My heart has but one home @now-i-see-daylight - Tumblr Blog

trashfirefallon-deactivated2019

Hairdresser: We’re going to have to use a color remover to take out the blue pigment, then apply more pigment to allow for the proteins in the hair to adhere to it. Then possibly mix three different types of toners to reach the goal of your natural hair color.

Hairdresser: pretty simple

Me: this is chemistry

Hairdresser: yeah, but people don’t like when we talk that way

trashfirefallon-deactivated2019

Hairdresser: so you’re a mortician?

Me: apprentice

Hairdresser: do you know why formaldehyde is used in clothing?

Me: I didn’t know that was a thing

Hairdresser: I think it’s due to the preserving qualities? But I don’t think that’s right.

Me: It’s not just a preservative, it’s also a disinfectant ‘cause it destroys bacteria as well as their food supply. It’s also a dehydrator.

Hairdresser: why not just use alcohol?

Me: good question. Formaldehyde is super cheap, so probably to cut costs

Hairdresser: is it really a carcinogen?

Me: yeah, I’m going to have so much cancer

trashfirefallon-deactivated2019

Hairdresser: so you’re going natural to work at a funeral home?

Me: yeah

Hairdresser: while still in school?

Me: well we work in the funeral homes so we have uuuuh … experience with cases

Hairdresser: you can just say bodies it’s fine

Me: oh thank god

trashfirefallon-deactivated2019

Five Minutes Later

Me: yeah so we don’t do autopsies it’s one of my pet peeves

Hairdresser: what if someone wakes up while you’re embalming them?

Me: there’s a huge difference between a living body and a dead one

second hairdresser: I think we should add more toner, but yeah I think rigor mortis would make it pretty obvious

Me: that and being in a fridge for a few days you will be dead by the time you get to us

Hairdresser: I think pumping them full of a carcinogen would help with that

antique-scarecrow

your hair is going to look incredible

tiedyeandcampfires

Walking into the woods at camp and thinking, ‘I am home’

transstrider

camp counselor gothic

- a crudely made god’s eye hangs in a tree. it blinks.

- it’s only tuesday and the two best friends hate each other; did they ever like each other?

- you make a minor mistake, accidentally lie about safety rules. when you turn around, the camp director is looking directly at you. she heard you. you turn back to avoid eye contact, now she’s in front of you. you keep trying to turn away but she is everywhere. she is everything.

- you see a camper wearing an incredibly complex bracelet. when you ask how they made it they say its just a normal three-strand braid

- there are people at the pool. your campers ask to go in, but you’re not scheduled to. in fact, no one is. you don’t recognize any of the children in the pool. they are all treading water and staring as you walk by

- you start a hike with the cabin at 12pm. after hiking for five minutes, you check your watch to see it’s 1am, but the sun hasn’t moved, none of your campers are tired. upon returning, you are reprimanded for staying out after dark.

- you hear blood curdling screams from inside the cabin. you rush inside to find nothing out of the ordinary and all the campers asleep.

- you ask your co-counselor to see their schedule, but they’ve lost theirs. you’ve lost yours as well. you ask another person. everyone has lost their schedules. the campers run ahead to the correct activity.

- the walk to the next activity is 5 min, you leave 20 min early, and arrive 10 min late still.

- a camper tells you how pretty you look when you sleep, this is the fourth one to do that this week

souryellows

when i was in like third grade i went to this science camp and one night at campfire they told us a story about a ufo crashing into a lake nearby and then later in the middle of the night they woke us all up and told us the aliens were back and this time they’d laid eggs in the woods !! it was our duty to arm ourselves and go destroy the eggs, so we armored up in tinfoil and shaving cream ( ????? ) and marched into the woods ready to save the planet. the ‘eggs’ were whole watermelons hidden around the camp and we had to smash them open on trees and rocks and eat the alien fetus/watermelon goo as fast as possible. i cannot emphasis enough the raw joy of digging into a watermelon with your bare hands and stuffing it into your face in the middle of the night in the woods, barely taking time to chew so that you can save the planet from hostile aliens, and i think i became the person i am because of that night.