TW Ed

Just random crap Tw for ed and some other stuff like depression, anxiety, childhood trauma etc. She/Her 5‘10 bmi:18.5 Cw: 129.0 next gw:125

[novemberraincloud]

Back on my bs.

[novemberraincloud]

I have been stuck at 133.8lbs for like a week now and nothing seems to work.. I think I’ll try to get in 20k steps today while omad then fast tomorrow and pray for a miracle🙃

[novemberraincloud]

I fit into a xs skirt today, from a store where I used to struggle fitting into a medium😳

It fit perfectly and idk how to feel about it, of course I’m proud and ig I’m kind of skinny now but I still feel so fat and disgusting.. I need to loose so much more weight and maybe then I’ll finally feel pretty🥰 yeah the lie I told myself a million times before but idc.

[cyberglittter]

janinazais

[novemberraincloud]

haha last night I was pretty drunk and confessed my feelings to my crush🤡

I’m literally crying rn because I’m so embarrassed💀

Well at least that’ll give me a reason to starve

[novemberraincloud]

I really want to die✨✨

[novemberraincloud]

Hi I’m back after like 7 months..

Was tired of tumblr and then I ,,tried to recover for like 2 months‘‘ yeah that obviously didn’t work out so I’m back:)

I somehow lost like 5 pounds while trying to recover so that’s fun ig.

[purplepigeonphilosophy]

tag urself <3 part 2

[anxietyproblem]

[nobodyfamousposts]

I’m in this meme and I don’t like it.

[3arth2kat]

insomnia be like

[novemberraincloud]

I hate new year’s bro it’s 2:10 am and I’m sick of this year already.

I don’t even bother making any new year’s resolutions because I never stick to them anyway.

I thought about quitting smoking but what did I do at 00:01? smoking a cigarette…

Losing weight is another popular resolution but it’s one I make every year and it never works anyway so why bother??

Honestly I just want to die.

[novemberraincloud]

Haven’t binged in 22 days btw.

[novemberraincloud]

I keep gaining and losing the same 10 pounds over and over again.

I’m so done😃

[catwithaknife]

i hate seeing pro-ana/mia scumbags tell impressionable children that “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”, because that lie (and a few others) really helped bring to life an eating disorder i still haven’t recovered from a decade later.

do you want to know how ‘skinny’ really feels?

‘skinny’ feels like going from captain of a sports team to someone who nearly faints so much that they become the only student in the school to be removed from PE class.

‘skinny’ feels like bombing all of your exams because you’re too hungry to think, and never actually managing to finish school.

‘skinny’ feels like dead eyes, dull hair, yellowed teeth and premature ageing. it feels like aching joints, a million bruises, and no resistance to heat or cold.

‘skinny’ feels like being too preoccupied with your body to enjoy your youth or even allow yourself to be photographed with the few remaining friends who can tolerate your spaciness and food freakouts.

‘skinny’ feels like endlessly waiting for the day when you’re finally light enough to be worthy of love, and weighing your current hunger against this vague point in the future that never comes, because even if you reach the weight you thought you needed to be it still won’t be enough.

‘skinny’ feels like being told you’re too bony to hug.

‘skinny’ feels like watching everyone else live happy, healthy lives while you can’t even do laundry without getting lightheaded, and wondering if you can undo any of the damage you caused by malnourishing yourself for years.

i thought that starving myself would somehow fix my life, but all it did was make things worse. i’m 25 years old and i haven’t really accomplished anything since i was 15. people my age are doing things like graduating from university, getting married, having children, and getting cool jobs, and i’m just trying to convince myself that it’s okay to eat more than 1000 calories a day.

don’t listen to the pro-anas. weighing less isn’t worth risking your future. please eat.

[novemberraincloud]

one and a half months binge free like omg😳

[shebloomedbutwontforgethepast]

And after a while you just stop. You stop watering your plants. You stop watching netflix. You stop reading. You stop replying to your friends as fast as you used to. You stop buying yourself nice things. You stop putting an effort into how you look. You stop taking care of yourself like you used to. You stop sleeping. You stop eating healthy foods. You stop petting your dog. You stop socializing.

You stop with everything. You find yourself sitting in your room for hours on end, without doing a single thing. Days feel like years. And you think you can’t do it for much longer.

[novemberraincloud]

I haven’t weighted myself in like 2 months and i am terrified.

[novemberraincloud]

I’m like really stressed at the moment, so I keep binging💀

Yeah you bet I’m gaining weight like I can literally feel the fat building up and bro this feeling is the worst. It makes me hate myself so much I can’t even start explaining how much… I will try to get back on track by tomorrow but yeah… I think I hate this part of ed the most, this deeply rooted hatred for myself, just because of the way my body looks. It makes me feel so depressed. I don’t want to leave the house or do anything at all just because I think of my appearance as hideous… And obviously my depression and anxiety disorders aren’t making it any better.

That was more than enough ranting for today, I’m sorry for being bothersome.