✦ Alexit ✦

✦ She/Her | 32 | Autistic | Pan | INTP | 3D Artist | I make things move ✦ ☾ @xkitletx | @planef00d ☽

[finnslay]

My entire childhood: Don't use that tone with me!/Don't talk to me like that!/Why do you have such an attitude?

Me, who didn't know about autism: What?

[ohyeahtism]

Sometimes I'm shook at how my mom never noticed I was autistic.

*

I was (still am) unable to tolerate bright lights, overhead lights and sunlight. Got nauseated.

*Asks for black out shades*

Mom: OMG You're a vampire!

(㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)

*

[ohyeahtism]

I love my special interests. I love them as much as special people in my life.

This hasn't always been the case.

All my life people have had a problem with me having special interests. It bothered them. Independently of what it was, the fact that I had them caused people distress. I was screamed at, diminshed, insulted, physically assaulted because of it; still as an adult.

I was in awe that I made people react that way. I felt guilty. So I tried to hide my interests and many times avoid them myself, which made me feel miserable.

*

My diagnosis changed this. I felt free and truly happy for the first time. I cut ties with people that had a problem with who I am. I started to heal.

Having special interests makes us who we are and I honestly think it's really awesome.

[snail-is-wired]

growing up neurodivergent is just.

"why are you doing that. its weird"

"the way you laugh is weird."

"the way you dress is weird"

"why does your face look like that?"

"why aren't you happy with my gift"

"why don't you talk more"

"why do you talk so much"

"you're annoying"

and then as an adult:

"why are you always worried about what people think of you?"

[lemontheifx]

Did all autistic women who were undiagnosed as children have report cards that said "quiet until you get to know her"

[espiral-cosmica-deactivated2025]

this is sad...

[ohyeahtism]

[ohyeahtism]

Being autistic is disabling.

It is *hard* to set guidelines for myself while being an artist. I work wonders when given a brief, but I cannot, for the love of god, work on personal projects without going through every emotion and doubting everything I do.

4 out of 5 times I will abandon the project.

[geekinator]

Reasons I like subtitles:

1. I can see how people’s names and the cities and the countries are spelled.

2. I don’t miss any words, so everything they say makes sense.

3. I get to know what background noises and conversations are.

4. The descriptions of the noises people make are freaking awesome. Ex: splutter, grunt, chuckles.

5. I can see who says what.

6. I don’t have to have the volume super loud so I can hear the dialogue, and I don’t blow my eardrums out because the ambient noises and music is SO FREAKING LOUD.

I freaking love subtitles.

[hidefdoritos]

"a joy to have in class" aka This Child Will Not Be Diagnosed for at least Eight Years

[autistic-af]

"Why are safe foods so often junk food or prepackaged foods?"

Because of consistency. Raw foods or freshly made foods run the risk of being off: undercooked, overcooked, mushy, too crunchy etc.

That box of chicken nuggets hasn't changed in two decades.

Just ask any autistic how they feel if the company suddenly changes the ingredients.

It's safe because it's not going to surprise us as much as raw foods.

[flamboyantinsomniac]

Weighted blankets aren't enough I need to be crushed in a hydraulic press

[adhdxxsdiary]

[ohyeahtism]

Chronicles of a morning after a social outing with friends as an autistic person:

Wake up and go over everything I did and said, start remembering and reinterpreting friends faces and expressions. Was I too awkward? Did I speak too much? Did I say something inappropriate? OH NO. Maybe I fucked up? I start doubting myself. Maybe I did something I don't remember. Wait. MAYBE I DID SOMETHING I DON'T REMEMBER.

Let's try not to think about it; Let's play some videogames! Hyper-focused for a couple of hours. Intrusive anxious thoughts come back. No please no. Now I'm on the verge of a meltdown because anxiety interrupted what I was doing to avoid being anxious in the first place. GREAT.

I'm having all sorts of feelings. Can't identify. I get frustrated, that I know. Having the urge to go to another room. I pace and pace. Not working. I need to find a nice dark secluded space. Under the bed? Let's go inside the bathroom and sit on the floor. Close the door and try to regulate. Stim like my life depends on it. It actually depends on it.

I ride it out until I feel capable again to think things through and calm myself down. I try to reason with myself. It's been 4 hours.

I'm not going out again. Burnout follows.

.

I love being autistic. It also takes a heavy toll sometimes.

[themaskedlady]

[themaskedlady]

[themaskedlady]