hi, im ru! :] 20yo๐ฑ Do ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐/๐ซ๐๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐จ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ !! in a lot of fandoms๐Iโm also on ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ: @๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ and ๐ญ๐ข๐ค๐ญ๐จ๐ค: @๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐_
synopsis // smoking with your hot higher up, eren jaeger
pairings // eren jaeger x fem! reader
cw // university au โข public sex โข weed usage โข sex under the influence โข praise โข cunnilingus โข spitting โข age gap (?)
W/C // 2.2K
your head lays on top of erenโs lap, admiring him while he takes a long drag from the blunt. his eyes are closed, the moonlight shading his eyelashes against his face so prettily.
eren holds his breath for a a few more seconds before exhaling. he finally opens his eyes, sparkling emeralds looking down at you, already watching him. a breathy laugh falls from his lips before he passes it back to you.
it was around eleven pm, itโs just you two in the backseat of his car, parked a couple blocks away from the university.
every once in awhile you two meet up and have a smoke sesh, just to relieve some stressโsmoke buddies, if you will. you have to admit, you always look forward to the time you spend with him, after all of these meet ups, you couldnโt even deny the crush that formed.
he was the hot cool senior that youโve been crushing on for literal months. ever since the first time you seen him at that back to school party, youโve made it your mission to get your hands on eren jaeger. and all your hard work paid off after allโlook at where you were now.
you grab the blunt from his long fingers and place it in between your lips before inhaling deeply. "you're getting better at this" he compliments, eyes carefully watching your glossed lips wrap around the blunt. you canโt lie, when you two first started this little arrangement, your smoking skills were definitely at the amateur level. "that's โcause i'm a fast learner" you took a couple puffs, doing different tricks that he taught you as you blow it out, passing it back to him.
"no i'm just a fucking awesome teacher" eren spoke confidently, taking a hit before handing it back to you. "no you suck at teaching" his brows furrowed a little.
"you suck"
"and swallow" you snickered.
eren raises an eyebrow "oh yeah?" he stares down at you, adjusting his hips slightly as he leans back into the seat. "yeah" you say softly as you chew at the inside of your cheek. he hums before motioning his fingers towards him.
"c'mon sweetheart it's puff, puff pass. not puff puff keep" you hand the blunt back to him, his fingers brushing against your own. eren smacks his lips. "where's the lighter?" he mutters, all the flirting made the blunt go out. you fish around in your pockets before pulling out a lighter: a white lighter with a playboy bunny symbol on the front of it.
you hand it to him and he just stares at it for a moment, lips spreading into a small smile. "cute,"
you roll your eyes, moving your head around in his lap a bit to get a in a more comfortable position. you don't miss how his breath hitches, but you choose not to say anything.
the carโs full of the foggy smoke, windows up and trapping everything inside, adding to your high as you relax to the low music playing. "it's almost done, make this last one countโ the grumble vibrating from his chest. eren puts the lit blunt in between your lips for you as you inhale deeply.
you watch how he leans his head back on the headrest, a stupid idea popping into your head. you bring your body closer to him, gently grabbing his face and parting his mouth slightly. eren stays still, his red, lidded eyes meeting yours and watching as you exhale the smoke into his mouth, your lips shocking each otherโs as they brush together.
he closes his mouth before exhaling through his nose. maybe it was the good weed that has your head all light and foggy, or maybe it was because of how good his black shirt looks stretching across his chest, the hard planes of his body still showing through the fabric.
youโre caught off guard when he suddenly flips your bodies. your back lies flat against the car seat with him settled in between your legs, his face is so close to yours, you can feel his breath fanning against your cheeks.
"what are you doing?" you choke out, heart starting to beat faster when his eyes looked over your face, stopping at your lips for a moment before looking back at you.
"do you want me to stop?" you wanted to clench your thighs from his raspy voice, but you simply shake your head โnoโ, swallowing thickly as he moves closer, smashing his lips against your own.
the kiss starts off slow, both of you slowly leaning into itโtesting boundaries, tasting each other, his soft lips gently moves against yours while his hands slowly trail up and down along your sides.
you love how his hands feel on your body. you release out a small moan into the kiss while your arms wrapped around his next, pulling his body closer to yours.
he finally pulls away, lifting his body up slightly as he pulls your shirt off, followed by your stretch pants, eyes widening when he sees your lack of underwear, your pussy already soaking and ready for him. eren grins and looks up at you through his dark lashes. "i see you planned ahead" you narrow your eyes at him.
โi was rushing, don't flatter yourself" he shrugged his shoulders, lowering his head in between your thighs "whatever you say sweetheart" you gasped when you felt his tongue press flatly against your clit, your hand immediately reaching to the headrest next to you.
eren doesn't waste any time when it comes to eating you. his fingers tightly grip your thighs as he runs his tongue up and down your pussy, swirling and sucking on your aching clit as he watches you throw your head back against the fogged window, squeezing your eyes shut with a hand clamped over your mouth. your fingers finding their place in his neat man bun.
he lifts his head up and stares at your pussy. now glistening from a mixture of his spit and your juices. his intense attention feels like a physical touch alone. erenโs eyes find you again and he grabs your wrist, not enough to hurt, but firmly. you open your eyes, breaths rushed out and uneven. eren leans in closer, โwatch me eat you baby, okay? i need you to keep those pretty eyes on meโ he whispers.
eren puckers his lips and lets a glob of spit fall on your clit, watching intently as it slides down to your hole before licking it all up all the way back to your clit, slurping and shaking his face in your slick.
"oh my god โrenโ" a high pitch moan falls from your lips and your body shivers from his tongueโlicking and sucking on your clit as if he was drinking soup.
your muscles start to tense up, eyebrows furrowing together as you felt your orgasm creeping up. "i'm gonnaโ" you trail off, breathing heavily as you bite back another moan. "โm gonna cum, baby"
"cum on my tongue sweetheart" he mumbles against your slick folds, swirling his tongue around your hole before sticking the muscle in, really pushing you over the edge. your vision blur as you release all over his tongue.
eren gaze stays locked on you, continuing his motions until youโre finished. eren breaks his mouth away from your pussy, leans up and snatches his shirt off while pulling down his jogging pants, his tattoos a stark contrast against his pale body in the dark light.
eren easily maneuvers your body and sits you on top of his lap. you place your knees on either side of his waist and sit your hands on his broad and hard shoulders. he unclips your bra, throwing it somewhere else in the car.
his mouth wastes no time before latching onto your hard nipple, making you arch deeper against him as you whimper, hands finding his hair again.
his slender fingers lightly worked up and down his leaking dick, he slides a finger across the bead of pre-cum, hissing quietly before his green eyes found their way to yours. โyou ready pretty?โ
"let me put it in" you say, his cock twitched when you wrapped your fingers around it, a small noise leaving erenโs mouth. you lift your hips and guide his tip to your soaked entrance, slowly sinking down on it, both of you letting out a deep sigh when you finally sheathed yourself completely on him.
you grind your hips back and forth slowly, gummy walls coating and sucking every inch of him inside. you brush your lips against his, clit brushing against his happy trail with every motion. eren grunts, "go faster baby, donโt tease me" he breaths out. you lift yourself up before slamming back down, another moan leaving your mouth and another grunt of pleasure pulled from him.
you start to bounce faster, your arms moving from his hair to wrapping around his neck for support while his fingers dig into the plush of your waist. "fuck meโโ eren grits out. โyouโre so good at this, baby just like that, keep riding this dick" his words only encourage you. the car fills with sounds of grunts and moans along with wet sounds of skin clapping together.
honestly, you wouldnโt be surprised if it was shaking too. not that you care.
the burning ache in your knees became unbearable. you slowly drag your hips against him again, setting the pace back to something agonizingly slowโtoo slow for eren. he wraps both arms around your waist before lifting your body up and pulling you back down on his dick, the sudden stretch almost burning as he split you open.
โeren waitโah!โs-slow down," you could barely talk. your mouth parted slightly with your head nuzzling into the crook of his neck, letting him use you.
"what's that baby?โ his warm breath fanned your ears before he licked them ever so lightly. โgonna go a lil faster prettyโ his words were choked and ragged. โyou can take it baby, you can take it for me, i know you can"
he picked his pace up again, pushing his hips up off the seat to meet yours with every merciless thrust he gave you. "fuck, fuck, fuck!" you shrieked as your eyes screwed shut from him repeatedly slamming your g-spot. "give it all to me prettyโfuck, want you to cum all over this dick" he urged.
you harshly bit down on your lip. a couple more of his harsh thrusts and your vision had went white, body shaking while you came again, nails digging into his skin as he kept pounding at your g-spot. "yeah baby, good fucking girlโshit" he cursed, feeling you clenching harder around his throbbing length.
eren was chasing his own high now, biting down on your neck to keep from letting out his loud groans. you turned your head towards his ear, softly whispering against the shell of his ear as you clenched down on him.
you kissed the sensitive skin under his ear. "donโt pull out eren,โ you licked it. โi want you to cum in me"
something snapped in him. erenโs fingers dug into your jaw and forced your face to his. "you want me to cum in you? pretty girl wants my cum huh?" your hands tangle in his now loose man bun, the loose strands catching in your fingers and you nod frantically, pupils blown wide with lust. "you do? well, fucking take it" he kept his tight grip on your jaw, watching the different faces of pleasure you made while he approached his own high.
one last powerful thrust and he released his cum inside of you, slowly moving his hips and riding out his high. you slumped your sweaty body over on his own, ragged and shallow breaths filling the car.
a knock on the window made you two jump before looking at each other. eren reached his hand up and wiped the fog from the windows, seeing jean outside with an awkward look covering his face. eren scrunched his face up and rolled down the window slightly, not enough that he could see your naked bodies.
"jean?! the hell are you doing out here?" he asked. jean scratched the back of his neck "well, i needed the homework but you weren't on your dorm and then i saw your car out hereโbut obviously you're busy" he squinted a bit as he peered through the foggy window. "is thatโ? i knew i recognized you!" your eyes widened and you cringed slightly. "hey, jean..."
"anywaysss, do you have it?"
"how long have you been out here?" eren asked him, feeling around for your clothes so you could cover up. "uh, shit, i don't know, maybe five minutes? you know fucking in public is a crime right?" his lack of a filter only added to your embarrassment. "oh god" you whispered to yourself.
"jean, go the fuck go away! i'll give it to you i get back" jean holds his up hands in surrender and he chuckles, he shoves his hands into his pockets and finally walks away from the car. "are you okay?" he asked while looked at you. "i'm fine. next time you probably shouldn't park so close to the university,"
HELLO EVERYONE :)) My name is Ellie and iโm a self-taught sapphic artist from South Africa๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ฟ๐ฆ
Iโm desperately trying to save up enough money right now, but itโs been impossible to find a job where i live :โ)) iโm currently working on getting my GED and i have 2 beautiful kittens that i have to pay for, while also having interests that make me happy like gaming.. which is why i have opened up commissions๐ฅนโจ Iโd really appreciate if you could request something from me, so that i can save up some money! Iโd also appreciate if you share this so more people can get to know me and my art๐๐ฝ๐ฉท
here are some of my artworks :))
pricing:
- chibi sketch $10
- chibi fully-rendered $15
- 1 character sketch $15 (plus $5 for extra character)
- 1 character fully-rendered $30 (plus $5 for extra character)
HELLO IDV PLAYERS!! iโm opening commissions so that i can afford the phantom castle.. iโll draw you something for echoes๐ฅธ๐ฉท dm me if interested<33
hereโs some examples of my art:
sketch with no colour = $15
full render sketch = $30
full render clean lines = $50
chibi sketch = $10
full render chibi = $20
๐ซi will not draw:
- proship, non-con, furries (cause i donโt know how to LMAO), mecha, nsfw
greetings ๐๏ธ๐งฃ nation! i have officially finished 4 of my designs!! โธ(๏ฝกห แต ห)โธโก
as you can see, 3 of them are eremika and the other one is yumihisu๐ like iโve mentioned in my previous posts about my stickers, iโll also be including more ships and singular characters as well!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE POSITIVE FEEDBACK ON MY OTHER POSTS!!๐ฅน๐it means the world to me that so many of you are interested in buying my art.. so truly thank you<33
hi ๐๏ธ๐งฃ nation เฌ(เฉญห๊ณห)เฉญโง would anyone be interested in these if i made them into stickers??
i made a previous post abt this, but since then iโve cooked up some more cute designs for potential stickers!><๐ฉท
like i said in the post before this, i will be including characters/ships other than eremika too(โขฬแดโขฬ)ูโจ stay tuned for your favourite characters and lmk in the comments if youโre interested in ordering these once i release them!๐๐ฝ
for anyone whoโs taken interest in my stickers, first of all, THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!!๐ญ๐ฉท and second, hereโs a design after it has been completed digitally :))โจ
Help Noor Rebuild Her Life and Care for Her Children
I am Noor, a mother of three children: Yamen (5 years old), Tala (11 years old), and Yara (9 years old). I once lived a simple life in Gaza, filled with love and hope, but the war took everything from us.
My husband has been missing since the start of the war, and I have no idea where he is or what happened to him. Our home, our safe haven, was completely destroyed in a bombing. I had no choice but to flee with my children, moving from one place to another, with nowhere to call home.
But the suffering didnโt stop there. I was severely injured in an airstrike, leaving me unable to move my right hand entirely. Iโve undergone two surgeries so far, but my hand remains lifeless. My leg was also severely injured and requires ongoing treatment. I am unable to do even the simplest things for my children, who look at me with eyes full of fear and hope.
Process reports
I traveled to Egypt, clinging to the hope of receiving the medical care I so desperately need. However, the cost of treatment is overwhelming. The surgeries, medications, and physical therapy are all essential, but I simply cannot afford them.
My children need me, and I need your help. I donโt want to give in to pain or despair, but I cannot do this alone. Every donation you make is a lifeline for my children to feel safe again and a ray of hope for me to regain my strength and stand by their side.
Please, help me. Give me the chance to recover, to care for my children, and to be the mother they so desperately need
The campaign has been checked by @90-ghost here
Donation Link
*Edit: for clarity and transparencyโs sake, Noor is currently in Egypt seeking medical treatmenโฆ India S needs your support for Save Noor's
hi ๐๏ธ๐งฃ nation เฌ(เฉญห๊ณห)เฉญโง would anyone be interested in these if i made them into stickers??
i made a previous post abt this, but since then iโve cooked up some more cute designs for potential stickers!><๐ฉท
like i said in the post before this, i will be including characters/ships other than eremika too(โขฬแดโขฬ)ูโจ stay tuned for your favourite characters and lmk in the comments if youโre interested in ordering these once i release them!๐๐ฝ
would anyone be interested if i made these into stickers? these are some rough sketches i have!
please let me know cause iโm in desperate need for funds rn and itโs been a big dream of mine to sell my artwork๐ฅน๐๐ฝ
itโll most likely include characters like: helaena, aemond, aegon, daemon, rhaenyra, alicent, jace and baela.. i will also be doing some pairing stickers like the helaemond one above!!๐๐ฝโจ
@ahmed0khalil asked me to boost his familyโs campaign with some art, so here it is !
The Khalil family is a family of eight, many of whom are children, including Ahmed who is only 6 and barely started school when they had to flee from bombings. They currently reside in a UN center among many other families, but medical and hygiene care and proper accommodations are extremely difficult to find and keep in these conditions.
This campaign is very far from their goal, so please share and support where you can.
warnings:ย arranged marriage, hate-to-love, mentions of rape, mentions of incest, mentions of suicidal thoughts, drinking alcohol, mommy issues, daddy issues, mentions of sex without love, unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), porn with plot (but something cheap, tbh) and I probably forgot something but I think that makes it clear that this shit is not for minors, so MINORS DNI :)
A/N: I started this since the second season premiere started so if you find any canon-like scenes I completely promise it wasn't intentional. I also want to make it clear that you are responsible for what you read and if you don't like something please just let it go, that would be very kind of you!
And this doesn't make me team green at all, I'm a defender of the rightful queen to the deathโฆ it's just that her brother is too sexy to ignore ๐ซฆ
Enjoy!
taglist (who I thought might be interested):ย @barcelonaloverf1life @ilovequeen978
FIRST ACT: HATE
Finding a wife for Prince Aegon II was probably one of the most difficult tasks Alicent Hightower had to face.
The engagement with his sister Helaena had been broken after a more tempting offer for the princess, which would get them a permanent alliance with the Lannister house that they couldnโt refuse. Viserys himself had agreed to accept and the queen consort had no choice but to give her little daughter in marriage to a blonde lord. The problem was that her son was left without a fiancรฉe.
Aemond didn't worry her, after all he was growing up quite quickly and she knew that he was more inclined to become a warrior than to fulfill his marital responsibilities. But Aegon, however, was a lost cause.
It was no secret that Alicent had always felt disappointed in her eldest son. He was careless, lazy, and a hopeless alcoholic, qualities that couldnโt be celebrated at all. Now that her beloved father had returned, the queen didnโt hesitate to consult him on the matter, hoping that the man had a solution for the problem that afflicted her, and together they analyzed what was the best option to unite the king's first-born son. Especially after, years ago, Rhaenyra and Daemon got married and moved to Dragonstone indefinitely.
โIt must be someone we completely trust, someone who cannot dare to hurt us because they know that their blood is linked to ours.โ
The Arryns were loyal to the future queen Rhaenyra and some of the houses south of Vale were too. The Westerlands was the richest section of the Seven Kingdoms and was already secured, so it seemed prudent to the king's hand to go for the next widest section: The Reach. The most formidable options within this area were the Hightower and the Tyrell. Obviously taking the first option would be a waste since the members of that house would support Aegon without complaint due to their kinship, so the decision was made with the direct heir of Highgarden.
King Viserys agreed to the idea without putting up many obstacles, since poppy milk clouded his judgment most of the time and also the affairs of his first son had never interested him much.
The union was sealed as soon as the deal was offered to Lyonel Tyrell, who was extremely happy to be able to assure his family a future with said marriage. It was thus that he gave you, his only daughter, to Prince Aegon II Targaryen.
And the second the boy saw you, he absolutely hated you.
He had come to the idea (very unpleasant, by the way) of marrying his younger sister and now that his mother was forcing him to marry a complete stranger, he couldn't be angrier. In a short time he would turn twenty and it seemed pathetic to him that at that point he would have to offer shows like those before the kingdom. Because the wedding wasnโt simple, of course, but thousands and thousands of guests were present at the banquet that Alicent forced the king to prepare, claiming by saying that he had done the same for Princess Rhaenyra's wedding.
โIt is a pleasure to finally see each other, your grace. They have told me a lot about youโ
You had said those precise words the first time you had met, when your mother organized a walk so that you could 'get to know each other better', although supervised by her own eyes that were behind you, making sure that her son didnโt commit any indecency. But no matter how sweetly you smiled and spoke them, Aegon could sense that you were lying.
There was hatred in your eyes and a clear resentment towards the life from which you were torn, as if it werenโt an honor to have the opportunity to marry the prince of the seven kingdoms. Your hypocritical words represented an insult to the boy and that is why he decided from the first moment that he would hate you deeply.
With your mere existence you would have deprived him of his freedom, his entertainment, his youth. He would be tied to you for future occasions, he would have to take you to all the events, secure your food, your clothes. share the same roof and pretend to be nice to you in the eyes of others. And, besides, he could have thought of a lot of candidates better than you, physically speaking. Your beauty was quite ordinary for his taste, as if he were looking at any painting; cheap and repetitive.
โI regret to admit that I am not so fortunate, Lady Tyrell. But I am happy for the union of our housesโ he lied, in the same way that you had done.
And it was obvious that this didnโt go unnoticed by you, that you had the same critical eye as your recent fiancรฉ but that you sought to maintain composure in the presence of your future mother-in-law.
On the wedding day Aegon had a good time only because he was able to drown himself in monumental quantities of liquor and because he was able to eat as much as he wanted of the exquisite banquet. He didn't even pay a bit of attention to how you looked in the wedding dress that the royal seamstresses had been in charge of making in record time, because when the time came he flattered you superficially and then ignored the matter. The ceremony kiss was the first you shared, and it was so fleeting and awkward that the prince felt disappointed. On the wedding night he was so drunk that he didn't even look at you.
You knew that the unfortunate day would come when you would have to carnally please the young man and the simple thought of being defiled in this way caused you terror and nausea in equal parts.
It was a stranger whom you had married, of whom the only thing you knew was his noble title and name.
In the days following your marriage, unfortunately or fortunately, Aegon didnโt even speak to you. You didn't have to share a room, so it was easier for him to completely ignore you while he went about his ways.
You had to admit that the only good thing about having taken this trip was the beautiful landscapes that King's Landing offered you. Your room had a direct view of Blackwater Bay and you spent several days looking out the window at the beautiful sea. Sometimes you could watch Prince Aemond ride his dragon, and honestly, the size of the beast scared you a little. You hadn't had the chance to observe Aegon in Sunfyre yet but if he was as impressive as Vhagar, then he would be quite a sight.
A week passed, then another and another where you were nothing more than a guest in the palace. You didn't talk to anyone, you ate dinner alone, you barely saw the outside of the castle. Sometimes you went to the Sept, pretending to pray, but really just killing the endless boring hours of the day. You were somewhat lucky if you found Helaena, the most sensible and calm within the royal family, because you had pleasant conversations with her. When you met the queen it was a little more difficult, because she asked you endless questions in which you had to fake the answers. How could you be fulfilling your parenting responsibilities if the capricious prince wouldn't deign to lay a finger on you?
After a month, Alicent seemed to take matters into her own hands and forced her eldest son to take you to sleep in the same room as him. However, Aegon seemed to want to blame you for something you hadn't chosen. He never spoke to you and every time you went to bed, he would stand with his back to you as far away as possible. And as if that werenโt enough, he had explicitly ordered his guards not to allow you to leave the room unless it was in his company. It was his way of punishing you, of getting even for the complaints of his mother and grandfather regarding his lack of interest in marriage.
โMy mother wants us to attend a dinner tonightโ you were so unaccustomed to hearing his voice addressing you that it took you a second to process what he was telling you โI will talk to the maids to bring you a suitable dress.โ
You didn't know what to say. You didn't want to go to that dinner, nor did you want to be with him, or wear one of those tight, annoying dresses. Aegon, noticing your silence, deigned to look at you and in your eyes he could see the aversion you felt for him. It was something difficult to mask and he had seen it on so many faces that it was nothing new.
โAs you wish, prince.โ
A bitter laugh came from your husband's throat.
โDon't be a hypocrite, for God's sake. I know you hate me as much as I hate you. Save appearances for guests, not in the chambers."
You wouldnโt have had the courage to admit out loud what his majesty had said, but you didnโt dare to contradict him either. You had to play the role of a self-sacrificing and suitable wife for the man if you wanted to keep your honor, but above all your head.
You tried, with all your might, to see some quality in Aegon that you liked so that you could treat him in a better way, which always resulted in something useless. Perhaps if he had been nicer to you, you could have known how to forgive his faults, but even that wasnโt granted to you.
The dinner was mostly family-oriented, with the guest of honor being from House Baratheon whose purpose was to discuss some political matters with the king and queen. Due to his health, Viserys didnโt usually leave his room more than necessary, however, that night the occasion warranted it.
โLady Tyrell, how is your stay in King's Landing?โ
The king had a reputation for being gentle with his guests and was the first person to ask you a personal question, so the smile you showed him was genuine.
โVery pleasant, your grace. The servants treat me as well as possible and I must admit that the views from my room are beautiful. Your dragon is impressive, Prince Aemond, by the way.โ
The boy, who wasn't all that expressive, just looked at you for a moment and tilted his head down slightly.
โI'm glad you like it, princess.โ
"And my son? How is our Aegon treating you?โ
That question was more complicated to answer, since it required expressing a lie. Everyone present focused their attention on you, except your husband who had been staring into nothingness for a long time.
โVery well, my king. Heโs a good husband and I am happy to have been able to unite our houses.โ
The aforementioned snorted, incredulous at what you were saying at the table, and took a long drink from his glass of wine.
โAnd I hope very soon you can give us strong and beautiful heirs.โ
Although that was intended as a compliment, you felt the weight of that responsibility pressing down on you again.
โI wish the same. It will be an honor to serve the crown and bear the progeny of a house as formidable as yours."
The queen was pleased with your answer and for a moment felt sorry for you. She knew her son well, so deep down she knew that it wasnโt a gift from the gods to be married to him. The rest of the table looked at you curiously, wondering if you were serious, trying to be ironic, or just trying to play the good girl role.
Aegon, as expected, became intoxicated during dinner and when Queen Alicent announced that she was going to retire to sleep you thought it prudent to do the same. Your husband, however, had other wishes.
โStay here,โ he asked, his voice serious.
When he was drunk he looked you up and down, probably evaluating how worth it would be to decide to strip you naked and fuck you once and for all. Your body in the dress you were wearing looked better with a few drinks on him.
โI think it would be best to retire, my husband. This way you can stay with the men to chat andโฆ drinkโ
โBut I want you to stay here to keep me company,โ he insisted, holding your wrist tightly โOr don't you want to please your prince?โ
It wasnโt a loving request, but one for control. He wanted to have you there only to demonstrate his power over you, without paying attention to you or talking; only as an ornament.
โAegon, enough,โ Alicent interrupted, observing the scene that had begun to unfold. โDaughter, let's go to sleep. โI will accompany youโ
โFine, do whatever you want,โ he spat contemptuously, abruptly releasing the wrist that was holding you. There was hatred in his eyes, but also pride.
The queen said goodbye to everyone present and then offered you her hand to take you away from there. You spent most of the way in silence, walking through the long, wide corridors of the fortress followed only by the faithful footsteps of Ser Criston Cole.
โYou must be patient with himโ he began to say โHe is a particular man and sometimesโฆ difficult, but I know that with your docile character you will be able to deal with his temperament.โ
What did she know about your character? She didn't know you at all.
โSo it shall be, Queen Alicent.โ
โI understand what you are going through, dear. We both come from the same lands to endure the difficult task of accompanying a monarch. But it is our duty to carry it out with all the honor and temper worthy of our homes. Of course, I can trust that as a woman you will be able to help him fulfill another of the most important marital commitments, such as having children, to maintain the lineage and blood. For a virgin like you, Aegon may be rough, but... patience and resilience are among the best virtues. A woman in royalty must endure these things to give the best to the people.โ
You had never wanted to be a princess. And just when you thought the queen was showing you compassion, you realized that she was only looking out for her interests and those of her family.
"Thanks for the advice. I'll keep it in mind"
She smiled and immediately left a kiss on your forehead, which could have been taken as a maternal kiss but which you didn't like at all. The longer you can postpone suffering, the better. If Aegon didn't even want to look at you, it was perfect.
That night, as soon as you touched the mattress and the silk sheets that decorated it, you began to cry until you fell asleep.
SECOND ACT: CONTROL
Time passed again and although the punishment of not leaving your room was not revoked, you found multiple activities with which to entertain yourself in the prince's absence. You filled your mornings and afternoons with reading, writing, knitting and embroidering. The nights were even more boring because most of the time your husband wasn't there either.
Rumors that you hadnโt yet consummated the marriage had spread through the halls of the palace and soon the smallfolk would murmur too. After all, the people couldnโt entertain themselves with anything more than the gossip and the plays that were going on in the poor neighborhoods, making fun of royal affairs.
You no longer even had the energy to deny those accusations and Aegon had given you the perfect opportunity by throwing you out of his room and refusing to leave the four walls of yours: if you didn't leave there, there was no way anyone would question you. And since you didn't have family inside the Keep, you didn't have any visitors either.
One night, however, your husband surprised you by entering your room. It had been days since you two had seen each other and his staggering around the room warned you that he was drunk again. You often wondered how he resisted drinking so much and the long-term effects it would have on his health, but right now your mind could only focus on the fear of what he might want in that state.
โGood night, dear,โ he drawled, sounding as sarcastic as possible.
You were in your nightgown and you were carrying in your hand an old book that you had been reading and that you threw on the nightstand as soon as you saw him approaching you. You didn't have time to say or do anything else when he had already approached you in giant steps to grab you by the back of your neck and start kissing you. He was abrupt, careless, with his mouth smelling of wine and tasting even worse. You wanted to cry from helplessness.
โIt's what everyone wants, isn't it?โ he murmured, separating himself from you, but still holding you by the hair at the back of your neck. โA marriage arranged in a couple of days to form alliances. And that's it, my life was ruined thanks to my father wanting your stupid castle to expand his domain."
The truth is that couldn't be further from the truth. Viserysโs ambition had never been that, as he had been so little involved in the process that he simply didnโt care who his children were or were not married to. Except for Rhaenyra, of course.
Aegon continued:
"I didnโt want this. I didn't want to marry you, or anyone..."
โAnd you think I do?โ you confronted him.
You were tired of the insult, the humiliation and him ignoring you as if you were worthless; even if that was what a husband did. And the most likely thing was that your words would be forgotten due to alcohol or that they would put an end to the wait for your suffering to begin and Aegon decided to take you once and for all.
โYou have nothing to lose, prince,โ you continued. โYou get drunk as much as you want, you run away from your responsibilities and walk everywhere when I have to stay locked up here all day just because you want me to. I have to endure the suspicious looks of everyone because I still don't have an heir in the womb while you go and fuck your whores."
โI'm the prince and I fuck whoever I want, did you hear me?โ he hissed. The grip on your hair had already begun to become painful and a few tears slipped down your cheeks โAnd I stop fucking whoever I want too. I'm not going to please anyone by getting you pregnant. There they will see if they come and force me to put my cock in youโ
โDo you doubt that, your grace?โ you exclaimed bitterly โDoubts that will force us to conceive?โ
โSo that's what you want? Do you want me to do it?โ
โI want to go home. That is what I want. But my father used me as a bargaining chip and that's why I can't do anything."
โI'm sorry it was like that. If I had chosen my wife, I would surely have chosen someone prettier and more educated than you, but I can't do much either."
Once again, the man pushed you until your lips joined his and the same discomfort settled in you. He didn't kiss you with love, but with fury and violence to the point that you had to push him away when he bit you so hard that a trickle of blood began to come out of your lower lip. Aegon was also stained by it and with an acidic smile he ran the tip of his tongue all over his mouth to remove any traces.
Looking at you he didn't look happy, but he didn't look angry either. He just seemed fed up.
Everyone knew, or suspected, that the prince was very capable of taking sexual advantage of any woman. He had done it before with maids and prostitutes and had slept peacefully throughout that time. However, there was something about you that encouraged him not to. He didn't even think it was something about you specifically but about the situation, because he wanted to do the opposite of what he was ordered: if everyone ordered him to take you to have an heir, it automatically became an unpleasant act and at the same time that he refused.
He was hurt, not because of you but because of years and years of abuse and neglect. He didn't really know you at all, he only knew what you represented.
You were just the unlucky one who had married him.
"I hate you. I hate that you are my wife and you are not worthy of me even touching youโ he snapped with disdain. You were still fighting to keep the tears inside your eyes and his vision had also blurred slightly โI wish I had never met you.โ
โThe feeling is mutual, your grace,โ you expressed, your voice breaking. If it was an offense to the crown, you wouldn't even care anymore and if he killed you right there you wouldn't regret it too much either.
Aegon looked at you one last time before staggering back out the door without another word, closing it behind him with a loud gesture and leaving you alone in the room. The reality that you had escaped, once again, from being raped by the man fell on you like a bucket of cold water and your knees weakened until you fell to the floor.
You were hurt, tired, and defeated by the stress of the situation and the fear that had washed over you the entire time. Luckily he was gone, otherwise you didn't know if you would have endured what he had to do to you. It was better to have him busy in a brothel than to have to endure him in your bed.
You wished you could talk to someone and cry on a loved oneโs shoulder, only to realize a second later that that was impossible. Aegon was your new family, now you belonged to the Targaryens and you would have to do as they wished.
Anger completely overwhelmed you to the point where you stood up from your seat and began throwing pieces of glassware all over the room, in a violent outburst at what had just happened and the way you felt. None of the guards outside your door dared to come in to check on you and soon enough you fell back to the ground, exhausted from the effort.
As you cried, perhaps for the umpteenth time since you had been married, you thought about how you would never be able to love Prince Aegon. Not even if you tried.
THIRD ACT: PAIN
After months, the inevitable arrived. The truth was that the first time you felt sorrow and anger, but the following times it became more tolerable. Not because it was better, but because you began to get used to it. Aegon didn't change his attitude towards you one bit. You indeed spent more time together, although that didnโt mean that you got along better or that you had begun to have more sympathy for each other.
The only advantage was that you had started to be friends with some people in the palace. Your sister-in-law, to begin with, as well as some of the maids who were in charge of looking after you, as they turned out to be your only company during those days. Those distractions were more than enough for you, considering the situation you were in, and they kept you sane as time went by.
Almost like a punishment from heaven, it seemed that you werenโt pregnant yet, since your biological processes seemed to continue working to the letter. That meant that, unfortunately, you would have to keep trying; when Aegon was lost enough to forget who you were and you had to stand still as a statue to let him loom over you.
You often liked to imagine what your life would have been like if you had stayed in Highgarden. Nobody knew it yet, but there you had found your first love and although it never went beyond a few kisses, you treasured the memory with particular affection. You had always wanted to marry a sweet man who loved and respected you, who would give you your place as a wife and adore you day and night; someone with whom you could feel protected, cared for, but above all happy. You thought, naively, that that boy you had met and who was nothing more than a commoner could have given you that life, but all those possibilities were nothing more than fantasies in which you tried to lock yourself in to feel less miserable with your unpleasant reality.
One night Helaena had invited you to a modest dinner in her company that you couldn't refuse, since none of your husbands were present and some time with friends could clear your mind. You didn't even know where the prince was, although it was expected that he was spending some time in the town with his friends.
โSometimes I feel sad about our situation,โ said the blonde. You were in the privacy of her chambers, not even with the maids present, so confessions like that were allowed โBut I am happy that you are my friend, something that wouldnโt have been possible otherwise.โ
โI'm glad to talk to you too,โ you smiled sincerely. โYou're the best thing I've found around here.โ
โMy brothers aren't that bad, they're justโฆ well, we've had a hard life. And that's why they behave like that."
โI think there is no justification for being aโฆโ idiot, you wanted to say, but you had to remember that you were in the presence of the princess, โa person who is rude to others. But I guess that happens with royalty, right? They do what they want without consequencesโ
"I guess so. Kings, princes, the heirs, lords, dukesโฆโ
โOkay, I get it,โ you laughed bitterly โIt's probably a masculine quality.โ
You never thought your sister-in-law would have that kind of humor and to be honest, most of the time she was a comic relief for the situations you two were going through. Sometimes her prophecies scared you, especially the way she phrased them, but you wanted to think that her premonitions would never affect you directly.
When you finally got tired of chatting and the food was finished, you decided to return to your room, so you could have a peaceful night's rest. It was raining outside and thunder echoed in the distance, making the atmosphere slightly gloomy, but at the same time cooling every corner of King's landing.
The novelty of your position was no longer important enough to require you to be escorted by guards twenty-four hours a day, so you were able to slowly walk through all the corridors that led to your sanctuary. It was modest but cute, although not on the level of Aegonโs.
A man was guarding the door and you bowed your head to him to let you pass, which he did without any opposition. Once inside you got rid of your shoes and unbuttoned your corset, not caring that the room was almost in darkness; only the moonlight illuminated from the window. You took a few steps forward and squealed when you discovered that there was another person in the room, sitting at the small table with a drink in his hand. You would have started screaming for help if you hadn't noticed that said intruder had silver hair falling like a curtain over his face.
"Your grace?" you asked cautiously.
It isnโt usual for Aegon to drink in your room, as he preferred other places with more interesting company, and when you didnโt receive an answer you approached slowly. You thought that at best he had simply fallen asleep and at worst he would be dead.
At first his long, wavy hair covered your view of his face, but when he noticed your presence he raised his head and then you could see him. His features became clearer as lightning illuminated him from the outside and for a second you were horrified.
His cheek was red and a trickle of blood was dripping from his nose, however, what surprised you the most was seeing his eyes completely swollen.
โFor the seven, Iโฆ I'll go call a maesterโ
โDon't even think about it,โ he exclaimed hoarsely, seeing that you were already rushing towards the door.
Your husband didn't sound like his usual angry tone, but rather he seemed... hurt.
You thought for a second about what the appropriate reaction to the situation was. You couldn't leave the room because, in addition to the guards murmuring, it would be impolite to leave him in that state; also, where would you go? If you ignored him, he would probably take it as an insult and he had already made it clear that he didn't want to see someone who could take care of those injuries.
You hated him, it was true, but you weren't an insensitive monster either.
"Who did this to you?"
Aegon was surprised by how soft, even kind, your question sounded and the intoxication gave him some courage to answer.
โMy mother and my grandfather. Mostly my mother, my grandfather rather dedicated his efforts to reminding me how useless I amโ
You didn't know what to say. You never believed that the queen would be capable of hitting one of her sons like that. You didn't believe it from any mother, actually.
With some trepidation you took one of the chairs and placed it in front of him, expecting him to immediately push you away or ask you to get out of his sight. However, the prince didn't seem to have enough energy to do any of those things.
He had a lost look on his face and tears began to run down his face.
โNothingโฆ nothing I do pleases her. Neither to her, nor to my grandfather. All the time they are pressuring me, demanding me, yelling at me. Apparently Otto still hopes that my father will name me king, but I've never wanted that. They blame me for drinking all the time and how do they expect them not to? My father cares so little about me and my mother hates me. All his life he has hated me. She does it, my brothersโฆ and so do you. My own wife hates me. Everyoneโฆ everyone who knows me does itโ
You were silent for a moment.
There were mixed feelings inside you, because you couldn't forget the mistreatment that the man had given you during those months, nor the way he used you for his pleasure. He was right when he said you hated him. However, there was a compassionate part of you, deep down, that felt sorry for the man's state.
โAnd sometimes I just want to be dead. I just wish all the shit would go away and drowning in alcohol and dying would take away Alicent's problem and allow her to focus her attention on something betterโ
His gaze lifted and he looked at you with crystallized eyes.
โMaybe you should poison me one day. So your suffering would also endโ
โYour highness, I cannot do thatโ
โBut would you like it? Do you hate me enough to wish me dead?โ
โOf course not,โ you said quickly.
"Liar. You lie like everyone else. You want me deadโ
You knew that saying something negative at that moment, in the state he was in, could result in him making some incoherence that you would be blamed for the next morning. So it was best to act cautiously.
โI don't think anyone wants thatโ
โMy mother does. My father, Rhaenyra does it, and so does her stupid new husbandโฆโ
โYour graceโฆโ you interrupted him harshly. Listening to him sink into his self-indulgence was too much to bear โYou better go to sleep, don't you think? Now you're not thinking clearly, you'll feel better in the morning."
But Aegon seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, oblivious to anything you had to say to him.
โI guess I just wish someone wouldn't completely detest my existence, you know?โ
Aegon had done terrible things to you, of course, but seeing him at that moment made you wonder if all of this was the product of poor parenting and psychological abuse that had been perpetuated for twenty long years. You couldn't say your father loved you, not after what he had done, but at least he hadn't constantly hurt you as the man in front of you had. You knew better than anyone that hate had to be healed with empathy and for a brief moment you felt soft for him.
Once Aegon was a small child, without sins, without accumulated hatred, without evil... and apparently that frightened child hadnโt been completely buried, because it was him who cried inconsolably and saw death as a viable alternative to end that suffering. However, there is no redemption without guilt, right? You don't get to heaven without first repenting.
You stayed silent for a long time, listening to him sob, and when you gathered the courage you spoke:
โPrince, can I be honest with you?โ
You had spoken in a low and benevolent voice, while you slid from your chair until you were kneeling in front of him. The boy didn't even want to take advantage of that position for a sexual act, he was simply too tired and drained to think. You placed your hands on his knees and seeing that he nodded, you continued:
โYou say you wish someone wouldn't hate you, but have you ever made an effort to do so? Or have you even wondered why people feel that way about you?โ
โIt's something natural for themโ
โI didn't feel it,โ you said, honestly. You hated the idea of getting married out of obligation, but if he had been different from the beginning maybe your feelings for him would be too โAnd you made me feel it. With your contempt, your humiliations, your punishmentsโฆโ
โIf everyone thinks you're a monster, what's the point of contradicting them?โ
โAnd then you prefer to agree with them?โ
You were probably taking too many liberties with the prince, but you would never have a chance to talk to him like that again. He was vulnerable and therefore less defensive than normal.
โEvery person is responsible for their actions,โ you continued. โYou can't change how the queen or king feels about you, but you can choose to offer something better to others. If itโs your desire that people not hate you, that wonโt happen overnight just because you tell it to. It takes time, effort and above all it requires kindness. If you live regretting the concept that people have of you, without doing anything to change it, then you will live a lifetime of dissatisfaction. If you seriously want someone to feel happy about your existence then pursue that goal, donโt expect it to be granted to you as a divine work.โ
A deeper cry began to well up from the man and you almost thought he would lean down for your hug. Still, he didn't.
โI don't know how to be someone else. I have always been thisโ
โNot always, that's for sure. Water that stagnates rots and becomes a swamp. The one that runs, on the other hand, becomes a river and flows into the ocean.โ
You raised the handkerchief you always carried and, in an act of kindness that was also intended to be an offering of peace, you gently wiped the tears and dried blood from his face. Aegon squirmed as he had never experienced that kind of care.
โYou just have to ask yourself: what do you choose to be?โ
For an endless moment he watched you. His judgment was clouded by drunkenness, but he wondered if he wasn't hallucinating and you were simply the voice of his conscience telling him something he had never wanted to accept.
It was easier to blame others for his mistakes, to justify himself by saying that everything about him was his mother's fault and that if he behaved the way he did it was only a defense mechanism. Aegon had never thought about how his treatment of women was a direct consequence of Alicent's upbringing: if his own mother had hurt him, why wouldn't other women do the same to him? And since he was convinced that they were all going to do it, he preferred to turn them into objects that he could use for his benefit.
He was so drunk and so exhausted from all the crying he had shed that he simply pushed your hand away from his face and stood up from the chair, without saying a word. You, now standing, saw him begin to undress and the first thing you thought was that he would seek to heal his sorrows by having sex with you. However, he only got rid of the essentials and then lay on his stomach on the bed. Without any choice, you took off your clothes for the day, put on a nightgown and also lay down on the mattress to sleep.
You were sure that the next day Aegon wouldnโt remember anything and you weighed the possibility of the whole story repeating itself, in an endless and painful loop for the two of you. And if you were right, it would be a shame if you had to live like this for the rest of your days.
FOURTH ACT: REDEMPTION
โDo you know where Meryna is?โ you asked one of the maids who had come in to change your bedding.
โNo, your graceโ
โI'm starting to get hungry and she still hasn't brought my breakfast,โ you exclaimed sadly.
You had woken up a while ago and had gotten dressed to go for a walk after eating, to see if this would cheer you up a little. It had been a few days since Aegon had opened up in the privacy of your room and after that you had barely seen him, much less spoken to him. You believed that everything was due to a matter of pride or even shame for what you had witnessed and you simply didnโt give it importance, because you knew that eventually he would approach you again. You just had to wait for him to want to do it.
Almost as if by summons, the black-haired girl appeared through the door, looking agitated and embarrassed by the delay. Furthermore, she came empty-handed.
"Princessโฆ"
โDidn't you bring breakfast?โ you asked, still sounding cordial but slightly surprised.
โI'm very sorry, it's just that Prince Aegon asked me to bring the food to the royal dining room. He is waiting for you there, he told me to come and get you.โ
He hadnโt mentioned requiring your presence for any breakfast and, according to you, there were no guests in the palace to accompany. The two women noticed your dismay and Meryna stood waiting for a response.
โDid he tell you why?โ
โNo, your graceโ
"Good. Then tell him I'll be there in a moment."
You only took a few minutes to change your dress, one more suitable for being in the presence of the prince and in case there was a guest you didn't know about. There were no guards at your door so you were able to walk to the dining room by yourself and were surprised to see that only your husband was at the table. He had an expression that you interpreted as a mix of impatience and nerves.
โOh, you finally arrived. Sit down. You, bring the princess something to drink,โ he ordered a maid. He used to call you that in the presence of guests, but it was rare for him to have that courtesy when alone.
โAre we waiting for someone?โ
"No. I just thought you might want to have breakfast together.โ
You were already sitting next to him, and for a second you watched him with a frown. Had he hit his head somewhere or why was he acting so strange?
โDo you prefer juice or wine, your highness?
"Juice"
โAnd bring her some strawberries,โ Aegon exclaimed.
There was something about the situation that scared you, because you imagined that he wouldn't be treating you so kindly without wanting something in return. But you were already his wife and he did whatever he wanted with you, what more could he want from you?
You looked him up and down, as if searching for some sign, but he looked completely normal. He was wearing one of those full black robes he was used to, with a golden chain with emeralds decorating the hem of his neck and a belt accentuating his figure. The dark circles in his eyes were pronounced, as always, but the look was not that of someone angry; you would even say that he looked somewhat passive, even sleepy.
While you were thinking about all that, you remembered the last conversation you had had with him. You feared that madness had finally exploded in your husband and the food you were about to eat was poisoned, as he had suggested at the time. Perhaps out of courtesy he was waiting for you to take the first bite and, trying to control the trembling in your hands, you took a portion of the cold cuts on your plate to put it in your mouth. Luckily the food didn't taste different and after seeing that the man ate it with the utmost calmness, you assumed that it didn't contain any poison either.
There was freshly baked bread, jam, some cheeses, the aforementioned cold cuts, a variety of fruits, scrambled eggs with fresh herbs and chives, as well as some stuffed buns for dessert. It was a mini banquet and as you ate it you couldn't help but wonder why this show of kindness was due.
Aegon didn't seem to have any intention of talking and you didn't try to force him, not wanting to either. The atmosphere was one of peace and tranquility, one you had not experienced since your wedding day until now, and it was a very different but strangely pleasant feeling.
It was just a couple sharing breakfast time, but for two people who come from such a broken home it felt like a totally new experience.
You continued in silence until most of the things served were finished, leaving only what wasnโt to your palate's liking or that your body was simply no longer able to ingest.
โDo you need anything else, your majesty?โ
โClear this table, we won't eat anymore,โ he said to the maid, nonchalantly pointing to the leftovers you had left. Then he looked at you โSatisfied?โ
"I am. Everything was deliciousโ
โI want us to do the same tomorrow. I will send a maid for you, so get ready soon,โ he said decisively.
Then he got up from his chair, stretched a little, and left the room without saying anything else to you.
You didn't see your husband the rest of the day, but the next morning he kept his promise without fail. Although the breakfast menu was different the routine was the same and again it made you wonder what the reason for it was.
The next day he also requested your presence for breakfast and you concluded that he intended to make it a habit. For the rest of the morning you were supposed to dedicate yourself to your activities, but after a week of following that routine Aegon informed you that he had other plans for you.
โI want you to come with me for a walk.โ
"To the exterior?"
"Yeah. I have training with Ser Criston but I don't wish to attend, so you will be my excuse. I'll tell him that the princess wanted to go for a walk and that I couldn't let her go alone."
He was telling you that lie almost like a childish prank and you would swear he was about to smile.
โHuh, okay. If you want it, we willโ
You were still confused by his actions, because in all the time you had been there it was the first time he treated you decently. You didn't know if he was still drinking in large quantities, but at least when he went to sleep he no longer reeked of liquor in the same way. And all that week he hadn't forced you to have sex with him.
What had motivated the prince to change his way of behaving towards you?
"Do you want to go to the beach? I will order a couple of horses to be saddled for usโ he exclaimed when you had already left the dining room.
You couldn't refuse to go to the bay, because in your entire life you had never seen the ocean and your curiosity was greater than any other feeling. Besides, you loved horses, and being with them might even make you feel better.
Aegon did as he told you and soon enough you were in the stable. He had ordered a beautiful white mare for you, with a silver mane the color of your husband's hair and a formidable build.
You approached to pet the animal, carefully, and tensed completely when you felt another body behind yours. Until that moment you hadn't realized how warm your husband was.
โShe's pretty, right?โ
His voice sounded at your ear level, as he had also reached out to touch Frostfireโs hair.
"She is"
โI guess you know how to ride,โ he muttered under his breath and you let out an offended sigh.
โOf course I do. Highgarden is the heart of the chivalry of the seven kingdomsโ
After saying that you turned your head just a little and met his gaze, indigo eyes with hints of lilac looking at you carefully. You could feel his breath against yours and at that closeness your cheeks had already turned red involuntarily.
He separated from you and then went to choose his horse, a black thoroughbred with beautiful braids, to get on it and ask the guards to open the door for you. You almost managed to sneak away, but Ser Criston stopped the two of you just before you could do so, claiming that he had a scheduled practice with the prince.
โI'm taking my wife to Blackwater, she hasn't had a chance to visit since her arrival.โ
โBut your grace, your fatherโฆโ
โWe will continue with training later, Ser Criston,โ he said firmly.
โWill you go to Blackwater without an escort?โ
โI willโ
"That's impossible"
โDon't worry, I don't want to be accompanied. Just rest for now.โ
โBut you are the prince.โ
"Exactly. I am the prince and I want my orders to be respected."
The boy was a smug son of a bitch when he put his mind to it, just like now. The man had no choice but to obey the words and then the two of you were able to leave. You could get there on foot, but Aegon had felt like riding and had wanted an alternative to quickly escape if something went wrong.
You walked along a path that still belonged to the Red Keep grounds, so there was no great danger of being attacked along the way, and you soon reached the bay. It was even more beautiful up close and as soon as you got off the mare you forgot any courtesy towards your husband, as you rushed towards the shore to watch the waves crash. Your pumps and dress were soaked when the water reached your calves, but it didn't bother you too much because you were happy for the reason.
โHave you never been to the ocean?โ
โI'm afraid not, your grace. There was never any business that required me to be on the coast of The Reach and I have always lived surrounded by hills and forests. I had seen some rivers, butโฆโ
Before you could continue your story you staggered because of a wave and to avoid falling you tried to hold on to whatever was within reach, which turned out to be the man next to you. He supported you from the elbows with his strong arms.
โOh, I'm so sorry.โ
โItโs okay,โ he laughed. For the first time in your presence, he had laughed โBut we should get away from the shore. I wouldn't want to take you back to the castle all soakedโ
You heeded the boy's advice and, still leaning on him, walked towards the sand. The sky was slightly cloudy, so the weather was perfect for walking around without any discomfort.
โI've never visited Highgarden, is it as impressive as rumored?โ he asked, as he began to walk in the opposite direction of the Red Keep.
Although you never believed that the prince would be interested in such things, you began to talk to him about your hometown with particular emotion. You told him about his surroundings, about the castle and you also told in greater detail the gardens that once belonged to you and were full of golden roses, as was the emblem of your house.
You were surprised by how attentive the boy was to everything you had to say to him and for the first time since your arrival, you didn't feel like a stranger in your own skin. Talking about your home was like remembering a part of yourself, as if you were showing him your insides through stories of the beautiful hills where you had ridden so many times.
โEverything sounds wonderful,โ he concluded. The sea breeze had already ruffled both of your hair and he took advantage of this to brush a strand out of your face โSomeday I should go visit itโ
โYes, maybe you would like thatโ you exclaimed smiling. You had come too far and it was time to walk back, towards where you had left Frostfire and Moonshadow tied up โYour grace, may I ask you a question?โ
"Yeah"
You opened your mouth to ask him why he was doing all that and why he had suddenly started showing so much interest in you. You wanted to know the reason for his unexpected kindness and his abstinence from activities that werenโt very pleasant for you. But before you could speak, you took a moment to observe him. His skin looked paler in the light outside and his silver hair waved in the wind, however, what caught your attention the most was the serene expression on his face.
Although you couldn't say that you knew Aegon, the time you had lived together had shown you that his personality was extremely challenging. If you pointed out that he was being nicer to you and questioned him about it, he would most likely revert to his old behavior towards you simply on a whim. So no, you couldn't ask him about anything or you'd ruin the minuscule part of a good relationship you had managed to build.
โI was thinking... Do you think we can one day bring golden roses to the royal gardens? Green and gold are part of your emblem too and that would beautify the place. I could take care of them, if you want.โ
โThat's a good idea,โ he exclaimed happily. You had already turned around to return and you calculated that it must be after noon โI will order them to be brought in as soon as possible, in the hope that the hot weather at King's landing will not ruin themโ
โI hope not,โ you said, although a little less enthusiastic than before.
You had been lost in thought after the appearance of that question that you did not verbalize and suddenly Aegon feared that he had made some mistake. You walked a few meters in silence, until this state was unbearable for his majesty and he stopped you by holding your shoulders. You were about to ask what had happened when he pulled you against his lips, stealing your breath. It was still a rough kiss, but this time less desperate than before. His hands went down to your waist and held you to his body until there wasnโt even a centimeter of distance left, with your belly touching the heat of his stomach.
โStill no signs that you are pregnant?โ
You thought that, perhaps, your answer was in that question and that the only thing the man wanted was to convince you to hurry up the matter of producing an heir.
โI'm sorry to say no. It's very unfortunate."
โWe'll have to keep trying,โ he said, shrugging his shoulders as if he wanted to downplay the matter โMother insists on it.โ
โHas your mother always been like this to you?โ
"What are you talking about?"
โIt's justโฆ she seems to have everything under control all the time.โ
You couldn't be further from the truth and rather than describing it that way Aegon would have said that she was controlling. She wanted to have things under control, but she couldn't and as an example was the eldest prince himself, whom she had never been able to persuade to behave the way he did.
โWell, she is the queen. I guess that's how she must beโ he exclaimed without much encouragement. He was still holding you by the waist and was surprised by how intimate that position was. โBut we better get back, they must be wondering where we areโ
โMaybe they even think I ran away, taking advantage of the fact that you weren't there to watch me,โ you joked.
"Would you do it?"
"Do what?"
โRun awayโ
You looked at the man, incredulous, because it was stupid to think that if you were planning to run away you would just tell him like that. That was the characteristic of it, that it was surprising and hidden.
โWhy would I do, your grace?โ
โMaybe because I'm a bad husband,โ he said quietly. You weren't understanding the game Aegon was playing and it was driving you crazy.
โI wouldn't dare do it. I have nowhere to go and I know I couldn't even get through the doors without your majesty noticing,โ you replied.
The prince didnโt want pragmatic reasons like that, but rather his question was more aimed at whether it was your will to abandon him.
Against all odds a couple of raindrops began to fall and very soon a storm had already brewed over your head. It was useless to run, but you did it anyway and Aegon held your hand to prevent either of you from falling due to a trip. Somewhere along the way you lost one of your pumps and at this you began to laugh and he, infected by your joy, did the same. It amused you greatly to think of the face the queen would make when she saw you enter the castle, with her eldest son soaked from head to toe and your clothing incomplete. But you also laughed from the joy of feeling so alive in that moment. You felt like a girl playing in the rain and despite the coldness of the falling water, you felt a certain warmth traveling from the tips of your fingers to your chest.
Although he was sure that you were an excellent rider, your husband insisted on taking you on his own horse to avoid any accidents and you agreed without complaint. His body sheltered you all the way to the Red Keep and once there, under the roof, he helped you down from the chair with extreme care. You didn't think he was that strong until you felt him grab your waist and place you on the floor effortlessly.
โAsk the maids to prepare a bath for you, or you will catch a cold,โ he said, putting on your back a cloak he had found hanging on one of the walls.
There was the hint of a smile on his face and seeing him behave like this towards you made you feel weird. You almost felt like he was trying to be affectionate with you, even though he wasn't quite succeeding.
โYou should do the same,โ you exclaimed softly.
Motivated by the kind moment you had shared, you reached out to brush away the wet hair that had stuck to his face and he shivered at your touch. It was the first time you touched him that way, out of conviction and with care.
โYour majesty, Lord Hand is looking for you. He says he needs to talk to you urgently."
โMy grandfather,โ he sighed at you, as if wanting to apologize for the words the guard behind you had just said.
He gave the man Moonshadow's reins and then explained that someone had to go get the horse you had left in the bay, so you assumed your presence there was no longer necessary. You were about to leave when he stopped you, grabbing your arm somewhat roughly and looking at you with a feeling that you couldn't decipher.
โI'll go to your room tonight,โ he informed.
You felt a little disappointed by the reality of having to share a bed with him, after so long without having done so, but you were grateful that he was at least warning you.
You nodded your goodbyes and he did the same, forming an unspoken agreement. You thought maybe that was why he had been polite to you, so he could get back under your bed sheets. But there was no point in doing it, he wasn't courting you to win your hand, but you were already his wife and he had made it very clear that he could do with you whatever he wanted.
Still a little confused, you were escorted to your bedroom, where you hoped that a tub with hot water and essences would be enough to appease all those doubts that were growing in you.
FIFTH ACT: LOVE
At some point Aegon would get tired of all this, you were sure. But while that moment arrived, you were thoroughly enjoying all kinds of attention you received from your husband. He kept his promise to bring golden roses for the gardens and although the queen wasnโt very happy, in the end they adorned some of the busiest sections of the place. You took that as an act of good faith, so you thought that maybe the thought of repaying him for some of the decency he was showing you wouldn't kill you.
There wasnโt a single breakfast that you skipped, except when the prince was required for political matters or had to travel. You were too proud to admit that you had begun to genuinely enjoy his company, as you still had some distrust due to how temperamental the man was. It wasn't all sunshine and flowers, as the young man still had some outbursts that made you fear him and reminded you that this was who you were really talking to.
His drinking habits hadnโt changed much, since although he was able to handle it during the first week after that period, it was inevitable that he would go back to his old ways and drink an entire jug of wine in a couple of minutes. With sex it was the same, because he continued to fuck you without signs of care and regularly when he was lost in drink. It amused you to think that perhaps that was the reason why you still didn't carry a child in your womb; that he was too drunk when you tried to be of any use.
However, as your relationship strengthened you could notice slight (you almost swore they were imaginary) changes when having sex. He was no longer as rough towards your body as before and tried to thrust into you a little slower, as if he wanted to lengthen the moment and not just unload into you and sleep like a baby after that. Maybe it was just that the drink made him lethargic, but he had even started seeking your lips in the middle of the act or kissing everything within reach of the skin on your neck. You didn't intend to spend much time analyzing his behavior because for you it already represented a victory that he had stopped hurting you after every time you had sex and, honestly, you didn't want to inquire about it. Once again you thought it was more prudent not to question the prince and simply let him continue behaving that way.
Until one night, things looked different for you.
When you heard your husband open the door, quite late at night, and saw him approach your bed, you knew that the same dynamic of nighttime visits would take place. Aegon, already hard as a rock, would kiss you a few times, undress, order you to undress, and then position on top of you to satisfy himself. Needless to say, under the confidence that being in the dark gave you and your husband's lack of interest, you looked away or concentrated on something else while your martyrdom was carried out. He would finish, lie naked next to you, and then sleep soundly with no memory the next morning of what had happened.
Aegon called your name, just to check that you were awake or otherwise wake you up, and you were surprised to hear that his voice sounded quite normal. He wasn't slurring his words like usual.
"Your grace?" you called back, propping yourself up on your elbows so you could look at him.
He did what was expected and as soon as he was far enough away, he started kissing you. You must have known something was wrong from that first moment, when he grabbed your cheek with his wide hand and offered you the most passionate kiss you had ever had. It is reiterated that Aegon was always somewhat careless in intimacy, but this first contact hadnโt felt as impatient as others, but rather was something more careful and planned.
Only one other man had kissed you like that in your life and although the feeling brewing in your chest must have been pleasant, the truth was that it wasn't. You had endured too much abuse from the white-haired man so your body didn't know how to react otherwise. That's why when he continued kissing you for longer than usual and then laid you down meekly, you couldn't do anything but tense uncomfortably.
You were only in your nightgown so there wasn't much difficulty in sliding the straps to the side, almost exposing your tits. Suddenly Aegon lowered his kisses to your neck, where his stubble scratched your skin. Knowing that he would be busy in that area, you turned your head away to focus your gaze on a tapestry on the wall. However, you got a surprise when you felt the prince move away from you and then a bigger one when he took your face between his fingers, placing his index finger and thumb on each of your cheeks to force you to look at him. At first you thought there was anger in his eyes, but after looking at them for a second more you concluded that the feeling was more like that of someone insulted. And why? you asked yourself. What had you done that had offended the prince?
โWhy are you looking away?โ
His question had a certain aggressive tone, but, at the same time, he sounded hurt. With that you confirmed that he wasnโt drunk or that, if he was, he had drunk just enough to make him feel slightly dizzy. You couldn't tell the way your eyes looked at him, but Aegon interpreted your expression as one of disdain.
Unbeknownst to you, he had his own whirlwind of feelings inside him, one that was driving him crazy and causing him to look you up and down while still holding you. Heโd never been like this on another night, so you were at the mercy of knowing how good or bad that would turn out.
Suddenly he seemed upset, you would even say disgusted, and surprisingly stood up from his position. The cold air hit you where he had been before and you sat on the bed to watch him, completely confused by the way he was behaving.
"What's going onโฆ?"
โYou don't want this,โ he spoke firmly. It was obvious that you didn't want to and you wondered how he had barely realized it. โNot like thatโฆ Iโฆ no. Not this way"
His babbling confused you even more and when you saw him walk away with exaggerated steps until he left through the door, you couldn't help but feel totally amazed.
What was the reason for what your husband had just done?
The feeling of being abandoned was more hopeless than having him fuck you would have been, and for a moment you even felt ashamed. Maybe he didn't like you anymore or he would just go and cure his frustration in the bed of a woman you didn't know.
He had watched you very strangely and the whole scene wasn't like him. You even pinched yourself just to check that it wasn't some strange dream, getting a moan of pain in response to your question. You thought that perhaps you were acting impulsively, but barely a minute later you put on a green robe over your nightgown and headed towards the door, still not knowing exactly what you were going to do.
โWhere are you going, your grace?โ the guard on duty asked, putting his voluptuous body in your way.
โPrince Aegon, do you know where he went?โ
โIn that direction, your majesty. But I'm afraid I must recommend that you return to your room, it is dangerous to walk around the palace at this time."
โBut I wish to see my husband,โ you said firmly.
The man let out a sigh and then slid to the side of the hallway, leaving you a clear path. Even so, when you started walking you felt his footsteps following you because he probably wanted to make sure that something didn't happen to you. You walked for a while, but you knew it was useless when all you found were locked doors that you couldn't knock on and that you couldn't open either. If Aegon was in any of those rooms, you wouldn't know it. Defeated, you returned to your room and, as expected, found it empty again.
The next morning there wasnโt a single word about that event, but it was present in your mind throughout the day. You had already lived with him enough to realize that something was bothering him, however, upon noticing that he was less talkative during your usual breakfast, you decided to give him time.
You were about to leave the table when he stopped you, asking you to take your seat again and looking at you seriously.
โI have to travel for a couple of weeks,โ he informed you. You were surprised to hear that he almost sounded sad โThe king is required on some business and since my father can no longer travel, I will have to do it.โ
โI hope the entire journey is favorable and the visit profitable, your grace,โ you exclaimed cordially. However, your husband didnโt seem pleased with it.
One of his hands slid to hold yours, with a strength that surprised you. There was urgency in his grip, like he needed to hold on to something.
โIs that all you have to say?โ
A couple of wrinkles appeared on your brow, as you clearly weren't understanding what he expected of you. Accompanying him would be reckless and you didn't know if he wanted you to keep him there at King's landing.
During those last months something had changed in the man's face, because those eyes surrounded by purple marks no longer saw you with the same aversion as the first time. And it disheartened Aegon that his attempts to please you were yielding no apparent fruit. He was giving you time, effort, and being kind to you like you had said was necessary, but he still couldn't help but feel that you still considered him a stranger.
He had been patient because he thought that, as time went by, you would begin to seek him out or not shy away from his touch. Aegon cared a lot about the physical, so every time he sneaked into your room he did so with the hope that you would welcome him with open arms and give yourself to him willingly. Countless nights he waited in his own room for you to show up to keep him warm and love him throughout the night. But it never happened and a part of him couldn't blame you either.
However, he was already tired of it. He wanted to make it clear to you that he not only wanted to give, but also receive. But forcing you to do anything would ruin everything; you had to want it.
โHave I said something that offended you, prince?โ
โI just thought you would say you were going to miss meโ
A laugh echoed in your throat at those words and for a second Aegon felt hurt, like you were mocking you. He was going to let go of your hand and walk away, insulted, but you squeezed his hand harder as a sign that you didn't want him to do that.
โI'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh at you. I just didn't think that if I harbored feelings of that kind they would be of interest to your majesty."
โDo you miss me when you don't see me?โ he asked now, allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of you โOr are you glad to have me away?โ
You didn't know what those direct questions were about, because you didn't expect that a man like him would be plagued by uncertainty about knowing the answers.
โNot at all. I will always be willing to be with you whenever you want.โ
โAnd you want to be with me?โ he insisted.
โI think that what I want is not importantโ
โBut I'm trying to make it so. I thought I was making it clear enough,โ
He was angry, but not for the reasons you might think. It frustrated him that he was trying hard to improve and that your eyes continued to see him like that first time. Too many people were already observing him like that and he thought that, perhaps, since you were the most recent to do it, you could also be the first in whom he could manage to modify it.
You, however, were still too confused by his signs. Sometimes his attitude didnโt coincide with the intentions he had, since antipathy was often the only emotion with which he allowed himself to express and feel, accustomed to what he received during all his years of life.
All those months of effort were a direct product of the talk you had had with him, of that moment of weakness in which, instead of ignoring him like everyone else did, you had stayed with him. Aegon was aware that the treatment towards you was sometimes inhumane and he couldnโt explain how despite this you had wiped away his tears with such care, expressing nothing more than an act of integrity. Sometimes he even just imposed things on you to see if he could push you to the limit and he was surprised to see that you endured everything with honor and decency. You were good, something he could never be.
He didn't want to hear anything more and then let go of your hand, feeling rejected again.
"Majestyโฆ"
"It's getting late. I have to go feed Sunfyre so he can endure the trip.โ
โWill you travel by dragon?โ
โHow else would a Targaryen do it?โ expressed obviously.
You were silent for a moment and then he stood up, ready to fulfill his obligations. In the afternoon he had already left, without emotional goodbyes or anything like that.
You had those weeks alone to reflect on everything that had been happening. You firmly believed that a cruel and evil person would always be that way, even if they hid it, because humans canโt change from one day to the next. Still, you had to allow Aegon the courtesy of admitting that he wasn't being a complete jerk lately.
You tried to think of any unpleasant moments with him during that week and although you found a couple, you realized that they had all been because of minor arguments or simply that one of the two of you had woken up in a bad mood. The hatred for the boy had been so ingrained in you that now it was difficult to decipher how much of it was due to things that were really happening and how much of it was a resentment carried from the past, at the beginning of that harmful relationship that existed between you.
He was no longer a mean man to you, he just sometimes had those logical slips for anyone who has never been taught to love. He didn't know how to care for you, how to talk to you, or even how to touch you properly. He had always existed alone and could still be seen reflected in his incessant desire for you to be the one to look for him, in his longing to know that you would miss him during his absence and in wanting you to look forward to his return. He wanted you to pay attention to him. He needed it.
One fine afternoon the vision of Sunfyre finally appeared in the bright blue of the sky, with you watching from the huge window of your room. He looked majestic, flying deftly and confidently with the rider above him grinning from ear to ear. Aegon had once confessed to you that he loved to fly on his dragon and he spoke about it with a devotion that completely touched you.
You thought about going to look for him, grateful that he had returned, but you were afraid that your presence would bother him or, in that case, that there would be murmurs about you. You didn't want to seem like a desperate wife so you thought it would be best to look for him at dinner time and in case he wanted to see you before, you stayed in your room all afternoon.
Once night fell, you put on one of your prettiest dresses and went to the royal dining room hoping to find him there, but it was in vain. Luckily one of the cooks had seen him and he told you that he was in his room, since he had ordered that something to eat and drink be brought there.
Determined, you made your way there and took a moment before entering. You hoped that the time away from King's landing had not hardened your lover's character, because it would be a shame to waste what you had built for some time and have to start over, or not do it at all, which would be even worse. Since there were no guards at the door, you were able to push the wood without any hindrance and then you saw it.
Aegon was sitting near the fireplace, his back to the entrance and leaning against a table that had a jug that you assumed was full (or not so full anymore) of wine. When he heard your footsteps he turned slightly and when he saw you, he kept a serene expression on his face.
โHey,โ he exclaimed quietly.
โThe maids informed me that you were hereโ you explained and he nodded.
You noticed that he no longer wore his black doublet with the Targaryen emblem, he only kept the breeches of the same color and a mint-colored linen shirt that left part of his chest exposed. His white hair had some natural curls that fell delicately over her shoulders.
โYeah. I don't feel like seeing my parents.โ
โI understandโ you assumed that if he hadn't wanted to see you he wouldn't have hesitated to tell you, so you approached him. Undecided whether you should greet him with a kiss or just stay to the side, you placed your hands on his shoulders and leaned a little to look at him โHow was the trip?โ
โIt was good,โ he responded with reluctance. โBut my body feels completely crushedโ
โHm. It showsโ you whispered, amused. The tension in his body was palpable and that's why you began to massage him, pressing hard just where he needed it. Aegon, feeling your skilled hands doing this, let out a satisfied grunt and leaned his head back with his eyes closed.
Doing that wasnโt something you had planned when you went there, it had only happened out of the heat of the moment and the reality that your husband's body was taking its toll on him for the hours he had spent riding his dragon.
With each passing second Aegon's burden felt lighter and lighter, wondering where you had learned those movements and how your hands were strong enough to exert the right pressure.
"Feel better?" you asked kindly and he nodded immediately, eyes still closed.
Suddenly one of your hands slid lower, towards his chest, to caress him. This time your fingers were light as feathers, sending an electrical current up and down the man's spine under your touch. No whore had ever touched him like that, with that force and at the same time so delicately.
But it was clear that you were not a whore. You were his wife.
โCome here,โ he said firmly, reaching out to wrap his hand around your wrist and pulling you directly into his lap.
It was extremely painful to admit that he had missed you. He was physically frustrated because he hadn't dared to take any other woman in your absence. It had been a long time since he had frequented pleasure houses, since his appetite was awakened only by being with you.
What the hell had you done to him?
โThe cook told me that you ordered some food, but I only see wine around here. Have you already eaten anything?โ
โMhmm,โ he said absently. Your legs dangled to the side and one of his hands came up to your face, brushing your loose hair away from it. The other one surrounded you until it planted itself firmly on your belly. โStill no signs of anything?โ
โHonestly, I don't know. The maesters canโt say with certaintyโฆ I am sorryโ
โWhat if you are sterile?โ the mere possibility of it made you nervous and you wondered what your fate would be if that was the case. Aegon didn't look so worried โWhat a disappointment for Alicent.โ
You didn't know how to take that, because on the one hand it could be that your husband was amused by the irony of the matter and on the other hand it was that he would never have wanted to have children with you. For a moment you thought that the tranquility of the environment had been fragmented by this, but it turned out that the man couldn't care less. He was completely focused on your lips, almost as if hypnotized.
โI trust that is not the case, your grace. Justโฆ it was a streak of bad luck.โ
โI guess so,โ he murmured nonchalantly. He was still watching your mouth when you spoke โBut now I donโt care much about that.โ
He carefully grabbed you by the back of your neck and brought you closer to shorten the distance, giving you an eager kiss that took your breath away. The hand that was on your waist pulled you closer to his body, leaving practically no separation between you and him. You could feel the desperation on his lips and in his touch, like he was eager to make you his. And at the same time, he was kissing you like he had never done before: it was sweet, yearning, passionate. You felt like he really wanted you.
He separated from you so you could breathe and, as best he could, he maneuvered to lift your body until he placed you on the table, where it was easier for him to place himself in the space between your legs. You instinctively placed your hands around his neck and wrapped one of your legs around his body.
โI longed for you. These weeksโ you finally confessed. You heard him, and felt him, breathe more erratically at this because your words had fallen on him with the force of an axe.
From there, Aegon acted solely driven by the feeling of knowing that you had wanted to see him as much as he had wanted to see you.
His entire body leaned over you to kiss you, with the same urgency as at the beginning. While he did that he grabbed you by the lower back, pulling you until your body collided with his crotch which, if it wasn't already hard, wouldn't take long.
His kisses were clumsy due to urgency and after a while he moved away from your mouth to descend to your neck. Sometimes he left a kiss or two, at most, but this time he seemed to want to take his time. His tongue ran all over your skin, freshly washed, and he spread caresses without restraint. Every place the dragon's lips touched lit up with fire and his hips grinding against you weren't doing much for the blush on your cheeks. Inevitably you began to sigh from so many stimuli, right at the level of his ear, which only motivated him to continue.
As best he could he pulled the laces on the back of your dress and it didn't take long to get rid of the restraints. He slid one of your sleeves over your shoulder to begin kissing that section, the same way he had done with your neck. An indiscreet moan escaped you as your husband bit into your soft flesh and you could feel him smile against your skin.
โYou're mine, right?โ he sighed brokenly. You had tilted your head back to give him more space and he took the opportunity to lower the entire torso of your dress. โOnly mineโฆโ
With the same devotion he took care of your breasts and you couldn't do anything but continue alternating between sighs and some muffled moans. You could feel how he longed for you, eager to be able to kiss every inch of your skin even if it took him the entire night. Suddenly your body had become a temple, an object worthy of worship. The prince continued to distribute kisses that each time descended towards your belly, until with one hand he violently threw everything that was on the table and you ended up lying completely on it. Then he walked away.
You were about to ask what had happened when he took care of taking off your ballerina flats and throwing them somewhere far away in the room, only to stretch your leg up to the height of his torso to start kissing it. No one, not even him, had ever done that to you, so it was natural for you to be dismayed. His kisses moved quickly up your thigh and once he did that, he dropped to his knees in front of you. The skirt of your dress blocked your view and when you tried to get up something made you scream. Aegon had bitten into the tender flesh of your thighs, quite close to your crotch and with more force than he had hit your shoulder. You could only imagine his face when he carefully licked the mark he had surely left on you, once again making your chest exhale a moan.
What he did next and the sensation it caused, you could never have even imagined. That mouth, which most of the time was used for ironic puns and sloppy kisses, was now taking expert care of all of your pussy. Aegon was devouring you completely, touching just where it was necessary to make you squirm on the table. He wasn't careful at all; it was a touch hungry and extremely dirty.
You wanted to hold on as much as you could to keep yourself attached to reality, but it was difficult with your husband eating you like that. One of his arms wrapped around your leg and placed it over his shoulder, probably to give him better access. You had never moaned like that in his presence and it only made him harder and harder beneath the tight fabric of his breeches.
The pleasure was barely getting to your head when he stopped and a dissatisfied grunt escaped you shamelessly. Aegon laughed unabashedly at this, pleased at the control he had gained over you, and then went up again to kiss you hungrily. You couldn't do anything but welcome his salty lips and you moaned against him as he leaned against your body and you could feel his crotch, not knowing if it was your own wetness or his that was present.
He held you from behind and, without stopping kissing you, carried you until he placed you on the bed. You considered it somewhat unfair that your husband already had you trembling beneath him and still hadn't taken off a single piece of clothing, but your complaints were silenced when he hurriedly pulled his shirt over his head and took off his breeches in record time. In the same way, he pulled your dress towards your legs so that a second later it ended up on the floor, along with everything else.
He knelt down on the mattress and spread your legs roughly, lining himself up with your entrance. He began to rub the tip of his member up and down your already wet center and that did nothing but drive you crazy again.
When a delicate, pleading, ยซpleaseยป escaped your swollen lips, Aegon knew it was more stimulating to have you begging for him than to worry about only satisfying himself.
He played with you for a while longer, smiling from ear to ear at the sight of his delicate, pretty wife vibrating from having him close, until he finally plunged into you. For the first time there was enough wetness in you that the stroke felt satisfying rather than painful and both of you let out a delicious moan.
He set the pace, slow at first, but after a while his movements became more desperate. He wanted to get to the core of you, he wanted to fill you completely so you knew that only he could make you feel that way. When his body began to ache he leaned towards you, resting each of his arms on the side of your head and looking directly at you. You had stopped looking away from him, now you were looking at him with your mouth open with pleasure, your eyes watery and your pupils dilated on your completely flushed cheeks.
โAegon,โ you sobbed pathetically, clouded by everything you were experiencing and proving that it wasn't long before you reached your orgasm.
You had never called him by his name. You always referred to him as ยซyour graceยป, ยซprinceยป or ยซhusbandยป, at best. So hearing his name come out of your lips like that, under those circumstances, was too much for him to bear.
Knowing that he couldn't last much longer, one of his hands moved down to rest his thumb on your clit and once there he began to make erratic circles. You closed your eyes, completely seized by pleasure and a couple more thrusts were enough to make you lose the battle. Hearing your whimpers, combined with the way your walls squeezed him, was enough to make him cum too. With trembling legs you felt the warm liquid filling you and, for the first time, it was comforting.
When Aegon plopped down next to you, you immediately missed his body warmth. Both of you were breathing heavily, trying to catch the breath that the orgasm had taken from you. You could clearly feel your heartbeat bouncing off your bare chest and the stinging sensation coming from your crotch and running through your entire body was something you could get used to. Your hair had stuck to your face from the sweat and not to mention your lips, which you felt were burning from your husband's attention.
Aegon had already had many orgasms in his life so this time he decided to turn his gaze a little to see you enjoying yours. The mere idea that he was responsible for your condition made him completely shake.
โYou look beautiful,โ he blurted out suddenly. You thought he had heard wrong because of the rush, but from the way he was smiling at you, you highly doubted it. โJust like thatโ
โLike what?โ
โFreshly fucked. Well fuckedโ he corrected himself.
A laugh bubbled up from within you and you blushed even more, if that was possible, perhaps from the nerves and elation of what had just happened. The man stood up a little from his seat and leaned down to kiss you, although this time he did it with a calm and affection that you never thought you would see in him. It was just that he couldn't deny it anymore; from that moment on he would become an open book for you, where you could see all his feelings, desires and fears.
โI don't know why you're doing this,โ you suddenly murmured and Aegon pulled away enough to look at you โAnd I don't know why you've been acting like this these past few months. But I like it. I think it's a good time for you to know."
โYou said I could choose who I am,โ he said meekly. One of his hands grabbed your chin and stole another fleeting kiss from you. โI haven't forgotten, every word is present in my head. It's just... sometimes it's hard. And I thought I would have a better chance with you, even with the things I did to you when we got marriedโ
You smiled at him and were happy to know that the change in his behavior was because of the talk you once had with him. If he continued like this, ignoring the demons inside him and trying to be better, then your marriage had a chance to become more than just a condemnation.
Driven by the pleasant feeling growing in your chest you reached out towards him to reward him with a kiss. The man's breath hitched when you pushed him to the side and reversed roles, now you being the one pampering him while he was lying down. There was a playful glint in your husband's eyes as you looked at him.
โDo you know this is the first time you kissed me?โ he exhaled softly.
You couldn't believe that was possible and for a few seconds you tried to remember so you could contradict him. But every time you remembered you realized that it was always him who initiated the contact to which you only responded, so, effectively, it was the first kiss you gave him out of conviction.
Maybe it was an omen that something good was coming.
Still happy with how everything had turned out, you snuggled into his side, your head resting on his chest while he hugged you and threw a sheet over your bodies. You planted a hand on his bare skin and began drumming your fingers, alternating with small circles made with the greatest delicacy.
You were silent for a long time, you even thought that your husband had fallen asleep until you heard him speak again:
โIt's also the first time I'm doing this.โ
โAre you talking about sex, your grace?โ
โNo, I'm talking about cuddling,โ he confessed softly, his hand caressing your back the same way you did with him, โAnd don't call me your majesty anymore. I am Aegon. Or my prince, at any rate. But my is importantโ
With the affection worthy of a wife, you raised your head to place a kiss on his cheek and assured him that from now on you would call him that in the privacy of your chambers.
Suddenly, after another moment of silence, Aegon pulled you close to him as if afraid you were going to suddenly evaporate. Intending to calm his fears, you climbed until you were on top of his body, hiding your head in his neck so that the distance became minimal.
There was silence for another couple of minutes.
โDo you think I can ever be forgiven?โ
Apparently the atmosphere of the moment had managed to soften the boy's heart.
โWe can all be absolved, Aegon.โ
"And you?"
"Me what?"
โDo you think you can ever love me?โ you were quiet for a second, thinking about your response. Then, he added โOr could you at least try? It would be a nice detail for me. No one has ever done it before.โ
Not wanting to ruin the mood with a false word you decided to kiss his neck gently and that was enough of an answer for him. He would have to trust in your goodwill and that he could continue to restrain his impulses to keep this newly discovered gem that was his wife. With some luck you could even be that person he prayed for so much all his life, one with whom he could feel safe.
The slowing of the man's breathing revealed to you that he had already fallen asleep and you discovered that it seemed not so bad to find yourself in that position, sheltered by your lover's arms.
Under that scenario, the idea of eventually loving Prince Aegon Targaryen no longer sounded so far-fetched.