hello vonnie

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@notabrobro
I like to keep an eye out for bumper stickers whenever I'm on a walk. Here are a few of my favorites
Really enjoying the scritches
dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing peopleās faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jermaās face so fucked up looking that it couldāve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as āa tuesday
Like this?
two more
clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after
clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling
cousins and coworkers are addicted to getting pregnant
I fucking love this video
no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed
goes crazy
king
King
āPack it up boys weāve made a social blunderā is the funniest sentence Iāve ever read ššššš
farcille isn't "toxic yuri." nothing remotely toxic about them, they both treat each other with a great deal of care and affection and respect. just because marcille is willing to do forbidden necromancy and arguably cannibalism for her wife doesn't make her toxic that's just what you do for a woman with broad shoulders
Theyāre calling me every slur under the sun over on twitter for this post
Would you sell liquor to this baby
Yes
No
I donāt think life begins at contraception but Iād still sell liquor to baby
Wait hold on rb canceled thatās the wrong word wait no stopļæ¼
https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw
ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.
The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.
"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.
Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasnāt open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.
Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.
We did not ask for the inspectorās report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."
I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.