(inactive)Aerivaille

📖second Blog @Aerivaille 🐦twitter: @Aerivaille 🎮psn:Aerivaille

[oldaerivaille]

Hey everyone!

Yes it's been two years, I'm still alive. Actually doing a bit better with life too.

I feel like I owe you guys an explanation since there are so many of you, but life just happens.

I will try to be more active on here again.

I also took a quick look at my inbox and WOW YOU GUYS!

Thank you all for your kind messages even when I wasn't active. I am overwhelmed with the amount of them and I can happily say that I got better. I still have days where I just wanna stay in bed all day and that's fine.

Also posts like my previous ones will not continue, the old ones stay on my page just because I tink it still was a part of me and I think it's nice to see how I've managed and got better.

So thank you again and have a great day! ♡♡

[oldaerivaille]

Happy New Year 2020!

I hope you're all doing good and are healthy. How are you eveyone?

I'm back on here because I felt like I want to share my thoughts and feelings about how different the holidays went by.

I lost all joy about christmas and new years. There's no warm and fuzzy feeling anymore. There's no urge to spend time with family and friends. There's just emptiness.

I spent christmas away from home for the first time, but it wasn't any different. Christmas isn't special anymore. On New Years Eve I was home alone. I didn't even open the curtains to look at all the fireworks, I just watched Netflix. Where did all that magic go? Where are all those good feelings I had? They're just gone now.

On a whole other note,I don't even know what would make me feel overly happy and overwhelmed with joy.

But anyway,those are just my experiences I felt like sharing.

I wish you a wonderful day, make the best out of it ^_^

[oldaerivaille]

Update 2.5

so, I haven't been here in quite some time. Had a lot going on these last few months in my life. I learned to handle my depression a bit better, all thanks to my boyfriend. I mean I still am depressive at times but not as often as I used to be. I completely changed myself over these last 2 years and am now more confident and came out of my shell a bit. There have changed so many things in my life. I had to sell my loving horse due to changing occupation and thus don't having the time for him anymore. I paused writing and started gaming again wich is quite nice because I can escape from real life a little.

I removed all toxic people from my life and learned to speak my mind. Got more open too. I'm not afraid of strangers anymore.

hope you all have a nice day/night :*

[oldaerivaille]

trying my best to get through this life

[oldaerivaille]

Update 2.0

so i haven't been on tumblr for quite some time now, thing is, my mental health is still very much fucked up to the point where I don't even wanna see anybody but my boyfriend. My appetite is pretty much non existent and so is my motivation. I don't know if anyone is ever gonna read this because I feel like I'm the least interesting person there can be. I also noticed that I completely changed myself over the last 2 years. I pretty much became titled "asshole" because of it, since I tell everyone what I think without giving a shit because it's the truth. Anyways, I hope you all are doing good and aren't in too much stress.

I feel like I will be posting more on here soon, we'll see about that.

Have a nice day/night you beautiful person. :]

[oldaerivaille]

Update

Still depressive

Broke up friendship with my bff after 12 years

Got zero friends

Don't know what makes me happy

Barely any appetite

Barely hungry

Don't talk about my problems

Got a new job

[oldaerivaille]

If you wanna talk dm me on twitter @Aerivaille

[oldaerivaille]

when the speed makes you feel alive

[oldaerivaille]

[oldaerivaille]

why can't I just start all over. start from the beginning, a new life, a new me. a happy me.......

[mae0x]

distancing myself from everybody in my life is an essential part of my skincare routine

[mae0x]

mental illness update: still mentally ill

[oldaerivaille]

I know it's already over now, nothing left to lose..

[oldaerivaille]

I would not even care if someday I die in a car crash...... I would finally fly away in freedom....

[oldaerivaille]

[oldaerivaille]

You're really great, you know that right?

[oldaerivaille]

there comes the time when you'll fall apart again. the time your next panic attack sets in. the time you just can't keep putting all your pieces back together. the time you slowly fade away with a smile on your lips.