@noisytummy - Tumblr Blog

Posts

lohboh

Posts that Tumblr will blaze:

• Blatant NSFW that breaks community guidelines

• Christian proselytizing

• Vent posts

Posts that Tumblr won't blaze:

• Spoilers for a shitty game that lines a transphobe's pockets

transarsonist

🔥All Organic Blaze It Is Then🔥

battlecrazed-axe-mage

milf-source

(source)

i-enjoy-too-many-things

Anyways if ryan johnson decides to create a knives - out- benoit -blanc franchise james bond-style in which every movie is one murder mystery with a fun twist and rich people getting fucked, and that becomes a cult classic and every few years they recast benoit blanc (as if anyone could ever come close to daniel craig) to continue making movies I just wanna say that not only I would watch all of them, I would become the number one fan. My grandchildren will hear about how I watched the first movie in theaters

venlo

you can't tell me I'm wrong

themo-themo

Currently watching Wednesday.

charminglyantiquated

hey guys can you help me find that old portrait of a girl holding a little painting of a naked dude and cracking up about it?? I want to say it’s by Rembrandt but that’s probably not right

runwildwithme

It’s “Smiling Girl, a Courtesan, Holding an Obscene Image” by Gerard van Honthorst!!

charminglyantiquated

It’s the best painting that exists

earhartsease

I don’t know about you, but I really want to know what’s written on there - wait, I found a higher res image, can anyone translate this?

also it’s kind of an amazing little vignette

kipplekipple

Hahahaa

Okay it says “who knows my arse from behind” and I will never recover from this

probablynotcavolo

OKAY— so i LOVE this painting, it’s in the St. Louis Art Museum, and on a tour i found out the story. it’s not a naked dude, at all. It’s actually a smaller depiction of her, she’s a sex worker! She’s showing off her advertising for her services. It’s a really cool historical example of sex work, and a gorgeous painting to see in person.

sew-birb

So that grin is her going:

“That’s me!!”

apokrify

THIS DRAWING WAS MADE 700 YEARS AGO BY A 7-YEARS-OLD BOY NAMED ONFIM WHO LIVED IN NOVOGROD.

oarfjsh

zvaigzdelasas

more of onfime’s drawings:

zybilna

Its honestly so funny how people who are mourning the queen's death are so pigshit stupid that they end up saying shit thats wayyyy more tasteless than all of the normal people making fun of her.

zybilna

Mcdonalds putting up a branded menu variant about her funeral, some sextoy website having a funeral banner up, her funeral footage accidentally capitalizing the words "Among Us", crossfit including a minute of silence in their daily workout plan, people lining up for 30 hours to go look at a box that maybe has a corpse in it, Guantanamo bay putting the mcdonalds flag at half mast, the royal family fanblogs posting sad bitmojis and the thomas jefferson miku binder artist seriously arguing that she's gonna reincarnate as a horse are all infinitely funnier forms of mockery than I'd ever be able to come up with

zybilna

@pleasetangerines

marisatomay

the mcu is the “the curtains are just blue” of cinematic experiences

marisatomay

my apologies you’re absolutely correct

crazy-brazilian

whencartoonsruletheworld

i’m obsessed with how disney’s animated canon this year like. on paper it all seems like surefire basic disney hits, and then they all just went fucking insane. and disney execs must be so pissed bc they have no idea how to market this shit

like luca could’ve been a generic friendship story but the creators were like “nope! we’re going for a hardcore ghibli vibe, oppression metaphor that’s gonna resonate with a TON of people*, and FUCK around with animation as MUCH AS WE CAN. it’s gonna be like. little mermaid but with two lil gay boys and their awkward sweaty friend and it’s a found family let’s goooo.” it’s SUPER stylized in appearance in a way that disney/pixar doesn’t normally experiment on and we all fucking loved it. also all the gays attach themselves to it immediately

* before y’all say so in the notes, i know the director said it wasn’t intentional, but like. the grandma’s speech at the end… someone knew what they were doin regardless of whether or not they told disney

and then like. raya and encanto. disney execs must’ve been pumped to drop two disney princess movies in one year, that’s like. supposed to be infinite money!!

but raya drops first and it’s the first disney animated action film since… atlantis? i think atlantis. and thus it has vastly different pacing than what a disney audience is used to, hardcore fight scenes, etc., but the message of the film overall is “even if some people suck, we shouldn’t give up on humanity as a whole because we can still rebuild our world together” which is WILD for a kids’ movie and also smth we kinda need and THEN like. you can tell from the early merch drops they expected everyone to want plushies of the cute animals + the dragon, cause they marketed sisu and the animals the most, with maybe “funny kid” boun second to them? and then the movie drops and everyone wants merch of namaari, the “antagonist” who definitely does not fit the stereotypical Disney Princess Look™ and also everyone is convinced she and raya are gay, including raya’s voice actress, so the queerphobic execs have gotta be pissed about that but what are they gonna do?? yell at kelly marie tran? they know for a fact they OWE her for the shit they pulled with star wars and if they do anything else the fanbase will fucking slaughter them

and then!!! encanto!! so they’re like “well raya was outside of our comfort zone, luca was pushing it a little with the stylism and more relaxed vibe, but encanto is our normal disney movie!! it’s a musical with a marketable disney princess, she’s gonna be the cute awkward one of the lineup” but it’s SO funny how it all went down!!! i was super interested in encanto before the drop and i can tell u, all the merch was banking on “cute animal kid” antonio and “pretty princess” isabela being the popular ones. there was mirabel merch ofc but there was so much of antonio and isabela– plushies of antonio’s animals, a huge playset of isabela’s beautiful pink flower room, etc. they learned a lil bit from namaari that their audience likes buff women and so released a couple dolls of luisa but definitely not as many. 100% did not expect the rest of the fam to be that popular.

AND THEN!! encanto drops and yes, it’s a disney musical, but all the songs are heavily story-driven and not really easy to throw on radio stations. the entire film is a look at how generational trauma impacts a family’s mental health, with the lesson being, for every member of the family, including mirabel, “you have to admit that you have a problem, recognize that other people have problems too, and then support each other.” it deals with forced displacement from armed conflict, something that is still hitting hard with colombians today as well as complex, not black-and-white family dynamics about how you can love someone with your whole heart and still unintentionally hurt them, and how forgiveness is possible if you admit wrongdoing and change your behavior

AND THEN!! not only is it a heavy movie for the disney franchise, the stuff the audience likes is baffling them. they expected people to want to buy toys for the cute animal kid and the perfect princess, but the internet is going INSANE over the rat uncle with like ten minutes of screentime tops. and the stuff everyone likes about isabela? is after she’s shed the mantle of perfect princess, and is tossing catci into the air and dying her hair and dress multiple colors. you could say they don’t merch bruno and post-transformation isabela atm bc spoilers, and yes, that tends to happen- queen anna and snow queen elsa didn’t get merch for a couple months. BUT again, they clearly expected everyone to want isabela because of her pink prettiness and instead everyone wants the deranged cacti sister!! AND TO ADD TO THAT, everyone is obsessed with the cousins that disney didn’t even think to market, you can only find merch of dolores and camilo in like, those bundles of tiny figures of the whole family, there are no dolls of dolores even with her marketable appearance and fancy dress, there’s even less of camilo, but everyone loves them so much!! they marketed luisa a little but not a ton and she’s super popular right now because of her relatability and different body type– which disney execs apparently did not want her to have and the creative team had to fight for. people talk nonstop about the 50yo adults, about how the couples are #goals and how the triplets’ dynamic must be,,,

AND THEN!! the songs that disney execs bank on. they know that their soundtracks will always sell bc they’re disney and they have mr hamilton himself making the music for this, and moana’s soundtrack was a hit so of course this will make them money. and it does!! but the songs that are making them money are not “the family madrigal,” which was heavily marketed, OR mriabel’s solo– the disney princess solo songs tend to be the most famous. it’s not even isabela’s song, which they must have thought would be a hit bc it’s very “let it go” and w/ the girl they expected everyone to love. INSTEAD, the songs EVERYONE IS PLAYING are “middle kid syndrome breakdown” and, a song that has hit more streams than “let it go,” “exposition dump sung by side characters that is called ‘FUCK this one guy in particular.’” and they have NO idea what to do with that!!! i follow disney music stuff on social media so that i know when to pirate it and they are confused as fuck! they’re just like “heeeey guys #fellowkids here’s a poll what’s your favorite line from ‘we don’t talk about bruno’” and then it’s just five random lines they grabbed from a bag, it’s so clear that they’re like “these aren’t #empowerment anthems like ‘let it go’ or calls to adventure like ‘into the unknown’ or ‘how far i’ll go’ it’s!!!! a mental breakdown and an exposition dump!!!! BOTH SUNG MY CHARACTERS WHO WE ARE NOT MARKETING! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PUT ON TSHIRTS”

and to top that!! they must have been like “there’s no ships in this movie the queers can’t possibly attach to this one” and then the wlw raced after luisa and everyone clung to isabela and bruno and pointed out the bi rainbow on mirabel’s dress and they must be pulling out their hair i wanna be a fly on the wall of the marketing meetings so badly

tl;dr Disney’s three animated films of this year must be driving Disney Execs FUCKING insane because they’re reasonably popular and well-received but for reasons they did not expect and they don’t know how to market them at all

marisatomay

“maybe the curtains are blue because the author just liked the color blue” set human critical thinking skills decades back

marisatomay

you get it

thekobrakiddo

i would rather die than think critically about some bullshit "metaphor" just say what you fucking mean don't be a little pussy who has to hide their words

kragehund-again

oh, sorry, of course sir, i have some books for you right here <3

degenerate-perturbation

Loki selfcest fine in theory but in practice they made girl Loki blonde and explicitly cisfem and not named Loki so that it would be less weird . Coward move. There should have been two tom hiddlestons kissing each other