skag, what.

[oi-skag]

Heathcliff 🎵 it’s me! I’m Piggy! 🎵

[meladoodle]

me: “hey can you pretend this banana I found outside is a gun?” Gus: “it is a gun” me: “shit you’re a good actor”

[meladoodle]

I got another photo with Giancarlo Esposito and the conversation went like this

me: hey 10 years ago I got a photo of you pretending a banana was a gun, do you remember me?

Giancarlo: of course I remember you

me: shit you’re a good actor

[pixeljade]

Just to keep everyone here aware:

Shit's going down in Los Angeles area.

What happened is that there was already protests against the ICE detention facilities, and ICE made the brilliant move of kidnapping the leader of the Service Employees International Union (SEIU). Protestors started pushing their non-violent actions, with ZERO weaponry, and ICE has begun firing teargas and rubber bullets (which can be fatal). Tonight they are bringing in the NATIONAL GUARD.

Meanwhile, they're stepping up kidnappings and "deportations"--If you dont have your papers and you live in southern california I'd avoid leaving your house. If you're a citizen, keep your papers on you as you leave.

And if you're one of the brave people fighting this gestapo, PLEASE DO SO SAFELY!!! Dont use milk to rinse out teargas or pepper spray, it can cause infections with the bacteria in it!!!! Use water!!!! Tell someone where you're going, but leave your phone at home unless you're there to document. If you are there to document, DONT SHARE PROTESTORS FACES OR IDENTIFYING FEATURES on social media!!!! And for fucks sake, WRITE A LAWYER PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR BODY WITH SHARPIE, trust me, it could save your ass.

[squeakitties]

driving myself to hysterics thinking abt what donald duck being waterboarded would sound like

[trans]

that one unemployed friend at 2 am

[toruandmidori]

[cryptotheism]

I have become a regular at the local cafe. I sit at the lunch counter with my laptop to write. The workers keep me updated on all the tea.

Barista: Oh god here he comes.

Me: who?

Barista: White Ferrari guy. Hes banned from the other cafe. All he ever does is tell the same stories about the pyramids. Or ghosts. Or his car. Don't make eye contact with him. If he talks to you he won't leave you alone- Hi hello welcome!

[cryptotheism]

I almost immediately accidentally made eye contact with him. He practically beelined to the chair next to me, and stares at my notebook. The vibe is immediately strange. I understand why he was banned from the other cafe.

White Ferrari Guy: What're you writing?

Me: (fuck it) I'm developing a script!

WFG: A what?

Me: A script. I'm developing an alternate script for the international phonetic alphabet. My goal is to make it one grapheme represent a single syllable, rather than one grapheme per phoneme. I'm happy with the consonants, but the vowels still need work. I'm experimenting with kerning based on Georgian script-

I look up, he is staring past me completely dead-eyed. He could not be less interested in what I'm saying. He leaves about a minute later.

[cryptotheism]

[sheathes this notebook like a katana] your autism is weak, old man.

[animatedtext]

[kalimaxxing]

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

[kalimaxxing]

not again

[maculategiraffe]

nasa: we're going to shoot three rockets directly at the sun during the total eclipse. for study and research purposes.

me: oh cool

nasa: we have named the rockets apep. this stands for atmospheric perturbations [in the] eclipse path.

me: oh cool

nasa: apep is also the ancient egyptian deity of chaos and darkness, who ceaselessly seeks to extinguish the sun. we launch these rockets directly at the sun in the name of apep.

me: oh... cool?

[memeuplift]

[persistent-wallflower]

[femalepope]

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

[caracalliope]

Moreover, everyone gathers around to be tremulously compassionate and discreetly admiring: all this time, you lacked the Vitamin? And yet you persevered?

[greelin]

sometimes angels are real. And they are in the form of the people letting you merge from the ramp onto the highway

[greelin]

when they slow down and do that little hand gesture.. i feel like a wounded animal being rescued from a barbed wire fence. my life is in your hands and you have shown me such kindness. we’re soul bonded now ms. kia sorento

[pitbolshevik]

my mom had a nightmare years ago that george costanza tried to kill her and sometimes when we're watching seinfeld and george starts yelling about something she'll be like "that's what he sounded like when he tried to kill me"

[catchymemes]

[sunshine-tattoo]

Also: "have you considered losing weight?"

[embodimentofateabag]

Hot people watched Class of the Titans as a kid, based their personality off of Atlanta, and cried when it wasn’t renewed for Season 3

[aflo]

i hate when somebody posts some shit on here like "it's gay as fuck for a man to eat breakfast" because then im like well shit now i gotta start eating breakfast or i won't be gay anymore