pj

follow me on twitter (@noshamealpa)! I'm more active there. she/they

[noshamealpa]

instead of brain there's them

[noshamealpa]

Chief Editor Yae Miko

[noshamealpa]

gimme moar shenjin content pls

[noshamealpa]

[noshamealpa]

i needed to draw more men

[noshamealpa]

[nipuni]

Ningguang 😊 from Genshin Impact

[noshamealpa]

[noshamealpa]

i miss him

[noshamealpa]

reference down below <3

[noshamealpa]

[noshamealpa]

for someone who spent over a year without posting or doing any art related stuff, I am a drawing machine right now

[noshamealpa]

[noshamealpa]

- give it back

[ikethecoco]

Remade the jjk ch150 panel in my art style!

[noshamealpa]

most of the time I feel so hopeless and dissatisfied with what I do and how I'm so inferior to others, especially when it comes to art and drawing. something that made me so happy in the past now it makes me feel like a stinky piece of shit that stayed five days in the sun and it's already hard, because even though I know that to evolve I need to practice more and more, I don't have the patience and am too anxious to put time into it when I don't really see any evolution happening. I know I would evolve so much faster if I just stop for a minute, set up a study schedule, and follow it rigorously, but I also know that even if I did this, I would give up in a week or two. anyway, I get scared because I can't see myself doing anything else in the future, but like, I don't even know if I have a future, the only thing I think about when I imagine myself ten years from now, is me seven feet on the ground, in a coffin, dead for I don't fucking know how long.

sometimes I think about slowing down a bit and letting the gears run normally in my head to see if I can find a solution to my problems, but at the same time I do that, i feel bored, slow and quickly fall asleep. my brain needs the speeeed

Idk just wanted to vent out a little lol drawing makes me nervous and keeps me up at night while I torture myself to think I'll never be good enough

anyway, i'll probably end up giving up on life in the next 3 years or something so i don't even know why i keep thinking about it so much

bye I'm going to sleep my four hours of sleep per day

[noshamealpa]

today I offer you the nail lady, tomorrow? who knows