Silly Little Thoughts @oceanshusband - Tumblr Blog

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Hi there! This is my first time taking art commissions so let me know if there’s anything I can improve! Also, please read this document before commissioning me so that you know my terms of service!

The following is my terms of service when providing art commissions. They must be followed at all times during and after the commission proc

#art #art commisions #commission #procreate

lifeafterpsychiatry

If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people

teaboot

One time when I was a kid a group of girls and I had to treat another student for hypothermia by ourselves because she had so many invisible health issues that the adults we asked for help didn't believe us. The student in question was actively hallucinating. When I finally ran for help the people I grabbed were slow as shit to respond, casually joking about how "dramatic" the person in question was.

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

Sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart- as someone who isn't physically disabled but hears this shit all the time- fuck off

weirdwyvern

real talk tho if you're gonna insist on shipping an aroace character then you forfeit the right to complain when people reasonably give you flack for it

like can you imagine if a fandom was hellbent on shipping a gay man with a woman? completely ignoring any themes or story elements relating to his orientation, ignoring any struggles he faces for being a gay man, in favor of putting him in a M/F relationship?

(^this isn't a hypothetical btw I watched that shit happen to Dorian Pavus. Y'know, the gay guy whose dad tried to put him through blood magic conversion therapy to make him like women.)

So why, pray tell, do y'all wanna act like it's so different with aroace characters?

"Oh, but aroace people can still–" and gay men can still date women and have sex with women and be in committed relationships with women. Hell, many real-life gay men have done these things. But shipping isn't real life, and it certainly doesn't exist in a vacuum where your political beliefs and internalized bs suddenly switch off.

If you ship a gay man with a woman, you may rightfully get called out for being heteronormative. Because you are being heteronormative.

The same principle does, in fact, apply for aroace characters! If you ship an aroace character, you may rightfully get called out for being amatonormative. Because you are being amatonormative.

It's true – similar to the above example about gay men, many real-life aroace people DO have sex and engage in romantic relationships, because aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums. Exploring the ways in which fictional characters might engage in romantic/sexual relationships that don't "perfectly line up" with their orientations is a worthwhile endeavor, bc these are things that real people experience and want to see depicted.

…but that is not what happens in fandom spaces. Aroace characters are regularly subjected to the complete erasure of their orientations, with any struggles or thematic elements related to them being aroace getting thrown out in favor of shipping.

That the majority of these pairings are gay doesn't actually make things any better – being amatonormative is not magically less inappropriate than being heteronormative. But amatonormativity is so deeply ingrained and unchallenged across cultures that the average non-aspec is all but oblivious to its impact. As a result, people treat ignoring an aroace character's orientation for the sake of gay shipping as progressive, even though it categorically isn't.

And christ alive, all of this is WITHOUT getting into how race impacts things. I have seen, repeatedly and across fandoms, how fans will headcanon nonwhite (and esp. black) characters as aroace simply to justify excluding them. This isn't genuine respect for aroace identities, it's slapping an "unshippable" label on them and tossing them out – bc these fans can't stand seeing nonwhite characters as more than background elements, let alone conceive of them being in relationships.

Then, on the other end of the problem, when a nonwhite character actually is some flavor of aroace– suddenly everyone neeeeds to ship them. In fact, you'll be lucky to see any fanworks of that character that aren't focused on shipping! Bc apparently the only thing worse than a nonwhite character existing is a nonwhite character not serving as shipping fodder.

I'm not gonna suggest something like "only aroace people should be allowed to ship aroace characters," bc frankly that's the most half-assed and unenforceable response possible.

The solution is that allo people need to get better at depicting aroace characters, and those who refuse need to face the fire and stop whining about criticism.

ovisiphorus

Omg, it’s NOT cute that calling nonbinary people “they/thems” or “she/theys” ect has become like a default normalized thing even outside of trans people joking around.

It’s real weird and hackle-raising seeing presumably cis people (but honestly anyone) be like “some he/they I met” or what have you. That’s so dehumanizing and no one would say that about cis people. Just say nonbinary person you lunatics. Jfc

i-am-the-oyster

arokairi

rb if you support aro kairi because you hate her and don't want her to grow or thrive 💕💕💕

bramble-klawe

thing i made. is this accurate

idk im just kinda pissed off rn

pitviperofdoom

I try not to fall into the "I never liked their work anyway" ditch when an artist/creator reveals themself to be a terrible person

BUT

a feeling I do have and will stand by is "While I enjoyed their work overall I did have some gripes that I overlooked out of affection and whimsy, but now that my loyalty is gone and my affection tainted there is nothing holding me back from enumerating my many grievances, to which the revelations of the creator's shittiness may or may not provide a new and infuriating context."

beatrice-otter

#such a good summation of this actually#because yeah there’s usually things that were always present#but which were easy to overlook or give the benefit of the doubt#that suddenly become relevant after a revelation about the creator#and it’s really not the same thing as the self-defensive “’I never liked it anyway’

tags via chimaerakitten

correctopinionhaver

so many mental health issues these days are due to the fact that we no longer put the gargoyles on buildings that used to scare away the evil spirits that cause mental illness

lazer-exe

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

that-gay-asian

Also really great tags

flootzavut

👏🏼

innerchildabortionclinic

i'll never stop holding the opinion that systemic subjugation of women and children under patriarchy is not a result of degenerate sexuality or "urges" out of control btw. there's a reason ted bundy (yes, the serial killer) jumped at the opportunity to tell the religious right in an interview that he was corrupted by pornographic magazines. in fact i've seen the right increasingly cling to this perspective precisely because they feel it absolves them

escuerzoresucitado

fitnessadvicethatfitsinyourlife

Drinking soda is better than drinking nothing all day. Eating ice cream for dinner is better than eating nothing for dinner. Eating salsa is better than having no produce in your diet at all.

Water is way more hydrating than soda, but soda is more hydrating than nothing. A balanced meal is way more nutritious than ice cream, but ice cream is more nutritious than nothing.

Something is better than nothing. Some hydration is better than no hydration. Some nutrients are better than no nutrients. Some produce is better than no produce.

Don't let societally imposed food guilt trick you into believing that nothing is a better choice. Nourishing your body, however you can, is always the better choice. Fed is best. Always.

anarchistmemedistro

food has no moral value. being fed does.

aquilacalvitium

Write it badly or it'll never be written

aquilacalvitium

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again