For the rejected and the monsters. Obligatory MCYT SCP story for Sleepy Bois Inc + Tubbo. A special interest that's consumed my brain utterly for over 4 years now. CookieNomNomCrunch on AO3. They/them 🐝
This is an au that has consumed me. This blog will just be a terrible mess of whatever I’m stuck on for the week, likely with little explanation and heavy spoilers. Anyway, the general vibe + anomalous properties are below cut:
Philza: The Zilant. Is the immortal concept of fire and fury, which pretends to be a dragon, which pretends to be a human. Maintains his personhood by attaching himself to mortals he calls his ‘Collected’. Currently: Tommy, Wilbur, The Blade, and Tubbo. Additionally, Philza is very intent on keeping any promise he makes and was kept in the Foundation exclusively because they’d captured his Collected and made a deal. Gives great dad advice, except when the advice is ‘let me murder them for you <3’
Tommy: The Instigator. Has a blood red liquid on his hands that grows when he’s scared. When people touch it, they become aggressive to anyone but Tommy. At low TI-Red levels this leads to things like bickering, but it escalates to physical violence and brutality. When TI-Red levels consume him and he thinks he’s going to die, he summons The Blade. Lived as a normal human and met Wil, Phil, and The Blade after a summoning at 15; visited the homeless guys occasionally till the Foundation captured at 16. Abandonment issues, highly touch starved, used as a Thaumiel. Collected Tubbo.
The Blade: The Blood God. Is a massive boar behemoth with voices in his head. When attacked (or if there’s an orphan), becomes The Blood God, who will bend the universe to ensure he wins. The Blade only comes back when the challenge has been completed. Grew up as a monster in the woods, but pulled himself up out of the voices, figured out what was him and what was The Blood God, and established his own personhood. Somehow has a college degree, met Phil and Wil during a gap year. Loves gardening and murdering people for Tommy. Also managed to come out of the Foundation the least traumatized, iconic.
Wilbur: Soot. [tags are noms Wilbur or scp Wilbur if you want to block] His legs magically rearrange so he is the tallest humanoid in the room. Oh also the void in the side of his face that eldritch abominations claw their way out of. Was basically a feral starving child till ~14 when Philza forcefully adopted him. A chronic insomniac with a heart of gold and a tongue of silver, held together despite the inherent contradictions between being a supreme survivalist and a drama hoe. Memory issues because he represses basically everything.
Tubbo: The Pollinator. Is a honeycomb skin suit for approximately 400,000 bees. Uses they/them we/us pronouns, because they are a Hive mind/system containing at least three humans: a Little, a Foundation employee, and a lawyer/farmer. Tubbo grew up mostly normal, albeit in secret. The most recently captured by the Foundation, and a staunch pacifist. This causes them to be at odds with Philza, who did a few murderous rampages too many, and The Blade, for the reason above and also because he destroyed their legs. But they stick around because they’re attached to Tommy.
Basic vibes are found family, hurt/comfort, questions of morality, and trauma at the hands of the Foundation and each other. Things get messy, but it’s all bound together with love at the end of the day.
All Nom commissions are prompt gifts for donations to charitable causes, such as the environment, social justice rights, or victims of wars. I will not cover topics of romance, sex, or write about George, Dream, or Wilbur.
Writing: Base 5$ gets a minimum of 300 words. 10$ 1,000 word minimum, 20$ 3,000. I also have no self-control, and there is no additional payment if the prompt is amazing and I break the world limit.
Drawing: Base 5$ gets a drawing in full color. 'Animatics' start at 40$ for a verse, and the price increases for color.
Project Guide
The tag 'crumbs to tide you over' is how I organize ficlets, wip sippets, and fic announcements. Personal tag is something to nom on. Wilbur tags are noms Wilbur or scp Wilbur if you want to block tags, and my PR response to that is here.
Ao3 fics:
Fault. The titular SBI SCP AU. SBI trapped in the Foundation. Lots of angst, large exploration of trauma, dehumanization, moral philosophies, and messed up found family. Tags are fault au, fault memes pog, sbi scp au, fault analysis, etc. This is a whole series and has many associated works. Long Fic.
>Also Where, then, do your loyalties lie? for AU where human Phil works for the Foundation and tries to free kid SCP Tommy. Complete.
Mandatory Family Reunion. Techno kidnapped by criminal dark SBI and handles it very poorly AU. Heavy dark em duo. Explores different types of abuse, motivations, delusions, and how love causes harm. Tag is Mandatory Family Reunion, sometimes mfr. Long Fic.
The Lambs Wolves Wear (Ficlet is here; starts at the Reveal and currently goes further than the ao3) Fully dark SBI where Philza's children were replaced by monsters. Demon "Tommy", changeling "Wilbur", and ghost army "Technoblade" are violent and traumatized, their tensely conflicting infiltration motives jeopardizing the lives of everyone in a twenty mile radius. As they experience love for the first time, will the wolves in sheeps clothing be tamed? Tw for abuse and horror. Long Fic.
Way more below, those are just my main projects ^-^
Where Hearts Roost. Fairy tale AU, Tommy and Wilbur break into witch Philza's cottage and get adopted. Sweet, hurt/comfort, themes of learning to trust. Complete.
The Altars We Sacrifice Our Futures On. Wherein Tommy is sacrificed to The Blood God, except he isn't an orphan so Techno awkwardly adopts him and is awful at parenting. Very funny and fluffy with some dark humor mixed in. Complete.
To Return the Favor of Raising Me. Zombie apocalypse where kid Techno struggles to lead Tommy, Niki, Tubbo, and Ranboo in killing survivors to feed their brains to zombie Philza. Techno develops insane beef with Kristin, who tries to rescue the kids to her survivor compound. Heavy angst, MCD (duh Phil is a zombie), lots of traumatized children. Complete, Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Shred Your Wings to Make You Ours. Wing fic! Predator bird Philza shreds prey!Techno’s wings and shoves him in a hole to eat later. Only problem? Philza is a sleep deprived new dad, and accidentally brings Techno back to the nest. Now the only way Techno can survive is to pretend to be a predator, too. A literal Dead Bird Do Not Eat fic- as the whole premise is cannibalism birds.
Always at His Side, Never in His Sight. OSMP + Philza’s FlowerFall. Queer royalty AU with lots of bedrock bros angst. Tommy is struggling with insecurities, aromanticism, and growing gender dysphoria, and elects to cope with invisibility potions even as side effects grow worse. Adopted crown prince Techno dodges assassins, wrangles structural inaccessibility, and accepts his role as a martyr for Tommy. Angst/comfort with fun Origin social world building. Complete. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Of Feathers and Fawning. (or ficlet here) Where Tommy is an avian and during exile his abuser takes advantage of his instincts to manipulate him. Angst heavy, deals with suffering and recovering from abuse. Complete.
Rise up and make this city glow. Young mage Niki gets conscripted invited to learn magic! Her mentor, Technoblade, had far more reservations. Hard not to, after being broken down through endless crushed rebellions. Is Niki the spark that can finally fan the flames of revolution? Complete. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Lord, what fools these mortals be! Fantasy AU, Winter Court Fae Queen Kristin and King Philza try to kidnap SBI. Wacky hijinks with dark portions. Some themes of bodily autonomy, subtle manipulations, absurdity of the fae. One chapter left.
Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home. Mythology AU where Techno is a Harvest/Revolt god that is killed every Winter Persephone style, Wilbur a Festival/Dissent god. Heavy tragedy. Themes of self change, coping with grief. Abandoned with outline.
One shots:
Where do Babies Come From? Modern AU where Philza picks up homeless kids. My first fic everyone say awww.
Worth far more than your weight in gold. Monster Hunter Techno goes after Philza, who is a raven-dragon-kenku, for taking Tommy. Phil can only talk through redacting others sentences. Monster/culture worldbuilding. Hurt/comfort, distrustful bonding. Themes of learning to value yourself, discrimination, communication.
116 East Normal Street. Human Techno bonding with his neighborhood, who are all not-so-secretly from very different genres such as 'magical girl' or 'noir detective' or 'invading alien'. Most light-hearted thing I've ever written tbh. Themes about suburban isolation but it's buried in there.
A ghost is a tragedy reliving itself. Fault AU where they are abstracted into short horror stories.
Pigmalian.exe. Technoblade is a war robot and Philza is the scientist who made him. As Philza nurtures Techno to sentience, the robot struggles with the meaning of agency and friendship. Angst and Bonding.
Vlogger and the Vampire. Parasocial? Paranormal? Why not both? Vampire emerald duo when Philza nabs a new angry fledgeling. Fandom Trumps Hate prompt.
Ficlets:
Reverse ‘The Lambs Wolves Wear’. Lambs!AU where Philza is the one replaced by a monster (angel) and his children have to navigate it.
Sandduo makes ‘The Lambs Wolves Wear’ even more tragic. “Wilbur” shows up after Philza already killed “Techno” and “Tommy”. Pure angst ensues. Complete.
Waxing and Waning. Goddess of Death Kristin tricks Philza into becoming an icarus figure, only, sun god Tommy has never been embraced before. Complete.
Civilian. Philza finds a team of child superheroes and begins to get worried about their safety. Time to take it into his own hands! Complete.
Reverse Mafia Kidnapping? Tommy kidnaps Crime Boss!Philza. Chaos ensues. Complete.
Paragon of Justice (or whatever). Superhero Techno takes the fall for Ranboo to get tossed in jail the same week villain Wilbur gets caught, too. When breaking out of jail, villain sbi decide to take a plus one! Complete.
A Study in Brood Parasites. Dark!Kristin is a brood parasite bird that plants her chick, Techno, into Philza’s family. Only, she becomes enraptured watching Philza care for his family. Surely he won’t mind if another brood parasite infiltrates his family…. Complete.
Under-The-Bed. Tommy has a brand new monster under his bed. And maybe, if he’s nice enough, Techno will protect him from the monsters over-the-bed. Complete.
Murky Depths. Tiny Merman Techno gets rescued from polluted waters by a giant Kristin and put into a fish tank to recover. He is very Andy about this. Complete.
Do you need help drowning, darling? Vampire Hunter!Techno gets only partially turned, and is in deep denial about it as his health gets worse and worse. Luckily (?) for him, vampire Philza just decided to infiltrate the hunter compound.
Your Heart in My Hands. Fledgeling Tommy isn’t integrating with the coven well :( he keeps trying to escape. But now that Philza has found the reason he was running, all he has to do is lock Tommy in a room with Tubbo until he’s turned…or consumed. Almost complete.
The Blood God and His Fledgeling. Hyper Depressed ancient vampire!Techno finds the reincarnation of Theseus, the man who refused to turn thousands of years ago. While he won’t turn Tommy without consent….he’s not above forcing the issue. Honestly kinda abandoned.
Beast and Boy. Techno is a giant monster that’s been terrorizing the town for years, but when gravely wounded limps off to die. Tommy, however, just got a new puppy!!! And is very determined his parents won’t find out about the puppy under the house. Complete.
Bunnyblade’s 5-step Plan to World Dominance. Lab bunny Techno escapes, only to fall in the TOTALLY NEFARIOUS clutches of Philza. BUT WORRY NOT! The feeble might of a random civilian is not enough to Bunnyblade’s terrible schemes! …but might postpone them for a carrot break. And some petting. Comedy.
Shoot to Kill (I know you will). Cyber punk. Death lottery reaper!Phil tries to chase down Techno, but is thwarted by the principles of anarchy. Complete.
Hibernation. au where techno doesn’t really hibernate for weeks at a time; he just thinks he does because his ‘friends’ drug him for long periods of time to help him learn how to 'lower his guard'. Complete.
The Hero of Their Dreams. Abused!Tommy finds escapism through his dreams, where he is the beloved hero of a fantasy world. And the people in his dreams will do anything to ensure Tommy never wakes up to the horrors of their reality. 5/6.
In Case of Malunion, Carve Through Bone. Collab with Sohr and Apple. Archeologist!Philza is a modern reincarnation of an ancient trio deity who unwittingly revives Technoblade and Kristin. Through a road trip of museum heists, Techno and Kristin start gathering up the shattered pieces of Phil's deitihood. Piece by piece they replace the mortal. Complete.
I've Heard It Both Ways (from The Voices) Psyche Au where Techno claims he has visions from The Blood God which helps him solve murder cases. Uh huh. That's what he's going with. Tommy (Lassiter) is having none of it. But after Skeppy (Mr Yang) captures them both, Tommy might not like the truth he finds. Complete.
The Evertrue Pull of Home. Birds use magnetic fields to navigate. Dark Kristin decides to blast his head with magnets so Philza has no compass home. Bedrock bros try to rescue him.
Can you love me, if I pretend? Human Techno finds refuge in an origins community by pretending to be a bunnyborn. It goes. Badly.
AMESMP
Context, I'm on an origins server playing a scientist phantom named Cessation.
Failure Analysis Log 3 is a fic told through a series of scientific contents regarding Wickburn Asper working on the Ancient City portal, trying to get into the afterlife. Tragedy, yuri (?!), horror.
Ame Smp intro, Seft (Cessation's phantom kid), Pod-cast posts 1, 2, battles, i'm like super behind explaining anything man gooood luck.
You didn’t choose this.
They deserve it.
It’s not your fault.
If only Tommy could believe that. Not all of the Red on his hands is blood, but it barely helps. His life at the SCP Foundation is routine: white walls and bland ‘food’ broken up only by visits with Philza if he’s lucky, doctors and researchers if he isn’t, and The Blade if he’s really, really unlucky. Survival has a cost, but rarely is it one he himself pays, and the guilt of what he's done is almost enough to convince Tommy that the Foundation is right to lock up dangerous anomalies like him.
But then one day a bee appeared in his cell. That’s not to say things got better, but, well, they certainly weren’t so mundane anymore.
Fault is a hurt/comfort long fic about a sleepy bois inc using the setting of the SCP Foundation. It initially centers Tommy and clingy duo before shifting to a rotating perspective adding Tubbo, Techno, Philza, Wilbur, and a large cast of side characters. It details the trauma and moral struggles of sbi and their encounter with the SCP Foundation that works to capture and….study anomalies. Themes/tropes include interrogations of guilt and blame, found family, heavy angst, dehumanization, and trauma at the hands of the Foundation and each other. Things get messy, but it’s all bound together with love at the end of the day.
Throws this Lambs Phil sketch I did at you and runs away
(MB if it's rough I haven't drawn in a while 💔💔)
I love him!!! The scratchy sketch work really adds to the vibe of him, uneasy, rough. His fear just bleeds through the page! His cheeks are so soft, and the background color coves the feeling of a dark fairytale illustration. Perfect!
that one time ranboo died and dropped red and green dye named “ ranboo’s blood” and “ranboo’s other blood”, implies that he has two seperate circulatory systems and therefore two hearts
L'Manburg is a giant city-sized flying ship scraping through endless fog above a desolate world. It never lands, entirely self sufficient. Overcrowded as hell and bursting at the seams with generations of people with only bitter memories of a life off the ship, there is quite literally nowhere to escape to.
Not even in death.
Medicine has advanced like crazy and so it’s super hard for most people to die. Philza is an Angel of Death meant to thin the ranks. He’s hella rich because when the death lottery lands on wealthy people, they bribe him. And sometimes he doesn’t take the offer so the next bribe is way bigger (or that’s what he says, sometimes someone is so despicable he won’t be deterred no matter what). A few rich guys pick up on it and try to boost PR like crazy to seem like they’re one of the good millionaires, which is enough for Phil to justify it all to himself.
Meanwhile, Techno is a broke anarchist with a gaggle of brats he’s teaching principles of resistance and mutual aid to, becoming a cornerstone of his community through his work. Which means, he’s causing a lot or problems for the elites. They want him gone, and they want him gone fast. Only, Techno keeps wriggling out of jail, be it by legal or illegal measures. Quackity’s got loopholes on lockdown so the longest Techno’s ever been in is three months, to return the favor of Techno hooking him up with connections to a really good dentist.
However, there is a system where prisoners get their name in extra times, to harshly enforce the consequences of repeated offenses. Meaning, it’s deeply lucrative to try and criminalized types of people that you don’t like because it increases their chance of just dying. And for a young broke anarchist stirring up trouble….there’s a lot of incentive to get him reaped.
But. Heh. Someone didn’t tell this loser Angel that Technoblade never dies. Techno isn’t given a heads up of course, but he lives his life paranoid enough that when Phil tries to get the drop on him, he barely evades. Leading to a chase. Leading to a very public chase, which may or may not involve Technoblade tossing lots of insults one liners and comebacks at Phil. On live television. And getting away.
Philza is rather publicly humiliated, though is more disgruntled by the fact he’s failed a mission for the first time. So he tries to kill Techno again. And again. It’s even harder now that techno has a heads up though. Phil grits his teeth and asks for the Look Out system. It’s not common, but not unheard of, for an Angel to botch a mission. Not that Phil has ever needed it. Basically it’s a reward put out for a confirmed spotting of the death marked, and an even bigger one for bringing them in. Not killing them tho, the gov doesn’t want the populace having means or experience in death, or the bad PR of killing the wrong guy. So now, the overflowing population is also on the look out for Techno.
Except. Except Techno has actually really firmly rooted himself in his community. He’s the one who steals medicine for sick kids and intimidates gangs away from protection rackets. He’s the one handing out pamphlets on rights so people avoid arrest, starting protests, popping people out of detention centers, delivering meals to those over 300, everything. And every single time he was hammering in the idea of mutual aid. So. He might have a lot of favors to cache. And after their hard clawed for stability started to unravel in the 3 months Techno was in jail, they’ll do anything to keep him.
Philza gets a call on a Techno sighting, only to find no one but a small blond brat, with later intel telling him Techno was three miles away and eighty floors down. Tommy, apparently the chatter box is called, tells him this ENDLESS story including what he ate for breakfast and when his birthday is in the preamble to when he saw the death marked. And also how the death marked was helping a 500 year old lady cross the street and rescued a warp kitten from a tree. And after an hour when Phil is certain he’s getting nothing tries to threaten Tommy into giving real info since there’s a fine for false tips. Only for the kid to burst into ENDLESS tears about how it’ll bankrupt his family and hurt his chronically ill mother and his little sister won’t be able to afford pre-K coloring pencils even though she’s an amazing artist and it’s the only thing that brings the family joy. And like. Phil is already extremely harried so he straight up shoves a bunch of money at Tommy to get him to shut up. At which point Tommy’s like. Blink blink. Wait but ur evil.
The group’s strategy radically readjusts once they realize Phil is not pure evil. Not that Techno is ever going to trust a COP, but, maybe they can use this.
Philza glides through the tall city towers on mechanical wings, his shadow coasting ominously over the crowds below. Superstition promises bad luck at minimum when an Angel of Death passes over. Ridiculous, Philza only targets death marked; he’s not a serial killer by any means. His DNA scanner runs wild, until suddenly pinging on one figure out of thousands. Swooping into a dive he nearly starts a chase on Techno—
only to get abruptly stopped by Ranboo clinging onto him full force tackle wailing about having lost a family member to an Angel recently. Phil tries to fight them off but he’s already lost Techno in the crowd. (Just why is the crowd sheltering him? Don’t they want the reward?) Anyway he figures Ranboo is in on the Techno protection scheme, because increasingly a lot of people are rallying behind Techno in a unified front despite all the elite propaganda attempting to suppress favor for him.
So Phil sits Ranboo down and is like, no, the system is fair, think about the consequences, it’s a more peaceful death than disease or war or famine, etc etc propaganda that fades into a genuine attempt at grief counseling.
Ranboo: why not give people like a month’s notice to get everything in order.
Phil: Techno had a heads up of five seconds and look where that’s gotten us.
The real guts of the conversation is the argument about the wealth disparity of targets. Phil tries to argue that there are so few targeted because they’re already a minority of the population, Ranboo countering with the bribe thing, Phil retorts about the philanthropy he’s inspired, but finally goes quiet when Ranboo slams down a journal detailing all the records showing how fake and surface level it was. Data Phil didn’t have, or overlooked, maybe purposefully.
Phil: ….. nobody escapes death, mate. Maybe it’s not fair to individuals, but it’s the fairness society needs to persist.
Ranboo: what if it was your family, though? Your friends?
And Phil just laughs bitterly. "No one loves death, kid."
Phil and Techno bantering more and more on each attempted hunt. It’s almost…nice for someone not to be scared of him for once. Honestly it’s some of the only real human connection Phil actually has, since there’s a massive rotating cast of other characters trying to thwart him to avoid any intense heat or scrutiny. Still, Phil is sharp as a whip and quickly realizes a lot of them are accidentally dropping information about who Techno is as a person. Philza of course records it all, trying to build a profile of the kid he’s hunting. But admittedly….a lot of it isn’t useful. He knows Techno gardened relentlessly in a covert hydroponics den to feed his community, but his neighbors are left to tend to it now he’s fled. He has snippets of Techno’s favorite books from the home he ransacked and the lines Techno drops in conversations, but even if he’s read them all twice it doesn’t help him catch the death marked. Endless stories about the tangible good techno did for this community, far more real than the performative acts Philza coerced from the upper elite.
As mocking and humiliated as Phil was by the ‘Techno never dies’ taunt, it’s almost relieving now. Techno lives on in a million stories, all the lives he’s touched. He’s revolutionized the community into something supportive, and that won’t be lost even when his life is.
And then on a hunt, Philza actually manages to hit Techno. He swallows his heart in his throat, realizing he’d relied on Techno never dying than he thought. Techno had already been off his game, he should’ve realized as quiet as the man was.
Philza chases the limping techno through the streets, corralling him somewhere more private so he can save techno, but knows techno just thinks it’s so he won’t be martyred. Phil increasingly screaming with worry in his thoughts but can’t say anything bc monitorization. He approaches Techno slowly like a cornered animal, weapons lowered but prepared for an attack. Techno is nothing like himself when scared, quiet and desperate and blinded with pain to his usual cleverness. Soon enough he’s cornered in a backend with no where to run - or, normally he would, but not with that bloody sizzling mess of his leg.
Philza crouches down, moving slow as he prowls toward his prey. Philza’s wings spread out to block Techno’s escape, or any civilians from seeing what occurs. The cameras too, he prays.
“I’ll make it quick,” he announces while shaking his head silently. The death marked only curls into himself in pain. Was he always this small? Sure Phil knew he was barely of age from the file but prime he was tiny. Philza…didn’t have anywhere he could take techno for help. In the months he’d been chasing the death marked, he’d been increasingly aware of the contrast between Techno’s unending support network and his absolute jack all, but it’s never felt so real realizing he has genuinely no one that can help him with this.
Phil peels off the makeshift scrap armor techno has on his leg, injecting a hyper-adrenal syringe and praying the temp meds help him manage it. He’s trying to use soothing touches but can’t much gauge how it’s working, or if techno is scared of him, if he’s- if he’s still conscious. So gently, Phil peels off Techno’s helmet. He’s…nervous. Phil has to memorize his target’s features through pictures and videos because Angels aren’t meant to get the wrong person. Hell all their weapons are DNA based to ensure it. But he memorizes, he doesn’t get familiar. Cant stomach it. And he’s seen a Lot more of techno than usual, mugshots of his casual smirk, snapshots of him laughing with friends. Phil isn’t ready to see the real Techno, scared and dizzy with blood loss, because it’ll make this seem real. The familiar face pasted over his walls, bone white in death. Because Techno is so painfully familiar, now. Maybe the only person in the whole world that Philza has.
And since Philza has cough cough an entirely justified cork board spread of Techno, of course he immediately recognizes his sister, Niki. And immediately panics because 1. he hurt techno's sister 2. he's just hurt a non-death mark, PR nightmare 3. he hurt techno's sister 4. he's already failing this mission so badly and might get fired 5. he hurt techno's sister 6. Civilians are going to avoid him even more after this 7. she's just a kid, not even fifteen, he's hurt a kid oh prime he's hurt a kid 8. he's hurt techno's sister 9. he wouldn't have even realized if he'd just done his job right and killed techno from the start 10. he's hurt her he's hurt her he's hurt her he's hurt h
Niki flinches at her name, biting down on a scream. But she hisses out: It's worth it. Every delay on the bounty is another life saved.
Phil: kid kid no hang on, I'll get you to a hospital, pay for it and everything--
Niki: You already planned to destroy my life by killing him. Techno is all I have.
And Phil is suddenly seething. Because it's such a disservice to everything Techno has ever built that it's vile to him, to imply that Niki wouldn't be cared for. That Techno hasn't single handedly built a community that cares in the pit of a gutter. That all his work would've been in vain. That Techno isn't beloved by everyone, including Philza.
Which is about when Techno's steel boot slams into his temple.
Philza curls into himself, accepting the exploding pain of Techno stomping his ribs in. No point calling for help, no one would come running. He doesn't deserve it anyway. A befitting end for an Angel of Death. The world slips away into black.
He doesn't expect to wake up. Least of all in Techno's safe house chained up to 11. He's bleary and feels naked without any weapons or armor or gadgets. The world is a weird blur of blotchy pain and bright lights. But as he's catching a sea of angry people he recognizes, the only thing phil can think is. "where are the books"
Then, as his brain cells start connecting one to the next, Philza is terrified for how niki is doing. Relentlessly asks about her condition, starts spitting out what all his medical supplies is and how to use it so she's okay. Which leads to the anarchists having a lot of side eye, since they thought that would only happen with some death threats.
At first the anarchists were wanting. well information, weapons, the look of fear in Phil's eyes as they realize he's at their mercy. Maybe a lil torture for catharsis, since it's not like that gets info. But now they're staring down a pathetic mess and are like. hmmm. okay so this guy is about 5 minutes away from flipping sides maybe we can work with this.
Now techno. Techno techno techno. Quite honestly, philza has made his life a living hell. Of course Techno’s laid back joking attitude meant he could banter back and forth no sweat, but a large part of that was also just plain public image control and trying to make sure his enemies couldn’t tell just how on the back foot he was. Techno had his entire LIFE detonate, has been couch surfing endlessly while scared witless he’d be getting friends hurt for him, hasn’t had a full nights sleep in ages, paranoid out of his head, and just had his little sister shot. So YEAH. Not team Phil that’s for sure!
Niki tho. Well she hates Phil too cause she was also on the run and saw how bad it affected techno. But she also saw how bad Phil reacted when hit, even before he realized it was her.
Tommy tho remembers the way that Phil gave him a bunch of money, and Ranboo thinking about how Phil actually sat through and had a real conversation with them, being kind and polite albeit wrong.
So with some time and a lot of conversations, they eventually convince Phil that Techno's lottery was rigged by the elite. doesn't matter if it's true or not tbh, but it works with Phil trying to frame himself mentally as a good person. So they decide…why not return the favor? Repay a visit to those wealthy who duped Phil in pretending they were a net positive to society.
After a little while, Philza 'escapes'. bats his eyes so innocently at his employers like what do you mean I botched Techno's hit. He's reduced to atoms out of public eye so that he can't be martyred. nvm the propaganda coup that Techno fully escaped, or was brutalized evilly, or whatever mixture of wild conspiracy theories are fueling public outcry. The community surges wildly, everyone connecting a lot more, blooming class consciousness, the revolution is beginning and it's beginning with love for the legendary death mark Technoblade who never dies. And Philza just salutes and is like don’t worryy I'm doing everrrrrything I can to stop this problem while sabotage Death Inc's PR. Boom. Anarchist Angel of Death Phil who now does hits exclusively on the wealthy, sorry that's just what the lottery keeps giving him he's only doing his job :/ what can yah do
A dark sbi drabble inspired by egg mimicry and the mafia hypothesis. Tw for death, stalking, dark!Kristin and reluctant dark!Techno.
Elytrian Philza is super-duper excited to raise his first family, incredibly in love and ready to be a dad. Counting each egg, lost in daydreams of what each chick will grow up to be like. At least, until he notices he has an extra egg. Each identical to the next, but infiltrated all the same.
Phantoms are the scourge of Elytrians, an infamous brood parasite. The eggs and chicks may look identical, but unless rooted out they quickly become the only chick left, killing the others one by one until all the resources and attention centered upon them. That, or become a drain, demanding more and more while his own chicks starve, hostages for Philza’s good behavior. And Philza cannot afford to let his family get hurt.
The eggs look identical. One wrong choice means the death of his baby, and the potential death of all others. Philza studies each one carefully. But after months of fawning over them, he knows every last speckle. A perfect imposter it may be, but it’s no match for a perfect father. Philza scoops up the imposter egg, and drops it off the nest, smashing on the ground far below.
Cue Kristin returning to find the remains of her child.
Her talons rip into the earth between egg shell shards, glinting in the moonlight. But she holds no grief for the dead chick. It is not in a Phantom for such things. No, she’s annoyed, having carefully stalked this family for weeks to ensure it was the best place for her spawn. Kristin does not make mistakes. But her hosts evidently have. She’ll just have to force them to reconsider.
The nest house is too small, shoulders brushing the ceiling. But it is expansive in a twist of pods and rope bridges, extravagance the mark of the pair’s prowess in resource gathering. They’ll have more than enough to give her child, they might even have a few chicks spared. Kristin is being reasonable. She prowls through the home until at last coming to the nest. Philza and Fridge peacefully curl together in slumber.
Philza jolts awake at the cracking of eggs. The Elytrian lunges to stop her, but is easily picked up and thrown into the wall, head cracking against bloody oak. Kristin smashes through the last of his children, then takes off on silent wings, the phantom an invisible shadow through the night.
Philza and Fridge are devastated, take a while to grieve and recover. Philza gets pretty hard core on defensive measures to protect his family. Eventually they have more eggs, but there's an absolute gut plummet when Philza realizes there's another phantom egg in their clutch. Too scared to do anything else, they decide to just raise the phantom child.
They name him Techno. Because technocally, he's not their actual kid.
He grows up fast. Too fast. A head above the other chicks, never satiated. Phil and Fridge try to Good Parent their way out of it, but it's very shakey territory, and they're increasingly worried about the safety of their chicks. The only thing that ever dims his threat is food and nurturing, but he’s voracious. It’s taking everything they can to appease the phantom chick, scraping themselves down to scrawny, exhausted shells of themselves just to have enough left over for their real kids. Enough for them to be fed, and loved, and safe.
And it works, for a while. But they can’t keep up. Techno feels worse and worse. Something is wrong with him but he doesn’t know what. He feels guilty knowing how much mom and dad are struggling to take care of everyone. (Take care of him.) The others are a little too young to notice (but aren’t they the same age?) but Techno is clearly the favorite. Portions the biggest, always the first to get seconds, thirds, fourths. Mom says it’s cause he needs extra for his growth spurts but that doesn’t seem right. This gangly body doesn’t feel right. Makes him look less and less like his siblings. (You need to be identical you have to there is no self there is no you that won’t get you killed.)
Techno shoves extra food in his pockets, and secretly gives it to his siblings. It makes something in him howl worse. Particularly Tommy, he’s the runt. Tommy’s small and scrawny. Techno isn’t. Tommy’s cute. Techno isn’t. Tommy’s real. Techno isn’t.
There’s a drought. Food grows scarce. Something in Techno grows emptier, and emptier.
But then another thing starts to fill it. The quiet, persistent whisper. It speaks of blood. Techno wrestles with his brood parasite instincts, keeps fighting off the little voice suggesting he hurt one of his siblings. No, not hurt. Kill. It terrifies Techno, but he can’t tell mom and dad because they’re already so stressed.
And he can clamp down, bury it so deep, convince himself he doesn’t really want to. He loves his family, why wouldn’t he? It’s not a problem. Or it wasn’t, when it’s just the one voice. Because then suddenly there’s another, and another, instincts screaming in his ears.
One day Philza and Fridge come back to find Tubbo fallen from the nest, his small body exploded from the impact.
And suddenly there’s a lot more food to go around.
But of course, a phantom keeps watching over their kid, otherwise Kristin wouldn't have known to retaliate in the first place! She checks in only periodically -again, a brood parasite, she doesn't have a maternal bone in her body- and is really cheered to see her son being showered with so much affection and raised so well. And, pretty common for people to get enamored by someone being a good parent. Maybe stalks more and more to keep seeing Phil. Also starting to care more for Techno through sheer exposure even though it's not in her instincts. And. Maybe it's lonely. Phantoms form occasional flocks, but it's just not the same as a family. From afar Kristin watches something she's not supposed to have, not supposed to even want.
So. When Philza's wife starts getting more and more scared about Techno hurting the other chicks and suggests quietly murdering him…in a way, Kristin is relieved. Besides, she'd infiltrated her stolen family perfectly when she was a chick so long ago. Surely no one will notice!
Philza goes numb, the moment he sees the Phantom. Hears his name role off its tongue. Feels its arms wrap around him. It feels like he is drifting through life, a free fall, or perhaps a glide, approaching the ground closer and closer yet his wings to leaden do anything but accept it. His wife is dead. His family is dead. He is dead. Or will be. All he has left is the gentle coast into an inevitable fatal crash.
The Phantom sits by him at dinner, some conversation washing over as she leans forward, a hand comfortably tucked in the crook of his elbow. He doesn’t even notice the chicks aren’t at the table until Tommy plucks up his courage to leave the fluff pile huddling in the corner.
“Dad, why is she in Mum’s seat? Where is Mum?”
Philza blinks slowly. His eyes scrap past the way Tommy barely holds back tears. To where Techno holds the other chicks behind him, maybe hostages, maybe protecting his siblings. To where the Kristin’s claws tighten on his arm.
His new wife is eating something at the dinner table. Someone, maybe, its…collective pieces have enough body mass. Kristin tends to instinctively hiss whenever anything tries to take her food, but without Fridge, Philza can’t hunt enough to provide for the family.
This won’t last. So he gathers up his broken courage. And says: “Ah! Thank you for getting dinner tonight, honey. You’re so good at taking care of the kids.” He watches the phantom freeze, watching with its hollow eyes that don’t shine quite right. And in that beat of hesitation, he leans forward, pressing past the hiss in its throat, to brush a kiss against its bloodied lips. Kristin nearly flinches. And stays stone still as Philza slices up the prey and gives it to hungry chicks, the largest portions always for Techno.
Kristin remains still, never once lunging to maim as the family eats. Its claws trace its lips.
Kristin doesn't have mom instincts. But she does have parasite instincts that reward her when she picks a good host that takes care of her baby. She’s absolutely overjoyed every time Phil is bonding with Techno. Initially that's all her crush was, actually. And as she's starting to really like Philza, Kristin tries to convince herself it's still just the only form of parental instincts she has, vicarious, exploitative. She's still figuring out what love means. How to love Techno, because he's desperately turning to her with a body increasingly alien to his siblings. And Kristin knows that isolation, because even if her own infiltrated family never realized she was different, Kristin did, painfully, horrifically. She's more and more invested in making sure Techno's childhood comes out right, maybe parasite instincts, maybe to keep up the act as Philza's wife, maybe for the sake of her own childhood trauma, maybe to learn what a family is, maybe because she's beginning to understand how to love Techno. How to give. How to teach.
Philza thinks it's going well. Or as well as it can. It’a agonizing convincing Tommy his mother is the awful monster that hurt their family so much. But the longer Kristin is around, the more Techno's killer instincts seem to quiet down, the boy calmer, happier. He thinks the danger is waning now that the phantoms have what they want.
Only, Kristin isn't teaching Techno to calm his fratricide instincts; she's teaching him to hide them better.
Kristin doesn’t know love, but she knows how to be a brood parasite. And so she’s a parent the only way she can be, passing her experiences on, teaching Techno how to better assimilate and quietly assassinate.
Techno feels like he's getting good advice and feel like he's actually being seen and understood, so he tries to quash his conflicting emotions since he's gotten really attached to his family, unlike how Kristin describes her own infiltration family. And he's scared of messing up after Kristin tells the story of how Philza killed her last egg. So while previously he was just feeling increasingly isolated as he grew up too fast and all wrong, now he has the added fear of getting ousted to his dad as a fraud! And murdered!
Since Kristin is appeased when Phil is being nice to Techno, he starts being heavy on the favoritism, which Tommy immediately picks up on. So hungry for parental validation, Tommy starts trying to cozy up to Kristin, obviously making Phil even more stressed. But also, Kristin has no idea what to do with that. Especially when her chick's rival is loudly complaining about Techno being favored and trying to figure out how to win over Philza's attention. Being envious and rude to her chick. Hogging resources that should be going to her chick. Pointing out to Philza that Techno is different.
So Kristin encourages Techno's parasite instincts to get him to eliminate the threat to Philza's undivided adoration.
Parasite intrusive thoughts screaming in Techno's ears, Kristin cultivating his feeling of species disconnect, wanting to prove himself to his mom, scared that Dad will stop loving him, just, everything swirling faster and faster in Techno's head. And since intrusive thoughts get worse and worse when stressed, and Kristin is telling him that the thoughts are what he wants (not what he fears), Techno starts trying to distance himself emotionally from his siblings. Especially Tommy. It's easier, since Tommy seems to be starting to hate him already. Not like their previous brother relationship was real anyway, right? Or won't be, if Tommy finds out the truth. Everything is getting louder, louder, unbearable.
Still, the crack of Tommy's bones is louder than the cacophony in Techno's skulll.
prompt from Neon: Mandatory Family Reunion au where techno, feeling petty at his parents, takes a dna test... and finds he has living relatives! [feat writer Viridian in green]
Since techno thinks he’s improving his relationship with his parents that must be so weird. Like. Woah so they were raising me this entire time and they didn’t even have to? I should be more grateful...However he’s nervous to bring it up to his parents bc that means saying he did it behind their backs and didn’t trust them. Maybe he’ll just ask this Phil guy to clarify things?
Email: Hey uh so like, I have a great family don’t even worry about it, but as a joke I got a dna test and uhhhhh. Like I don’t know you, or even know if you want to know me, so you can ignore this if you want but. I think I’m related to you and am lowkey wondering what the story is behind it cause they never mentioned adoption. (PS plz don’t message my parents they might ground me for wasting my money on something stupid like this)
That’s great it covers all his bases, they’ll probably exchange like three emails and never talk to each other again, right. right.
Meanwhile Phil just received obvious bait and is fully prepared to murder whoever thinks they can get away with taunting him so flagrantly.
Techno doesn’t get a response and decides that the test was all kunk probably, or the guy just didn’t check his email, whatever it happens. It’s not like he really needs to know. And then two days later, he gets back from high school and is just chilling for a few hours before his parents get back really late at night at normal non-suspicious times. Techno drops his bag, casually walks along the places where the floorboards don’t creek, pours himself some cereal, sees the guy templeing his hands in the lazy boy, and screams.
Pours cereal down his shirt.
Phil is in maximum ‘I’m ready to kill you’ mode. Like super villain era radiating evil, rearranged the furniture for maximum dramatic entrance. And now has a freaked out teenager wielding a lamp at him.
Phil has to backpedal like crazy cause omg that’s actually his kid
Cannot get techno back to the same ease as actual MFR because this dude is in his House and clearly has a Gun
“Why would I come to America and not get a gun just in case” “Oh wait that’s reasonable”. Reveals the pic of the dna test techno sent him had image data so it took like two minutes to figure out the address, he was excited to see his kid and wanted it to be a surprise
Techno’s still on edge bc stranger in his house, and he never knows exactly when his parents get home the eagerness is a bit weird for a guy who put his kid up for adoption. But Phil is really nice and chill after that. Too nice. It makes Techno feel weird how many little compliments there are, on edge.
Phil asks maybe a little too many questions about his parents, a little too shrewd, but they’re both trying to figure out just how Techno got with the Piglins so it makes sense. And when Techno gets defensive over his parents, Phil backs off. It’s weird testing boundaries with his supposed Dad. Techno’s upfront with the fact he’s curious, but he’s basically an adult and isn’t interest in forging any family connections. Phil seems confused by that. Not like Techno’s been living with that gap for years tho
Time passes trading questions, Phil rambling about the twin Techno apparently has. Cool. Maybe he’ll get to meet that guy too. But Techno jolts when he hears the garage. But Phil adamantly refuses to be shepherded out of the house. And he doesn’t seem to take ‘I’ll get in trouble’ for an answer. And then his parents are freezing in the doorway. And there’s a pair of hands a bit too firm on Techno’s shoulders. And Phil’s smile suddenly doesn’t have a drop of warmth as he doesn’t introduce himself.
They go stiff, fingers tightening on Techno's shoulders until he can't help but shrug them off or risk bruises, nightmares coming to life before their eyes. Take a step back dragging Techno with them even as he tries to step between the threat(s). Go on the attack, ("What are you doing in my house.") even as one of them starts trying to pull Techno further away, as Phil takes a step forward with a dangerous flint in his eyes even as he keeps a veneer of politeness (no one is going to walk away with his son again.)
Techno’s only ever tasted that anger directed at him (was it always tinged with fear?). Of course he folds and complies to the escortion, but he does have to ask, “what’s wrong Dad?”
“That monster killed your baby brother.”
Confusion. Which baby brother, the twin that he's heard so much about, rescued from a family unimaginably worse than his own? The Piglin's child, a child he's heard nothing about and couldn't share his blood? Techno's gaze is evaluating, flickering between Phil and his parents, and of course there's only one side he can actually trust (only one that's safe to. Kindness has only ever steered him wrong).
The Phil calculations must be feverish rn. Cause 1. They’re trying to take kid away 2. Kid looks scared of him 3. Evil liars insinuating he bad dad kill Wilbur evil wrong 4. Techno is behind them right now blocked taken stolen but most importantly 5. Techno is clearly brainwashed by them and will get upset
Techno was probably hitting the ‘I trust my parents it was probably a hospital mix up’ angle pretty hard so Phil might’ve tentatively considered them conditionally blameless but to be investigated, until they accused him of baby murder
Philza didn’t walk into a trap without backup though. They can’t escape with Techno. Not a second time.
Unfortunately for him! The bullet proof vest doesn’t cover between the eyes.
Techno starts screaming as he watches his mom shoot the corpse of the Angel of Death over and over. But his Dad holds on tight, hissing to him that this is justice, that he’ll never hurt, never be hurt, again because the reason for it is dead. Techno starts hyperventilating realizing his parents have been armed his entire life. That even just once they might’ve killed him, didn’t though, they didn’t, he never once knew cause it’s not like they really wanted him dead or hurt too bad, blood, blood in the carpet, spilling, pouring from the fact that looks too much like his, the reason Techno is fundamentally wrong somehow, dead, killed, it’s over, something’s over, or is it beginning, he can’t tell, he’s dizzy, so very dizzy-
Problem is, the Syndicate still has them completely surrounded. Drawn in by the gunshots, the Piglins are pounced upon. The Syndicate, who last heard from Phil that there was a fake Alexander trap. A trap that clearly worked.
Techno is definitely messed up by the time new Syndicate leader Sam gets to him. But even through the blood the resemblance to his dead friend is clear. Sam though, that’s only ever been his boss’ obsession, not his. An obsession that got Phil killed. But, Sam plans to not follow Phil’s footsteps to the grave, and bottles that grief. He stages a quick ‘rescue’ and drops Techno off in the Craft mansion for protection, healing, and to fulfill his friend’s dying wish.
Leaving a newly traumatized Techno who is desperate to save his parents alone with a Wilbur half inheriting a vengeance and a crime organization and who just got told his other half just shattered his life, and Tommy who just got fully and permanently abandoned in a way that confirms all the worst of his father’s paranoia! fun times <3
Okay, not sure if it'll be a fic or not, but I was thinking about Monopoly family during my walk home.
Phil: Always the banker because no one else is trusted. Wins about 10% of the time. Likes the railroads. Has a disdain for the utilities.
Techno: Is probably taking this too seriously. Will not cheat unless he thinks someone else is cheating (more often than not); then all bets are off. Will exchange smaller bills for larger bills to silently flex. Didn't read the rules and went in blind for a decade and a half. One day read the rules, said "That's stupid, and continued on with the house rules Phil had taught him. Wins 88% of the time.
Wilbur: A little shit. Will cheat at every opportunity he thinks he can get away with. Stubborn. Refuses to do any good deals with Techno because he doesn't want Techno to get what he wants. Will give Phil way too good deals because he wants him to win. (The reason Phil is able to get that 10% average.) Will throw a fit if he doesn't get Boardwalk and/or Parkplace. Does flipping the table count as winning? If so, he wins 2% of the time. (Wilbur doing trades: I'll give you the red for park place. Techno: Fuck. Off. Wilbur: No red for you then. Father, I'll sell you the last green to complete your set for $200.)
Tubbo: Joined for 5 minutes, realized they weren't playing the game right, shoved the two properties he'd gotten at Tommy, and walked away.
Tommy: He would be loosing IF he was playing Monopoly, but he is, in fact, playing a completely different game of 'How much can I swipe from the board or other people without them noticing.' He'll steal anything: other players or the bank's money, property cards, houses and hotels, Phil's wallet. He has a cache under the couch he's sitting in front of for all of his spoils. Wilbur and Techno knock over the board because Techno insists Wilbur must have stolen a 500 from him. No one figures out that Tommy had actually stolen not only that but many other things. By the time they put the game away, Tommy has returned everything to the pile with them none the wiser. Tommy wins. Phil finds his wallet in the fridge later.
dark sbi au with psychotic techno knowing the vibes are Wack w dark sbi but chalking it up to his paranoia. Philza is a really smooth gaslighter, and Tommy is excellent and diverting the adhd brain. Particularly if Techno has had a bad history of mental health support, people dismissing all his fears because the source isn’t real even if the emotion is, constantly rebuking Techno for any indication of incorrect perceptions, threatening to pull finances or housing if he is a nuisance. Techno has zero trust in his ow judgement because he was so often told his feelings and concerns didn’t matter, and so just accepts what’s happening and keeps quiet about confusion because Tommy and Phil keep telling him it’s fine, or he’s misremembering things.
Since this turned into the schizophrenia Techno rec zone:
Evil Therapy au ficlet is closest, specifically Philza as Techno’s therapist weaponizing that role to make psychotic techno dependent on him for support
Mandatory Family Reunion. is a long fic (with one chapter left) where syndicate leader Philza had his son kidnapped as a baby. But luckily (for him and no one else) finds Techno once he’s an adult. Cue getting kidnapped by a criminal millionaire dotting father and developing many new mental illnesses about everything. Philza doesn’t know; but he DOES convince a lot of people Techno has hallucinations to avoid accountability for the dead bodies. While not knowing Technoblade is actively hallucinating bodies during conversations. Irony *jazzhands*
Rise up and make this city glow is a Niki centered fic. It doesn’t match this vibe so much- Techno is a mentor figure, but his deteriorated mental state is exploited (and induced) by the evil military using him as a human weapon.
I was making a video about my snake for an assignment and partway through editing I realized… this is my version of MFR Phil and his Techno powerpoint… what have I become.
hey buddy as long as you aren’t covered in blood the whole time you’ll hopefully be alright….? Or. Would the equivalent be covered in snakes?
Had a whole au idea behind this where techno is supposed to lead souls to the grim reaper so that they may pass on, but in dooing so techno became a sort of will-o-wisp creature himself. Anyways they are bff ;)
You didn’t choose this.
They deserve it.
It’s not your fault.
If only Tommy could believe that. Not all of the Red on his hands is blood, but it barely helps. His life at the SCP Foundation is routine: white walls and bland ‘food’ broken up only by visits with Philza if he’s lucky, doctors and researchers if he isn’t, and The Blade if he’s really, really unlucky. Survival has a cost, but rarely is it one he himself pays, and the guilt of what he's done is almost enough to convince Tommy that the Foundation is right to lock up dangerous anomalies like him.
But then one day a bee appeared in his cell. That’s not to say things got better, but, well, they certainly weren’t so mundane anymore.
Fault is a hurt/comfort long fic about a sleepy bois inc using the setting of the SCP Foundation. It initially centers Tommy and clingy duo before shifting to a rotating perspective adding Tubbo, Techno, Philza, Wilbur, and a large cast of side characters. It details the trauma and moral struggles of sbi and their encounter with the SCP Foundation that works to capture and….study anomalies. Themes/tropes include interrogations of guilt and blame, found family, heavy angst, dehumanization, and trauma at the hands of the Foundation and each other. Things get messy, but it’s all bound together with love at the end of the day.
the glow is sooo pretty and creepy, I love the twinkle in the wings. I wonder if it could use the rippling folds to blend into the floors and walls of sculk, ambush predator like?
