DO YOU KNOW A SONG ABOUT VELOCIRAPTORS?

adult. thing lover / theory nerd / falls down hills / gets lost your friendly neighbourhood nudibranch-mimicking amphipod

[ohthecalamity]

If you have a pillowfort I do too (ohthecalamity)

[o-craven-canto]

Alternate timeline in which all Greek and Latin roots are swapped:

catastrophe -> contraverse cephalopod -> capitoped chlorophyll -> viridofolia democracy -> populimpery homicide -> anthropoctony homosexual -> equigamic kilometer -> millimensure interregnum -> mesarchy magnanimous -> megapsychic manuscript -> chirography motorcycle -> ergatorote microscope -> parvovisor oxygen -> acidofex polyamory -> multierasty television -> remotoscope universe -> monostrophe

[everoutoftouch]

If you have Spotify reblog this and tag what your number one song on your “on repeat” playlist is.

[things-from-strings]

🕸BEHOLD MY BOY!!!🕸

after who knows how many months of puzzling out the geometry, running out of the right colors, & feeling like i'd NEVER be done making flower motifs, HERE HE IS!! in all his orange glory!!

the cutest, sweetest, most huggable spider in the WORLD!!! ✨️💖🕷💖✨️

his name is Arson 🔥🥰🔥

[ohthecalamity]

I stumbled across the concept of muppet big three yesterday, and after laughing so hard I almost straight-up died (thanks bronchitis) i did a lot of very deep and serious introspection. (also I watched quiiite a few episodes of the muppets, but that is neither here nor there).

What is a big three? Essentially, by my shallow understanding, they are three aspects of your selfhood that when taken together make you who you are. The three are Sun, Moon, and Rising. They're usually used to say 'taurus sun', etc, but can easily be cast as muppets instead. And I believe, through these three fabulous ping-pong eyed creatures, I have distilled myself into my purest possible [skeksis voice] eessssennncce

In astrology, your Sun sign describes your core identity, ego, motivations, and fundamental personality traits.

This one is obvious. it's the pink bossman from Girl From Ipanema. big, goofy, undulating in the background, just kinda doing its own thing, completely fails to notice someone's into them because it's too busy looking at the sea instead. I have never identified so fully with anything.

Your Moon describes your emotional side, your inner world, and your intuition...It’s the side of yourself that you don’t show to just anyone.

Now moon is much harder, mostly because I know fuck-all about astrology so am doing all of this based on vibes. I am however going to pretend I know what I'm talking about and confidently assert: Dr Teeth!He's colourful, jovial, friendly and free. He throws his whole body into music. He has a tight-knit community his world revolves around. Also leaves like him so much they'll bury him alive and I relate to that hard

Your Rising sign determines the first impressions you make, the way others see you, and your attitude.

Bill the Bubble Guy. A little bit anxious, perpetually confused, trying to help people out despite this, and can blow bubbles out of his head. I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. also I'm like, exceptionally good at blowing bubbles for whatever reason (a truly ludicrous amount of practice)

I'm bored as all hell and want to see people talk about muppets. hello friends! what's your muppet big three?

@shrub-a-dub @ollyoxygenfree @recoveredviolinist @jaxofspades6

[fanficmemes]

Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

[mikkeneko]

i know fandom history that even I don’t care about

[antlershade]

well, i know about lump fish

[cyber-seagull404]

Good to see we’re all on the same page

[callisteios]

please join me for a session of gentle weeping in celebration of the beauty of our shared world

[byjove]

this cavefish has a concept of the passage of time that no other living animal could fathom

[bluttto]

“Everyone has the same 24h” yeah right buddy say that to cavefish

[bogleech]

I know it's unfair vilification and stuff but it's also a lot of fun to see old media and stuff where people were SO scared of big animals like lions, sharks, crocodiles and wolves were fully expected to just come and eat you the moment you stepped into their territory. In older media we also made that assumption about gorillas and in still older we thought it'd be whales. But some animals that will actually fuck you up got left behind. Boars will kill you and eat you. They're way more likely to do so than any of those other things actually. Hippos, obviously, got off like bandits always being depicted as cute and dopey. And then there's the squids. Not giant kraken size squids. The eight foot squids that hunt in packs and will fuck you up if you fall in the water at night. I can't BELIEVE people slept on that. It's like all they cared about were the huge deep sea ones we never see. The medium size wolf pack squids were right there.

[bogleech]

Oh some of you don't know about the squids. I talked about them in another thread that went kinda viral somewhere or other but one of the reasons you should not swim in the open ocean at night in many parts of the world is that the water starts teeming with these:

And as you can see it is not like instant death, they too are just animals and they are often just gently curious about the presence of humans! But people who study and dive with sharks will tell you you're safe as long as you stay calm and know what you're doing. The world's leading professional night divers and experts on these squids, specifically??? Stress in every interview and article and paper they write in that you simply do not fuck around with these squids. They know what they're doing and they still all have at least one story of being attacked, in some cases having to be hospitalized. Considering just how rarely anybody puts themselves in the pitch dark nighttime ocean on purpose, let alone during a squid feeding frenzy, it sounds like they're quite a bit more likely to consider you potential food than other marine predators. We also don't know how many fatal attacks might have ever happened, because what humboldt squid like to do with large prey is just drag it away into the darkness forever. The two worst attacks ever proven involved two or three squid at a time latching on to a diver (in BOTH cases they were professionals and knew the risk!) and jetting straight downward with enough force that both divers suffered injury from the sudden pressure change alone, including burst eardrums, nearly passed out and they probably would have died if they hadn't broken free. In general, people who die drowning in the dark open ocean are either never found, or they're found in pieces picked over by enough scavengers that the precise cause of death can only be narrowed down to "the sea." But now you know ONE of "the sea's" possible murder weapons :)

There's a short section on Humboldt squid in Wikipedia's entry for Cephalopod attacks on humans:

Cephalopod attack - Wikipedia

And if you can get past some of Animal Planet's hokey presentation style, this video includes a bit of interview with one of those professional experts who still got nearly squidded from existence:

There is of course some debate about all this, with some arguing that all proven documented attacks occurred on people with reflective diving equipment, which they say the squid must have mistaken for the shine of fish. However, there are lots and lots of people who have to fish around these squids to survive, who do not have access to that kind of equipment, and also have a consensus that if you fall in the water when big squids are out hunting you might disappear without a trace or perhaps just get your head bitten open. With many modern science guys agreeing with this sentiment, this is one case where the "they're just misunderstood sea friends" crowd is kind of outnumbered. The sea at night is theirs and not ours is all. It's not ours during the day either but since we are neither marine nor nocturnal animals we are double fools in the eyes of the squids, which by the way are these eyes:

No for real:

[my-ants-are-anxious]

Absolutely! Also, the Humboldt squid will hunt in packs, sometimes with one flashing brightly to draw attention while the others approach in near unseeable camoflage!

[bogleech]

Beautiful footage of the nefarious sea demons also :)

Also because I can't reblog every addition together:

Okay where's the other 1199

[spiralshellsreblogs]

I absolutely adore Humboldt squid. I saw a doc once where a scientist was cage diving to study them, and one of the squid squeezed it's entire massive body through the cage bars, bit the guy and squeezed right back out.

[bogleech]

Why isnt this an animal that's already long gone viral like honey badgers once did. This is the animal that actually gives no fucks. People really are just that obsessed with bigger squids I guess? But the bigger ones frankly come across as big softies in comparison. One big sea monster can never be as intimidating as a thousand coordinated man sized sea monsters.

This is why I thought that if mermaids had a cultural equivalent to lycanthropy it'd be weresquids. Fun fact nocturnal marine life increases activity on the brightest nights ie the full moon.

[lasrina]

This is all fascinating but I'm reblogging it exclusively for the phrase "got nearly squidded from existence."

[rexuality]

hikes are very good yes but a deluxe hike is when you are a accompanied by a freak with niche nature knowledge. they’re like omg stop there’s a horned valerian varmint beetle here and then you both get to crouch down and look at a bug like :)

[karvina]

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

[karvina]

not really sure how to get her out though

[karvina]

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

a lot of people don’t tell you this when you’re starting to remodel your own home but occasionally under the floorboards you’ll find the entrance to an unimaginably sprawling and vast complex of underground lakes connected to each other through intricate networks of tunnels where suburbanite mermaids have set up mermaid strip malls with mermaid verizon, mermaid driving school, the mermaid liquor store, and so on. and many people will think this is a plumbing issue, but it’s actually a zoning problem

[plaguedocboi]

I feel like starfish are one of those animals that are treated as very “normal” by people but absolutely shouldn’t be. Like they’re a wheel of repeating heads connected by a central stomach. They walk around using thousands of tiny sticky hydraulically powered tentacles. They have an eye on the end of each arm. Instead of having a mouth they just have an opening where their entire stomach can be pushed out to engulf prey. And they’re just allowed to exist like this. It’s not illegal or anything.

[maitsuwu]

can you put that thing on a fucking leash *pointing angrily at a butterfly with beautiful iridescent wings thats not flying anywhere near you*

[ollyoxygenfree]

Checking in on how badly my sick friend is doing based on how many tumblr posts they make per day

[ohthecalamity]

HEYYYYYYYYYY

[sleepy-bebby]

Camera falls from a plane and lands in a pig pen.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Of course a pig immediately tries to eat it

[eclecticopposition]

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

[ohthecalamity]

@recoveredviolinist you could take this whole competition. everyone in the notes? ha. medications, questionable purchases, three ingredients mixed at a sleepover. absolute amateurs. i beseech thee, knock them to the floor with the blood-drenched morning star that is perpetual drink