Young Boomer Observations

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Welcome To The High Fashion Runway

Are we in bizarro world or what?   Can you even IMAGINE seeing this display in any store that doesn’t have a sign saying “Thrift Store” on the front?  Not to mention selling at a premium price in Macy’s no less!  Actually, even a thrift store would be embarrassed to display these and would probably throw them away if they got such a donation!

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Fresh? Really?

A while back a town close to where I grew up was deemed by some organization to have the best tasting water in the world.  Why is it that when we talk about great tasting water what we really mean is no taste at all? If the water HAS a taste then it’s NOT good tasting water.  Kind of the same with fresh air.  What we really mean is air that has no smell.  That’s what we really want.

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Cars for Sales - Special Features!

Awhile back I was looking at the dealer descriptions of the features of cars for sale.  It’s amazing how silly some descriptions are.  For instance, “enhanced turn signals”. What?  What is enhanced about them?  Do they notify by wifi every car within 100 yards that there is about to be a turning event?   Do they alert the media and other authorities of this cataclysmic happening?

Perhaps the most perplexing, though, was “speed control”.  Boy, am I heartened to learn that the car will not randomly select a speed at its whim.  I wonder how much it would knock off the price of the car to bypass on the speed control option??  Not that I am a control freak or anything but I do feel a need to have some oversight regarding the speed at which I am hurtling down the road so I think I’d pay for that feature!

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Why Don’t We Apply The Alphabet to Towns???

It seems lately that I have been coming across towns with rather similar names in California.  Most recently I’ve heard a good deal about people living in Glendora and also people living in Glendale.  Are those two towns close to each other?  I still don’t know but they should be!  In my head I always put similarly named towns close to each other.  I think towns should be arranged in alphabetical order!!

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Bathroom Magnets

Is it just me or do you have to go to the bathroom worse the closer you get to the toilet?  I might be walking through the mall and decide I need to go to the bathroom…….no big urgency but when I see one I’ll go.

Then I see the restroom and walk in and all the sudden it’s like I can’t hardly get to the toilet fast enough before I pee my pants.  10 seconds before it wasn’t that big of a deal.  Do the toilet makers secretly plant pee magnets in the toilets?

[observationsofayoungboomer]

You’re amazing...you’re amazing...you’re amazing too!

It seems that words like “Great!” and “Amazing!” and “Awesome” are SOOOOO overused.  I sent a rather mundane email to a co-worker about a minor task being completed and received a note back that said “Amazing! Thanks for the update!”  Really?  Amazing? Maybe I should be insulted that this person thought it amazing that I completed a simple task.  I bet that person would faint from exhilaration if I also mentioned I bought a new pair of socks this weekend, though.

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Movie Companions

Wouldn’t it be fun to watch historical movies with the actual subjects of the show like Hitler or Ivan the Terrible or Martin Luther etc. and have them comment throughout?   Like “that totally never happened” or “Yeah, Himmler was really a jerk!”   Although none could probably compare to watching one with Jesus.  “Hey, I didn’t have a beard.  Why do they always have me with a beard?”  Or “Why don’t they have James the Lesser in any of these movies. He was the coolest disciple and always had the best jokes………..he sure hated being called ‘The Lesser’, though!”

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Disney is so Confusing!!

Was at Disney this past weekend.  I don’t know what to believe anymore!

[observationsofayoungboomer]

The Genius of Fast Food Marketing?

As a food marketer I should probably know this but I wonder if fast food chains make those big promotional posters in their windows translucent on purpose so you can also see the offers from inside the restaurant (albeit backwards, of course).  If not then they really should - it seems smart.

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Centrifugal Force

I wonder how centrifugal force was discovered.  Maybe someone riding their horse around a corner too sharply and wondered why they fell off?  Maybe someone was swinging a tree branch around and wondering why it tugged on their arm?  Doesn’t it make you wonder if there were some geniuses before recorded history that would have dwarfed Einstein and Newton if we had only known.....

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Blood Vessels

The average adult human body has about 60,000 miles of blood vessels.  That’s about 3 times around the earth at the equator!  How is that even possible?!?  And how did they measure that???

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Long Distance Phone Calls

I know this firmly places me as an old person but do you remember when long distance calls were actually expensive and done judiciously?  

Even more, do you remember when rates droped after 6p and then again about 10pm?  If you wanted to make a long distance call you always waited until after 6 or even after 10 if you could.

...........and best I remember they were about $.40/minute around 1975.  That’s about $2.00 per minute in today’s money.  I’m glad I didn’t have out of town friends!

[observationsofayoungboomer]

How ‘bout them apples

I was in the grocery store and saw a Sara Lee apple pie that was made “with Orchard Picked Apples.” So, am I to assume that apples picked from an orchard of apple trees are better apples than those picked from a tree that might be out standing by itself somewhere?  Why is that?  When apples are grown in close proximity do they push each other to greatness or something? Like, “Boy, look at the apples on that tree over there.  I’d better get developing some yummy sweet goodness right away!”

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Language of the Mind

Isn’t it amazing how the human brain comprehends a sentence in full rather than word by word?

I mean, if someone says “I’m going out”.  You immediately grasp that someone is departing for another location.  You don’t separately consider “I’m” (designating the person speaking) “going” (moving toward some action) “out” (someplace other than here - and even more interesting is that we understand “out” in this context because, as we know, that stand alone word has many other meanings as well).  Our brain comprehends it all as one thought.

I assume this isn’t unique to English.  I assume speakers of other languages experience the same phenomenon.

Really quite amazing.

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Wet Paint and Concrete

Is it only me or do you find yourself sometimes wanting to taste a big mouthful of wet cement?  You know, when it’s being all mixed up in the cement mixer you just really want to know what it tastes like??

Same with a bucket of paint.  Doesn’t it look so creamy and......well, colorful?  

If you hear sometime soon that I’m in the hospital please ask the doctors to consider doing a scan of what’s in my stomach.

[observationsofayoungboomer]

Announcing the latest diet

I just had one of those kinds of medical tests that “young baby boomers” (and old ones, for that matter) get every ten years or so. It turned out fine but in doing the preparations I lost about 5 lbs.  I was very pleased with this so I scheduled another one for next week and one for the week after that.  I figure losing 15 lbs would put me in a good place.

I also think I’ll write a diet book on this method.  I can’t believe no one thought of it before!

At the very least no one can tell me I’m full of sh*t.  I can get confirmation from several medical personnel present that is certainly NOT the case!

[observationsofayoungboomer]

The Composition of Birthday Cake

My family recently got me a birthday cake.  We had a nice time but it made me start to wonder what the periodic table symbol is for Cake and what is its atomic weight?  I think the symbol is Ck and it’s atomic weight is about 5 lbs.  

I’m just kidding.  I know that cake is really a compound of the elements Sugar (Su), Flour (Fl), Yeast (Ye), Frosting (Fs) and Water (Wa). Gee, do you think I’m stupid or something???