The OC Fuckhouse

Neb's + Crusty's oc blog! Feel free to send asks and interact! Read our about for more info :3c Intro post | Mobile links

[boringkate]

AU where the women in straight porn just grunt and say stuff like "take that big pussy, bitch" while the men scream and moan and convulse and arch their backs while shouting "Oh my god! You're wrecking my dick!"

[c3po]

hey don’t check ur mailbox today i put anthrax in it sorry i regret it now i’m learning to not act on my impulses

[dickstolebyanalien]

(desperate for cock voice) im not desperate for cock

[6mayhem]

wait i just found out you can be nice to people and be their friend i thought we had to kill them all cause i was raised in a lab to be a living weapon

[couthbbg]

can't today. busy.

[randomitemdrop]

Item: Orb of Data Visualization. When the activation word is spoken, it can be used to create stunning visual displays of statistics and research data. No idea why you’d want a passel of murder-hoboes to have that…might help with Diplomacy checks when making marketing pitches or applying for bank loans? Metagaming jokes so characters become aware of their numerical stats?

[friendlywiz]

@the-gentleman-who-wants-to-fuck

[the-gentleman-who-wants-to--blog]

My associates may have a use for this

I will send word out immediately

So this relic can be recovered with due haste

I expect to have it in my hands by dawn

[razerbackbitch]

[os]

Cop pulled me over on my war horse today.. impaled his ass on my lance and dragged his body 10 miles

[monelyslave-noscopekween600thou]

I’m at the doctor office and this baby keeps yelling “I want donow” (mcdonalds) and the big brother (I assume) said “all the mcdonalds burnt down, there’s no more mcdonalds”

[blueexorcist]

One time my 50 boyfriends were fighting over who got to rub my feet and I’m like calm down everyone and grew 48 more feet

[charl0ttan]

white people dont even say "its may i go to the bathroom" any more. now they just wander the desert, looking for answers and finding none

[nem23]

[evilvillain123456789]

(perverse, predatory, manipulative voice) Hello 

[duragdaddy]

i just found 12 bricks

[sanitymakesposts]

Guy whose wife comes out to him as a lesbian and he just sighs and starts googling ‘estrogen near me’

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[swarnpert]

my favorite thing is to say "investing in" instead of "buying"

[amazoogle]

just closed on a big deal with a major grocery chain vis-a-vis the procurement of some fresh strawberries

[kindlygoblin]