Things Not to Do in a Cemetery
By someone who works at one.Â
Please donât leave glass items on your loved oneâs grave. I understand the urge, really I do. But those vases/picture frames/beer bottles/fancy solar lights/etc are gonna break eventually, and be a pain in the ass for everyone involved.Â
Different cemeteries have different regulations when it comes to whatâs allowed in the park and whatâs not, and some are more lenient than others about enforcing those regulations. If youâre not sure, ask someone who works there.
If you put up tiny plastic fences and solar lights and garden decorations around your loved oneâs space it will probably be removed at some point bc yâall⊠The grounds crew needs to mow the grass. And some of that stuff is probably technically against the rules anyways, but everyoneâs trying to be nice about it.Â
Do not sit on or lean against any of the markers or memorials. They may all be made of granite, but the upright ones will flop right over if you push them hard enough, and if the ground is wet the flats will sink into the dirt. Also itâs fucking rude. If someone sees you sitting on their momâs headstone, they might just kick your ass.Â
Decorations around a grave will be removed if they are broken, or if a grave side service/ burial is going to take place nearby. We do need to bring heavy machinery in to dig graves, and for outside services there are also tents and chairs laid out. If you notice the decorations have been disturbed, itâs probably not vandalism BUT if youâre not sure, it never hurts to ask.Â
I personally donât care if you want to place food or drink on your loved oneâs grave. Itâs very common. But if you complain about ants all over the headstone, and I go out to see that itâs because you left a whole ass packet of oreos and an open six pack of corona, Iâm not gonna be impressed or happy. Like Iâll be nice about it, but I will think youâre a dumbass.Â
If the cemetery allows you to bring pets into the park, thatâs great. Thatâs chill. Please pick up after them. No one likes to see a big pile of dog shit in the middle of the cremation garden.Â
Do not fuck in the cemetery. I swear to fucking god. Donât even make out in the cemetery. You shouldnât be doing that shit in public anyways. I donât care about your morbid goth fetish. Some grandma is going to see you getting frisky next to her sonâs grave, and beat you to death with her purse and the ten pounds of silk floral arrangements she brought to place there.
Donât be afraid to visit. We want these parks to be a place where you can both mourn and celebrate the person who died. I regularly see families who have picnics out there, especially on holidays. If you havenât visited in a while and arenât sure where your loved one is, ask someone on staff. Itâs our job to help you find them, and no one is going to judge you for visiting for the first time in like 10 years.Â
