I lied.

Hello. Grayson 27 | Virgo | Demi/Bi | He/They/It

[meladoodle]

Hey welcome to my blog

lower your expectations immediately

[dailycatsblog]

[drst]

Heads up my trans and queer friends, do not participate in this study. Spread the word to stay away;

Skeet from Alejandra Caraballo that says: If you see this, don't participate. It's a rigged study by Lisa Littman and unethical researcher J. Michael Bailey meant to undermine access to care. Spread the word.

[nimashkawizii]

Concerns & Complaints: Institutional Review Board (IRB) Office - Northwestern University

[dragon-in-a-fez]

doctor: cure is simple. go see clown

chronically ill patient: but doctor, I'm seeing a clown right now and he's not helping

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the intended reading of this joke is that the doctor is being called a clown, but I also like people's alternate readings in the notes where a) the patient's partner is a clown, figuratively or literally, or b) the patient is hallucinating a clown everywhere they go

[bamjammy]

Today I met happiness

[charlesoberonn]

It wasn't there 😔

[slushyseals]

I'm not sure if "defect" is the right word. It is living it's life as a pillow. That's like, the dream.

Edit: After a little digging I believe that this species of starfish has a mutation that sometimes occurs, here's a different photo and "biscuit starfish" individual:

[goodfriendo]

raviolis

[enlightened-moth]

couldn't stop thinking about this lil granny square so I crocheted him:

:)

[queensnarf]

They said be there or be square and this guy didn't show up

[wigoutlet]

[aetherograph]

Girl I will put out a heated dog bed for u don't even worry about it.

[craftingcreatures]

Attended a rattlesnake conference yesterday and one of the presenters was talking about public attitudes towards snakes, specifically how showing them in a non-aggressive context helps to create more positive attitudes, and. Y'all. I NEED to show you the image he used as an example

Look at him. Look at this smiley newborn sidewinder sitting in a bottle cap. He is so small and so happy he is EXACTLY the right size to sit comfortably in a bottle cap

[vaporwavesimulator]

hey followers. have you ever wanted to know how it feels to be inside a bag of cornflakes

[officialtokyosan]

ye

[vaporwavesimulator]

enter the cornflakes domain

[runby2]

I fucking hate this website because not only did I click this goddamn link expecting it to be a joke of some sort, but it wasn’t a joke and I sat here spinning the screen around enjoying myself in a stupid bag of cornflakes like the dumbass monkey I am on Tumblr.com, enthralled by being in a bag of corn flakes in

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

ICE agents forced to flee Minnesota neighborhood due to car alarm alert system

Frustrated Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers fled a Minnesota neighborhood after residents alerted each other by triggering car a

Basically, people are using their key fobs to set off their car alarms when they see ICE.

This is effective for several reasons:

Obviously, it alerts everyone that something is wrong. Given ICE has been terrorizing Minnesota, people are likely to immediately know it is ICE. This gives people time to flee or barricade themselves in their homes.

ICE loses the element of surprise.

If one person hears a car alarm go off, they can trigger their own alarm, alerting even more people, but also making it really annoying for ICE. Annoying sounds petty, but it can be effective. Have you ever been in a building when a super loud fire alarm went off? It's very hard to concentrate. You can't hear much else. You just want to leave. ICE experiences this when a whole street if car alarms go off. Which means they make mistakes.

[eddieisanidiot]

This was how we were alerted to ICE attempting to gain access to our apartment building. This 100% works.

[veryberryskye]

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

[the-stew-goblin]

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

[veryberryskye]

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

[peachdelta]

get ready for the wedding

[thegeekgene]

Someone at an old job asked why I wanted to write up the meeting minutes for our team and I said 'i wanna control the narrative' and they were like 'what' and I pointed out that no one was gonna remember what we said in six months and so my interpretation of the meeting would dictate the assumed reality of what happened

"none of you ever send corrections when I offer the draft so y'all have consented to my version"

"we don't read that shit"

"you must trust me implicitly to create our shared reality that's so sweet"

That's how several coworkers decided I was a supervillain and how I learned several coworkers didn't understand record keeping as like a CONCEPT

[snarpreplies]

[kingscrown666]

[undeadentropy]

What a highly specific and devastating word

[dailyclassicart]

Hasui Kawase - "Snow at the Shrine Entrance, Hakone Gongen" (1949)

[oilpalette]

Japanese, b. 1883-1957

Watercolor; ink and color on paper

[luulapants]

Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence

Northern Cardinal, 4/10

I'm sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I'm pretty sure they're just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn't agree to participate in your kink, guys.

American Robin, 1/10

Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.

House Sparrow, 10/10

You're a gang. You're participating in gang violence. There's ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it's been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?

Tufted Titmouse, 1/10

A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor's garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.

European Starling, 9/10

Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it's always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you're an innocent bystander defending yourself. I'm onto you.

Carolina Wren, 3/10

This rating is not for physical violence, which you don't engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they're fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don't have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.

Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10

If this were "birds who think they're better than everyone else," you'd get 10/10.

Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10

It's a utility pole. It's not a tree. You're surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.

American Crow, unrated

For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you're right. None of my business.

Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10

Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.

Stay tuned for more criminal activity!

[luulapants]

(continued)

Common Grackle, 7/10

La Famiglia does not suffer you to stop in our neighborhood long, and I trust their judgement in this manner. You have the look of a guilty bird.

Tennessee Warbler, 2/10

You keep to yourselves, and I respect that. I get the sense that you could defend yourselves if it came to it, though.

Brown-Headed Cowbird, 3/10

You're not a crow, and eventually they ARE going to figure it out, kiddo.

Gray Catbird, 5/10

Would you. Respectfully. Would you shut the FUCK UP.

Eurasian Collared-Dove, 0/10

You're doing great, sweetie, everyone loves you.

Red-Breasted Nuthatch, 4/10

A comedian. A little jester of a bird. You're so silly. Sure sometimes you incite violence in others but, really, is that your fault? If it is, we forgive you.

Blue Jay, 12/10

If you could learn any human behavior you wanted, it would be how to build a bomb.

Honorable mention:

Turkey Vulture, 5/10

You weren't in my backyard, but you WERE eating roadkill in the street in my neighborhood. I know the animal was already dead when you got there, but you get violence points for frightening the small children that walked past you. Incredible work.

[auxryn]

This is why Tumblr is good.

[lawfulgoodness]

I immediately scrolled to the blue jay to decide whether or not I wanted to read the rest of the post. Once I realized that OP got that right, I went back and read the rest. 10/10 OP.

[feral-renaissance-cat]

I read this to my dad who sits on his porch and watches the birds and his only note is that he has seen multiple male cardinals attempt to fight their reflections to the death and should have a higher rating.

[someinstant]

OP is correct in all of these assessments, and I respect it.

[elodieunderglass]

Thank you so much @fozmeadows !

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

When I said I was going to watch Megamind last night, my roommate told me about how the surround sound in the theater where they saw it was so good, they thought the random citizen was in the audience behind them

and so they got

very scared when Metro Man responded

[spaceexp]

Jupiter’s South Pole, taken by NASA’s Cassini

[el-loves-writing]

I just finished an exam and I have a general question.

Think of an English word starting with ‘K’

My word actually started with ‘K’

My word started with ‘C’

Voting ended onFeb 3

Please reblog and put your word in the tags or put your word in the comments.