WELL.

Avatar by avaamythest. Jared, he/him, tired writer of time travel AUs. I still play skyrim but at least I'm ashamed of it AO3, pizza bard tag, writing tag, Whither Then (fic) tag

[averyterrible]

TRIP REPORT. Dosage: .25L hot chocolate, 15g marshmallows. t-5m: began heating water, feeling anticipation. t2m: extremely cozy throughout whole body.

[narcissistcookbook]

uh oh

[fondesmode]

I think flinching is such a hit or miss reflex. Like yea a tiny bit of boiling water touched my hand but i dont think reflexivly throwing the water everywhere is a good defensive measure perhaps. might be even worse actually

[echotunes]

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

[fuck-philip-banks]

[herssian]

i believe in you and your artistic abilities, prowess, vision, and execution. so please do me the same honor and believe me, in turn, that i did not in any way eat your artwork the moment you posted it

[randomalistic]

Your artstyle is like your gut microbiome in the way its everything you consume and like and it also has all your bacteria up in it. Thats probably how that works

[avidcollectorofdust]

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

[pierogiy]

Caught Up On My Stories BTW. Handling It

[emhidesart]

Rocky meets some animals from earth 🌍🌻

[amazoogle]

picked up some treated lumber. treated how? with kindness and grace i would hope

[headspace-hotel]

Me: *seeing a doctor* Did the test come back positive?

Doctor: *has a doctorate in English Lit* I’m sorry, it’s a little more challenging than we thought. We analyzed your imagery, and it appears that you symbolize the fleeting nature of the American dream

Me: oh god

[animentality]

[mikkeneko]

[Image ID: Two photographs of the same tabby domestic shorthair cat. The photo on the left has the cat with a neutral expression, whiskers and ears relaxed, eyes about a quarter closed and pupils narrow. Photo on the right has the cat with ears perked, whiskers pushed forward, eyes wide open and pupils round and enlarged. Caption reads, "The one weird thing about cats is that 'murder mode' isn't the first photo, but the second one."

Followed by: Social media reply by Rachel S @(LooksStupidTho) "Haha, I can always tell people that have no cat experience when they look at a cat like the first pic and say 'He's plotting world domination' or something trite. He's just chilling. Pic 2 is the 'Top shelf is about to be cleared of all your fragile collectibles' kind of look." End ID.]

[savrenim]

......suddenly struck by the idea for a piece of worldbuilding of "fae don't like iron bc it is the most stable element*"

*as in elements higher you can extract energy via fission and lower you can extract energy via fusion but iron itself there is no excess binding energy to extract at all

[savrenim]

YOU. YOU SEE MY VISION.

[ospreyonthemoon]

People: exposure to the fae realms makes you weak and sickly. Because of the fae

The fae: wow wow wow i LOVE uranium!!!! We should put it ALLLL over our land!!! This won't cause problems!

[rabbitindisguise]

You can never leave after eating fae food because you get radiation poisoning and also you're now a walking biohazard

[orangejuice707]

The tinkerbell chernobyl post strikes

[figtreeandvine]

One of my aunts and I had a discussion--disagreement?--yesterday about the 4th of July, or rather what it's called. I've worked in vet clinics, so to me it will always be "Scare the Cat Day". She worked as a pediatric nurse, so for her it's "Losing Fingers Day".

We both agreed that it was really Week, not Day, so there is that.

[blankpointdankmemes]

[matt-ruins-your-shit]

[spaceshipoftheseus]

Look, this is my litmus test: I pretend I am the original Earl of Sandwich. I have asked for non-bread foods to be brought to me inside bread, that I might more easily consume them one-handed while gambling.

This does not enable my wretched regency habits. This is not what I asked for. I do not deign to grace it with the name of my house.

[dirkbolero]

This is the most important addition to the sandwich discourse I have ever read.

[zangoonse]

a party of adventurers that are all equally convinced that they are in completely different forms of media

[zangoonse]

the mage keeps giving smug glances in the direction they assume a camera is in. the fighter keeps getting indignant about missing attacks because of "bad dice rolls." the rogue is doubtful that a villain is gone for good because "nobody ever stays dead in comics." the paladin attributes fortune to "good rng." none of them have even considered that "tumblr post" was an option

[hestiagf]

good morning soft sad freaks on an unprofitable website