Noowts

new to tumbler

[annebronte-deactivated20210628]

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

[depsidase]

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

[noowts]

Wrong, Ogres are like onions

[dinomoder]

This is the best ad for Project Hail Mary I have ever seen. Like if I was on the fence about watching or reading it, this would convince me to do so.

[gay-mooshrooms]

[pineappical]

thinking about statues of Grace being built all around Erid years after his passing so he can continue to watch over Eridians as they sleep

[tpwrtrmnky]

hey so we added an option to this game. it's a weapon that's stronger than other weapons but it comes with a big drawback. not to worry though! if you get this build option, you can ignore the drawback entirely. wait. actually we have to balance the weapon around ignoring the drawback, so we're making it less strong. wait. now the ability to ignore the drawback is just an arbitrary tax for using a weapon that isn't meaningfully better than alternatives. wait---

[tadpole-art]

Landscaping

[mewvore]

Do not fall for the grindset mentality; jerk off and eat a hot pocket to recover spiritually

[greatlordfluffernutter]

Good point. We should jerk off and *throws dart* eat some pork bao. Or if you're vegetarian we could *spins comically sized wheel* eat some samosas. What's truly important is we have to jerk off. Together.

[greatlordfluffernutter]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[noowts]

Alright here's something wild

I had a nightmare where the blue boy from Avatar was running from Vic Makalis who kept asking the kid what state he was from, like a weird ass sport spotter. As the blue boy was running trying to find whatever he could to fight back, Vic had started to mutate into a giant monster from the alien plant life and spores.

And that's when I woke up

[meangirlnurse]

oh my god

[meangirlnurse]

[zachdefense]

[chortlebot]

remake of this classic

[newtonpermetersquare]

So that’s basically how it went down

[tricornking]

I resent just how fucking accurate this shitpost is, congratulations OP, you effectively illustrated how Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection became accepted by the wider public using a FUCKING MUPPETS MEME, here is your A+, get the hell out of my office

[yujateaandpi]

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

constantly making airy offhand comments to my preferred younger son about how he’s next in line for the throne after his brother but he still hasn’t killed my detested firstborn for me. kids these days have no fucking initiative.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I keep sending them off on “boar hunts” together and wouldn’t you know? they keep coming back after with big smiles and boar heads and the unmistakable stench of brotherly camaraderie. what sick sad days are these!

[dinocaptain]

two types of advisors

[flork-of-cows-official]

Santa

[noowts]

"well except for the part where everyone else will also be trying to kill you, there's also the fat thing, but that's not as much as a turn off for some people"

[kneatle]

I got the game and now I get to feed my miis cigarettes too. >:)

[noowts]

Fuck man that's too funny, I swear the sauce smear has more calories