Seventeen as Things I’ve Heard the Kids I Babysit Say
PREFACE: I babysit for a set of twin boys that are six years old. They don’t know English that well so some of these are translated roughly. They have the most nihilistic sense of humor and it’s great and terrifying at the same time.
S.Coups: “I’m gonna name my first kid wardrobe! Then he’ll sound like a transformer!”
Jeonghan: “Kill me so I can be reborn into a into a caterpillar and sleep for a year.”
Joshua: “God loved me so much he had to make a photocopy.”
Jun: *Sprays brother with hose* “I hope that watermelon seed you ate starts growing and I get to have a tree brother.”
Hoshi: *Drops his popsicle and I offered to grab a new one* “Don’t ever get me a new one. Nothing in the world can make me happy.”
Wonwoo: “Someone called me emo today, I don’t know what that means, but I told them that calling someone names doesn’t get them any closer to their parents love.”
Woozi: “He can learn as much Japanese as he wants. Mom will still love me more.”
DK: *I made him put on pants* “I wish I was a girl so I didn’t have to wear these leg prisons!”
The8: *To the other brother* “I wish I absorbed you when we were in mom.” (This is what made me make this post)
Mingyu: “What does ‘abstinence’ mean?”
Seungkwan: “I think I’m the smartest in my class, these bitches think Santa is real.” *We had to have a talk*
Vernon: “I wanted my English name to be ‘dog,’ but my dad said no.”
Dino: *I asked one boy to stop eating the other’s food* “No, I’m going to grow stronger and defeat him.”
-peach
