Person recording: “Is this thing even on? All I can see is my ( I can’t make this out tbh ).
Right, welcome to the virtual view of our flat, this is the living room. All this is coming with us since the flat comes unfurnished.
There’s the bins just outside the living room window, that’s lovely in the summer when it’s hot.
Ant bate station ‘cause there’s ants.
That fireplace doesn’t even work.
Here’s some shelves. The uh boy who put them in must’ve been drunk when he did it, ‘cause there’s about a 30 degree angle on them.
Electric hob and oven that’s complete pish. (pish is just slang for piss. hob means stove top)
Washer-dryer, although not really a dryer unless you like your clothes still wet and smelling a bit funny.
These shelves are also coming with us. I think the uh boy who did the living room did the kitchen as well ‘cause he only did fucking half of it.
Extractor fan! [sounds like a leaf blower] When you put it on, you can’t even hear yourself fucking think!
I got locked in the kitchen about half a year ago ‘cause the door handle broke, and the boy who came out to fix it just pulled it out.
The bathroom! Shower, bath, sink, toilet.
When we first moved in this extractor fan wasn’t even working and I had to take a video of it not working before the landlady would send someone ‘round to fix it.
The same clown who did the shelves in the living room did this floor cause it’s like walking around the fun-house at links market. (links market is a street fair)
Out to the garden- eh- oh this door gets stuck in the winter cause the wood expands. A big bawheid who built it. Didn’t think of that, did he. (bawheid is a word for a stupid/unpleasant person)
This is the garden. It was an absolute hellhole when we arrived and we’ve completely renovated it.
These plants are all ours, we’ll be digging them all out before we go. Place will end up looking like the somme. (referring to the battle of somme?)
Marvel at this feat of engineering- three separate fences, all pish.
This is our rat box, ‘cause there’s a terrible rat problem. Not that it makes any difference. You could feed them plutonium and the little bastards would still keep coming back.
This is the bedroom. That blinds’ ours. There’s a damp problem up here, I told the landlady about it and she sent an email back saying to keep the place well ventilated, in fucking January!
Oh, sorry, one last final thing. This wardrobe, that’s ours, it’s coming with us. Don’t vote Tory. The murdering- ”
if anyone has any corrections, let me know and I’ll edit this! this is my first time making a transcript for anything, and seeing as im from the american south i dont have the most intimate knowledge of scotland. still, hope this helps!
clarifications thanks to i-am-eurus-holmes and kampireviller
