Notthemuse

I realised how much I’ve existed and how less I’ve lived.

[notthe-muse]

The Downunder

And when I’m six feet under,

The bugs start to eat me.

All they will taste is resentment to the monster I became.

Because you were a cigarette and I was a smoker.

Destroying everything my mother built me for.

Now all that stands is the torch I used to set fire.

My soul would haunt me till the ends of time while I’d spread my arms,

Welcoming the destruction like a madman.

And when I’m six feet under,

The bugs resume to eat me.

All they will taste is fear.

[notthe-muse]

The Big Three

[notthe-muse]

The Stranger

We’re like two blues pretending to not know each other

I lived so carefully thinking someone was watching but the stage was empty

I let go of my need to protect my responsibility

I was always afraid to take. So I gave. Mistake it not for virtue for it was a disguise too fake

A human soul is shallow because it doesn’t pretend to be good, so instead- I became the sea. So raw, so deep

“Give me your black heart, give me all of you.” Called from a distance.

Black heart. I knew that voice of whiskey, sex, and messy sheets.

You called after me as I left-

Perhaps in another lifetime we will meet again and you would be mine until the poets run out of rhyme.

In other words, until the end of time.

[notthe-muse]

The Death & Life

I am a human and I want to be dead.

The thought of my body going bad like a stale bread

Gurgles the pit forming in my stomach

The symbol of life flicked off like a light switch.

The black nothingness of eternal surrender.

The thought of taking my own life itches and sickens me

All I could do is wait for the moon to go up in flames and the sun to crumble.

The eternity that earthlings talk about is humorous

They think love could be powered and used

Perhaps it’s time to wake up and acknowledge

Death brings peace, life brings chaos.

[notthe-muse]

The Delinquent

I’m not a rebel

I am just tired of sleeping to escape the day

Tired of laughing when it aches

The butterflies have left

The flowers have died

And now the moon is up in flames

I am not a rebel

I’m just tired of saying “I’m fine”

Tired of this routine that I have set for myself

As destruction nears I feel the need to live

Spread my arms and embrace the wind

open my eyes and survive

I am not a rebel

I’m just tired of defining hell and heaven when it truly exists where I live

Tired of the journals I have to write just to hide my tears

I am just misunderstood

I am not a delinquent

I am just a child navigating my way through hell

[notthe-muse]

The Choice

To love another being is fine

But to love a god is divine

With a being you have a lake

But with a god you have a whole ocean to drown in.

Loving a being and a god are like the two blues

To love a being is to be Icarus where the sun is your fate

To love a god is like an ocean- deep, drowning and infinite

To love a being is to let go

To love a god is to be worshipped until the sun dies and the moon crumbles

Loving a being comes with rules

Loving a god has no terms, just a magnetic pull

To love a being is to be mediocre

But to love a god is to be the goddess

Loving a god is like the sun loving the moon

Passionately and until the end of eternity

To love a being

To love a god

Choose your choice, but beware for what you have to lose.

[notthe-muse]

I’ve realised how much I’ve existed and how less I’ve lived.

The trees swayed, clouds hovered, the birds chirped. All I did was move on. I never stopped to notice how green the leaves were, how colourful the flowers were. All I did was do what I was told. And life slowly lost its meaning.

I’ve realised how less I’ve lived and how much I’ve existed.