We Salute Jacob Seed’s Flaccid Flag

Far Cry 5 Sideblog for the Worst of the Best content (flag in my icon is Er*ct*le Dsyfunction Pride). I’m a grad student. Want to support my Hot Takes? Buy me a ko-fi at https://ko-fi.com/A351164M

[noseedisvalid]

FC5 imagines Jacob Seed gifting your Deputy a Valentine’s rose:

[noseedisvalid]

you’re back tho!! 😍

[noseedisvalid]

Been outta the fandom for a long time for phd reasons; just found out about this Joseph Seed DLC. I’m looking back and forth, checking to see if Trump is still president

[noseedisvalid]

Canon stink lines Jacob Seed

[rookisaknight]

Actually hold on Im trying to see something, reblog this with your favorite Seed sibling and your birth order in the tags (oldest, youngest, only child, etc). For instance my favorite's Jacob and I'm an oldest child.

[noseedisvalid]

The reality of pairing Jacob Seed, aged 47, w/ your hot, young Junior Deputies:

[jaeheydaris]

[noseedisvalid]

The best response to this post in years. 

[noseedisvalid]

'Far Cry 5' Helped Me Escape Real Life, Until It Didn’t

What started as just another game quickly became a soothing window to home—and all the ugliness that comes with it.

Revisiting Far Cry 5 in 2020! 

[noseedisvalid]

Back from the dead for a few min to let you know I’m playing a game called Arcade Spirits, where you can romance a Tumblrized Jacob Seed who is independently wealthy, British, and addicted to children’s arcade games

[noseedisvalid]

all the Junior Deputy Beckkalyn OCs when you say Seed Brother of Choice is probably racist and can’t fuck good

[highend-fade]

The ONLY reason someone should be fucking a Seed brother is to immediately laugh at them when their dick doesn't work and then kill them. No I don't take criticism

[adreamingofguns]

The only one whose dick works is Joseph but he's two pump chump and you will get pregnant because he doesn't know how to pull out. And bold of you to assume John isn't the one getting his ass wrecked in this hypothetical sexual situation. But yes, Jacob's dick does not work. Full stop. His dick is deader than Miller.

[noseedisvalid]

retelling the life of Jacob Seed through Mitski songs

[absolutelymeg-deactivated202002]

Me when I found out Jacob was in charge of the choir.

[noseedisvalid]

Hi, am i losing my mind and the wiki has changed josephs age from 44 to 42 and jacobs from 47 to 44, or did i just so readily accept your headcanons for their age that i forgot the wiki was that off?

Immfmmckfksksjsns someone has a bone to pick (unlike Jacob Seed). John de-aging his brothers to make plausible that he is “”””32”””””

Jacob has to be at least 46 to have fought in the Gulf War. Whoever edited this implies he either enlisted while underage or stole his valour

[noseedisvalid]

Not on here a lot anymore, but I still think of Jacob Seed saying “pipes are clean; ready to rut” constantly in a subconscious level

[closecry]

i just realized I have too much power

(2 quotes are directly from @noseedisvalid and the rest are inspired by their blog)

[noseedisvalid]

Omggggg I’m just seeing this sjsjsjjssjss thanks!!!!!!!

[noseedisvalid]

Happy 2020! I’m never on here anymore bc Life but I appreciate the friends I have here and the soft seed days are still on my mind. May you gave a soft entry into the new decade!

[noseedisvalid]

i'm dangerously stupid and have access to the internet so i'm writing a shitty one shot that my friend and i whipped up that includes weed, john's coat, theft, tears, and lucky charms. but your posts literally shaped my entire characterization of john so!!! thank you!!!

OMG I’m not on here as much because PhD life, but thank you so much! Please feel free to share when you’re done!!!! 

[volchiitsass]

lana, the first // lana. christ in heaven what they did to you. the fact they could make you believe all that nonsense, make you forget yourself so hard. forget your own name? how, lana? what did he say to you? what kind of fucking dirtbag blood ritual could make you think your name was “faith”? doesn’t matter how, i guess. he told you you were special, but in the end he threw your body in here to disintegrate in the boiling muck, like a common angel.  

selena, the second //  you’re not the first one, selena. you’re not the first woman he’s used up and thrown away. for years I’d been hearing this faith seed was tall as her brother, with black hair.  couldn’t miss her. and then I saw you in one of their trucks last week, yellow hair in the breeze, and heard them calling you faith. he thinks he can just SWAP YOU OUT.  like you don’t got a brain of your own. god knows who you are, and so do you. selena, i love you.don’t lose yourself to this.

rachel, the last // rachel, i’m sorry but being called faith is cheesy at best and spooky at worst. can we just meet and talk (on MY TURF)? i’m tired of this 19th-century-ass writing shit. i know joseph is reading these too. look, if you’re so sure about all this like you say, you should be able to handle a simple conversation with a friend. if you don’t show up you know what i’ll think of the situation. tracey.

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