i’m acespec but i do have sexual attraction. there is a possibility that i may not identify as asexual in the future, and if that happens i will pass this idea along to someone else. if i don’t identify as asexual later, it is perfectly ok to have had a “stage” and my stage will have been valid. sexuality is allowed to change.
tell me if i make mistakes
asks welcome
queerphobia, racism, ableism, or hate of any kind will be deleted and blocked <3
inspired by @aromantic-official and @aromanticofficial
i don’t think i identify as asexual anymore. that doesn’t mean that the time in my life when i did identify as asexual is any less valid or any less real. that piece of my life has shaped me as a person, my queerness, my view of sex, and my relationships.
this post does not make asexuality any less valid or important, and i will never say that asexuality is “just a phase.” generalizing an entire community based on one person’s experience is a harmful thing to do in any space, so i will not let this post become a place to spread hatred.
asexuality is incredibly valuable to the queer community as a whole. i will even go as far as to say it is necessary for asexual experiences to be shared in our communities. asexual identities should never be pushed aside.
thank you all for helping this account grow! please go follow @aspecmemesdaily @asexualfactoftheday @asexualpolls @asexual-society for posts like mine <3
If I ever make a book it's going to be so painfully aromantic and asexual that any allos reading will die from a heart attack because of the lack of romance and sex
I don’t know if I’m allo or aro but why is love so confusing?
like genuinely what is the difference between platonic and romantic? Every answer I’ve gotten is so stupid, because I feel that way about my friends! I wish we could live together, we could be roommates and we could have movie nights daily. But it’s platonic. But also if I don’t know what romantic is so what if that’s romantic? But then why do I feel that way around everyone. Why is so confusinggggg
the most helpful chart I've found so far is this:
(source)
However, you can define your attraction however you want, or even just leave it without a label. It's okay to be confused, take your time and figure things out when you are ready.
[Image description below cut]
What kind of attraction am I feeling?
It can be difficult to figure out exactly what we are feeling toward someone, especially since we can be feeling multiple types of attraction at the same time. To help you out, here are some things you might think about someone when feeling certain types of attraction.
Romantic attraction:
"I feel a physical magnetism to this person"
"I think about them all the time"
"I can't help but imagine a future with them"
"I fantasize about kissing them, marrying them, moving in with them, etc"
"I desire for them to be romantically involved with me"
"The feeling I have for them is distinctly different from how I feel about friends or family"
"I have physical reactions to them, like butterflies when I'm near them or an ache when they're away"
Sexual attraction
"I feel a physical magnetism to this person"
"I can't help but fantasize about being sexually close with them or imagining them naked"
"being near them arouses me a bit"
"I feel my loins react to their presence and I am extremely aware of how close they are to me"
"It's like everyone is in grayscale but this specific person is in full colour"
Platonic Attraction:
"I feel an emotional magnetism toward this person"
"I feel like we are on the same wavelength and I can easily understand them"
"I feel like we are vibing and it's easy to talk and share with them."
"I feel drawn to their energy"
"I am very comfortable hanging out with them and I desire to get to know them and have them get to know me"
"I can easily spend time together without a lot of effort or emotional drain"
Aesthetic Attraction:
"this person has a really cool style or a beautiful face/body
"I appreciate their beauty the same way I appreciate a beautiful sunset"
"I want to be around them in the same way I want to be around beautiful art"
"I feel a desire to stare at them or maybe even draw them"
"I enjoy how our styles compliment each other"
Sensual attraction:
"This person makes me feel like I do when I see a big floofy dog - I feel a strong desire to snuggle them or hug them or just be near them in a non-sexual way"
"I may fantasize about cuddling them or being close to them"
"I may feel inclined to physically interact with them more than other people."
I posted this on an aroace subreddit and what I loved is that everyone seemed to have their own interpretation of what it meant and how it applied to them.
“I like how sleeping next to someone means more than sex sometimes, the body’s way of saying ‘I trust you to be by my side at my most vulnerable time,’ you have no defenses when you are asleep, you tell no lies”
The best way I can describe to an allo person how you feel about sex as a topic as a sex-repulsed or averse asexual is that it feels like a hype that never ends. As though Despicable Me came out and everyone around you was sending minion facebook memes to each other for years to come. The stores are full of minion themed products; they're in ads and your friends talk about them all the time. And deep in your heart you're like "I'm glad that they're able to enjoy something I personally don't like and am not interested in :3". But there is always this little voice in the back of your head that's like "If I have to see ONE MORE of these little yellow FUCKERS today then God help us all." You make an active choice to communicate only the former.
