Sometimes I question my own actions, and by sometimes, I mean every day. (I just like space--and am terrified by it at the same time. I adore Aliens.) In my headcanons, assume everyone is alive unless stated otheriwse (or it's obvious that they aren't). I update very sporatically, apologies. (She/Her)
lotr but nobody knows anything about the other races
Pippin thinks Legolas is a woman
Boromir is convinced that the hobbits are all 15 max
Everyone thinks that Merry and Pippin are twins, except for Legolas, who is convinced the hobbits are quadruplets
Sam thinks that Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas don't have to eat to survive
Legolas doesn't mention things he sees or hears because he thinks the others have noticed them too and just assumes they have a plan
Pippin complains that he is hungry and Legolas just gives him a handful of grass. Pippin is so confused that he just takes it, and now Legolas tries to figure out what hobbits can eat by just giving them random shit, like
Things the hobbits have accepted and likely eaten later (a list by legolas)
-Grass - Leaves
-Stones - a hair tie
-A feather - one of Gimli's shoes
The hobbits and Gimli just assume that this is what elves eat
@techwrecker I don't know what exactly you wanted, but I did this.
When you said about Milo and Tech, that's just the first image that popped into my mind.
Atlantis x tbb: 1 2 3 4
Frankly, you’d known those idiots had had a kid for years now. You’d pretended not to, because while you’d committed a lot of atrocities in your life, you weren’t willing to face the moral quandary of whether you would knowingly kill a child just to spite its parents.
They probably thought they were being clever though, what with the blaming you for an injury you knew damn well you’d never given keeping one of them out of commission for a few months, then references to what they would ‘leave behind’ or ‘could not follow’ when in the latest death trap. One of them had accidentally pulled a pacifier out of their utility belt once, and tried to pass it off as being prepared for any young children they came across while rescuing.
Idiots.
Still, you had standards. Standards that fell somewhere past war crimes and before common decency, but they were standards.
I just know little Padawan Anakin would subconsciously speak in Obi-Wan’s accent when around him and Obi-Wan doesn’t talk about it, in fact he finds it endearing
It wasn’t until Mace was talking to Anakin and hear little Ani with Obi-Wan’s vocal cadence and slight Coruscanti accent and he is just “???” because Anakin has only been at the temple for a month? Why does he sound like baby Obi-Wan?
Even when Anakin is a full grown knight, he would slip in this habit when giving report to the council and they are just “yep yep that’s still Obi-Wan’s baby”
Literally every lyric has so much more Energies if it’s sung to a child I’m gonna die on this hill. “Hey there, Delilah /Don’t you worry about the distance /I’m right there if you get lonely /Give this song another listen” and “Hey there, Delilah/ I know times are gettin’ hard /But just believe me, girl / Someday I’ll pay the bills with this guitar / We’ll have it good /We’ll have the life we knew we would / My word is good” like? He’s trying to get his daughter back? Idk if she’s with the other parent or in foster care or what but it’s So Much I have a lot of feelings about this. The repeated promises, “I’d walk to you if I had no other way” and “I’m right there when you get lonely” when, like, obviously, he’s not, and he’s just sort of desperately hoping that she still understands that he loves her, and that she doesn’t feel abandoned. And then, “Delilah, I can promise you /That by the time that we get through / The world will never ever be the same /And you’re to blame” that’s so fucking sweet? That’s such a sweet thing to say to your daughter. Romance is over. Noncustodial parental love songs are where it’s at.
This is what “death of the author” means. We know that’s not what the song was written about, but what if it was? What if we explored the lyrics as though the speaker was a heartbroken father missing his daughter? It changes EVERYTHING. And it’s so good.
Have always thought that “Hey there Delilah / you be good, and don’t you miss me” is a little creepy and infantilizing if sung to a romantic partner.
But if it’s a father, and he’s saying goodbye to the daughter he never gets to see, and he’s trying so hard to put on a brave face for her, then “You be good, and don’t you miss me” is shattering.
You know how there’s no one gayer in the world than military guys with their active service buddies? I’ve been thinking about how fucking hilarious it would be for Obi-Wan and Anakin to be like that during the Clone Wars. You have these two guys who can feel the other’s soul and very being,living in each other’s back pockets,depending on one every day,constantly striving to keep the other alive,and that’s already the closest bond you can have with someone. They are brothers in arms and are literally called the Open Circle fleet because they are in canon referred to as two halves of the same whole.
But then add in all the military isms from the clones. All the ass slapping and cat calling and that particular brand of flirting soldiers do with one another. All the leering talk of sucking each other off and being a good bunk mate and calling each other pretty. Plus the combat showers and close quarters only further eroding personal space and shyness.
The team comes back to the temple or is on some diplomatic mission between it all and they’re just up in each other’s faces and making kiss sounds towards each other and play slapping asses. When one pins the other down while practice dueling they just give the most slobbering lick up the side of the other’s face. Obi-Wan calls Anakin sugar tits and Anakin sticks his tongue in his cheek when he says master.
Every civilian around them is just like O.o and can’t for the life of them tell if they’re joking or not. The joke is neither Obi-Wan or Anakin can differentiate between normality and it going too far because they’re so weird about each other. They start calling each other babe and giving air kisses goodbye and saying love you bye on holo calls and it’s funny haha jokey until one of them gets hurt and then it’s I love you I love you between frantic,real kisses on the battlefield while the troopers nearest to them who HAVE been joking the whole time watch like O.O
the thing that really kills me with fics where Din gets rescued by a jedi is that its so easily possible. canon would have allowed it. din could have met obi-wan or aayla or literally any other general. it happened during the clone wars and though i love the plot of the mandos rescuing him (as well as the intrigue of them being a death watch offshoot) we could have also had Resident Mando Admirer Obi-wan Kenobi taking one look at that sad child and going, "i don't care that he's not force sensitive, i'm keeping him"
Shout out to another of my favorite Star Wars fanfic series, The Force of Many Sights by DAsObiQuiet (Anne Camp aka Obi-quiet on Fanfiction.net)
Basically, the series is an alternate ending to ROTJ where after dying, Anakin's spirit time travels back to his 9-yr old body and he tries to alter events to take Palpatine down while trying not to reveal his true nature to anyone.
The funniest thing about this fic though is that it's just smol Vaderkin running around causing chaos while trying out how to be a convincing innocent child when he's really a 47-year-old ex-murderous Sith Lord.
This is an actual excerpt from the latest fic:
"Together people from approaching them. They only stopped once they reached the area where the Chancellor stood, already talking to a group of Senators, glass of something alcoholic in one hand (likely mild, the Emperor had never been one to indulge in that sort of thing) while he waved his other hand gracefully to emphasize something he said.
All too soon, he noted Anakin's presence.
"Ah, Anakin, my boy! Glad to see you made it!" he said magnanimously. Then his eyes lifted to Obi-wan and his smile dimmed only the slightest bit. Huh, had that happened in the first life and Anakin just hadn't noticed? Likely. "And who is this?"
Obi-wan bowed. "Jedi Knight Obi-wan Kenobi," he introduced himself, turning on the full charm with that welcoming smile.
"He found me and brought me to the temple," Anakin said, trying to sound as childish as he could without making it over-the-top. They'd practiced this, and he was glad for it. "So when we were told we could bring someone else, I thought of him!"
"I was given permission since I've just come off of medical leave. This is a simple mission, close to home." Obi-wan chuckled and glanced out at the crowd. "Watch the children. Come with a friend." His tome was warm and honest as he put a hand on Anakin's shoulder.
"So you're the little Jedi that's been helping the Chancellor!" someone Anakin had never met before said a little too loudly. They were humanoid and had rather rosy cheeks. Likely drunk. "You're adorable!"
Adorable.
For the first time in a long time, he reminded himself that he couldn't kill random people for being ridiculous."
today i climb onto my soapbox to promote my 'obi-wan in comfortable pyjamas' agenda
Anakin's spiral is interrupted by Obi-Wan’s bedroom door opening. It startles Anakin, because it’s after midnight, yet Obi-Wan is shuffling out of bed. Slippers on, hair mussed, wearing the comfortable pyjamas Anakin got him for his birthday. Mostly as a joke – they’re an attractive light blue and good quality fabric, but Anakin was also mad at Obi-Wan when he bought them so rather than something plain or traditionally masculine he went for the ones with bunnies on them. And Obi-Wan, as if determined to call his bluff, didn’t so much as mention the gift receipt. Actually wore them, realised they were far more comfortable than the simple Jedi linens he used to wear to bed, and has worn them regularly ever since.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master and High General of the Grand Army of the Republic, looks kind of adorable in them. Not that Anakin would ever tell him that.
“Oh, you’re back,” Obi-Wan says, less sleepily than Anakin would have anticipated given the hour.
“You’re awake,” Anakin says, since it’s apparently point out the obvious time.
Obi-Wan shrugs. Fills the kettle, his back to Anakin. He looks strangely tense, despite the pyjamas. “Can’t sleep. Did you have a good night?”
“Great. Met lots of pretty ladies,” Anakin says, both defensive and technically the truth if you define ‘met’ as ‘returned a bracelet and got stared at a lot’. Anakin’s choosing the looser interpretation.
“I see,” Obi-Wan says. There’s something almost… hesitant about it. His voice is quiet, but then, it is the middle of the night.
“... Obi-Wan,” Anakin says, the words spilling out before he can really consider them. “How do you flirt?”
Obi-Wan turns to blink at him. Anakin’s shoulders hunch, and he can feel himself going red.
“Turns out I’m a bit rusty,” Anakin mutters. Not something he’d concede if he weren’t hoping for Obi-Wan to throw him a bone, show him some moves, teach Anakin how in the hell he does it. Obi-Wan’s charm is infamous, and he has a way of attracting the attention of even the most reserved of hearts. Anakin didn’t register to an entire bar full of people as an option.
“The hair didn’t do it?” Obi-Wan says, straddling the line between sarcastic and supportive. It’s a line he straddles often.
“Apparently not.”
“Well,” Obi-Wan says, his lips curving into a smile. Even through his beard, Anakin can see his cheeks dimpling. “Some people have poor taste.”
Anakin startles, then feels something in himself loosen. Finds himself smiling in answer, small and goofy as it is. Obi-Wan’s eyes warm, crinkling a familiar crinkle, a softness about his features that he seems to reserve only for Anakin.
And that’s something, isn’t it. Obi-Wan is good with strangers, but he’s not as good at being himself, guarding the core of him with stubborn ferocity. Charming as he is, he’s so reserved and stoic that he often comes across as cold, even though he isn’t. Anakin is one of the very rare few who see Obi-Wan with his mask off. One of the very rare few whom Obi-Wan smiles at, and means it.
when Qui-Gon publicly dropped Obi-Wan like a hot potato in favor of throwing his full weight into his bid to train Anakin, recently-Knighted Quinlan Vos decided that he had the opportunity to be the funniest motherfucker imaginable (and earn both his friend's eternal debt and ire in one move):
he claimed Obi-Wan Kenobi as his first Padawan
Obi-Wan, while definitely pissed with his friend's 'parenting,' quickly gets behind the idea of using this to spite Qui-Gon as much as possible
the Vos-Kenobi pair immediately set out to break every single one of Jinn's records as pettily as possible, and even managed to earn Quinlan the title of 'youngest Master' when Obi-Wan was Knighted only a few months later when the Council realized what was going on and tried to cut them off by just Knighting Kenobi already
I’ll never quite get over just how integrated kids are into daily Jedi life and the implications of that.
Dooku’s Temple "job" for years seems to have been “teaching lightsaber preschool.” Sifo-Dyas, the guy with the scary doom visions? Oh yeah, they have him working with infants, bringing babies to the Temple as a Seeker. Jocasta Nu is constantly depicted interacting with the younger generation of Jedi, teaching, helping, or mentoring. In TCW, she knows all the Padawans on sight.
There’s just something really ordinary and charming to me about this. Sure, Dooku is a terrifying 2m of spider limbs in a robe, but he’s still going down on one sinister knee to check out the little crying kid who got a finger crunched by one of those wooden training swords. How many of the TCW-era Jedi were once babies who played with Sifo-Dyas’s hair loopies or cuddled on his chest as he pointed his T-6 back toward the Temple after another successful Seeking mission? (Space is, after all, cold. 🥺) You just know Jocasta is in very reluctant possession of knowledge of every single teen Padawan drama, crush, or breakup. She tries to stay out of it, but she’s broken up fights and pulled particulars into her office for tea and a gentle lecture on the inherent self-destructiveness of gossip.
And these are not “just some” Jedi - they are all combat trained, politically important, at the top of their rank and even each sit on the Council at some point in their lives. The Jedi Order really went “super powerful space wizards with laser swords, yeah, but they should also all definitely know how to change a diaper."
First day of Master Dooku’s lightsaber class, probably:
Dooku: this is the lightsaber, the weapon of a Jedi. It is not clumsy or random, it is an elegant and precise tool. It is your life. You will learn how to use it to protect the weak and antagonize the strong.
Youngling: master dooku, will we learn how to make it go fwoosh fwoosh?
Dooku: yes child, you will learn how to make it go fwoosh fwoosh
i love sith!obi-wan as much as the next person but also, consider: obi-wan being the most stubbornly light-side jedi of all time
through a holocron, anakin and obi-wan come face-to-face with the darkest versions of themselves. anakin, of course, sees a monster. darth vader at his most extreme, murderous and even sadistic in his cruelty, not just violent but enjoying the vicious power his violence grants him. he's like a demon brought to life, the dark side in its purest form, malevolent and evil
meanwhile, obi-wan is still obi-wan just slightly worse. obi-wan but with like a bit of a drinking problem and he's let himself go a little. obi-wan but he's gotten addicted to world of space warcraft and is chugging more space mountain dew than might be ideal. The Darkness Within is just obi-wan indulging his self-destructive tendencies and maybe being a bit more of a bitch than he already is, turning up scruffy and less well-groomed than og obi-wan but still absolutely, unmistakably in the light
dude is incorruptible. a beacon of light, stubbornly staying light no matter what life throws at him.
(naturally, obi-wan is still horrified by "evil" obi-wan. dude is listening to his albums on speaker phone. he is so inconsiderate)
I do understand the lightsaber being a Jedi weapon because they connect with kyber and a lot of the weapon’s fighting styles depend on Force-assisted acrobatics. But I saw someone talking ab how if a lightsaber was a real weapon that could cut through metal and stone and shit it would be generating such an insane amount of heat that it would melt your entire arm off just from being near it, and I think it would be really cool if the reason it’s the Jedi Weapon is that while wielding it they are using the force to contain and compress all tht heat energy into just the area of the blade. And anyone who activates a Jedi lightsaber without permission/supervision (and this is where I also like the idea of hidden switches being on the inside so only Jedi can easily reach them and turn them on) immediately just gets hit by an insane wave of heat that scorches everything in a five foot radius. Even cooler if the hilt no longer has a “channeling” mechanism and the only reason the blade maintains a blade shape at all is because the Jedi manipulating it is consciously making it do that. Otherwise it’s just a non-directional blast of burning kyber energy.
