I'm going to fix everything in the next three hours everyone wish me luck. if i dont then probably ill dig a hole and lie down in it for a bit in the rain/sun/whatever outside looks like these days
the hole isnt even that bad
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Claire Keane
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Product Placement
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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ojovivo
noise dept.

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
The Bright Sessions

Love Begins
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KIROKAZE

if i look back, i am lost
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@noseriouslyimnothigh
I'm going to fix everything in the next three hours everyone wish me luck. if i dont then probably ill dig a hole and lie down in it for a bit in the rain/sun/whatever outside looks like these days
the hole isnt even that bad
My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.
Shoutout to people in the notes also mentioning people learning the language, I should've mentioned that really, given that I've been stuck reading German picture books myself while learning German.
how you doing today boss?
I am on the cusp.
the cusp of what?
I don’t know. But it’s looming.
same animal btw
See it's things like this that make me understand how easy it was for people to think werewolves existed.
pain that is immediate and identifiable can be somewhat of a mercy
My first time doing chine-collé!
I accidentally made Grace's head too small and had to briefly decapitate him but luckily it's not too visible on the prints
↓ here's some more backgrounds I did ↓
and the linocut block ↑
the book people said that I need to write a "Dear Reader" postcard, but this is all I have so far
the book people said this is alright but that it’s too short, so this is maybe what I’ll add to it
@theshitpostcalligrapher “death of the author requires you to kill me” goes pretty damn hard right?
oh heallll yea
ink: ferris wheel press, cloak and forest
by the way, this is the illustration I did for the other side of the card
with calligraphy courtesy of @theshitpostcalligrapher
they should invent a term for shipping were I don't think they should be in a romantic relationship however I believe they are each others parasite and separating them is not an option
the spirit is willing but the flesh is so fucking out of it rn. actually the flesh would like to pack it up and leave. it's done with the horrors.
I'm very worried about how out-of-touch the general population is getting with food. I was talking to a friend today and mentioned how I was excited to have wild muscadines growing beside my blueberry bushes again, and (after I explained what muscadines are) they asked if they were safe to eat. Do you guys know where fruit comes from? If not, I may also have some very alarming news about my cattle.
Screw it. Welcome to my masterlist of ways to make your own food.
Your mileage may vary with some of these, but I've tried to include things that can be used across many different living situations & budgets. I promise these things are easier than you think! Your ancestors did them for thousands of years, and you're living proof that they were doing something right.
And as a reminder: There's no act too small here. All three of the pictures below contain something that has been in my belly by this point, with varying levels of investment & effort. 👇
Gardening
Outdoor
Beginner Gardening Guide 101 - A great list of links for beginning your garden, including in urban environments.
What to Plant Now - Learn what plants are best to grow in your specific climate zone.
Common Sense Gardening Advice for the Beginner
Landscaping & Gardening in Arsenic and Lead Contaminated Soil
Best Vegetables to Grow for Beginners
Growing Vegetables in Containers - EXCELLENT page to check out if you want to use pots instead of growing directly into the ground. There's a whole list of container-happy crops and their preferred sizes.
Indoor
Indoor Gardening for Beginners: An Ultimate Guide - Pretty comprehensive guide. They discuss a lot of the different options you've got when it comes to indoor gardening.
How to Grow Vegetables Indoors (Easy Beginner's Guide)
How to Grow an Indoor Survival Garden - Yeah preppers get kinda weird with it, but this guide has some great tips on grow lights, drainage, containers, etc.
(The next few bullet points are going to be specifically on hydroponics because I'm a nerd and I LOVE hydroponic gardens. They're super easy to maintain. I have one in my kitchen for growing herbs. <3)
A Beginner's Guide to Hydroponics - VERY good place to start!
DIY Hydroponic Garden - If you don't want to buy a pre-built hydroponic garden, this is also a really solid option. It's basically just a storage tub, water bubbler, and grow light.
Preserving Food
Everything here is a huge help for cutting down on food waste!
Root Cellaring for Beginners - On the pricier end of these projects, but often worth it if you plan to grow a lot of stuff. I <3 root cellars.
Quick Pickling 101 - If you want to start pickling stuff, start here. Quick pickling is your gateway. Just keep in mind that quick pickled foods have a shorter shelf life since they aren't properly canned.
Preserving Food and Canning for Beginners - Goes over water bath and pressure canning. Water bath canning in particular is pretty easy to get into.
Curing Onions for Storage
The Dos and Donts of Harvesting, Curing, and Storing Garlic
4 Simple Ways to Dry Herbs - I often just microwave mine, lol.
Salt Curing for Beginners
Simple Homemade Staples
Yes, you can make this stuff!
Farmer's Cheese - If you have milk and vinegar, you have cheese. I make this stuff all the time, especially if I've got a lot of brine leftover from a pickle jar.
Ricotta Cheese - Milk and lemon juice. Yummm.
Vanilla Extract - Also only two ingredients. My fellow Americans, please visit a Mexican grocery store for the best vanilla beans.
Beginner French Bread - I like to recommend this to people who haven't baked with yeast before. Yeast opens up a whole world of possibilities.
The Basics of Sourdough - Full honesty here, I hate sourdough. But my sister loves it, and I like watching people treat their starter like a pet. If you've ever wanted to own a slime, sourdough might be the perfect option fro you.
Homemade Pasta Dough
How to Make Vinegar from Scratch
How to make Yogurt at Home - Infinite yogurt hack.
Homemade Butter
Failproof Homemade Mayonnaise
Animal Husbandry & Meat
I'm just linking some very basic small animal stuff here, but raising your own meat animals is awesome and I strongly encourage it if you're in a position where it's possible. Just do your research and PLEASE connect with more experienced people!
Beginners' Guide to Keeping Chickens
Raising Rabbits for Meat: A Comprehensive Guide
Quail Basics for Beginners
How to Render Fat and Why
Tanning Rabbit Hides
Foraging, Hunting, & Fishing
This is the part where I beg you to please learn about your local ecosystem and laws before you try any of this. Particularly for hunting and fishing, you NEED to get licensed and learn with someone who knows what they're doing. Also idk anything about hunting laws outside the US, so I'm very sorry but this is going to be America-centric. </3
Foraging: a How-To Guide
How to Start Foraging - Really good guide for showing how to safely & ethically forage.
US State Hunting Websites - In the US, every state is a little different about its hunting rules. Know your region, and know your seasons. Most hunting seasons will have restrictions on harvest number, permitted weapons/methods, and animal size. Game wardens do not fuck around.
(I won't go over hunting methods themselves, because that's a huge category and you probably shouldn't learn how to shoot a rifle from a Tumblr post. I'm a compound bow weirdo anyway.)
Field Dressing a Deer for Beginners - Gore warning, obviously. I will note that this guide instructs you to remove the genitals from a buck. If you're in a state that requires you to keep the sex intact, don't do that.
^ If you're not good at this and you plan on eating the meat, please just keep the whole animal intact and pay a processor to do it for you. Otherwise you are going to get deer hair all over the meat.
Butchering and Preparing Wild Ducks
8 Rules of Roadkill - Good tips on the legality & safety of harvesting roadkill.
Getting Started with Fishing for Food - This is another thing I recommend learning with someone who has more experience, but this guide is a great way to get started.
Federal Fishing Rules and Regulations by Region - Fish law. Again, game wardens do not fuck around.
Composting
Now that you've done all of the above, here's what you do with the leftovers.
Composting at Home
Composting for Beginners
The Absolute Begginer's Guide to Composting
And thus the cycle begins again!
Enjoy your food hacks. If you want more suggestions or notice something stupid here, let me know.
this is the plot of every fanfic of theirs that i've read basically
2 - Rainbow bearded thornbill
giving Simon a lil whimsy
i haven't been this insane in years. perhaps never before
(via File Photo)
WTF are those obelisks on the right?…
Tasty obelisk fries..
“It’s digestible” has got to be the laziest goal I’ve ever seen achieved by a food product.
“It’s digestible”
“It’s digestible” is pertinent!! Okay, for those of you who haven’t researched Crisco for writing fic about gay sex in the mid-late 60s:
The first-edition of The Joy of Gay Sex, published in 1977, declared, “Vegetable shortening may be the best lubricant, since it is not only greasy but also digestible”[4] Such a statement perhaps gives new meaning to the companies boastful declarations that “Its digestible” and “Crisco has been making life in the kitchen more delicious for years.” Similarly, in the 1978 sex manual The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, Crisco even earned an entry in the book’s index. Discussions of the shortening’s use as an anal lubricant indicate its popularity, with statements such as: “The lubricant, typically the cultic Crisco, must be copious.”[5] In fact, Crisco was so synonomus with gay sex that discos and bars around the world took on the name, such as Crisco Disco in New York City, which was one of the premiere clubs during the 1970s and early 1980s. Other clubs or bathhouses, such as Club Z in Seattle, even featured murals with Crisco. Thus, Crisco was conversely also one of many things that led to the formation of gay identities during the 20th century.
from this essay: http://www.columbia.edu/~sf2220/TT2007/web-content/Pages/drew2.html
The more you know! :D
I have learned a new thing today.
Love this post for so many reasons but most especially because this is from all the way back in 2012 and and yet not a single blog in this thread is deactivated
I enjoy that not only does this have a link to an actual source, but the link still fucking works.
but @rhea314 you didnt include a picture of the crisco disco! AND MY GOD THE DJ BOOTH WAS A GIANT CRISCO CAN!
Go dance and get fisted. Fucking iconic.
Love the gay history, but i just wanna correct that the “it’s digestible” in the gay stuff was a reference to crisco’s tagline it had been using since 1911, the actual meaning of its digestible is because it’s main competition came from “enhanced” lards which were rendered pig fat mixed with non food thickeners that literally did not digest and caused people to basically just shit out pig cream, since crisco was veggie based the body digested it along with the food
And in case you were still wondering, @mudwerks.. Tuna Croquettes
This post is the opposite of net zero information. Not only did I learn several new facts about gay history but also we rounded our way back to the original question of the tag line and the mini obelisks.
It’s a net profit of information. 12/10 post
those eyes sure opened up
stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day
guess what post just got read aloud in poetry club tonite by an unknowing club member as I watched on in terror