 

PLEASE DO NOT DIE.

[wickedwonderlandd]

The fumes from this vid burned all the hair off my body,melted my skin, and then killed me t.f

[lonelyassassin96]

Hey, this actually very useful information to have if you are a kid or otherwise don’t know.

[bettsplendens]

I feel like the “may cause death” part on that chart needs to be majorly bigger. The descriptions of the first two sound like they’d be unpleasant, but “unpleasant” doesn’t cut it. Needs to have a way bigger “THIS IS HOW THEY KILLED PEOPLE IN WARS BEFORE IT WAS OUTLAWED” warning. 

[alphacrone]

me at age 13: this character’s my favorite because they’re really cool and capable and the smartest person ALIVe, obviously

me now: this character is the dumbest person in the entire fucking universe. they’re so stupid. i would die for them.

[alphacrone]

everyone commenting on this saying “it’s the same character” is incredibly valid

[roach-works]

turns out teenage heroes hit real different when you’re old enough that you could conceivably ground them

[last-fast-naturalist]

[instructor144]

BOOST.

[catchymemes]

[thebindingbird]

HORF

[pixelsmasher]

Oh my fucking ribs.

[from-your-ashes]

this is clearly a case of a dog being reincarnated in the wrong body

[agapantoblu]

All this site ever talks about are Italian Grandmas, where’s the appreciation for my Italian Found Grandpas?

[agapantoblu]

I got two neighbours in their 70s and 80s respectively and they’ve both taken a wild interest in my orchard because they both used to plant stuff and now they’re living vicariously through mine, checking on progress, helping out, trying to teach me stuff except most of the time they have wildly different opinions on how to spot bastard branches on tomato plants and I’m living for the drama

[agapantoblu]

We were plowing the field today when one of them asked me why I didn’t have a boyfriend when I’m already 25 and I went “Men are trouble”, you know, like a lesbian, and he just stopped for a second, thought then dipped his hat. “Now, that is true” where else would I get this?

[agapantoblu]

Update, Found Grandpas now planning my future marriage like an heist.

“You like fieldwork, you need to marry the son of a landowner. Lots of land, lots of cultivation. Done! You’re set for life!”

“But he must be dumb.”

“Oh yeah, dumb like a wood plank. So dumb you can do whatever you want.”

“And get the land.”

“And get the land!”

[agapantoblu]

You know what? Bisexual farmer marries landowner himbo is the happy ending I deserve

[guitarbeard]

Guy who hates magic so much, I mean absolutely fucking detests it with all his heart, that it just has no effect when used on him

[guitarbeard]

"Magic is fucking stupid, you've gotta be the lamest dork alive to use it" *Wizard on the verge of tears after failing 8 consecutive times to cast a lightning bolt on this guy* "No it's.... no it's not...."

[ampervadasz]

[smitty-mouse]

You need this. You don’t know it yet, but you do.

[guerrillatech]

[saint-batrick]

it's a trap. if someone in the states on unemployment puts in an application and doesn't come to the interview, or if they come to the interview but refuse the job offer, that gets reported to unemployment and that person can lose their unemployment benefits. then, with no income, they are suddenly desperate for wendy's job offer. it's sick.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

They’re also filtering for people poor and desperate enough that a free breakfast sandwich is a big deal. Ie, people desperate enough to easily exploit.

[stabbyflower]

Protip: if you're not on unemployment, this is a great way to waste the time and resources of these companies.

Sure, I'll turn in a job app for a sammich. I won't leave my job for it, but they don't gotta know that, do they?

[icrangirl]

Applebee’s is doing this too. Be careful out there and don’t fall for this shit.

[succubusboyfriend]

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

[succubusboyfriend]

ranibow sprimkle……..

[cr0wswithknives]

kepchup.

[cosmicyeehaw]

SPINCH

[oli-nerd]

B A N C H

[scoobertdoobertlove]

chichen nuggest

[yondus-wife]

b R o G L e

[borzboy]

strawbebbies..

[siriuslymeg]

mAeShMoLoWa

[ottermatopoeia]

🌠sprimps🌠

[templepriest-motherfucker]

Say it with me folks:

“Eat the rich” means 1%ers and billionaires

middle class is closer to poverty than being a multimillionaire

“The rich” does NOT include children of billionaires (come on we’re at least slightly better than the plagues of Egypt)

Upper middle class children SHOULD NOT feel guilt over having money

Being aware of privilege and using your privilege to help others IS NOT a guilt trip

Constantly feeling guilty helps no one

Billionaires, however, should feel guilty over hoarding wealth.

Upper middle class is NOT rich

Black Lives Matter

Trans rights are human rights

[kelila-rivka]

My uncle was one of the top surgeons in the country. He was upper middle class definitely. When he got cancer, his insurance didn’t cover all the treatments he would need and after 5 years he drained his savings on cancer treatments (while still working most of that time) and eventually died because he couldn’t afford the expensive treatments that might have saved him.

If you are upper middle class and you get sick, it will likely bankrupt your family. It’s fucked.

[olddukeofficial]

For all of the idiots in the notes ^

[dancinbutterfly]

Honest to god - even if you make 6 figures a year? you're closer to poverty than true wealth. Check your shit and remember who your real allies and enemies are guys.

[uvradical]

A 6 figure income is a lot right? That’s say: 223,000 dollars a year Which is 112 dollars an hour. Most people would consider that upper middle class. That’s enough money to have a nice house, go on fun vacations. That’s slight more than the average doctor makes.

223,000 dollars is what Jeff Bezo makes in a minute

the well-off and the rich are not the same. 

[thegenderal]

Heres your semiregular reminder that opal is one of the worst possible gemstones for engagement rings and tumblr posts about how pretty opals are and how diamonds are bullshit and we should all wear opal rings are not actually well informed or your friends

[thegenderal]

@sirfoggybrain Of course!

So opals, as we all know, are gorgeous stones

I will at no point deny that, theyre stunning and look different from every angle and in every lighting, the plays of color are insane, and they can be used to make beautiful jewelry, including, unfortunately, engagement rings. Which then have the tedency to do what opals do best, which is break and chip

The problem with opals is their position on the mohs hardness scale: they are a 5.5 to a 6.5. This in on par with glass. You can break one of these with glass or a knife or any piece of metal. The woman on the left broke hers by accidentally knocking it against her desk. Engagement rings are meant to be worn every day, and they are worn on your hands, which are high contact body parts. Opals cannot properly hold up to everyday use, and will become damaged unless you are lucky. It is, in my opinion, best not to risk it- this is a special ring, your forever ring, an object that meant to be worn daily and symbolizes your love and is, if worst comes to worst, something to hawk if you are desperate for cash to continue to live. You do not want it to break. Moonstone- which is another one i see recommended a lot- is the same way. Engagement rings are special. I would not ever in good conscience be able to recommend something that fragile to be someones forever ring.

Diamonds are not recommended just because of the diamond industry (which is bad, i agree! Please make sure your diamond is ethical if you chose to get one, and my personal opinion is that lab made is better) but because they are the most durable stone out there. You cant break your diamond.

Theres nothing wrong with wanting a colorful, flashy engagement ring, but an opal is not the stone for you. You want a gemstone that is an 8+ on the hardness scale- so stones like emeralds (if youre careful with it!), rubies, sapphires (which come in all sorts of colors), moissanite (typically white, but with twice the fire and brilliance of a diamond), morganite, colored diamonds, and alexandrite are all good choices. Alexandrite even changes colors depending on lighting!

TL;DR: opals are too soft and fragile for an engagement ring. Get opal necklace instead, and pick a tougher stone for your engagement ring.

[sew-birb]

Topaz is also 8 on the Mohs scale, and Aquamarine is the same stone as Emerald but in a different colour. Both are also worth considering!

[xxtc-96xx]

What are your thoughts on this?

bruh Mewtwo knows what’s up 

[oneechangoddess]

Mewtwo made the right choice

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

That time he chucked Mewtwo into a lake

[peepingnee]

What anxiety? I have CHEEKBONES!

[lurlur]

I think I'm in love?

[sevdrag]

a real american hero

[bandomfandombeyond]

He's canadian

[fred-erick-frankenstein]

[A Tiktok by "marcusterritory".

Text transcription:

I must put on makeup. Fellow men, join me.

Primer!

A lot of foundation, unlike my mental health.

Blend thoroughly. As you do so try not to think about the fact that no one will see you putting on makeup, so why does it matter.

And the boys will never want to kiss you no matter how attractive you are.

Expect maybe they will if your skin looks this flawless.

Concealer, like the sadness, obviously.

Hide the redness of your eyes! Powder!

Feel the strength of the knights of history as you blend!

Those manly men never went into battle without a full face of makeup on under their helmets. Prove me wrong (all caps)!

Where is the sadness? It's not here, gentlemen.

Bronzer (all caps, several 'z's and 'r's).

Are your cheekbones sunk into your face? No, they're strong and mighty and could support a family (all caps).

Blend!

Your eyebrows are a garden that needs pruning.

Flawless (all caps).

Fill in your manly beard!

Set, spray!

What anxiety? I have cheekbones (all caps)! /end description].

[adultingrefs]

Critical detail: when he plucks a single eyebrow hair he goes "ow, shit, fuck, god--" while dropping the tweezers lmfao

[philosoverted-deactivated202006]

Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is

[systlin]

Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.

[gallusrostromegalus]

His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.

[filthyprotozoan]

gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther

[hubris-i]

#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"

[fridge246]

tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc. 

wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades

[jemthecrystalgem]

Sorry it’s what to elves

[dvandom]

So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth).  But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven.  To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk.  So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.

[endreal]

Legolas said fuck the horizon

[mothergeekness]

[sighinastorm]

Anastasia wasn’t a Disney movie.  Saying it is now, simply because Disney bought Fox, is creatively anachronistic.   Don Bluth didn’t fight in the animation trenches and escape the clutches of The Mouse to have his work artistically misattributed.  I’m not dying on this hill.  I’m defending this hill.  I’m killing on this hill.