do it or you’re fired
Holy shit dude, that’s raw. Reminds me of the time I was kidnapped by my ex friend with benefits back in 2019. He immediately regretted it. Dude knocked me over the head and brought me back. He didn’t even have any plans. He just wanted to chill. He said he was too shy to ask or something. He’s my EX friend with benefits for a reason, you know. Dude was pretty insane.
Anyway his name was Nemo, he was this huuuuuuuuuuuge capitalist. Super into trickle down economics and shit, his dick was big though. But that’s private! I’m not going into that. Anyway back to why this post reminded me of him. When I woke up I was all bandaged up already and Nemo apologized, he asked if I wanted to watch SpongeBob with him. I said sure, why not. Not even in fear or anything. I wasn’t scared. I’m always prepared to die at any moment, no matter what. Never in my life have I feared death. I’ve been reborn so many times, death isn’t that scary when you know what happens after it and your friends do as well. This was before I even had a crush on Nicole so I didn’t even have that regret punch in me. I was just like sure, ok, why not Nemo, let’s watch SpongeBob.
He put in a DVD and we watched the entirety of season 5.
This cover art always fucked with me. Nemo sat back in his shitty old hand-me-down couch that his mother gave birth to him on and I sat on the floor. Every single time Plankton appeared, he’d go into a hysteric state until he left. He’d rock back and forth all like “SpongeBob, you have to kill him. SpongeBob, kill him or he’ll kill you first, Spongebob…” Shit like that over and over. After the 13th time this happened I told him to shut the hell up. He started crying super hard and he said he’s gone into these states when he sees Plankton ever since he was little. He explained that he feels a compulsive urge to watch SpongeBob, and if he resists it for long enough, his body acts against his own will and he puts it on. I was like damnnnn dude, lol, wanna come over to my house and smoke a fat one? So he drove me home and we smoked some weed. He’s in jail for shoplifting a bunch of sports jerseys because they had the number 69 on them from Dick’s Sporting Goods now by the way
