Only in France

Observations et saynètes de la vie française aujourd'hui.

[onlyinfrance]

PROVOCATIVE FRENCH WINE LABELS

VIN BAGNOLE - its all in the description.

CHATONS DE GARDE - Not for bitches.

JAUNI ROTTEN - You need 16.3% alcohol to like the name. BTW, they all got great ratings for quality… So we should'nt judge a wine by its label.

[onlyinfrance]

No Bullshit Economics from Titan - for Arnaud & les Syndicats.

Provocative straight talk? Yes.

But France gotta get real with its outlandish work code or kiss goodbye to its cosy lifestyle ...

[onlyinfrance]

Time to replace the Circus Buffoon.

On Sunday in Journal du Dimanche, Business-savy Arnaud tells Mittal to get out of France. The Ministre wants to spend taxpayers money to nationalize the plant. The Stalinist is back!

The Economist just published a 14 page special report on France, calling the country a TIME-BOMB in the heart of Europe. It is the kind of usual well documented, in-depth report for which the Economist is famous and respected worldwide.

Arnaud promoting Made-in-France products.

Arnaud Montebourg, who can't resist making off the wall comments shrugged off the report. He called the Economist "Charlie Hebdo of the City" and the article French Bashing. Charlie Hebdo is a lousy French satirical paper that has not changed his lines since the sixties. Unfortunately it is Arnaud's frame of reference.

When PSA announced the upcoming closure of their factory in Aulnay, Arnaud Montebourg, immediately publicly attacked the shareholding Peugeot family. What a great maneuver indeed.

He violently criticized Free mobile low pricing as the cause of layoffs at its sleepy and complacent competitors: Orange, SFR and Bouygues. Recent studies show that Free's aggressive pricing immediately transferred €1.7 Billion to French consumers and will ultimately create 30,000 new jobs.

Arcelor-Mittal, Doux, Sanofi... in every possible occasion, Arnaud Montebourg public comments show improvisation and a total lack of preparedness.

The "Ministre du Redressement Productif" (a Stalinist title indeed) cannot be amateurish and should have a minimal understanding and experience of business.

TIME for LAUGHS is OVER - TIME to CHANGE THE GUARD.

And since we are at it, let's promote Manuel Valls to Prime Minister. But... Manuel was born in Barcelona, Spain. So, is he truly French ?? Also, is he too Sarkozy-like anyway ?? Another topic all together.

[onlyinfrance]

Le Marriage pour Tous. Folks, the King already decided for you...

The anti gay marriage coalition has gathered steam this week-end in France. Very successful marches were held in Paris, Lyon, Toulouse and many other French cities. The colorful leader Frigide Barjot, whose name means Frigid Wacko, is steering the movement.

Anyway, there is lots of anxiety right now in France about Gay Marriage and Gay Adoption. Hollande's government decided on a law for the Gallic People without much democratic process. Society issues of this magnitude call for a true public debate and a wide participation of all parties in the population.

Demonstrators oppose le Marriage pour Tous because marriage is for a man and a woman to have children. Then heterosexual couples who do not want children or can't have children should be denied marriage. Right ?

Actually, what is even more upsetting to the demonstrators is having gay or lesbian couples raising adopted children. They are afraid that the children become homosexual themselves. As we know, heterosexual parents raise only heterosexual children. Right ?

The demonstrators are not addressing The most important question: CHILDREN's BEST INTEREST. Is the child better off in life with the love of an homosexual couple or being kept in low life condition in a poor foreign country??

Time for France to do some SOUL SEARCHING.

In the meantime, Elton John and his partner are adopting their second child without raising an eyebrow. But that is in the UK, land of perdition.

[onlyinfrance]

Will Arnaud and French Unions kill automaker Peugeot ??

Arnaud Montebourg is the freshly appointed Ministre du Redressement Productif. Really, he is in charge of preventing lay-off and factory closures in France. A tough job indeed. He is a smiling, vociferous, camera loving guy.

French car-maker PSA just announced the closure of their 8,000 employees plant north of Paris. This is the first real test for Arnaud. For starters, he attacked publicly the Peugeot family ethic, board members and the company as a whole.  May be Arnaud has not realized he is a Minister with responsibilities and no longer a member of the opposition…

W’ ll see if he changes his tune in the future.

In the meantime, French Unions have declared "war on Peugeot"…

The banner above clearly shows that profits suck jobs - Marxist Union logic at its best.

Arnaud Montebourg just announced an incentive plan to boost hybrid and electric car sales in France. The plan is  a band-aid that will do little to help Peugeot’s survival. It is not addressing the fundamental issue: HOW TO MAKE PEUGEOT COMPETITIVE WORLDWIDE.

Peugeot needs to be able to run its business as it sees fit.

Sergio Marchionne, head of Chrysler and FIAT declared that Europe needs to close up to 12 plants to control overcapacity and for the local car industry to get healthy. Ford in the US had to layoff half its workforce to restructure. GM closed 13 of its 47 US based factories. US Unions went along.

The FIAT figures below show the extent of the problem for European legacy manufacturers who have not cut their overcapacity yet:

 Peugeot market capitalization is around €2 Billion. Volkswagen is 30 times larger and stands at €60 Billion. Lot’s can be said about Peugeot strategy and management, concentration on European market, slow start in China, product offering… But, right now they claim to be burning €200Million cash a month. So there is not a lot of time left before they go bust or get acquired by… the French government - who else??

Let’s hope Mr Hollande will have the guts to address his most pressing issue: LE CODE DU TRAVAIL ! (aka revamping outdated labor laws)

[onlyinfrance]

Tax loving French Socialists trigger alarming back-up at Swiss Border

Create a 75% tax bracket on income over €1Million. It will show that you really want world class athletes and artists to move out of France.

Severely cap salaries of top earners at government controlled companies and you will encourage the best chiefs to join the -foreign- competition.

Declare an aggressive wealth tax starting at the equivalent of a small Paris apartment and watch "wealthy" people leave France.

and finally... you will be able to declare that Social-ist Justice has won in France!

[onlyinfrance]

And now France is entering the times of Girlfriends, very-High Heels and Normal

Promenade of Wives and Girlfriend at the G8 Meeting in DC. Michelle Obama looks stunning and she is -again- a great tribute to American Fashion.

Hummm... By looking @ the picture, it seems to me that the marital status of François Hollande in anything but NORMAL! He said he would not get married for the Protocol. He had four children with Ségolène and he did not tie the knot either. So... I guess, it is just a matter of how you define NORMAL.

It does not seem to affect most French people, who got accustomed to NORMAL presidential marital arrangements starting with President Mitterand.

Last week François Hollande took a NORMAL trip. He traveled to Brussels by regular train and returned to Paris by car. Hopefully, this will be his first and last NORMAL voyage! Really, he can't afford to waste so much time and taxpayers money on extra security expenses.

By the way, how are we supposed to call Valérie Trierweiler (her ex-husband's last name): Spouse? Significant other? Girlfriend? First Lady? Partner? Compagne? Madame Trierweiler?

What do you think ?

[onlyinfrance]

Presidential hopeful, François Hollande believes he can walk on water...

Socialist Mr Hollande intends to create a 75% TAX BRACKET for revenues above €1Million. Ouch!  Swiss real estate agents are already confirming a pick-up in French buyers around Lake Geneva. Mr Hollande is trying real hard to get rid of all top earners and "wealthy" people residing in France. He may very well succeed. The scary thing is that 60% of French people approve the measure.

To fight rising gas prices at the pump, Mr Hollande has a very simple solution. He will CONTROL GAS PRICES. He may lower taxes on gas to a very limited extent and thereby increase France's budget deficit - not a timely move at all.  But this will not prevent the nasty bullish trend on worldwide oil prices.

This guy must think he is God. No kidding!

It shows two things: his team of economic advisers is hopelessly out of touch with reality and the candidate himself is blinded by politics. 

Should Mr Hollande make it to the cockpit, France should brace itself for a very bumpy flight and pray to avoid a crash altogether.

Mr Hollande during a political rally is greeted with flour by a not-so-happy camper.

[onlyinfrance]

French Billionaire Entrepreneur Xavier Niel strikes again!

After a very well organized and controlled buzz that lasted for months in France, Xavier Niel finally unveiled FREE MOBILE calling plans.

The January 10th show was very much in Steve Jobs style except that Xavier's shirt was white instead of black ... and that FREE MOBILE's web site was bugged and you could not order for two full days after the launch.

At any rate, his pricing is a true game changer and a nightmare for Orange, SFR and Bouygues Telecom, the legacy operators with their fat and cosy margins.

In this battle, French regulators and the government have supported and fostered true competition in the market place. It is quite refreshing and a step in the right direction toward a more modern France. For a change, the French consumer wins big time. However, some stockholders may cry come dividend season.

Merci FREE MOBILE and BRAVO Xavier!

[onlyinfrance]

Let's upset a trading partner! Just what the French economy needs.

What in the world was the "Assemblée" thinking when they  voted their -out-of-this-world- Genocide Law. Does not France have more pressing issues to address, than annoying the Turkish people?? The day before Christmas eve. Hard to believe.

What is France gaining for creating this mess?  May be the "Députés" felt it gives some Grandeur back to France?? Not a fat chance, Folks.

French President Sarkozy declared that France had "principles" and that this Genocide Law was right. French car manufacturers account for one fifth of the Turkish market - France is currently lobbying hard to build a nuclear reactor on the Black Sea.  French principles may turn out to be costly...

Politicians can easily shoot themselves in the foot - the world around actually.

[onlyinfrance]

A French "Apple"?? No kidding ...

Apple and Louis Vuitton enjoy an unchallenged worldwide name recognition, a huge base of aficionados, obscene margins (50%+) by today's standard. Both companies aim for perfection in product design and thrive on customer delight. Pure EXCELLENCE is their recipe for success. But the similarities stop here.

Louis Vuitton sells bags, suitcases, fashion accessories and you know what... at a tune of $8 Billions a year. It grew an awesome 22% last year. The company has 450+ stores around the world. It is indeed quite impressive for selling $1000+ handbags with plastic on the outside and leather on the inside - just kidding.

Of course, such high prices keep the gates of counterfeiting wide open the world around. When sued, a creative Italian copier had the best defense argument in court: he explained the judge that his 100% look-alike LV logo really stood for La Valigia (the suitcase). It did not fly.

Louis Vuitton willingly limits output  to make its bags more desirable and exclusive. Its challenge is how to grow without diluting its image. The company has 12 factories in France, 3 in Spain and 2 in guess what... California. In France alone, it employs about 3,500 leather-goods workers.

Its "Ateliers" may look old fashioned, but let's not get fooled. Louis Vuitton spends "tens of millions of euros" annually on industrial investments, state of the art machinery and technology  to make production remarkably efficient.

Louis Vuitton is part of the $13.5Billion French Luxury-goods empire LVMH built by the Lord of Luxe, Bernard Arnaud. It includes Champagne Dom Perignon, Cognac Hennessy, Dior, Italian Jeweler Bulgari, Fendi fashion house, Sephora cosmetics chain, Tag-Heuer watches - and the list goes on and on... Bernard Arnaud ranks 4th on Forbes Billionaires list. His cool $41Billion net worth puts him right after Warren B. and before Larry E. Congratulations or Chapeau! (as they say here).

[onlyinfrance]

Just apologize to the French People and then please... stay quiet!

Since DSK has returned to France, we hear a litany of false and stupid comments from all parts: TV news anchors, Socialist friends and supporters alike. Let's get the facts straight.

FIRST, DSK was NOT cleared. He was NOT declared innocent. Cyrus Vance -the NY prosecutor- dropped the charges because the witness proved too unreliable. That's it.

SECOND, stop asking DSK to narrate his version of the incident. We already heard his story, when he told it to the NY judge:  It was just the French-born (then) IMF Director having a consensual quickie with a black poor immigrant hotel maid -- before heading for lunch with his daughter.  No money involved - just for pleasure, your Honor! THIRD, do not expect any juicy details on how his sperm ended up on the maid' s uniform collar. FOURTH, his (third and very rich) wife keeps writing the checks, for now... He is really a lucky fellow and I am sure they miss him at Rykers Island. What a guy!

  Criminal charges dropped - for sure. But... France's reputation in the world got damaged? -- Of course. Innocent of sexual assault? -- We shall never know.  Sex addict in need of therapy? -- It looks like it. Unfit for any higher office ? -- I think so and hope so. But we are in France... after all.

[onlyinfrance]

Does the Ministre des Finances read "Le Journal de la Rue du Mur" ??

François Baroin, the current French Finance Minister, a young, sharp and articulate civil servant, does not have a good command of Shakespeare's language at all. Rumor has it that he is actually pretty much hopeless in English. This can be embarrassing for him and the country.

Since Christine is back to the USA, now heading the IMF, she can no longer tutor in English. So, I am wondering if François is using Google translation to read the Wall Street Journal ?? - or may be he does not read the WSJ. When will English no longer be considered a foreign language in France, but a basic survival skill for today's world ??  -- much more so than learning the complete works of Victor Hugo, Moliere and Rabelais. May be the Swiss can give their French neighbors some clues on that topic...

[onlyinfrance]

Kinky Sex Triangle in Paris ?

Anne M., Tristane's mother, reported to French police she had a consensual but brutal sexual relationship with DSK in an O.E.C.D. office in Paris in the early 2000. Dominique in a love triangle? How decadent. 

Posts everywhere reveal DSK's sexual predatory behaviors and patterns. Women testimonies are surfacing indicating violence and domination. Lots of politicians and famous names are circulating Paris, highlighting their embarrassing past silence .... How much of the  French police reports and news can Cyrus use in NY ?? Probably not much unfortunately.

Presidential hopeful, Francois Hollande was interrogated by French police ---  a not at all welcome nor timely distraction for the (least bad) socialist candidate.

Merci beaucoup Dominique, no kidding. BTW, have you considered getting fixed ?

Voila, to be continued of course.

[onlyinfrance]

Reporting from Lugdunum (Lyon) Click for a great view from the Outpost's balcony.

Click for Lyon Data Details sur la ville de Lyon

[onlyinfrance]

Spirited Franco-Norvegian Viking threatens La République!

Green Party 2012 Presidential candidate, Eva Joly, on Bastille Day had the guts to suggest France may want to get rid of its MILITARY DÉFILÉ. She suggested it be replaced by a more popular and peaceful event. It is so in many countries around the world - so it cannot be that farfetched.

Her stance triggered an out-pour of xenophobic reactions and comments from all sides, right & left, politicians, journalists, writers... Even the Prime Minister got nasty. He explained Ms Joly was not properly connected to the true foundations of France and its people. Of course, all of that is due to her place of birth, Norway. It does not matter that she's lived in France for 50 years nor that she is a French citizen. Some far thinking politicians even suggested she should return to Norway, where she was coming from...

During her impressive career as a French magistrate,  Eva Joly  instructed several politically very sensitive "Affaires" (Tapie, Elf, Frégates de Taiwan...). She received an international award for her integrity during her work.

I am sure Eva will add some Norwegian spice to the upcoming French election circus.

[onlyinfrance]

Touches pas mon défilé, mon Pote!

The French Bastille day military défilé is a broad and remarkable display of military power. The choreography is impeccable. It has grandeur and panache. No doubt it makes most of France feel proud and powerful (kinda rare feelings down here nowadays…).  

Only China, Russia and North Korea  have a military défilé the scope and size of the French one. Most European countries no longer have big military power displays to celebrate their National Day.

But of course it cannot apply to France, because France is different.  Here, we also celebrate the fall of the Bastille in 1789… Do you understand ? The French military défilé was started in 1919 to pay tribute to the last war heroes. How daring for foreign born Eva Joly to want to change it -- almost 100 years after its inception?