whoooaaaaaa what the helllll

hoo!! hoooooo!

[pukicho]

If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise 

[luteyandthemermaid]

i beg to differ 

[pukicho]

Then Beg

[userboxer]

[hakuteeth]

Me as hozier liking this tweet

[turing-tested]

i just accidentally absentmindedly ate a whole fucking apple. like i didnt even realize i was eating it until it was all gone. one moment it was in my hand and i guess my brain went: C O N S U M E

[turing-tested]

this is the scariest fucking reply anyones ever left on any of my posts what the fuck

[prideprejudce]

it’s officially spring which means porridge weather is over and hozier is finally done making his oatmeal and can now again release MUSIC 

[thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001]

ok fuck the pope n all that obviously but this is literally SO fucking funny in so so many ways

[xmenlesbians]

Flat Bigfoot Theory: They’ve never caught him on camera because he turns 90 degrees and becomes too thin to see. 

[xmenlesbians]

Flat Earth Theory is OUT, Flat Bigfoot Theory is IN

[wanghedi]

This is the THE hottest take I’ve ever heard

[glamtastique]

[notagaycommie]

guys i’m somehow driving behind my own car

[saddest-cat-hours]

[sandsvendor100]

Jesus Never Died

[sandsvendor100]

He Tucked His Arms And Legs Into His Belley. Curled Up Into A Ball. And He Just Rolled Away

[ambientwitch]

hey any other gays have to position your legs at odd and slightly uncomfortable angles for no reason while sitting in a chair of any sort

[for-southendgirls]

[gr8writingtips]

writing tip #2081:

conversations are a lot like teeth. you can only have so many

[gr8writingtips]

[mamoru]

I had a dream that unless the teacher told us class was over, we were forbidden from going out the door. Our teacher was very forgetful, and maybe even malicious. After being forced to stay past sunset many days, my class decided we were going to break out every night. Eventually our attempts led us to discovering rifts in space-time where we could warp. So we never used the door. Checkmate.

[turbro]

the window

[mamoru]

what? you going to critique my dreams? my subconscious creations, that I did by accident, while asleep? the chemicals in my brain? are you going to use your foul eyes and dissect all of the plotholes in my dreams? you going to critique the weather? harass the clouds? make fun of thunder for being off key? remind me to come to your house and shred your shoes

[lovesjustachemical]

That response is fucking Shakespearean.

[peaceful-phoenix]

This is the school-smart lesbian reblog to pass your finals

[igotmyownback]

[steelplatedhearts]

[juwudas]

hes so gay…..

[lullsoft-remade]

who

[juwudas]

the boy reading this….

[mddfitn]

Damn you right