FAULT: an SCP SBI AU @nomsfaultau - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
FAULT: an SCP SBI AU
@nomsfaultau
For the rejected and the monsters. Obligatory MCYT SCP story for Sleepy Bois Inc + Tubbo. A special interest that's consumed my brain utterly for over 4 years now. CookieNomNomCrunch on AO3. They/them 🐝
This is an au that has consumed me. This blog will just be a terrible mess of whatever I’m stuck on for the week, likely with little explanation and heavy spoilers. Anyway, the general vibe + anomalous properties are below cut:
Philza: The Zilant. Is the immortal concept of fire and fury, which pretends to be a dragon, which pretends to be a human. Maintains his personhood by attaching himself to mortals he calls his ‘Collected’. Currently: Tommy, Wilbur, The Blade, and Tubbo. Additionally, Philza is very intent on keeping any promise he makes and was kept in the Foundation exclusively because they’d captured his Collected and made a deal. Gives great dad advice, except when the advice is ‘let me murder them for you <3’
Tommy: The Instigator. Has a blood red liquid on his hands that grows when he’s scared. When people touch it, they become aggressive to anyone but Tommy. At low TI-Red levels this leads to things like bickering, but it escalates to physical violence and brutality. When TI-Red levels consume him and he thinks he’s going to die, he summons The Blade. Lived as a normal human and met Wil, Phil, and The Blade after a summoning at 15; visited the homeless guys occasionally till the Foundation captured at 16. Abandonment issues, highly touch starved, used as a Thaumiel. Collected Tubbo.
The Blade: The Blood God. Is a massive boar behemoth with voices in his head. When attacked (or if there’s an orphan), becomes The Blood God, who will bend the universe to ensure he wins. The Blade only comes back when the challenge has been completed. Grew up as a monster in the woods, but pulled himself up out of the voices, figured out what was him and what was The Blood God, and established his own personhood. Somehow has a college degree, met Phil and Wil during a gap year. Loves gardening and murdering people for Tommy. Also managed to come out of the Foundation the least traumatized, iconic.
Wilbur: Soot. [tags are noms Wilbur or scp Wilbur if you want to block] His legs magically rearrange so he is the tallest humanoid in the room. Oh also the void in the side of his face that eldritch abominations claw their way out of. Was basically a feral starving child till ~14 when Philza forcefully adopted him. A chronic insomniac with a heart of gold and a tongue of silver, held together despite the inherent contradictions between being a supreme survivalist and a drama hoe. Memory issues because he represses basically everything.
Tubbo: The Pollinator. Is a honeycomb skin suit for approximately 400,000 bees. Uses they/them we/us pronouns, because they are a Hive mind/system containing at least three humans: a Little, a Foundation employee, and a lawyer/farmer. Tubbo grew up mostly normal, albeit in secret. The most recently captured by the Foundation, and a staunch pacifist. This causes them to be at odds with Philza, who did a few murderous rampages too many, and The Blade, for the reason above and also because he destroyed their legs. But they stick around because they’re attached to Tommy.
Basic vibes are found family, hurt/comfort, questions of morality, and trauma at the hands of the Foundation and each other. Things get messy, but it’s all bound together with love at the end of the day.
All Nom commissions are prompt gifts for donations to charitable causes, such as the environment, social justice rights, or victims of wars. I will not cover topics of romance, sex, or write about George, Dream, or Wilbur.
Writing: Base 5$ gets a minimum of 300 words. 10$ 1,000 word minimum, 20$ 3,000. I also have no self-control, and there is no additional payment if the prompt is amazing and I break the world limit.
Drawing: Base 5$ gets a drawing in full color. 'Animatics' start at 40$ for a verse, and the price increases for color.
Project Guide
The tag 'crumbs to tide you over' is how I organize ficlets, wip sippets, and fic announcements. Personal tag is something to nom on. Wilbur tags are noms Wilbur or scp Wilbur if you want to block tags, and my PR response to that is here.
Ao3 fics:
Fault. The titular SBI SCP AU. SBI trapped in the Foundation. Lots of angst, large exploration of trauma, dehumanization, moral philosophies, and messed up found family. Tags are fault au, fault memes pog, sbi scp au, fault analysis, etc. This is a whole series and has many associated works. Long Fic.
>Also Where, then, do your loyalties lie? for AU where human Phil works for the Foundation and tries to free kid SCP Tommy. Complete.
Mandatory Family Reunion. Techno kidnapped by criminal dark SBI and handles it very poorly AU. Heavy dark em duo. Explores different types of abuse, motivations, delusions, and how love causes harm. Tag is Mandatory Family Reunion, sometimes mfr. Long Fic.
The Lambs Wolves Wear (Ficlet is here; starts at the Reveal and currently goes further than the ao3) Fully dark SBI where Philza's children were replaced by monsters. Demon "Tommy", changeling "Wilbur", and ghost army "Technoblade" are violent and traumatized, their tensely conflicting infiltration motives jeopardizing the lives of everyone in a twenty mile radius. As they experience love for the first time, will the wolves in sheeps clothing be tamed? Tw for abuse and horror. Long Fic.
Way more below, those are just my main projects ^-^
Where Hearts Roost. Fairy tale AU, Tommy and Wilbur break into witch Philza's cottage and get adopted. Sweet, hurt/comfort, themes of learning to trust. Complete.
The Altars We Sacrifice Our Futures On. Wherein Tommy is sacrificed to The Blood God, except he isn't an orphan so Techno awkwardly adopts him and is awful at parenting. Very funny and fluffy with some dark humor mixed in. Complete.
To Return the Favor of Raising Me. Zombie apocalypse where kid Techno struggles to lead Tommy, Niki, Tubbo, and Ranboo in killing survivors to feed their brains to zombie Philza. Techno develops insane beef with Kristin, who tries to rescue the kids to her survivor compound. Heavy angst, MCD (duh Phil is a zombie), lots of traumatized children. Complete, Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Shred Your Wings to Make You Ours. Wing fic! Predator bird Philza shreds prey!Techno’s wings and shoves him in a hole to eat later. Only problem? Philza is a sleep deprived new dad, and accidentally brings Techno back to the nest. Now the only way Techno can survive is to pretend to be a predator, too. A literal Dead Bird Do Not Eat fic- as the whole premise is cannibalism birds.
Always at His Side, Never in His Sight. OSMP + Philza’s FlowerFall. Queer royalty AU with lots of bedrock bros angst. Tommy is struggling with insecurities, aromanticism, and growing gender dysphoria, and elects to cope with invisibility potions even as side effects grow worse. Adopted crown prince Techno dodges assassins, wrangles structural inaccessibility, and accepts his role as a martyr for Tommy. Angst/comfort with fun Origin social world building. Complete. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Of Feathers and Fawning. (or ficlet here) Where Tommy is an avian and during exile his abuser takes advantage of his instincts to manipulate him. Angst heavy, deals with suffering and recovering from abuse. Complete.
Rise up and make this city glow. Young mage Niki gets conscripted invited to learn magic! Her mentor, Technoblade, had far more reservations. Hard not to, after being broken down through endless crushed rebellions. Is Niki the spark that can finally fan the flames of revolution? Complete. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Lord, what fools these mortals be! Fantasy AU, Winter Court Fae Queen Kristin and King Philza try to kidnap SBI. Wacky hijinks with dark portions. Some themes of bodily autonomy, subtle manipulations, absurdity of the fae. One chapter left.
Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home. Mythology AU where Techno is a Harvest/Revolt god that is killed every Winter Persephone style, Wilbur a Festival/Dissent god. Heavy tragedy. Themes of self change, coping with grief. Abandoned with outline.
One shots:
Where do Babies Come From? Modern AU where Philza picks up homeless kids. My first fic everyone say awww.
Worth far more than your weight in gold. Monster Hunter Techno goes after Philza, who is a raven-dragon-kenku, for taking Tommy. Phil can only talk through redacting others sentences. Monster/culture worldbuilding. Hurt/comfort, distrustful bonding. Themes of learning to value yourself, discrimination, communication.
116 East Normal Street. Human Techno bonding with his neighborhood, who are all not-so-secretly from very different genres such as 'magical girl' or 'noir detective' or 'invading alien'. Most light-hearted thing I've ever written tbh. Themes about suburban isolation but it's buried in there.
A ghost is a tragedy reliving itself. Fault AU where they are abstracted into short horror stories.
Pigmalian.exe. Technoblade is a war robot and Philza is the scientist who made him. As Philza nurtures Techno to sentience, the robot struggles with the meaning of agency and friendship. Angst and Bonding.
Vlogger and the Vampire. Parasocial? Paranormal? Why not both? Vampire emerald duo when Philza nabs a new angry fledgeling. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Ficlets:
Reverse ‘The Lambs Wolves Wear’. Lambs!AU where Philza is the one replaced by a monster (angel) and his children have to navigate it.
Sandduo makes ‘The Lambs Wolves Wear’ even more tragic. “Wilbur” shows up after Philza already killed “Techno” and “Tommy”. Pure angst ensues. Complete.
Waxing and Waning. Goddess of Death Kristin tricks Philza into becoming an icarus figure, only, sun god Tommy has never been embraced before. Complete.
Civilian. Philza finds a team of child superheroes and begins to get worried about their safety. Time to take it into his own hands! Complete.
Reverse Mafia Kidnapping? Tommy kidnaps Crime Boss!Philza. Chaos ensues. Complete.
Paragon of Justice (or whatever). Superhero Techno takes the fall for Ranboo to get tossed in jail the same week villain Wilbur gets caught, too. When breaking out of jail, villain sbi decide to take a plus one! Complete.
A Study in Brood Parasites. Dark!Kristin is a brood parasite bird that plants her chick, Techno, into Philza’s family. Only, she becomes enraptured watching Philza care for his family. Surely he won’t mind if another brood parasite infiltrates his family…. Complete.
Under-The-Bed. Tommy has a brand new monster under his bed. And maybe, if he’s nice enough, Techno will protect him from the monsters over-the-bed. Complete.
Murky Depths. Tiny Merman Techno gets rescued from polluted waters by a giant Kristin and put into a fish tank to recover. He is very Andy about this. Complete.
Do you need help drowning, darling? Vampire Hunter!Techno gets only partially turned, and is in deep denial about it as his health gets worse and worse. Luckily (?) for him, vampire Philza just decided to infiltrate the hunter compound.
Your Heart in My Hands. Fledgeling Tommy isn’t integrating with the coven well :( he keeps trying to escape. But now that Philza has found the reason he was running, all he has to do is lock Tommy in a room with Tubbo until he’s turned…or consumed. Almost complete.
The Blood God and His Fledgeling. Hyper Depressed ancient vampire!Techno finds the reincarnation of Theseus, the man who refused to turn thousands of years ago. While he won’t turn Tommy without consent….he’s not above forcing the issue. Honestly kinda abandoned.
Beast and Boy. Techno is a giant monster that’s been terrorizing the town for years, but when gravely wounded limps off to die. Tommy, however, just got a new puppy!!! And is very determined his parents won’t find out about the puppy under the house. Complete.
Bunnyblade’s 5-step Plan to World Dominance. Lab bunny Techno escapes, only to fall in the TOTALLY NEFARIOUS clutches of Philza. BUT WORRY NOT! The feeble might of a random civilian is not enough to Bunnyblade’s terrible schemes! …but might postpone them for a carrot break. And some petting. Comedy.
Shoot to Kill (I know you will). Cyber punk. Death lottery reaper!Phil tries to chase down Techno, but is thwarted by the principles of anarchy. Complete.
Hibernation. au where techno doesn’t really hibernate for weeks at a time; he just thinks he does because his ‘friends’ drug him for long periods of time to help him learn how to 'lower his guard'. Complete.
The Hero of Their Dreams. Abused!Tommy finds escapism through his dreams, where he is the beloved hero of a fantasy world. And the people in his dreams will do anything to ensure Tommy never wakes up to the horrors of their reality. 5/6.
In Case of Malunion, Carve Through Bone. Collab with Sohr and Apple. Archeologist!Philza is a modern reincarnation of an ancient trio deity who unwittingly revives Technoblade and Kristin. Through a road trip of museum heists, Techno and Kristin start gathering up the shattered pieces of Phil's deitihood. Piece by piece they replace the mortal. Complete.
I've Heard It Both Ways (from The Voices) Psyche Au where Techno claims he has visions from The Blood God which helps him solve murder cases. Uh huh. That's what he's going with. Tommy (Lassiter) is having none of it. But after Skeppy (Mr Yang) captures them both, Tommy might not like the truth he finds. Complete.
The Evertrue Pull of Home. Birds use magnetic fields to navigate. Dark Kristin decides to blast his head with magnets so Philza has no compass home. Bedrock bros try to rescue him.
Can you love me, if I pretend? Human Techno finds refuge in an origins community by pretending to be a bunnyborn. It goes. Badly.
AMESMP
Context, I'm on an origins server playing a scientist phantom named Cessation.
Failure Analysis Log 3 is a fic told through a series of scientific contents regarding Wickburn Asper working on the Ancient City portal, trying to get into the afterlife. Tragedy, yuri (?!), horror.
Ame Smp intro, Seft (Cessation's phantom kid), Pod-cast posts 1, 2, battles, i'm like super behind explaining anything man gooood luck.
every time someone gives techno a job in law enforcement, particularly for any monarchy, an angel loses its wings and crashes to the ground in a blood soaked heap screaming why! Why!
this is technically unrelated because Techno heard the words ‘heavenly hierarchy’ and decided to dismantle it himself, but—
Thinking about those kinds of gritty cyberpunk scifi AUs and the concept of Technoblade being forced to sell his life to pay a debt, with which I mean he sells his literal personhood to somebody else. Not his body, not even technically his freedom, but the more nebulous concept of the person he is.
I'm imagining a typical cyberpunk type setting where late stage capitalism and corrupt government runs the show. People are hardly seen as people, they are looked at by the corporations who run everything as potential market demographics. Valuable only in how you can appeal to them to spend their tiny amount of money.
One of the only ways to climb up the ladder is to become a brand yourself, to make sure some poor schmuck down in the city's overcrowded ecosystem believes they want to buy what you're selling. Influencers and microcelebrities and all that crap. Just make people believe they can live a better life by buying the right products or make the right investments.
Techno didn't want fame. But he got it anyway. A small amount, by becoming the underdog turned champion of a popular sport (either some sort of sci-fi MMA or fight ring, or maybe some kind of cool futuristic racing). He gets pulled into that world against his will, already has a huge amount of debt because of his upbringing, struggles to get a penny from the shitty folks running the sport who are trying to pull a fast one on him.
Techno gets in real big trouble, financially. But he has something worth selling now.
I think this concept could really pair well with how desperate Tommy is for fame and the almost frantic way he tried to get it. Like constantly grinding pouring himself into everything throwing himself in the room with big names causing trouble causing TROUBLE. Makes you wonder how much debt he’s jn. Potentially desperate to collab w techno (or anyone) and they bond trying to raise their prices together. Starts with late nights staying up scheming on how to get clout and turns into actually hanging together.
And then maybe compare to Philza who blew up and became a sweeping meme sensation after losing everything. Who got capital B Big but maybe doesn’t care. Maybe he’s already lost what he really wanted.
Tommy dragging techno in after when he starts clout chasing phil. But it’s Techno who really clicks with Phil and they’re becoming actual friends. (Since, as we all know, Tommy is really annoying at first) And since the fame is growing he starts feeling a little safer bc cyber punk loan sharks are absolutely evil. They won’t kill you/leave facial scars bc that’s damaging the pretty property. Maybe that would be kinder…
Only, Techno’s buyers aren’t actually liking the fact he’s blowing up, because if he gets to a certain level it’s all paid off and they don’t have a long term revenue source they can continually exploit. So, the loan sharks start trying other tactics. Mainly, of the trying to destroy SBI friendship variety. So they tell Phil that Tommy and techno are just using him for his fame.
Anyway I hate liar reveal plots so its not that Phil is Shocked and Outraged that they were using him for fame and manipulating him and never his real friends all along (ignoring the fact they obviously are now) /play melodramatic music and break up montage. maybe it’s like. Yeah. Phil knew they were using him for clout. But he was too tired to care at first. And then later genuinely liked his friends enough he was glad they could ride his coat tails to help with their financial situations. Emerald duo stay winning fr fr.
The loan sharks are like. Welp. Plan B?? Tommy has made insane enemies from both his outstanding debt and various cons, lies, antics, and mistakes he’s made trying to dig himself out of the whole. Suddenly it starts being really really dangerous to be Tommy’s friend, and Techno gets caught in the crossfires more and more trying to protect his buddy.
just overheard someone describing their crimes as being really into the crane wives, life series and project hail mary. and really that could be any number of you
The rule could have heavy impacts towards trans people across society.
Last week, the Trump administration quietly released a sweeping new federal rule that would use funding threats to force institutions across the country to reject transgender people. The 400-page proposed regulation would codify the administration's anti-trans executive orders into binding federal policy, imposing a blanket prohibition on federal funds going toward "gender ideology"
The proposed rule, formally titled "Regulation for Federal Financial Assistance," rewrites the government-wide framework governing all federal grants across every agency. Among its most consequential provisions, it requires that before a federal grant recipient can receive money, the award must pass a "pre-issuance review" conducted by a political appointee—not a career expert or peer reviewer—to ensure it is "consistent with applicable law, Federal agency priorities, and the national interest." The regulation explicitly instructs these appointees to screen for "denial by the recipient of the sex binary in humans or the notion that sex is a chosen or mutable characteristic." [...] An institution that acknowledges transgender people exist—through its policies, its training, its healthcare, its bathroom access, its HR procedures, its name-change processes—could be deemed to "deny the sex binary" or to “support the notion that sex is mutable” and have its federal funding blocked.
Importantly, the gender ideology prohibition has no age limitation—hospitals could be targeted not just for providing care to minors but for providing gender-affirming care to adults, because prescribing hormone therapy to a transgender patient of any age could be deemed promoting the belief that "sex is a chosen or mutable characteristic."
This is all very bad and horrible, but I want to be clear that it’s worse and more sweeping than just eliminating trans research.
This torches everything. And I do mean everything.
A very abbreviated list of its ramifications include (but are not limited to):
ending funding for ALL DEI related initiatives
allowing the government to terminate grants at any point for any reason
preventing researchers from publishing, going to conferences, and being part of academic societies
requiring that topics must support the president’s agenda.
What this means, and if anything I’m under selling it, is the death of science and research in America. It allows the government to restrict any topic they please at a whims notice, putting officials who have no background in the topic in charge of deciding funding continuity. It controls what gets researched and if/how researchers are allowed to share their discoveries. There are no books to burn if the government never allows them to be written. This is fascism plain and simple.
Please, if you only ever write one public comment, this is the one to do.
Bringing back this guide to writing an effective public comment. This gives you the basics you need to know, what you need to include, a basic outline you can follow, etc.
Public comments are not a vote, it is a chance for you to say "here is an issue with this law I think you need to address" and provide justification for legal challenges if it goes forward:
"Comments raise the bar that agencies have to meet when making a rule; “if an agency fails to adequately respond to significant, relevant comments in a final rule, members of the public may seek to challenge the rule in court on that basis and claim it could be struck down.ˮ"
But also, if possible, don't stop at writing a comment. Don't stop at calling your representatives. You should ideally be talking to people in your community about this and organizing resistance on-the-ground; there is a good chance people are already doing that even if you aren't hearing about it.
Also, please keep in mind, this is 100%, without a doubt, wholly unconsitituonal. They will try to enforce it regardless, but that does not make it legal. Do not treat this as law because it is not.
My comment in full is below. I did not read the entire Proposed Rule because I could feel my blood pressure rising into a rage after the first few paragraphs, but you are welcome to copy/paste and use this if you change it a bit to be more relevant to yourself.
(Please for the love of god put in a comment of some kind.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I am an American citizen and I REJECT this proposed rule in the strongest possible terms.
The Proposed Rule is not presented in neutral terms. It is full of fearmongering, baseless accusations, blatant misinformation, and misrepresentation of both reality and the wishes of actual citizens, including me. It claims that it would improve efficiency and keep tax dollars from being misused, but this is false. The current Administration has overseen DOGE, the largest waste of American tax dollars in history, and even more recently, spent 13 million dollars on painting the Reflecting Pool of the National Mall blue. I have little faith in their budgeting priorities. It likewise claims that the majority of Americans do not believe in a "woke" agenda. Since it is never actually stated what that means, it is impossible to counter with facts, but as we see in every national election, the number of voters who desire progressive policies is about equal to those who don't, varying by issue. Gay marriage, legalized in America in 2005 (after many other countries), has a 65% approval rating in America as of May 2026 (Gallup polls). Protection from discrimination for transgender people has an approval rating of 56%.
Aside from being blatantly un-Constitutional, this Proposed Rule is ethically, morally, and spiritually wrong. The Federal government has never possessed the right to mandate that valuable social services discriminate against the citizens they are ostensibly bound to help. The distrust that this rule would engender in all those organizations that either willingly comply or are forced to because they cannot risk losing funding would destroy America's internal stability and credibility. What are you thinking? Do you imagine that it will not affect you, because you don't think you know any trans people? That's not how this works.
You'll see it in the lack of community. Trans people are just like you. They are working in factories and shops. They are soldiers, teachers, firefighters and police, politicians and farmers and artists. This Proposed Rule tells them: You don't matter. When people can't trust each other anymore, why should they be proud of a country that forces them to deny their neighbors what they need unless they adhere to a certain ideology? That is what this rule would do. You have no right.
Since I am a researcher, I want to mention something else in the proposed rule: the ability to pull funding from researcher projects whenever you want, for whatever reason, if they don't fit your agenda. We aren't researching because we have a political agenda. We are looking for knowledge. If you let us find it, we can make you stronger, but I for one am not pouring years of labor into something that might get canceled at the last second. You want brain drain? This is how you get it. Hardworking researchers who can't count on the government to keep multi-year projects funded will not stay here. The EU, Canada, and other countries have many good opportunities for stable research funding. Maybe even China, who knows?
In summary, this proposed rule is not only a cruelty to people who are no threat to you, and never have been; it is an embarrassment to America.
Tommy as coco absolutely obsessed with magic and this bombastic force of wonder and mistakes charging through learning under Philza, who has taken him in. But Tommy whose recklessness and eagerness have resulted in some truly horrible mistakes.
Only, the masked brimhat that’s taken interest in him keeps finding ways to reach Tommy. Slipping in through dreams, luring him away, pouncing when Philza is off on other business. It’s in these moments alone, isolated from Philza’s mentorship or his fellow apprentices Tubbo and Ranboo, when Dream starts to break down Tommy more and more. Revealing the forbidden magics that begin to tarnish Magic’s splendor in Tommy’s wide eyes. Dream intends to entice Tommy with power and imaging what he can do with forbidden magics.
But nooo the boy refuses to practice upon the body, preferring all his contraptions and cherished enchanted items to perform magic. Dream breaks his things one by one, cornering Tommy to coerce him into having no choice. But it keeps not. Working. Tommy finding odd clever ways to escape, to survive, no matter how desperate.
Dream explodes every last one of Tommy’s contraptions, burning through everything Philza ever gave him. And then, he plunges Tubbo and Ranboo into immense danger, taunting Tommy all the while. Dream shows him all the horrific ways that non forbidden magics can be used to torture Tommy’s friends, corrupting every last joy Tommy has for being a witch.
And so Tommy casts his last spell. Stripped of all other options, he draws the run upon his own body. And nearly kills everyone there.
Philza finds his apprentices far, far too late. In ann instinctive rage, he incinerates the twitching body of the brim hat, and frantically pours through the rubble. Finds the burn marks swallowing Tubbo’s eye and chest, the ash skin coating Ranboo’s entire left side from where he turned to shelter Tubbo. They’re both barely clinging to life, and will be for months.
And he finds Tommy. His brilliant eyes drained to a dull grey alongside every spark that made Tommy Tommy. There is no life in him, anymore. There is no magic.
Tommy silently cries, waiting for his punishment for forbidden magics, bracing for his memories to be wiped. For his mentor to be erased, for his friends, for his love of-
For so many months he’d been scared that his love of magic could be erased with a spell. But it already has been, Tommy cast that spell himself. The ink is scarred into his body, branding him as a user of forbidden magics.
Philza gently picks him up and assures Tommy that he will protect him from the knights moralis, that his memory is safe.
“I don’t want to remember what I’ve done,” Tommy chokes.
Philza is utterly rigid as Tommy breaks down sobbing about how much he hates magic and should have never learn its secrets. He grips Tommy tighter, and tries to soothe a boy worn ragged with grief. The wound is fresh, it’s the only reason he’s saying such awful things.
But it isn’t. Dream systematically broke everything Tommy once cherished, and that conviction doesn’t fade in the following weeks as Philza desperately tries to keep Tubbo and Ranboo alive and Tommy listlessly sits on his bed. They don’t go out anymore, after the time Tommy tried to reveal what happened to get the knights moralis called on himself. Philza tells Tommy it’s for his own good, so he won’t make the worst mistake of his life.
“I already have.”
Philza is at a loss. He doesn’t know how to fix the damage the brimhat inflicted on his apprentice. He tries to draw the boy’s wonder with small miracles resplendent with light and color, but the boy doesn’t pay attention, or worse, flinches. Just being in the Atlier brings Tommy pain remembering all he’s lost and all he’s destroyed. He keeps trying to convince Philza to get rid of him.
The problem being- while of course Philza loves Tommy and was delighted to have him as an apprentice, that was never the sole reason he took Tommy underwing.
He needs Tommy to get information about the brimhats connected to him. Tommy is his best hope of unlocking secrets that have alluded Philza for far too long. He tries to entice and convince and finally to beg Tommy to stay as he grows more persistent, but nothing works.
One night, the alarm spell Philza told himself wouldn’t be needed goes off. He slips out of bed and his friendly mentor persona. He loves Tommy. He loves Tommy very, very much. He knows what happened, what is going to happen, isn’t good for Tommy.
Tommy’s stolen blood, carefully collected when Philza rescued him, pools against the glass of the seeker orb. He’d meant it as a safety measure, in case another brimhat ever tried to steal his apprentice again. And Philza assures himself that one has, a dead brimhat has stolen away his apprentice, his lead, his hope, taken the color from Tommy’s eyes and the once boundless love in his heart. All Philza is doing is returning Tommy. Rescuing him.
It isn’t hard to find a despondent magicless boy. Philza tries things the easy way, he really does, pleads with Tommy to come home, assures him nothing was his fault, that Tubbo and Ranboo will wake up soon, that Philza loves him no matter what.
And when it isn’t enough? When the masked brimhat’s influence runs too deep? Ah. It seems Philza might have to try a little harder.
Philza seizes Tommy and flies them back home, safe and sound. Tommy screaming and writhing the whole way. Locks him up. Keeps scraping through Tommy’s brain for some forbidden magic that is surely producing this alteration in temperament. Perhaps begins to fall back on erasing little bits of Tommy’s memory, snapped words too harsh, an injury from Philza desperate attempt to stop yet another escape. Increasingly wondering if he might just give Tommy his wish and wipe his memory of the whole event. But if he does, he’ll loose all the clues buried in the encounter Tommy refuses to talk about. If he doesn’t, he might just loose all leads forever by loosing Tommy…
when the character's human projection subconsciously shapeshifts to reflect how they perceive themself and/or what they want and becomes weaker and less within their control if their container is damaged or separated from them
Did you know that AO3 allows fics with homicide in them? There’s a whole tag for Major Character Death and even more tags so you can find exactly what kind of character death you want to read.
Don’t they know that murder is illegal? You just know there are a bunch of homicidal maniacs out there who love to read those stories. They write them, too, in between killing people.
Anyone can read the stories on AO3! Kids can read them! They’re getting exposed to stabbing, poisoning, even guns! And they’re writing the heroes doing the killing, too! That’s basically telling kids it’s okay to go out and murder their families. It’s promoting violence and encouraging homicide and if we don’t do something about it soon, you’ll be murdered next!
Ok adding to this though that even though it is extremely relatable, this is a KNOWN thing with professional writing. 10k is often referred to as "having a pot boiling" or "having a stew" - it's the point where you often see an idea coming together and it's exciting! But THEN... 30k-50k is the point where that fun has to start coming together. In theatre, it's usually week 3 of a 5 week rehearsal period where you have to stop talking about the play and really get it all up on its feet and cohesive. In art, it's committing to what are going to be the final visible layers of colour and texture, in sculpture the moment where you're truly at the point of no return with carving out the shape.
It usually feels really bad. Because this is the point it becomes real craft. It's so, so difficult to really be able to identify if it's truly not going to be anything or you're just in the hardest part of the process, and really the only way to know is to... write through it. Write it badly. Or, if you really can't, put it in a drawer and come back to it after a few months of breathing space. Remember, you can fix so much in the edit, but you can't fix nothing!
(I say, fully looking at my latest draft of my book and considering throwing it in the bin. But my editor said exactly this to me, so I'm passing it along.)
this is 100% true. I've written 6 complete novels at this point and every single time around the 40k mark I feel lost in the woods. Nothing seems to be working. I feel awful; I can't sleep. I keep going even though I'm convinced I'm going to fail. And then... It's like leaving a tunnel and getting back out in the sunshine. Stuff starts coalescing. Things that weren't working have obvious fixes. I "can write" again, except I was writing the whole time. It just felt hopeless in the moment. It's not. You just gotta get out of the woods.