Then On The Shore Of The Wide World I Stand Alone

Arthur He/Him Sometimes I try to be a poet and an artist. Hopefully that time is today.

[nooneknowsmeonhere]

John Keats

[nicoandindy]

so um, i watched the tv glow

i have genuinely never seen a movie mention feeling like something is wrong with you, and in the end you literally don't belong where you've spent your entire life. your entire world isn't real and all along you've been someone else across the television screen, buried, suffocating.

[pigswithwings]

the fascinating thing about being abused is that years later youre gonna be there sitting around going "okay so what now". cause like theres no instruction manual is there

[pigswithwings]

youre gonna be buying groceries and then youre gonna remember you went through all that for literally no good reason and youre gonna go Oh Okay and put paper towels in your bag or whatever

[catchymemes]

[the-enchanted-little-star]

[hellsite-yano]

Source

[the-enchanted-little-star]

[acutabovetherest]

[valentina-poem]

[the-enchanted-little-star]

[furiousgoldfish]

me trying to explain why I wasn't really abused and it was fine actually: Well my parents had no choice because you see, I was annoying and wouldn't listen and they had a lot on their plate, so even as I was five it was okay for them to act like I need tobe put down if I don't act triple my age immediately.

And the worst of it stopped when they realized I can retain memories and tell someone! That means they 'changed' and need to be 'forgiven'. No they never owned up to it and act like I'm a monster if I bring it up but you see,. They as grown adults don't know any better, so they have to gaslight and darvo me on every step, skill they perfected even as they don't know basic empathy, which is just a coinci-

Yes I have cptsd and wish I was dead every day, however this could be completely unrelated and because I am weak and overreact and have poor control over myself. Yes they told me that--

[gothredy]

[tomatoluvr69]

Get enough sleep get enough fiber get enough iron wear sunscreen every moment of every day dont get dehydrated don’t slouch brush perfectly floss too keep your tires full of air get your oil changed check your brakes and alignment get new tires get your yearly inspection get your yearly pelvic exam remember your flu and covid shot research the candidates for district attorney take your recycling to the curb on the right day try to limit red meat, alcohol, ultra processed food, sugar and sitting down don’t use screens before bed exercise constantly you’re not socializing or being touched enough meditate daily make sure your clothes are constantly acceptable wash your hair before there’s even a hint of grease don’t have any unsightly hair anywhere don’t drink foo much coffee or sugary drinks or carbonated drinks or anything with citric acid or your teeth will rot change your sheets every few days and your pillowcases daily and you should be also throwing out your pillows every year or two apparently don’t use any kind of cutting board due to the unique drawbacks of each available kind walk 15 min after every meal don’t eat right after brushing but also don’t brush thirty minutes after eating yet somehow brush your teeth every morning and be on time for work also and make sure you’re weight training and make sure you’re doing everything you can to prevent eventual osteoporosis and arthritis moisturize your skin every day keep your prescriptions filled try to avoid being stressed at all costs because it’s the silent killer prioritize your mental health but don’t let any of these habits slip and don’t lose your important documents and keep the batteries in your carbon monoxide detector fresh and deep clean your fridge often and clean your entire house often and exchange pleasantries with every acquaintance and keep yourself polished and presentable at work and stretch before bed every night and buy new kitchen sponges when they wear out and make sure you have laundry detergent and dish soap and olive oil and only eat healthy fats and make sure you’re doing everything to prevent the skyrocketing rates of colon cancer in young people and soak all your berries so that they actually get clean and wash all your produce and buy organic so you aren’t ingesting four million pesticides and avoid animal products but also eat a lot of lean meat and dairy for the protein and eat 30g of protein at every meal and prioritize whole grains and complex carbohydrates and moderate your sugar intake and replace your toothbrush every six months and your running shows every 90 miles clean your car out often and make sure no one smashes your tail light in the parking lot and keep a printout of your up to date proof of insurance in your glovebox even if you don’t own a printer and put a sizeable portion of each paycheck into retirement portfolio replace your windshield wipers and close your kitchen down every night and eat two servings of dark leafy greens per day and do all of this and still get enough rest so that you’re able to give the 40 hour workweek your all. And if you fail to do any of these things you’re a disgusting failure slob

[cityandking]

oc asks: not-so-nice edition

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

hunt: Who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert?

mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

nightmare: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself?

pain: What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

torture: Has your OC ever been tortured? Would your OC ever torture someone else?

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

[aurin-avenir]

📷 The Gathering Storm.

[cow-inthe-closet]

i think one of the worst parts of having an anxiety disorder is you can know your anxiety is fundamentally unreasonable and does not make any sense. but it doesn't help

[aldmeric]

They don’t tell you C-PTSD is a chronic illness. They don’t tell you you’ll get joint pain from lying and sitting in positions that are uncomfortable for too long while you were dissociating. They don’t tell you how you could do irreparable damage to your own body having a flashback. They don’t tell you about psychological seizures. They don’t tell you about hyperventilation. They don’t tell you about the brain damage. They don’t tell you about the awful digestion issues and the stomach pain and the nausea. They don’t tell you about the heart attacks. They don’t tell you about the muscle aches. They don’t tell you about the effects of sleep deprivation. They don’t tell you you’ll forget to feed yourself. They don’t tell you’ll constantly have to decide whether your body is exhibiting a symptom from your trauma or a symptom from an underlying illness that could kill you. They don’t tell you about the damage adrenaline does to your heart. They don’t tell you any of it, they’d rather you just think you’re crazy.

[letterful]