Get your own water.

28. Survivor. Aroace as in oriented towards relationships that are neither romantic nor sexual. I don't use tertiary attraction labels to describe my feelings for others and you can't make me. Everyone should be allowed to do what they want, but also, no one should feel like they have to do anything they don't want, and that's more important to me. If any of my posts don't apply to you, that's your problem, not mine. I delete replies that are mean-spirited or willfully ignorant.

[aroaceenjolras]

Asexuality and aromanticism being defined as "little to no sexual/romantic attraction" is crazy to me. Imagine if they redefined being a gay man as "little to no attraction to women" and you had to, like, figure out for yourself that liking men was a part of it.

Personally, I define my aroaceness not as a lack of romantic or sexual attraction, but as an orientation towards relationships that are neither romantic nor sexual. Redefining my orientation this way has helped me find a lot of peace I didn't have before.

Edit 6 Apr 2026: Wow, it only took ten days before someone decided to be weird on this post and was promptly followed up by two comments addressing the weirdness that completely ignored my original point. And that isn't even counting all the people who originally ignored my point. But as annoyed as I was by the "it's a spectrum!" posters, I would take a thousand more of them before dealing with the repercussions of having one singular uneducated teenager on my post who insists that it's not.

The funny thing is that I didn't even really mind having an uneducated teenager gatekeeping on my post. I don't like it, but I can handle it. I gently but firmly told the kid to knock it off and haven't heard anything since.

So imagine what it feels like to be me, coming back to tumblr after a day long break and seeing two people with a much bigger audience than me dunking on this teenager, on my post, while completely ignoring what I actually said. Like, are you lumping me in with the kid? Are you assuming I hold the same ridiculous opinions? Or do you just not care what I have to say as long as you can dunk on someone?

Anyway, I'm turning reblogs off on this post. Congratulations on finding a quick and easy opportunity to be mean to a child. I hope you're pleased with yourselves.

And to the child who made those gatekeeping comments on my post, if you're reading this, assuming you haven't had a panic response to someone disagreeing with you and blocked me (I understand, I've been there and don't hold it against you even if it is a phase we all need to move past eventually), I truly hope you can internalize some kind of lesson about the community you belong to from all of this, and I hope the lesson isn't that we don't tolerate mistakes.

I'm reblogging this once more so people see the update, pinning it, and then no one's ever going to reblog it again. Congratulations to the two of you who ruined it for everyone.

[aroaceenjolras]

Nothing has ever been truer than this. I recognize so many of my own self-harm patterns and so much of the underlying low-grade trauma of sexualization that undergirds my repulsion in this song.

[orcboxer]

Hi I imagined someone misreading your post and falling to their death in an empty grain silo as a result, can you change the post to be about grain silo safety?

[mrsmummifikation]

This time of year can be frustrating for people in the aro/ace community.

I will be here, whenever you need to talk. 

transcription under the cut:

Keep reading

[norimiao]

early pride month. gay taumoeba n shit

[justarandomart]

happy pride month!! some aro ace Phantumps to celebrate!

[bk-poetry]

Announcing Fanfiction.lol !

hey all! i've built a new ao3 fork called fanfiction.lol 🤙🏽 key differences:

🚫 no invite queue: sign up and start posting immediately. no waiting, no velvet rope.

🏳️‍🌈 expanded content warnings: added ableism, homophobia/transphobia, racism, rpf and more. plus relationship tags for aro/ace spectrum, qpr, non-binary/genderqueer focus, poly/ensemble, and more.

🏷️ all tags are canonical: everything you tag goes into the searchable record. no volunteer wrangling bottleneck.

💜 fandom-agnostic moderation: i care about the writing, not fandom politics or discourse. write whatever you want, tag it honestly.

it's a small personal project but fan communities deserve independent infrastructure.

if you enjoy fandom, i'd love for you to sign up and poke around. tell me what breaks. the source code is at source.tube/brennan/fanfiction.lol.

find me at brennan.day/accounts or email [email protected].

write whatever the hell you want! 💜

[peach-pot]

being anti-amatonormativity in a romance centered world is like watching half the people who you know put all their eggs in one basket and then drop the basket and all their eggs break and they’re crying and swearing they’re never gonna do that again and then a month later they have all new eggs in a new basket and they tell you the problem was they didn’t have a strong enough basket or fresh enough eggs and then they drop the fucking basket again.

[asexual-chan]

🧡💛🤍🩵💙 !!HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

[peach-pot]

kind of fun when people find out you’re asexual and incorrectly assume the sort of rock you live under. like when a kid doesn’t think you’ve heard of the beatles before.

[specialagentartemis]

It just makes me so frustrated when people go “not all aroace people are romance- and sex-repulsed! Therefore it is WRONG to say THIS aroace character is romance- and sex-repulsed even though that is how it is consistently and clearly written!” (“Therefore it is wrong to say any aroace is sex- or romance-repulsed! Don’t you know aros and aces can still have sex and romance?”)

it doesn’t come across as respect for sex-favorable aces and romance-favorable aros, it comes across as a fundamental inability to believe that anybody could actually not want sex or romance.

[lachrymose-lyricist]

i cant explain the way i feel to them without it sounding romantic or lwk sexual :(( i dont experience attraction that way i prommy but also my heart rate increases when i think of you and i look for you in crowds and i like it when you wear my favorite jacket. what is this clownery

[angeliongabriel]

aroace grace means something really special to me (like i imagine he does for many other aroace/ aro and ace spec people) but it’s so awesome to see a character being so widely headcanoned as aroace whom i feel actually represented the spectrum in canon. not to mention the pure connection between grace and rocky like, it’s the sort of platonic relationship i ,as an aroace person, yearn for and this silly guy who looks like ryan gosling gets to have it with a alien rock spider. honestly it’s unfair

[denizenhardwick]

sex-repulsed people are fully within our rights to be cranky and blunt about not liking sex and how it's fucking everywhere btw. we shouldn't have to tiptoe around and make sure our phrasing is perfectly squeaky clean because people interpret any criticism of sex and sexualization as puritanism. venting about compulsory sexuality is not purity culture. maybe you could stand to learn a thing or two from us.

[grison-in-space]

Look, there's got to be something sociologically meaningful about the fact that almost every single queer person I know under the age of about 35 daydreams about setting up an extended household--a little town or a house or an apartment building or a few houses or a mansion or a commune--and filling it with all their friends so we can all live near one another and take care of each other.

It is a wildly common fantasy. Every time I met a new group of people it pops wistfully up. As I age, folks get more and more determined to try. Sometimes they succeed and sometimes they fail and those of us with mobile careers, like mine, are at something of a disadvantage, but the wistful notion is everywhere. The dream. Having our friends who love us right here, where we can touch them and help them.

I don't know if it's just that I live on the internet, but it's something, gazing into the flickering screen and knowing we're all daydreaming about a better future for all of us working together to support one another.

[thedreamthieves]

i think one of the worst things the left wing internet ever did was push the idea that oppression is basically a virtue, and being oppressed is a sign of your morality. it has made it like…impossible for some of you to hold the idea that most people are privileged in some ways and oppressed in others. AND a lot of you seem to have it in your mind that terrible people cannot be oppressed, and that oppressed people cannot do terrible things, which is a dangerous rhetoric to hold imo.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I really don’t like when a book advertises itself as fantasy or scifi with maybe some romance on the side and then it turns out to just be a romance with some fantasy or scifi wallpaper. Fine if you wanna read that but I don’t. Stop having sex and kill the dragon already. This is false advertising.