Donna asked Pete that question in S5 about the Sydcarmy of it all and the media response to that was to pretend the show was hating on Sydcarmy shippers, when it’s the exact opposite.
It just shows how the media wrote the show off and was trying to force a white ship or the idea Syd and Carmy are “besties” right to the very end.
It’s why they didn’t give them the last episode to review. They let them tell on themselves and it was genius.
Syd told Donna in S4’s Bears that she was going to get her restaurant and that she cares very deeply about her son.
Donna leaves immediately after talking to Syd.
Donna then requests that Nat bring the box of photos from the basement of the restaurant early and it annoys Nat because it interrupted her domestic bliss, and she makes Carmy do it.
Carmy knows Syd talked to Donna at the wedding.
In Tonnato, Donna unpacks the box right in front of Carmy and goes through a list of their relations and where they came from and she realizes they’re all terrible.
Carmy doesn’t even have to say anything.
Donna tells him the story about how his still unnamed dad was terrible on their honeymoon and made it awful for her.
Carmy lets her unload and then he asks her if she’s okay and cooks for her.
Donna has figured several things out at this point.
Her son is a stranger to her, but also that Syd is the person that makes him feel safe, and he’s not going to react to her the way he used to.
So Donna asking Pete that question in S5 is informed by all of this observation and information.
She knows they’re in love with each other already.
She’s just trying to figure out who else knows.
Because neither Syd or Carmy are telling their families about this.
But it wasn’t like a “gotcha” that Sydcarmy wasn’t real.
It was making fun of the people and media who keep pretending it wasn’t always presented that way.
Same thing with Marcus and Luca hoarding all the spoons. Not going to spoon-feed an audience who hates what they’re serving.
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