The Scythe of Time has no power in this corner of the heart @omie-wise - Tumblr Blog

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

great-art-and-a-purple-tongue

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

scribeofchaos

Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.

Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.

somestorythoughts

Mulan and Mushu, somehow opperating on the same wavelength: oh haven't you heard?

Edit: WAIT I just realized, DOES SHE EXPLAIN THIS TO HER FAMILY??? You know they're gonna be shocked silent and then her grandma's gonna start laughing.

omie-wise

Pity the poor gal who keeps diving into the waters & emerging sans-tits, still be-testicled.

elodieunderglass

For whatever reasons, which are far beyond my ability to research or understand, the concept of “nonbinary” continually slides off the brain of my eldest child (Bear, 9) and they keep having to be reminded it of it. The word simply carries no associations or permanence, which is hilarious because two children they see fairly often are nonbinary and use they/them pronouns; Max, the uncle/aunt of their close friend, and Dorset, a child they go swimming with. Bear sees these kids at least once a week.

And then Bear regularly goes “WHATS NONBINARY”

And we’re like “LIKE 👏 DORSET 👏 BEAR. LOCK THE FUCK IN”

And every time Bear goes, USING THE RIGHT PRONOUNS, in a tone of receiving information they have never heard before, “THEYRE NONBINARY?”

ramblingandpie

This reminds me...

Many years ago, my oldest, R, now age 10, came home from a playdate and asked "who was the other lady at [friend]'s house?"

Well, buddy, that's his mom.

No, R insisted, because he knew [friend]'s mom.

Well, buddy, [friend] has two moms.

R's mind was blown. That's possible? A person can have two moms? Since when???

... well, buddy, at least since your own two moms decided to have kids. You. You also have two moms. Didn't realize it needed further explanation that other kids can also have two moms.

rettaroo

I have three partners who all cohabitate and we have a daughter together. I cannot tell you the number of times when she was little when she'd have the shocking revelation of "Wait, you LOVE Dad??" or "You and Mom are DATING??" Like yeah bud. We have all very obviously been together for most of your life and have been very upfront about that lmao "You and M are MARRIED?!?" Kid you were there! You watched the ceremony!!

elodieunderglass

SHRIEK this is EXACTLY what it’s LIKE

gilraina

Me playing The Thaumaturge: wow, there are so many subtle things in this game that would go right over someone's head if they're not familiar with the Polish culture

What someone might think I mean: the historical context of early 20th century Poland, the partitions, the uprisings...

What I actually mean: Wiktor calling himself "the ruiner of good fun and the vanquisher of children's smiles" is a reference to a Star Trek parody video

scoriarose

Theory on why Tofu hates Markiplier

If you are unfamiliar with Tofu, please read this post or watch this playlist about the snake who hates Markiplier. tl;dr- under the Markiplier gif.

From the videos you can see she tries to figure out what is upsetting Tofu, and found that it's not just streamers, or just his voice, or the stream. This specific snake

He does not like Markiplier specifically which is demonstrated by him squaring up with Mark, striking, and tail buzzing at him. He recognizes Mark specifically as a scary threat.

Animals have been shown to recognize human faces, and Tofu's reaction to Markiplier's face (and only his face as shown by the printout) is strong evidence that he recognizes Mark's face and differentiates him from other faces. With crows, they've been shown to hold grudges and have that grudge extend to other crows.

So Tofu has a negative association with Mark, and specifically Mark. The question is why? My theory is: perceived threat after a perceived dangerous situation. Some have theorized Tofu was mistreated by someone who looked like Mark- if they were while in his keeper's care she'd know. If it was his breeder, he'd more likely be afraid of all humans and need to first get over this negative perception (basing this on how Sakura reacted with massive trauma that took years for her to overcome, and to this day she's still jumpy. A breeder doesn't socialize their snakes so they'd only know humans to be abusive before being adopted, and his current keeper would very much notice that terrified trauma behavior to herself.)

One thing important to know about snakes is they are not only capable of learning from each other, but are protective of each other. I've seen this with my girls interacting with each other (yes snakes have friends and remember their family), learning from watching the other and copying her actions, as well as behavior I've observed on the Rattlecam with wild snakes. Adult snakes teach younger snakes, as well as are protective of them- even if they aren't their own babies. A female was shown on the rattlecam watching over a group of slitherlings that were obviously not her offspring as she was heavily pregnant. IIRC that same female ushered babies to safety after a hawk attack before worrying about her own safety. I've seen it in person as well with my girls, who have shielded each other from perceived danger, and scoria also squared up to something scary in the hall as though she were protecting me. And when it left she immediately went back to being relaxed and cuddly and happy. Snakes have friends that are snakes. It's an outdated belief snakes cannot bond with their keepers, as many do and seek them out for attention. These observations of snake behavior are part of what play into my theory basis.

So what could Mark himself have done? If you watch streamers you'll know Markiplier is known for playing jumpscare games with his FNAF let's plays being some of his most well known. Tofu's owner knows Markiplier, and is actively watching Markiplier with Tofu. More than likely she regularly watches Mark, has watched jumpscare videos, and had Tofu around while doing this.

It's a reasonable assumption. And if Tofu's keeper reacts to Mark's jump scare videos by flinching, looking frightened, or making frightened sounds, it's quite likely Tofu's sees Markiplier is involved every time... and blames Mark. Seeing his keeper get startled, Tofu doesn't understand it's a fun video or that humans enjoy being jumpscared (honestly I don't think I could explain it to him either) so he's learning from his human that Markiplier is a scary threat.

And from Tofu's point of view? He's right! Markiplier is a regular threat that not only (probably) scared his human, but regularly appears to stare him down and even went after him in his own home! And when his keeper scolds him? It's likely the same misunderstanding that dogs have when their owners yell at them to be quiet- they think the human has joined in! Clearly his keeper is joining him in being upset at Mark!

So in Tofu's mind? Mark is a diabolical threat to his family's safety that he must defend them against, and they are united with their keeper in their efforts to drive away that scary scary guy. You are very brave Tofu, and we are all very proud of you.

melgillman

Some fun news: I finally built a standalone webcomic site for my lesbian horror-romance graphic novel in progress, The Goblin Throne! Two out of three parts of this comic are already complete, and can be read in their entirety for free on the site. Part 3, the finale, is coming this summer!

If you've previously been following this comic as I've updated it in chunks across various social media platforms (here, instagram, bsky...), this is the first time you can read the whole dang thing in just one place!

What is this "Goblin Throne", you ask??

The Goblin Throne is a three-part queer horror fable, told from three different perspectives! It's a story about finding out your mom broke a secret, violent pact with the ancient queen of the goblins, and that pact now involves you; and it's a story about a young hotheaded woman getting in waaaay over her head after she strikes a bargain with a dangerous monster; AND it's a story about what you're capable of doing after having your heart unceremoniously broken, when you happen to be said dangerous monster...

I've been working on this comic for the past three years, and Part Three -- the longest part of the story yet by far -- will be released this summer, in conjunction with a Kickstarter for a print version of the whole book, published by Iron Circus Comics! Now's a great time to read through Parts One & Two, to get up to speed before the finale drops. It's my best, nastiest, and sexiest work to date, and it's gonna be a doozy :)

elodieunderglass

Must've been hard as hell in the day-to-day

elodieunderglass

Frodo: I just felt like I was really locked in … idk

Sam:

elodieunderglass

Getting notes on this post is like …. Girls you might be in burnout. Sorry I can’t help. 😘 though

deadgenerations

it's honestly pretty incredible how much influence on Cybperunk one black gun otaku weeaboo ended up having, to such a degree that much of his contribution to genre conventions is now so normal as to be invisible as contributions and not just natural to the genre. Say "thank you Mike Pondsmith, mechs and katana are cool"

scramratz

Why is it that sometimes artists lose all artistic ability for no reason. Why can’t I draw anymore WHO STOLE MY ART POWERS???

michaeljpatrick

You haven't actually lost your ability. You are probably suffering from stress and have lost the joy you usually get from your own work.

Another possibility is that you've reached a liminal spot in your abilities and the disparity between how you make art and how you wish to do so has become noticeable.

Both of these are normal and with rest and some joyful activity, not only do they go away, but they generally lead to a breakthrough.

personalgremlin

this makes me want to cry

aqueerkettleofish

First of all, “…they were surrounded on all sides by echoes and images of themselves, in a world where image and object had not yet torn themselves apart” is one of the most poetic phrasings I’ve ever heard.

Second, here’s the original source, “What the caves are trying to tell us” by Sam Kriss.

Third, the original opens with: “Every so often, I get the urge to drag someone into a cave, and show them something unspeakable.”

I had another point, but it got lost in the artful prose of this article.

dragon-in-a-fez

I feel like “every so often, I get the urge to drag someone into a cave and show them something unspeakable” is something that’s okay for a paleolithic cave art expert to say, but like, absolutely no one else

54625

flicking back through my procreate library what the fuck was this

pillowspace

Things to look for in this:

Fish

Eyes

Body

anxiousposting

CHEAT SHEET BELOW!

sparrowsarecool

I really, really liked this piece, so I made this:

using the original as a base and coloring on top of it. Took a lot longer than I thought it would.

reallyreallyreallytrying

made some bumper stickers 👍

thespacesay

ID: a bumper sticker with white text on a green background. HONK if you believe that cars, too, should be permitted to raise their voices in song. End ID

omie-wise

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Marius Valerius is a trained scholar warrior with the sharpest of senses, able to recognize any threat or route of attack (except for friendship). The Golden Cobra torments him for years, forcing social gatherings and an unwanted intimacy upon him until Marius realizes he actually likes that intimacy at which point he takes new vows.

melgillman

Here’s HSTHETE, the 24 hour comic I drew this year! Thanks to everybody who followed along on twitter this weekend as I posted these pages <3

PS: if you liked this, there’s a whole book of these comics available now!

melgillman

I’m reblogging this 7-year-old comic of mine because, not only is it somehow still circulating, it just passed 400,000 notes??? Thank you, several hundred thousand internet strangers, for keepin’ this ol’ goat girl goin’ so long

(Also hi, I’m still making fairy-tale-flavored lesbian romance comics and have a new one coming out very soon…)

lilmiaowkittie

theheadlesshorseman13

If you go on your AO3 profile and put this code in your “About me” section, you’ll get this badge on your profile:

leosingsblog

If you want to display these badges in your AO3 profile, add this HTML tag:

(the Beta badge is the original one from AO3, while the Alpha and Omega badges are ones I made myself just for fun, so the font is a little different from the original.)

Source: https://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/34626