[onlyanothermundane]

It's fascinating and frustrating,

at the same time.

How you can't bring back a persons interest in you,

no matter how hard you try.

-ri 01.06.25

[kupferkopf-bps]

Und ich höre dein "Ich liebe dich" und habe Angst, dass es eine Lüge ist.

kupferkopf-bps

[viktoriasch1]

Könntest du mich bitte noch etwas fester drücken? Ich glaube, ich falle sonst auseinander.

[7koepfig-deactivated20251209]

Ich fühle alles oder nichts und beides unermesslich.

Ich bin das Meer, in dem ich ertrinke oder die Wüste, in der ich verdurste.

[onlyanothermundane]

You don't love me. Not really. You love what you want me to be. What you want me to give you. You don't see me for who I am, nor do you appreciate what I am ready to give. You don't love me. Not at all.

-Ri.

[blooming-anna-rose]

“and sometimes

I forget how to be me

the puzzle solver

the problem fixer

the glue

because it is exhausting

to make it easier for everyone

to love one another.”

- n.c. // i don’t want to always be me

[onlyanothermundane]

Everybody is always talking about healing.

But I still don't understand.

How am I supposed to heal?

Destroying myself always came so easy to me,

when I grew up in an destructive envoirnment.

But maybe healing isn't something you have to learn.

Like maths or languages.

Maybe healing is unlearning that all too familiar destruction.

And instead finding comfort in unknown safety.

Maybe all I need to heal is already within me.

And has always been.

Maybe instead of learning, I need to unlearn and let go.

Maybe I've been healing all along.

-ri // 19.01.23

[honeypleasejustkillme]

bpd is so stupid. i hate dealing with it every day. feeling like i’m constantly being replaced, feeling like no one wants me around, feeling like i don’t matter to anyone. it’s stupid. logically i know none of that is true but it doesn’t make me feel any better.

[thoughtkick]

“I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation for the little things, my vivid inner life, my deep awareness of others’ pain, and my passion for it all.”

— Unknown

[honeypleasejustkillme]

bpd makes me love others the way i myself crave to be loved. entirely, blindly, obsessively, overall crazily.

this type of love is unsustainable but i've never been shown how to love healthily, and reasonable love from others never feels like enough.

[anxiouslyyourss]

You say you want to be alone and you like it that way, But aren't you the one who once wanted to feel belonged and included? But some stupid people once made you feel stupid for being happy and excited. Their under excitment towards your over excitement made you feel like they're not really happy to be with you and didn't actually want you to be around? It made you feel like you're bothering them which ended up you making feel worthless. Damn that look on their face. You still remember it? right? It really made you feel like a heavy burden that those people had to deal with even when they didn't really wanted to. Since so, you decided to be on your own and started telling people that you're anti social and don't really like hanging out with people?

[reading-books-in-the-moonlight]

[caffeinatedsupernova-deactivate]

orange is so pretty how can you not like it shut up

[onlyanothermundane]

[saintlysinnerss]

i wish to be more poetic, more romantic, more classy yet i stumble around like a thirteen year old boy with no sense of direction

[onlyanothermundane]

Emergency Exit

I wish my body had an emergency exit, so that I could leave it whenever these feelings become too much to handle.

I would just run down the hallway, passing the doors to forgotten memories, that I never want to uncover again.

Sprinting for the exit leading me out of all that I am and don't wanna be.

Breathing in some fresh air and feeling free from everything that should have never happened but changed me deeply.

And when I remember who I am without these feelings haunting me, I will be ready to go and take back control over my body.

-Ri.

[filmnoirsbian]

Day 1: Hauntings

Joan Tierney / MaenaArts

[duhtrinity]

life is unfair. // these are my poems. Don’t use them or post them anywhere without asking.