TAROT READING//Ming's take on mingkey relationship
Date: 15/Jan/2023
Marker: Selca, Incense
Deck of Cards: Trungles' Star Spinner Tarot (Inclusive, Diverse, LGBTQ Theme)
I don't ask my cards questions that I already have answers;
I don't prey on information I should not know;
I respect their personal lives and;
ʕ•̫͡• ʔ stream Minho's Stay For A Night because Ming is a good boy who deserves love, and the song matches the reading energy -ㅂ-
Base Card: 9 of Wands Reverse
Past: 7 of Swords
Now: The World Reverse
Future: The Lovers (I want to stress that I have 4 lovers cards in the deck, each representing different sexual orientations/relationship styles/dynamics, and getting this specific card is a 1/81 ratio instead of 1/78)
Past to Now: 5 of Coins Reverse
Now to Future: 5 of Cups Reverse
Result Card: //
Please take time looking at the cards before proceeding to read the readings, thanks.
Before I dive in-depth into discussing the readings and meanings of each card, I want to share the incentive energy I grasp here: honesty. My cards are very honest in delivering information this time, for one, but I also sense that Ming is very honest (to himself) in approaching matters with Bummie now. He is able to better communicate his needs, discuss his concerns, and very importantly, reflect on his mistakes (!) & becoming ready to be a better boy for kibum. This does not mean their bickering nature changes immediately. Rather, as we see in the Live Alone episodes, Ming could now consult ways that fuel their dynamic without hurting bummie or himself. These joyful fights drag Bummie closer instead of pushing him away, and hurting Kibum is what Mings regrets the most in their relationship.
7 of Swords in the Past position matches my reading. In the plain sense, this card means betray. Ming had failed bummie in the past times. What he had believed (the swords he held in his arms), e.g., hetnormative thinkings, helped him accepting his new image, adjusting to work in the industry, and bonding with other SHINee members (and other workers), but it had turned away bummie (the sword behind him). Ming was an insecure boy struggled under the shadow of his father (a soccer couch who naturally prioritizes competitiveness, results, and seniority rules) and an older brother minseok who was better at everything than him at the time. That's why Minho desperately believed he must overcome any challenges to prove his worth. Minho weaponized this mindset, so stubborn even if the blaze hurt people around him. I mean, he is never someone aggressive, but he fought with bummie as if he was not mad at kibum but himself. Mad at the idea of not being the strong man he promised himself to be. He did not realize what protected him is the cloak (people around him, family, friends, SHINee members), not the sword (his will power) ...The distance between him and bummie made Ming lonely. His heart is the crescent hanging on the night sky that longing for love and connection.
To assess the Present, we will be taking about three cards:
the base card -> Ming's attitude in this relationship,
the now -> Ming's understanding of this relationship,
the event -> what changed that made him to act/think like this.
In one sentence summary, Ming does not feel content of how their relationship functions and he is heartbroken because he sometimes feels one-sided putting most effort. Kibum can be cold and out of reach, as Ming experienced during the military times, and as I joked with my friend when I was doing the cards-pulling, Ming sometimes sees himself as a "clown". He addresses it to bummie but has no confidence in changing their relationship (and changing bummie's attitude) to what he desires: a more honest, heart to heart, same-level love energy dynamic. This is not the "world" or reality Ming wants and he is trying his maximum BEST to alter. However, there is an fundamental unbalance between his and bummie's view of how they should interact, and if you read my readings of bummie's view on the other post later, you will understand it is both out of insecurities.
For Ming, the insecurities come from the pain of losing a great great friend. We have a reversed 5 of coins, the dream of 5HINee achieving success together was shattered like the broken mirror - and one coin, our dear jjong, stays in this never coming true dream forever. My cards are very honest, as I said earlier, and my heart ached when this card came to me. Jjong's death changed Ming tremendously. In ways he now views friendship, relationship, and any intimate interaction. Do you notice how Ming takes photo of everything and every moment he shares with close friends? He maxed out his phone storage on bummie, as if the grieving taught him pictures and videos are the only things he can go to when he lost loved ones. He is afraid of idea of losing bummie (and of course other SHINee members), because after jjong, ming finally realized he is just a little boy hiding under the cloak. Hiding under the protection of his hyung. He was never strong enough to protect himself and what he loves - and this is why, he dedicated himself to work out the “problems" in his relationship w kibum.
To hold bummie closer is to put his shattered reality back in place.
Even if it means the cold treatment and left on read messages.
!!skip this part if you only see them as platonic friends/co-workers and resume when you see exclamation mark again!!
I usually don't do romantic readings on RPS. But the lovers dropped and as I said earlier, getting the "man & man" lovers card is a 1/81 ratio that I think my cards is trying to tell me something. We gotta give major Arcana some respect. And obviously, it gets more evident *spoilers alert* when the SAME lovers card dropped in bummie's result.
I want to keep this section short because it preys on their private life, and assuming anything can be disrespectful. However, considering Ming has posted both rainbow flags and the the notting hill bookshop LGBTQ+ themed books...I will share what I have read on the cards. A lot of tensions between ming and bummies still come from their different opinion of intimate relationship. Bummie has not fully forgive ming because in a small corner of ming's mind, he still holds on some of the hetnormative thinkings. He does not realize that there is an option of love. Or more frankly, he does not realize what he wants (the level of love) from bummie is what bummie only gives to his romantic LOVERS. And only when ming stops "overcoming" the idea of man to man love unnatural (as to support bummie), but truly accepting it (as himself doing it) can make the world right for him and bummie.
The lovers card in the future is a beautiful and mind-assuring result, because before that ming still has a long way to go. We have the reversed 5 of cups here, stressing how the past events left scars on ming to a breaking point. He is/will be overwhelmed with pain, sadness, and the feeling of helplessness when trying to forge deeper bonds with bummie. The refusal hurt him enough that he almost give up. But give up is not really Minho isn't it? And bummie is sensitive. When bummie finally comes around, forgives ming, and accepts that he no longer can avoids ming's sincere heart, things will be good for them. Things will be great. They will have each other's back and heal together from the past memories, and from losing jjong. The moon is full now.
The only thing ming needs to know is (since my cards are shouting this to me!!), he has to stop project the grief of losing jjong onto bummie. Bummie wants ming to love him, not as the grieving-i need to grab someone way, but really just sees and loves bummie as himself.
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