unequivalent

21 • +65

[i-wrotethisforme]

There was a time when what I wanted from you was anything. Literally anything you’d give me- two minutes of your time, a high five, anything. And what I ended up getting was so, so much more. And I’m never going to get over that for the rest of my life because you made me feel so lucky. But now I’ve been trying to figure out what I want from you next and I don’t think it’s anything. And I’ll never forget that you were at one point everything I ever wanted, I’ll seriously never forget that, but I think what I want now is different. So I guess it’s sad but true that we all move on and grow and change and what we want and like is never permanent, whether it be hobbies, careers, clothes, or even people.

[i-wrotethisforme]

One day you’ll meet someone and everything will just make sense. Why every other relationship didn’t work out, why no one else was ever good enough, why you’ve always felt like something was missing. Why that one breakup didn’t hurt as bad as it should have and why you let that other one get to you way too much. Every piece you’ve ever wanted and every piece you didn’t even know you needed will suddenly be there and everything will feel like it’s finally coming together the way that it should. And there are so many people who have found this person who will read this and completely understand. So if this sounds fake, impossible, or unrealistic to you, it’s just because you’re not one of them yet.

[i-wrotethisforme]

I’m sorry that you can’t go uptown without seeing my face on the E train but you know what reminds me of you? Lime La Croix and that fucking bar. I hope you think every white BMW you see is mine because I hear you in every Jack Johnson song I listen to. And I hope the next girl you date drinks gin and tonics and takes all your blankets and shuts off the WiFi while you’re playing videogames. And I hope you don’t miss me all the time, but at random times, like when you’re explaining to her how college football works. Because I don’t think about you constantly, but I think about you every time I do certain things, and I don’t think that’s temporary. But it’s not going to destroy me because even though the ending wasn’t happy, the memories were.

[wishing-for-deathx]

“It’s not that he couldn’t love me, I don’t think he ever wanted to.”

— I was just his latest plaything

[fxck-every-1]

i will never forgive you for the nights i stayed up crying and wondering why i wasn’t good enough, i will never forgive you for the days where my biggest accomplishment was getting out of bed, you broke my heart and for that there is no space for any forgiveness. But i will sit here and thank you, thank you for showing me i was worth more than you, thank you for giving me the ultimate push to loving myself, thank you for showing me you weren’t the person i dreamt of you being. Here’s to loving yourself after a heartbreak. They leave because you need room to grow

[wordsbymp]

And that’s the thing, I would’ve waited forever for you. If I known that you would’ve made your way back. If I knew that in the end there would’ve been a you and I, I would’ve waited.

Timing, is key.

[i-wrotethisforme]

I said all I wanted was for you to look at me the way you look at her, just once. But I know deep down that would never be enough. But how do you get someone to believe they’re with the wrong person when all you have to prove it are your feelings and you can’t put them into words?

[xblvckbevryx]

“If you cared about me so fucking much why’d you let me get so fucking hurt”

—

(via intoxicated-lxve)

I hope SHE was worth loosing me. Actually all of them.

[i-wrotethisforme]

The bad thing about happy endings is they’re always at the end

[i-wrotethisforme]

“Things you should pay attention to: the sound of the wind through the trees when the leaves are changing, peoples’ smiles when they’re smiling at you, the sound of the guitar strings in the acoustic cover of your favorite song, how tight he holds you and for how long. Because that’s what’s important. Not what’s going on in your phone or the semi annual sales at the mall or the naps and Netflix marathons that you ‘need.’ No episode or text is as important as what spices go into your grandmas cookies or how the first sunny day of the season feels on your face. So if it’s not something you’ll want to remember as much as the sound of your mom’s laugh or how it makes you feel when your dog climbs into your bed and presses his body against you, then you shouldn’t be wasting time burning it into your memory. There are so many amazing things, sounds, and feelings every day that years from now we’re going to be praying we could experience just one more time. So please, please, just notice. I promise you’ll be happy you ingrained the important things into your memory while you still could.”

—

[i-wrotethisforme]

There’s a guy out there right now that you’re going to marry. You haven’t met him yet but he’s alive right now and out there living his life. Maybe he’s in line at a Starbucks on the way to work. Or waiting to cross a street exactly like the one you’re crossing right now, but in Chicago. Or maybe he’s at a wedding with the girl he thinks he’s going to marry, who you’re one day going to know everything about. But it doesn’t matter, it just matters that he’s out there right now, doing things. Things that one day, maybe you’ll be doing with him, or maybe he’ll never do again once he meets you. That’s not the point- the point is he’s real and he’s doing something right now. And one day, you’re going to be doing the same thing at the same time and your lives are never going to be the same after that. You just have to wait.

[i-wrotethisforme]

“You weren’t mine, at least never completely, never for more than a night at a time. You were that light happy feeling between sober and drunk. You were a “tell me when you get home,” “have a safe flight,” “good morning, beautiful” text message. You were never someone I wanted to marry or bring home to my family or cry to about anything at all. I liked you because you were easy and we were happy and light and free. And I can’t even tell you what happened but now you’re the taste in the back of my throat from that last vodka soda I didn’t need. Now you’re an “I miss you” text read at 10:57pm and never answered. Because we let things go too far and then slammed on the brakes when the light was still green. And now we’ll never know if it could have been great or just how great it would have been. And I wish we ended it while you were still good memories instead of bad tastes.”

—

[i-wrotethisforme]

First I’ll leave my favorite ring on your nightstand so I have to come back for it later. Then maybe next time I’ll steal a t-shirt from your dresser when you’re in the shower and never take it off. We all know how it starts and we all know how it goes. Months later you’ll take your own set of keys, I’ll leave a toothbrush at your apartment, soon after that you’ll be giving me half your closet space, and before you know it we’re getting our mail to the same address. And then eventually, just maybe, one day you’ll give me a new favorite ring.

[i-wrotethisforme]

I know when things don’t work out it’s too easy for us to say we weren’t enough and that’s what makes it impossible to feel closure. But just because you don’t marry someone it doesn’t mean they didn’t feel something for you, like a lot, and it doesn’t mean they aren’t going to think about you ever again. Because they are. People who I’ve gone on one date with and decided I never want to see again still cross my mind when I pass a certain restaurant or someone mentions the town that person said they’re from. You’re not forgotten and you didn’t “mean nothing,” I promise you. So just because it’s over, it wasn’t pointless and you aren’t worthless to this person. This person is still going to think about you, probably a lot, even if they already replaced you, even if you really hurt them. That’s just human, you meant something at one point and you will always mean something.

[i-wrotethisforme]

“Does he care about you or does he care about getting you into his bed? Do you like him or do you like the words he says to you? Trust me, I know how hard it is to tell, but there’s a difference between what’s real magic and what’s just smoke and mirrors.”

—

[i-wrotethisforme]

Here’s the original

[wordsthat-speak]

“But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends. But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly. You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car - I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable. Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible - this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives: First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed. That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life. It is, cause the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… it could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen. The terrifying thing is… what if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?””

— Aziz Ansari

[nikitaagupta]

someone told me a while back if you had been a little more intelligent, you won’t be hurt. i’m sorry the boy i fell in love with, didnt come wearing a beware sign. im sorry the boy i fell in love with, didn’t tell me he was just messing around with me. i’m sorry the boy i fell in love with, didn’t wear a teeshirt that read i like to break hearts. i’m sorry i fell in love, i guess that was the most unintelligent thing to do on my part.

//nikitagupta