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@nonkillingowl
when she says she doesnāt send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes
#what the fuck happened here
This is my favorite post in all of tumblr
THE THRILLING SAGA
wHAT THE FUCK
IM
GONNA SWING
FROM THE CHANDELIERR
CHANDELIERRR
The 60th Eurovision is just over a month away
So its a good time for everyone to educate themselves on the best bits of the contestās history before it returns
Like the most important winners ever
The Russian Grannies
Donāt forget that Eurovison is the reason ABBA became famous
Then there was the time Ukraine absolutely lost its mind
The time Ireland lost its mind to an even greater extent and entered a puppet turkey
Frankly choose any British entry from the least 15 years and youāll see the United Kingdom lost its mind long ago
There were the Greek fishermen singing about whisky
The Romanian man affectionally dubbedĀ āgay opera draculaā
Iceland once entered a song that should have been the most obnoxious thing ever but was actually really darn catchy
That Turkish ship
After this song flopped the Czech Republic never entered again (though they are returning this year!)
And France sung a song entirely about moustaches
But its not all insanity, there are actually some genuinely beautiful songs sometimes - like Norwayās Alexander Rybak and his violin
This slower, genuinely beautiful song from the Netherlands
And of course, there is the Queen of Europe herself
Eurovison everyone
Eurovision
Hey Dustin the Turkey was a national treasure
OPERATION FUCK THE MOON
Law enforcement should use 4-year-olds to do interrogations.
Kid: who are you?
Suspect: I'm Bob.
Kid: why are you here?
Suspect: the cops think I killed my brother
Kid: why?
Suspect: I didn't kill him, he was my brother
Kid: why?
Suspect: because...he just was. We were both born from the same parents.
Kid: why?
Suspect: because we just were. Our parents had 3 kids.
Kid: why?
Suspect: they just did, okay? My brother and I were twins and then a few years later my little sister came along.
Kid: why?
Suspect: she just - look, never mind. I didn't kill my brother. I loved him.
Kid: why?
Suspect: why what - Why didn't I kill my brother or why did I love him?
Kid: why?
Suspect: I had no reason to kill my brother! Why would I want to kill my family?
Kid: Why?
Suspect: I wouldn't! I mean, we're not exactly the closest family but still...
Kid: why?
Suspect: just because.
Kid: because why?
Suspect: because I said so!
Kid: why?
Kid: whyyyy?
Kid: why why why why why why why why
Kid: whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywh-
Suspect: BECAUSE MOMMY AND DADDY LOVED MY BROTHER THE MOST
Kid: why
Suspect: he was born first! He was seven minutes older! I was always living in his shadow!
Kid: why
Kid: WWWWHHHHHHYYYYY
Kid: WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWH-
Kid: WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!
Suspect: BECAUSE HE KNEW I WAS A KILLER! I killed my family! I killed my brother!
I KILED THEM ALL!!!
Kid: why
Suspect: I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED
Kid: why
Suspect: I...I don't know.
Kid: ok. I'm gonna go play with my Legos
Head Detective: kid, we've been trying to crack this case for a year and you did it in 4 minutes.
Kid: can I have a lollipop now?
Head Detective: just one. Your mom doesn't want to ruin your dinner.
Kid: why
Head Detective: oh dear god
So my dad has this new idea: Take this wonderful wasabi thing
Turn it into beautiful, small rectangles, wrap it in laminated paper and put it in a trident box, so that itāll look like this:
Give it to someone when they ask you for gum and watch as their mouth burns. Enjoy.
This looks so much like my English teacher it's scary.
this gives me life
Literally one of the sickest things Iāve ever seenš
šš„šš„š
Fucking dead
for my spanish homework we had to translate a bunch of fake tweets and one of them was this
before any of use even bother translating weāre like hmm, wonder what that video is
so we type it in and sure enough
turns out the tweet translates to āif youāve never been trolled by this, you havenāt lived a good life.ā
i got memed on by my spanish homework
((OH COĆO, no me esperaba eso XāDDD))
good luck, crispies
OKAY IM GOING TO SAY SOME SHIT ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW. IT WORKED. IT FUCKING WORKED I WAS ON TUMBLR AND THOUGH āwell fuck it might as well i mean i need the fucking A in scienceā AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW 5 DAYS LATER I CHECK MY GRADES AND WHOOP DE FUCKING DO ALL MY CLASSES HAD A LEAST A B AND I GOT THE A IN SCIENCE
DUDE IT REALLY DOES WORK I passed my philosophy class with a C even though I missed 4 of the 6 quizzes and turned in my final paper a week late
you doubted? believe, crispies
MY NAME, IS FRICKIN MOON MOON. IāD BE THE MOST IDIOTIC WOLF. āOH SHIT WHO BROUGHT FUCKING MOON MOON ALONG?ā
the post that started it all
oh god
Never not reblogging.
Iāve only seen this post in screenshots
oh my god it is the legendary moon moon post
I am rogue claw, fear me
((RAVENOUS HUNTER BITCHEEEESSS))
EVERYONE who reblogs this will be insulted in Shakespearean fashion.
I am so looking forward to this ā¦
I GOT MINE BEING INSULTED HAS MADE MY NIGHT
EVERYONE
SHES NOT JOKING
Iām going to miss them
