Actually when I say âfuck all billionairesâ I particularly mean Taylor âhaving my wedding in the middle of the busiest city in the world on the busiest weekend in the world in the part of the city the majority of commuters need to get through because fuck working peopleâ Swift
⥠summary: After the celebration following the trial, you seek refuge beneath the weirwood tree to clear your mind, only for Valarr to find you once again. What begins as a quiet conversation filled with gratitude and unspoken feelings quickly turns into something neither of you can stop, nor undo.
⥠word count: 4.5k
⥠tropes: slow burn, he fell first and harder, hurt-comfort, No use of y/n, no physical description of reader, reader is a badass and can fight, reader and valarr are adults.
⥠warnings: afab reader, slight misogny, violence, death, cursing, reader has a direwolf, no beta read.
⥠a/n: It took me so long to perfect this chapter. Also i started working on a new baelor angst fic, cant wait to complete that :). Thank you so much for reading đđ see you next week.
Chapter 9
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The Great Hall was alive with celebration. The voices of drunken lords echoed beneath the ceilings of the hall as bards played lively songs from one corner. Servants hurried between tables, carrying roasted meats, steaming pies and overflowing goblets of ale, weaving around laughing nobles.
And somewhere in the middle of all that chaos was you.
After the trial had ended, you had returned to your chambers for a much needed bath before spending what felt like an eternity in your father's solar discussing Lord Mallery's punishment and the unrest it might cause amongst the southern lords.
By the time you had finally entered the Great Hall, almost every pair of eyes had turned towards you.
The Northerners had congratulated you on your victory, praising you with pride shining in their eyes.
The southerners had been different. Many older lords had eagerly introduced their sons or widowed relatives to you, while younger knights and heirs had attempted to charm you with smiles they no doubt believed irresistible. Every few minutes another unfamiliar face would appear before you with compliments that grew more exaggerated than the last.
One even claimed the Maiden herself must have carved your face from marble. You had nearly laughed.
It had been over an hour, yet you still had not managed to reach the High Table. Instead, Alyssane had practically kidnapped you almost the moment you stepped inside and proudly introduced you to the group of young southern ladies she had somehow befriended during their stay.
To your absolute horror, they had spent most of the evening lamenting the fact that you had been born a woman.
"If only you had been a man," one sighed dramatically. "I would've married you."
Another had simply shrugged. "I still would, if you allow it my lady."
Your ears had burned scarlet while Alyssane had laughed herself breathless beside you. Northern ladies, as William often liked to remind you, had always swooned over you. But unlike the southerners they usually do not possess enough courage to announce it aloud.
Yet another difference between the North and the South.
You quietly accepted another slice of cake while Alyssane enthusiastically retold the events of the trial for what had to be the fifth time.
"...and then she simply walked into the courtyard covered in blo-"
"My Lady Stark." The unfamiliar voice interrupted her.
You looked up to find a young man standing before your table. He could not have seen more than twenty namedays old. Judging by both his accent and attire, he was undoubtedly from the South. He bowed politely before extending a hand towards you.
"My lady..." His cheeks flushed crimson. "May I be so bold as to ask for a dance? I fear you have quite thoroughly bewitched me."
You stared at him for a brief moment. Then, internally, wondered whether shoving his face into the cake would be considered poor etiquette.
This made seventeen men today who had claimed to have fallen hopelessly in love with you. Taking a slow breath, you forced your most polite smile onto your face.
"I am honoured by the offer, my lord. Unfortunately...I do not dance."
You deliberately returned your attention to your cake, silently praying he would understand the dismissal. And thankfully, he did. After a hurried apology, the poor man practically fled.
Beside you, Alyssane failed spectacularly at suppressing her laughter. You slowly turned to glare at her and she immediately looked away.
With an exhausted groan, you rested your forehead against the table. You wished, quite sincerely, to be anywhere else.
"My Lady Stark."
Another voice came from behind you. Your head snapped upwards, every intention of refusing whoever had interrupted your misery.
"...Ethan?"
He stood before you with one hand extended and the most sympathetic smile you had ever seen him wear.
You raised an eyebrow.
"These dance proposals won't stop until someone actually dances with you." He gave an exaggerated sigh. "Allow me to be the sacrificial lamb."
You stared at him for another second. Then immediately accepted his hand. The two of you made your way towards the centre of the hall, joining the countless other couples already swaying gently to the music.
"Gods..." you muttered beneath your breath as Ethan guided you through the dance. "I hate this."
"I know."
"I have developed a headache because of it."
Ethan laughed. "I was wondering why you looked ready to declare war." He spun you gently before continuing. "So...how many?"
"Seventeen men." You sighed dramatically before continuing. "And two women."
Ethan's eyes gleamed with poorly concealed amusement. "Then I truly deserve your gratitude."
You rolled your eyes. "Yes, yes. Thank you, Lord Glover. My eternal thanks."
"I shall expect a statue."
"You shall receive another kick."
He laughed again before his expression shifted ever so slightly.
"What?"
He nodded subtly over your shoulder.
"If looks could kill...I'd already be dead."
Confused, you allowed Ethan to guide the dance until his back faced the High Table, and you had the view of the table over his shoulders.
"Don't look immediately," he murmured. "That'll make it obvious."
Naturally, you looked immediately, and your breath caught in your throat.
Valarr was staring directly at the two of you. There was no smile upon his face, only something that looked painfully close to hurt. His jaw remained tightly clenched, his mismatched eyes fixed upon Ethan with an intensity you had never seen from the gentle prince before.
Then, his eyes met yours. You looked away so quickly your neck nearly hurt. Your heart began pounding against your ribs, as you remembered the way he had smiled down at you after the trial. The pride shining in his eyes. The warmth of that smile had lingered with you long after you had left the courtyard.
You had wanted to speak with him afterwards. Instead, duties had pulled you in opposite directions. Even tonight, when you entered the Great Hall, your eyes had instinctively searched for him first. He had been seated beside Berena as always, but he as looking at you.
Then the nobles had surrounded you, Alyssane had dragged you away, and the moment had slipped through your fingers. Ethan's amused chuckle pulled you back.
"Tch..." He shook his head.
"Looks like the prince isn't the only fool in love."
"There is nothing like that."
You answered far too quickly, and Ethan merely smiled.
"Of course." His grin widened as he looked at your properly.
"And I suppose the two of you simply keep staring at each other because the roasted venison wasn't cooked properly."
You stepped squarely onto his foot.
"Ouch!"
"You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."
The music ended and you offered Ethan a quick bow before anyone else could approach. Without another word, you slipped from the Great Hall.
You had no intention of remaining there long enough for an eighteenth proposal.
Your sword still needed tending. Although the blood had long since been washed from its blade, it still required oil before it could be sheathed properly for the night.
The armoury guards greeted you with respectful nods as you collected a clean cloth and a bottle of oil before quietly making your way towards the Godswood. The moment you stepped beneath the ancient trees, the noise of the feast faded behind you. Only the whispering of the leaves remained.
Specter already rested beside the great stone beneath the weirwood. His ears perking up the instant he saw you before he lazily stretched and wandered over.
You smiled at him as you scratched behind his ear, "At least someone has had a pleasant evening."
Settling upon the familiar stone, you dipped the cloth into the oil before drawing your sword across your lap, working the cloth across the steel.
For several peaceful minutes, nothing disturbed the silence beyond the rustling leaves overhead and Specter's slow breathing beside you.
Eventually, however, Specter's ears twitched. The great wolf lifted his head and sniffed the air. But he showed no signs of aggression, meaning the whoever it was, they were not a threat.
You sighed softly and closed your eyes.
"Ethan..."
You had already begun rehearsing whatever sarcastic remark you intended to greet him with. Instead, your name reached your ears, and your eyes snapped to confirm that you did just hallucinate the voice.
Several feet away stood Valarr. He wore a black and crimson doublet embroidered with dragons that shimmered faintly beneath the moonlight. A heavy fur-lined cloak rested upon his shoulders, fastened with the three-headed dragon of House Targaryen. His hair was more untidy than it had been during the feast. And his expression...looked relieved almost.
For several long moments, neither of you spoke. The sword resting across your lap was entirely forgotten as your gaze drifted towards those mismatched eyes once again.
"Valarr..." His name escaped your lips before you could stop it, and the silence finally broke.
Valarr scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck. "I promise I wasn't following you." He spoke so quickly that you almost laughed. "I didn't even know you were here. I only wanted some fresh air, and I remembered you saying the Godswood was peaceful, so I thought perhaps I would walk here and then Iâ"
A quiet laugh escaped you, and you bit your lip before it grew any louder.
"It's alright." You smiled reassuringly. "I believe you."
Valarr visibly relaxed. He approached slowly before stopping a respectful distance away, his hands once again finding their familiar place clasped neatly behind his back.
You realised, rather belatedly, that you had begun staring again. You quickly lowered your gaze back towards your sword.
"You come here often to clean it?"
You nodded. "I do." You gently ran the cloth along the blade. "It is peaceful here."
Valarr glanced around the Godswood before nodding in quiet agreement. His eyes drifted towards Specter, who regarded him with sleepy indifference. Valarr offered the direwolf a tiny smile. And you hid another smile of your own.
"I..." Valarr began quietly as you looked up at him, "I never had the chance to congratulate you."
A breath escaped you, warmth immediately creeping across your cheeks. You cleared your throat as you slid your sword back into its sheath, trying your best to appear unaffected. "Thank you."
Valarr shook his head almost immediately, his mismatched eyes never leaving yours.
"No, I mean it." His voice carried an earnestness that made your chest tighten. "I have never seen anyone fight like that before. Even the master at arms back at King's Landing does not fight the way you do. Every strike was precise, every movement deliberate. You looked comfortable. Like the sword belonged in your hand."
He paused for only a heartbeat before continuing, his excitement carrying his words faster than he could seem to think. "You never looked afraid. Even when everyone was watching you, it felt as though you had forgotten the crowd entirely. You only saw your opponent. It was..." He breathed out a small laugh and scratched the back of his neck. "It was incredible."
You stared at him. No one had ever spoken about your swordsmanship like that. Most compliments had always come with conditions about how you were good enough for a woman. For someone who was never meant to inherit. There had always been something attached to the praise.
But Valarr had simply called you incredible. Your heart fluttered so violently that it almost hurt, and you looked away before the prince could notice just how affected you were.
"Thank you," you repeated more quietly, your voice softer this time. "Truly."
You took a small breath before looking back at him. "And...thank you for speaking up during the council."
Valarr visibly tensed before slowly relaxing again. From the corner of your eye, you caught the faint red spreading across the tips of his ears.
"It was nothing," he murmured. "I only did what anyone should have done."
You smiled gently. "That may be true, but no one found the courage to speak against another lord before an entire council."
Your eyes met his. "You did, and I am grateful."
For a long moment, Valarr simply stood there, his gaze lowered as though he did not quite know what to do with your gratitude. He finally inclined his head ever so slightly before looking towards the great weirwood standing proudly before the two of you.
Silence settled once more between the two of you. It was not uncomfortable, if anything, it felt peaceful.
The wind stirred the crimson leaves overhead, carrying with it the distant sounds of celebration from the castle.
Then Valarr spoke again. "I lied."
Your brows drew together. "You lied?"
He swallowed. "I did follow you."
His shoulders stiffened immediately afterward. "I-I mean- not in a strange way." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I saw you leave the hall, and you looked uncomfortable. I know how persistent southern lords can be. And then I saw you dancing with Lord Glover."
Something flickered across his expression. Something uncertain and something that lingered close to hurt. "I thought perhaps he had upset you. And I remembered finding you here before."
He laughed nervously, though there was very little humour in it. "So, I guessed this was where you would come." He looked down at the ground. "I am sorry if I overstepped."
Something inside your chest softened. Without truly thinking, you stepped closer, your hand reaching for his gloved one almost on instinct, your fingers wrapping gently around it.
And you can feel Valarr freeze. His eyes slowly lifting until they met yours once more.
"I must say," you murmured with the smallest smile, "you worry far too much, my prince."
A faint blush coloured his cheeks.
"But..." you continued softly, "...I find it rather endearing."
His lips parted ever so slightly, you could almost hear his heart stop.
"And Ethan and I are only friends," you explained. "We have known each other since childhood. We argue, we tease each other, and occasionally I contemplate pushing him into a lake. He can be quite insufferable."
You can see Valarr's shoulders easing ever so slightly.
"So..." he asked cautiously, almost afraid of the answer, "...Lord Ethan is not your lover?"
You could not help the disbelief laugh that escaped you. The expression on your face turned positively horrified.
"Gods, no."
You wrinkled your nose dramatically.
"He is practically my brother."
The relief that crossed Valarr's face was almost immediate. His entire posture relaxed, and the tension he had been carrying seemed to melt away all at once. You looked away before he could notice the smile threatening to spread across your own lips.
"Then," he murmured sheepishly, "I apologise for assuming."
When you turned back towards him, you realised just how little distance remained between the two of you. Neither of you had noticed yourselves moving closer. And his face was barely inches from yours.
For the first time, you noticed the freckles scattered lightly across his cheeks and nose. You had never realised he had them. They somehow made him look even softer, even more handsome.
Your eyes drifted lower to look at his lips, only for the briefest of moments. Warmth rushed through you so suddenly that you almost forgot how to breathe.
When your gaze lifted again, Valarr was already looking at you. His mismatched eyes searching yours with the same quiet wonder and daze that you imagined was reflected in your own.
Neither of you moved or spoke. His fingers tightened ever so slightly around your hand, and your heartbeat thundered against your ribs.
You knew this was wrong, and exactly who he was meant to marry. You knew what your duty was, that you should step back and let go.
You should say something.
Instead, you remained exactly where you were. Blaming the blurr of your judgement on your blood, which was still running hot from the trial.
Valarr hesitated slightly, and you watched uncertainty cross his face. As though he wished to move closer but feared he had imagined everything.
Then slowly, he leaned forward. His forehead almost brushed yours, his lips mere inches away from your own as his breath fanned softly across your face.
You closed your eyes for only a heartbeat before opening them again, meeting his gaze one last time. And then, you were the one who closed the remaining distance.
Your lips met his.
It was soft and tentative. Almost questioning. For a fraction of a second, Valarr stood perfectly still. Then he kissed you back with the same hesitant gentleness, as though terrified that moving too quickly would shatter the moment entirely. His body moving to press against yours.
One of his hands lifted carefully to cup your cheek. It was warm despite the cold air around you. Your fingers tightened around his other hand without thinking.
Time seemed to lose all meaning. There was no rustling of the leaves or the distant celebration from Winterfell. The only thing you felt, was the warmth of the prince who was standing impossibly close.
It was everything you had imagined a first kiss might be. So gentle and so innocent.
Then reality returned all at once. Your eyes flew open, and your breath caught painfully in your throat.
Berena.
You just kissed your sister's possible betrothed.
Everything crashed into you with enough force to make your stomach twist. You stumbled backwards, your hands pressing against Valarr's chest.
He stepped away immediately. The colour drained from both of your faces. Behind you, Specter let out a quiet, uneasy whine. Valarr looked every bit as horrified as you felt.
"My-" He swallowed. "I...I am-." His words tumbled over one another, his own breath coming in panicked pants. "I should not have-I never meant- I-"
He took one hesitant step towards you. But you instinctively took another step back. Your ears rang, and chest felt painfully tight. Tears blurred your vision before you even realised they had formed.
"I..." Your voice broke. "I need to go."
It was barely more than a whisper. You turned before he could stop you. The trees blurred together as you ran through the Godswood towards the castle without ever looking back.
Valarr remained standing in the Godswood for what felt like hours. His feet refused to move, rooted to the snow beneath them as he struggled to steady his breathing. The cold wind bit at his face, but he scarcely felt it. All he could see was the horrified expression that had crossed your face before you fled.
His first kiss.
Ever since he was a child, he had imagined that whoever became his wife would also be the one to share that first kiss with him. It would be something precious, something he would remember with fondness for the rest of his life.
Instead, all he could remember were the tears that had gathered in your eyes. The way you had looked at him as though the two of you had just made a terrible mistake.
Valarr closed his eyes and dragged a trembling hand through his hair.
Gods.
What had he done?
He should have stopped. He knew better. He knew your sister was the one everyone expected him to marry, and yet the moment you had stepped closer, every lesson about duty and honour had abandoned him. He had let his heart decide where his mind should have.
And now he had hurt you and the thought alone made his stomach churn. His fingers tightened in his hair until the slight sting grounded him.
He needed to apologise.
Now.
Valarr turned and broke into a run. Snow crunched beneath his boots as he raced through the Godswood and across the courtyard, barely noticing the startled guards who stepped aside to let him pass. His cloak billowed behind him as he hurried through the castle corridors, his thoughts running faster than his feet.
He did not even know where your chambers were. But if he had to knock on every single door in Winterfell until he found you, then he would.
As he rounded another corner, he nearly collided with Meera. The maid balanced a plate carrying slices of cake, her brows knitting together in confusion the moment she recognised him.
"My prince?"
Valarr stopped so abruptly that he nearly lost his footing.
"My lady Meera," he breathed, struggling to collect himself. "Please..."
Your name escaped his lips before he swallowed hard.
"Can you tell me where her chambers are?"
Meera blinked several times. "My prince... I..." She glanced down the corridor before looking back at him. "Why would you need to know that? I do not believe it would be appropriate."
"I do not care." The words left him before he could soften them.
"I need-" He took another shaky breath, his eyes searching Meera's desperately. "No...I have to speak with her. I beg you."
The maid studied him carefully. His hair was dishevelled, his breathing uneven, his hands still trembling ever so slightly. Something in her expression shifted.
"My prince," she said gently, "I do not think that would be wise."
Valarr's heart sank.
"The lady requested not to be disturbed tonight. She did not look herself when she returned. I do not believe she wishes to see anyone."
"Please." His voice cracked. "I only wish to apologise."
Before Meera could answer, footsteps echoed through the corridor and a Kingsguard approached before bowing respectfully.
"Your Grace."
Valarr turned sharply.
"What is it?"
The impatience in his own voice surprised even him.
"Prince Baelor requests your immediate presence in his chambers."
Valarr frowned. "Tell my father I am unavailable."
The Kingsguard remained perfectly still. "I was given strict instructions that you were to come immediately, Your Grace."
Valarr closed his eyes. For one brief moment, he considered refusing. Then Meera spoke quietly beside him.
"My prince, I think you should attend to your duties." She offered him a sympathetic smile. "I promise you, Lady Stark will not be speaking to anyone tonight."
Those words struck harder than he wished to admit, because he knew the reason for her isolation. He lowered his head before letting out a slow breath.
"If- if you see her," His throat tightened. "Please tell her-" He struggled to force the words out. "Tell her I wish to apologise. And whenever she finds it in her heart to grant me even the smallest amount of forgiveness, I will be waiting."
Meera inclined her head. "I will tell her."
Valarr managed a quiet nod before turning away to follow the Kingsguard. The journey to his father's chambers felt strangely endless. His thoughts refused to settle, every few moments returning to the memory of your lips against his before immediately replacing it with the image of your horrified expression as you ran away.
He knocked softly.
"Come in." His father's voice came from the other side.
Valarr straightened himself as best he could before opening the door. Prince Baelor stood near the fireplace with several letters in his hands while Princess Jena sat comfortably upon one of the chairs nearby.
Valarr bowed. "Father. Mother."
Jena smiled the moment she saw him, though her expression softened almost immediately.
"My sweet boy, you look troubled?"
Valarr forced himself to smile. "It is nothing, Mother."
He turned towards his father. "You wished to see me?"
Prince Baelor folded the letter in his hand before looking up.
"Yes."
He motioned for Valarr to come closer before taking a seat beside his wife.
"I believe it is time we accomplish what we came North to do."
Valarr felt something tighten in his chest.
"I also believe," Baelor continued, "that we have already overstayed Lord Stark's hospitality. Especially after everything that transpired yesterday." He sighed quietly. "I do not wish to burden him any longer."
"What do you mean, Father?"
Jena smiled warmly beside her husband. "What your father means..." She reached over to squeeze Baelor's hand. "...is that it is finally time to offer the betrothal."
Valarr felt his heartbeat stop.
"Lady Berena is intelligent, graceful, and carries herself exactly as one would expect from a future queen," Prince Baelor continued. "She possesses every quality worthy of becoming the future Lady of the Red Keep."
The words blurred together, Valarr scarcely heard another sentence. His breathing grew shallow and his chest tightened painfully.
The thought of marrying Berena after what had happened in the Godswood made him feel ill. Not because Berena lacked anything. But because she was not you.
His hands curled into fists at his sides. He lowered his gaze to the floor as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes.
He had to tell them. He had to tell them that somewhere between your laughter, your stubbornness, your sword, and the quiet evenings beneath the heart tree, he had fallen hopelessly in love with you.
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. The words lodged themselves somewhere between his heart and his throat, refusing to leave him. His thoughts spiralled until he felt lightheaded, as though the room itself had begun to spin around him.
Then, he heard your name, and his head snapped upwards. Prince Baelor was already watching him. Not with confusion or disappointment, but with an expression Valarr could not quite place.
"Lord Stark's eldest daughter." His father spoke your title slowly, almost thoughtfully. "She is not what many in the southern court would expect a lady to be."
Valarr's heart began hammering.
"She is not soft-spoken." Baelor smiled faintly. "She does not embroider, nor spend her days composing songs."
A small chuckle escaped Princess Jena beside him. "I have heard she once broke a northern lord's nose during training."
Valarr blinked confusingly and his father continued as though he had not spoken at all.
"Many would say she is not ladylike enough." He paused. "I disagree."
Baelor stepped closer until only a single pace separated father and son, and his eyes softened. "A woman who understands diplomacy as well as warfare, who commands respect without demanding it, and who would gladly place herself between danger and those under her protection..."
He smiled proudly.
"That is exactly the sort of queen the realm ought to have."
Valarr felt his ears burn. His heartbeat became so loud he was certain both of his parents could hear it.
Hope. Silly little hope. It bloomed inside his chest so suddenly it almost hurt. If there truly was even the smallest chance, if he could marry you...He would thank the Seven every day for the rest of his life.
Baelor regarded him quietly for another moment before stepping forward. He lifted a hand and rested it gently against Valarr's cheek, just as he had done ever since Valarr had been a little boy frightened by storms.
"And she may not be what the Red Keep expects or wants," Baelor said softly. His thumb brushed against Valarr's cheek with quiet affection.
"But, my son..." A knowing smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "I believe she is exactly what you need."
Valarr stared at him and he felt something warm bloom inside his chest. A feeling he had thought he had lost the moment you ran from him in the Godswood, and the moment his father had started talking about betrothal.
But as quickly as it had come, the memory of your horrified expression returned, dulling that warmth once more. If there truly was a future where he could stand beside you, then he first had to earn the right to stand before you again.
Did it ever occur to you that C&H most likely told Emma that Daemyra isnât as important as Rhaesaria and/or Rhaenicent?
They are being professional by sticking to what will be show canon, we already know Rhaenicent is endgame.
Itâs honestly coming off as homophobic the way everyoneâs attacking Emma.
They most likely did tell Emma that, anon. I have never said otherwise. But what exactly is your point?
If C&H told Emma that Daemyra is less important than Rhaesaria or Rhaenicent, that does not magically make the interviews professional. It just proves the larger problem: the people involved are promoting a version of the story that is being bent away from the source material and toward whatever relationship dynamic the writers personally prefer.
Also, criticism is not homophobia. This needs to be said slowly now, apparently. đ
Disliking what Emma says in interviews is not homophobic. Criticizing how an actor talks about canon relationships is not homophobic. Thinking the show is forcing Rhaenicent or Rhaesaria at the expense of the actual story is not homophobic. You cannot just throw that word at every person who does not agree with your preferred interpretation and expect it to work like a holy spell.
When someone immediately jumps to âhomophobiaâ instead of making an actual argument, I usually assume they either do not understand the criticism or cannot answer it. Because the issue is not âqueer relationships bad.â The issue is âthis writing makes no sense, damages the characters, ignores the source material, and keeps treating interviews like damage control for weak storytelling.â
And people have been far worse to Olivia for years, but that never seems to inspire the same moral panic. Funny how that works, anon.
Emma gets criticized for what they say in interviews and suddenly everyone needs to be accused of bigotry. Olivia gets dragged constantly and that is just fandom weather. đ
This is not about homophobia. This is about bad adaptation, bad promotion, and a fandom that keeps using identity as a shield because it has no actual defense for the writing.
summary: your insecurities are screaming at you to forget him, meanwhile beau has other plans.
You stared at your phone for exactly two minutes before doing yourself a favor and locking it, not even bothering to answer. With a heavy sigh, you turned your attention back to the book resting in your lap.
It was Friday nightâone of the most dangerous times of the week for a college student on campus. There were parties in almost every frat house and sorority. Girls dressed to the nines, guys hoping for a quick fuck, and students everywhere getting drunk and making bad decisions.
You, on the other hand, had made the conscious choice to stay in.
Because youâre boring. At least, thatâs what they all call you: the boring, shy one who somehow managed to catch the eye of Briar Universityâs famous quarterback, Beau Maxwell.
Honestly, even you have to ask yourself: What does he see in you? Why is he with you? Why does he insist on spending time with you, studying with you, and listening to your silences?
It simply isnât in your nature to spout absolute nonsense just to keep the spotlight on yourself. Yet, somehow, Beau's attention remains entirely fixated on you.
And now, a wave of guilt washes over you for not even considering giving him a reply.
Beau <3: Where are you? Are you coming, baby?
Your heart squeezes painfully.
You know you should tell him that, despite his wishes, you aren't going to show up. You never do. Itâs truly isn't your cup of tea.
You couldn't be more different from Beau if you tried; where he is a total social butterfly and the football teamâs star quarterback, born to shine, you prefer the quiet.
So, really, why does he bother? Does he truly want something from you that he can't find in anyone else? Is it just because you're "not like the others"? Does your boring personality somehow balance out his popular self?
It could be a good thing, but not when your insecurities scream a hundred times louder than your confidence or your faith in him.
It sucks, leaving a dull, physical ache in your chest. Deep down, you feel like he deserves so much more than you're capable of giving.
So, you choose to leave him hanging. You ignore the next three texts that make your phone buzz, going as far as to flip your phone onto Do Not Disturb.
You close your eyes, wishing only to sleep away the pain.
â-
"Dean was so wasted he took a nap right on the beer pong table while the guys kept playing over him," Hannah laughed, finishing her recap of Friday night's events.
You offer a smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes.
"Seriously, Beau really missed you," she continued, making your heart skip a beat. "He got completely wasted and kept fake crying because you weren't there. Though honestly, I'm pretty sure the tears were real. You've got that man totally whipped, girl," Hannah teased.
"You're bluffing," you reply awkwardly.
"Nah, if Dean hadn't been so wasted, he would've teased him off. Garrett saw the whole thing and ended up having to do it for him. He even took a picture of him hugging a bottle of whiskey while crying. Look," Hannah said, pulling out her phone to show you the screen.
Sure enough, Beau looks completely gone.
The sight should make you laugh, but instead, it sends a wave of crushing guilt through your chest.
"Is that me?" a smooth, male voice calls out, making you jump slightly.
Before you can turn around, Beau places a warm hand on your waist, pulling you back against his chest. "Hi, gorgeous," he whispers into your ear, a sudden blush creeping up your cheeks.
Hannah smirks, entirely unbothered. "Hi, Beau! I was just showing Y/N this picture of exactly how pussy whipped you are."
âDamn straight,â he says as he plants a kiss on your cheek.
"Okay, lovebirds, I've gotta go. See you later, alligator!" Hannah waved as she turned and headed toward the main building, leaving you and Beau behind.
He stepped directly in front of you, his hands settling firmly on your hips.
God, he was beautiful.
He had dark eyes the exact color of dark chocolate. You had told him that once, and he'd just laughed. He fully believed your love for dark chocolate had multiplied solely because of him, which gave him the perfect excuse to act like a smug motherfucker whenever he bought you some. Heâd hand over the bar with a cocky grin, saying, "Your favorite, from your favorite."
The memory made your heart clench with a painful ache. You really didn't deserve someone like him.
"I missed you over the weekend," Beau said, offering an easy smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He reached up to brush a stray lock of hair away from your face, his fingertips delicately tracing the line of your ear, cheek, and jaw.
You kept your mouth shut. If you spoke, youâd only admit that you missed him tooâand how could you miss someone you felt you never truly had? It was completely irrational.
"Let's get to class," you murmured instead.
Beau looked down at you for a long moment, searching your face for something. What exactly, you couldn't tell. But after a beat, he simply nodded, intertwined his fingers with yours, and walked you to class.
â-
Avoiding Beau was becoming harder by the day.
At first, it was easy to blame your absence on upcoming exams. You genuinely needed to study, since they contributed heavily to your final grade. When that excuse ran out, you used girls' nights with Hannah and Allie, or faked a massive migraine that felt like it was threatening to tear your head apart.
But maintaining the distance was getting difficult, mostly because Beau was just so damn understanding.
He knew your studies were important to you, and that you hadn't come to college just to fuck around and find out. He knew how much you loved spending time with the girls, and how much you looked forward to any rare free night the three of you could manage to pull together.
To make yourself feel better, you tried to convince yourself that he was just as busy as you were. And he wasâbusy with football and giving interviews where the press constantly praised him to the nines. Busy getting into shenanigans with the boys, especially Dean. He was consumed by grueling training sessions, meal prepping according to his strict diet, and still somehow finding the time to sit down and study.
Heâs smart.
But his intelligence was exactly what made your plan unsustainable. Sooner or later, he was going to pick up on your behavior. You just didn't know how much time you had left before he did.
â-
Beau: Can I see you?
Beau: I miss you.
Beau: I haven't seen you all week, and your responses dry as hell.
Beau: What's going on?
Beau: Please, talk to me.
â-
"What's going on with Beau?" Allie asked, her eyes narrowing as she confronted you.
"What do you mean?" you deflected, avoiding her gaze.
"You've been completely avoiding him, and he looks like a lost puppy."
"No, he doesn't."
"Yes, he does, Y/N/N," Allie countered firmly. "He even went around asking everyone for help because you won't say a single word to him. He's scared shitless that he did something wrong. He asked Dean, Garrett, the whole football team, us, and honestly, I think he even asked his coach. Maybe Jensen, too. So, what is really going on?"
"Nothing."
"Cut the bullshit," Allie sighed, softening her tone slightly but refusing to let you off the hook. "Something obviously happened, and right now, you're leading him on. He feels completely lost, Y/N."
You kept your mouth shut, staring down at your hands.
"Look, I don't know what goes on behind closed doors," Allie said gently, placing a hand on your shoulder. "I don't know if your relationship is going to make it or not. But considering how sad and confused Beau looks, I donât think he wants to let you go. And the worst part? You look just as miserable as he does. So do yourself a favor, stop running, and just talk to him."
Thatâs how you found yourself at the front door where Beau lives with the football guys.
But even Allieâs words werenât enough to give you the strength you needed.
Sure, you just stood there, staring at the heavy wooden door as if it had personally wronged you. When in reality, you were the one who had wronged Beau.
He truly didn't deserve you. He didn't deserve the heartache you were about to cause himâor the heartache you had already inflicted over the past week. You knew you deserved his anger and his disappointment, and you couldn't blame anyone for this mess but yourself. You knew you had to step back and let him go; otherwise, the guilt would eat you alive, that you hold him back from his true potential.
Just a few days ago, you had overheard one of the popular girls talking about him as if he were a prize to win.
In a sense, he was. But knowing that didn't soothe the ache in your chest. It only made it worse, because you knew deep down that you weren't the one who had won him. It would never be you.
"Are you going to stand out there all night, or do you want to come in?"
The sudden voice called down from above, right outside Beauâs bedroom window. You snapped your gaze upward, and Beau was indeed looking down at you, but there was no warm smile waiting for you, no familiar crinkles around the corners of his eyes. There was nothing but neutral, distant lines carved into his handsome face.
You swallowed hard, a lump forming in your throat. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," he replied flatly. He ducked back inside his room, not even bothering to come downstairs to unlock the front door for you.
With a heavy sigh, you reached out and turned the knob. The door swung open without restraint. It was a terrible, unsafe habit of hisâone you had scolded him for countless times in the past.
Guess old habits die hard.
You made your way upstairs, offering a tight nod to the few boys lingering in the living room. They returned the greeting with heavy, unreadable looks that made you want to shrink into yourself. You approached Beau's room. His door was cracked open, and you pushed it back carefully, stepping inside.
The space was a disasterâclothes were strewn everywhere, and textbooks lay haphazardly open with crumpled pages. Strangely, his bed was neatly made, as if it had been smoothed over just seconds before you walked in.
But it was Beau himself who drew your eyes. He was dressed in a pair of sweats you rarely saw him wear and an old, faded shirt riddled with holesâone he stubbornly refused to throw away because it had history.
"Hi," you murmured, your voice small and fragile. Your fingers tightly gripped the hem of your shirt.
"You done hiding?" Beau asked. He didn't move from his spot, his arms crossed tightly over his broad chest in a closed-off posture.
"IâŚ" You started, but the words immediately caught in your throat.
He looked devastatingly lost. Though a flicker of his usual warmth remained deep within his dark eyes, he was watching you like a puzzle he was desperate to solve.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, looking down at your shoes to avoid his piercing gaze.
He let out a bitter snort.
"For what, exactly?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly. He took a step toward you, his jaw tight. "For giving me zero heads-up when you decided to avoid me? For making me completely lose my mind over you? For leaving me entirely in the dark because you thought it was a good idea to just leave me hanging? For making a fool out of myself while I sat around convinced you'd come around? For making me believe you actually still want me?"
He kept asking and asking, his words hitting you like physical blows until your vision blurred with tears. You blinked rapidly, trying to swallow down the sob rising in your throat.
"I do want you, Beau! That's the whole problem!" you confessed, the outburst tearing from your chest as you finally looked up, your shoulders trembling.
His expression instantly soured, his brows furrowing deep. "You're making it really hard to believe you right now."
"And you make it hard to believe you!" you shot back, wrapping your arms around your own middle as if trying to shield yourself from the pain.
"What are you talking about?"
"Why do you want me, Beau?" your voice cracked, a tear finally escaping and tracing down your cheek. You gestured vaguely between the two of you with a trembling hand. "Why do you want to be with me when you could get anyone else? Why is it me you want to spend all your time with, when I can't even give you what you need?"
Beau froze, his arms dropping to his sides. "What?"
"I can't give you what you need," you repeated, your voice dropping to a broken whisper as you looked away, unable to hold his gaze. You shifted your weight uncomfortably, feeling entirely exposed. "I can't give you fun, because I'm not fun. I can't give you what you're looking for."
"And what exactly am I looking for?" Beau demanded, stepping directly into your personal space, his chest heaving as he waited for your response.
You pressed your lips into a thin line, staring at his chest, completely silent.
"You don't know what I want," Beau said, his voice dropping into a fierce, frustrated register. He closed the remaining distance between you, his shadow completely engulfing yours. "You don't know because you won't even let me show you."
You flinched, taking a step back. You shook your head wildly, your hands bunching into tight fists at your sides as you tried to hold your ground. "You don't have to show me anything when I already know exactly what I lack!"
"Goddamn it! Please, just listen to me, alright?!" Beau exploded, the raw emotion in his voice making you jump. He threw his hands up in utter exasperation before running them hard through his hair, gripping the strands as he stared at you with a mix of fierce love and absolute desperation.
"Iâve loved you since the exact moment you put Dean in his place," Beau said, his voice dropping to a rough, vulnerable whisper. He reached out, his fingers hovering just inches from your arms, desperately wanting to touch you but holding back.
"I love the way you don't fake who you are just to get me to like you back. I love the way you hold yourself, how ambitious you are, and how you're so full of plans for your future. You let me see the real you, and you never apologize for it."
Your breath hitched in your throat.
"You make me calm," Beau continued, taking that final step to close the distance, his eyes burning into yours. "You let me be just meânot some hotshot quarterback. You never cared about any of that hype, and you always just saw me as Beau. I am truly, irrevocably in love with you. There isn't anything that I wouldnât do for you.â
"But your life is so much brighter than mine," you cried out, your voice cracking as you pressed the heels of your hands against your eyes, trying to block out the sheer intensity of his gaze. "The fame, the girls, the money, the parties, the awardsâ"
"None of it compares to you," Beau interrupted fiercely. He caught your wrists, gently but firmly pulling your hands away from your face so you were forced to look at him. "It doesnât mean a damn thing if I donât have you by my side."
You shook your head, a bitter sob escaping your lips as you tried to pull out of his grip. "You donât mean that."
"Hell, Iâd propose to you right now if I had a ring," he vowed, his thumbs soothing over the racing pulse in your wrists.
"Shut up," you whispered, your heart hammering violently against your ribs as your chest heaved.
"No. Iâll never shut up about you."
"Weâre too different from each other, Beau," you pleaded, your voice dropping to a broken, desperate whisper. You let your forehead drop against his chest, completely exhausted from fighting your own mind.
"But thatâs the beauty of it, isnât it?" he murmured.
Silence stretched through the room, heavy and thick, broken only by the sound of your quiet, trembling breaths against his chest. Beau wrapped his arms securely around your waist, pulling you flush against him, anchoring you to him completely.
"Believe me," he whispered into your hair, his voice thick with a sudden rush of raw emotion. "Youâre all I want. Youâre all I need. Iâve never felt this way about anyone before, and I donât ever want it to stop. I love you.â
"Please donât shut me out," Beau pleaded quietly, his voice cracking as he cradled your face in his large, warm hands. His thumbs gently wiped away the tear tracks on your cheeks, forcing you to look up into his deeply sincere eyes. "Let me know what's going on in that pretty head of yours, baby. Let me know if you have doubts, insecurities, anything. I wanna help. I wanna make you feel good. I wanna be there for you."
You let out a shaky breath, leaning into his touch as the last of your defenses completely crumbled. Your hands came up to grasp his forearms, feeling the solid, grounding warmth of him. "Iâm sorry for the way I acted."
"Itâs okay. I understand," he murmured, leaning down to press a soft, lingering kiss against your forehead. "But please, don't push me away. Weâre in this together, right?"
"Yeah," you whispered, a genuine, relieved smile finally tugging at the corners of your lips.
"Good." Beau let out a low, breathless laugh, the tense lines on his handsome face finally melting away into pure relief. He pulled you even closer by your waist, his eyes dropping to your lips. "Now, gimme a proper kiss and tell me about your dayâor your week. I missed you so much, I seriously thought I was going to die."
⥠summary: A hangover, a pair of gloves, and an unfortunate encounter in the corridors of Winterfell. Somewhere between awkward apologies and shared laughter, titles are forgotten.
⥠word count: 3.1k
⥠tropes: slow burn, he fell first and harder, hurt-comfort, No use of y/n, no physical description of reader, reader is a badass and can fight, reader and valarr are adults.
⥠warnings: afab reader, slight misogny, mentions of death, cursing, reader has a direwolf, no beta read.
⥠a/n: i hope you enjoy the chapter. Thank you for reading. We might have an early chapter update on tuesday because i have already written it and it only needs polishing. :)
Chapter 5
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The first thing you felt as you tried to open your eyes was the pounding in your head. The second was someone knocking on your door.
You groaned and pulled the furs over your head, burying your face deeper into the pillow. One hand came up to press against your temple, as if that might somehow stop the throbbing.
"My lady, please open the door. It's-" Meera's voice drifted through the wood.
"Begone. I need sleep," you called back miserably, burying your face in the pillow as the knocking only intensified.
You let out a groan. But before you could muster another complaint, a familiar voice boomed through the door.
"If you do not open this door this instant, not only will you be grounded for a moon, but I shall forbid you from leaving this castle for a week."
You were out of bed before she finished speaking. The room spun slightly as your feet hit the floor. The ale had been a mistake, the throbbing in your head intensying with each passing moment.
You practically lunged for the door and yanked it open.
"Mother. Good morrow." You said attempting a smile. Though it felt more like a grimace.
From the corner of your eye, you noticed Meera and Layla standing behind your mother. Both women looked as though they wished to be anywhere else.
Your mother pushed past you without a word, and the door shut firmly behind her.
You swallowed as her gaze settled on you. If looks could kill, Winterfell would be preparing your funeral.
"I was about to wake up, I swea-"
"Where were you last night?"
The question cut straight through your excuse, and you straightened slightly.
"I was here. In my chambers. Where else would I be?"
Your mother's eyebrow arched as she let out a huff of breath. "So you went to sleep in commoner's clothes and a ragged cloak?"
Your eyes widened as looked down, and found yourself still dressed in yesterday's clothes. Probably too tired and drunk to change out of them last night. You mentally cursed yourself.
"Mother, I can expla-"
"DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL?"
You physically winced. The volume alone nearly split your skull. And outside the door, the entire corridor could probably hear every word.
"Sneaking out in the middle of the night," your mother continued, "and to a tavern of all places!"
"I didn't go to a tav-"
"I can smell the ale from where I stand." She said as her glare sharpened, and you wished the floor would swallow you whole.
"Have you lost your mind?" she demanded. "Did you truly think I would not know?"
"Mother, please just listen-"
"No." The single word struck harder than any shout. Ever could. Her voice sharp, practically dripping anger. "Not today."
She stepped closer.
"A Stark lady sneaking out in the middle of the night. Do you have any idea what the consequences would have been if someone saw you? The damage it would bring not only to your honour, but to the honour of this family?"
You remained where you stood. Your jaw clenched and eyes fixed stubbornly on the floor.
"The Old Gods help me." Your mother's hand dragged across her face. "Did you even stop to think what the royals would make of this?"
"I do not care for their opinions."
The words left your mouth before you could stop them.
"What?"
"I said I do not care for their opinions."
Your mother's laugh held no amusement as a bitter smile touched her lips.
"Of course you don't. You have never cared much for anyone's opinion apart from your own."
The words stung more than they should. Not because they were true, but because part of you feared they might be.
"But have you considered Berena?" your mother continued. "Or Alyssane?"
You opened your mouth, but immediately snapped it shut as your mother raised a hand in warning.
"You do not wish to marry. Fine,' her voice trembled slightly. "So be it."
You hated hearing that disappointment, hated it more because you knew she tried so hard to hide it.
"But do not ruin your sisters' chances because of your actions. The talks with the Targaryens are going well," your mother said. "And if the Old Gods are willing, Berena may soon be betrothed to the heir to the heir."
And then her eyes met yours.
"Do you understand what your actions could cost us? What they could cost Berena?"
You wanted to argue. Wanted to tell her that your actions does not matter, that Berena deserved better than being bartered away for politics.
But the words died before they reached your tongue. Because tears had begun gathering in your mother's eyes, and suddenly the argument no longer felt worth having.
"I have bent to your wishes your entire life," she said, her voice softening. "Not because I wished to. Because your father asked me to."
Your chest tightened at that, your hands formed a fist as you dig your nails in your palms.
"I am your mother." A shaky breath escaped her. "I could never wish harm upon you."
For the first time since entering the room, her anger seemed to crack.
"I know you wish for the freedoms William enjoys." Her words were a whisper now, as she looked away briefly, "But I cannot give them to you. Not because I do not wish to."
And when she looked back, there was nothing but fear in her eyes.
"But because I am afraid. You may be a warrior."
Her voice broke.
"But you are not immortal."
Your throat tightened, and then she spoke the words you dreaded most.
"I have already lost one child... I do not wish to lose another."
You closed your eyes, and for a moment, you were no longer standing in your chambers. You were staring at snow stained red and lifeless grey eyes of Donner.
"If I discover you sneaking out again," your mother said quietly, "it will not end as easily as it is ending today."
You could only nod. Your mother stood there for another moment, before her expression hardened once more.
"Get dressed." She said as she moved toward the door. "I expect you at breakfast."
She left, leaving you standing in the middle of the room. The headache still lingered and the smell of ale still clung to your clothes.
But neither felt nearly as unbearable as the ache now sitting in your chest. An emotion clawed its way up your throat that you could not name, as your hands started shaking beside you.
You sat at the breakfast table and rubbed your temple for what felt like the hundredth time that morning. After your mother had left your chambers, you had decided not to test her patience any further. You had dressed as quickly as possible, endured Meera's knowing looks, and made your way toward the Great Hall before your mother could send someone to drag you there herself.
The hall was already bustling with life. Servants moved between tables carrying platters piled high with bread and eggs.
Normally, you would have found comfort in the familiar chaos. Today it only made your head hurt worse.
You and William occupied the far end of the Stark table, tucked away from most of the guests. Your mother had suggested it after one look at your face.
So you would not make a fool of yourself before the royal family. You had accepted almost immediately.
Now you sat staring at your breakfast, the lemon cake on your plate remained untouched as you pushed it around with your fork.
"If you do not wish to eat it," William said beside you, "pass me your lemon cake."
You turned your head slowly toward him. Your brother was happily devouring his third helping of eggs as if he had not spent half the previous night drinking enough ale to drown a horse. You narrowed your eyes.
"You are insufferable."
"Yet handsome."
You sighed and shoved the plate toward him.
"Here. Take it."
William accepted the offering immediately and added it beside his own untouched slice, though you doubt it would remain untouched for long.
The headache lingering behind your eyes had thoroughly ruined your appetite.
"Is it because your prince is not here?" William asked casually.
Your brows furrowed, "What?"
"I said," William repeated, far too innocently, "is it because the handsome Prince Valarr is not here?"
Your eyes widened, and you immediately looked toward the royal table.
The prince's chair sat empty. Not that you had noticed.
William's grin widened. Gods curse him.
"Hold your tongue, brother."
"Well," William continued, completely ignoring you, "I was not the one who spent nearly the entire night talking to him."
You glared.
"And I am certainly not the one who glanced at his empty chair the moment i entered the Hall."
"I did not do that."
"You did."
"No."
"Yes."
"I never thought I would see that expression on your face."
The back of your neck began to burn. You did not know what expression he meant, nor did you particularly wish to.
"He was merely the only company available," you muttered, leaning closer so nobody else could hear.
To which William only hummed. The sort of hum that meant he believed absolutely none of what you had just said.
"Uh-huh."
You resisted the urge to throw your fork at him.
"Is that why you gave him your gloves?"
"What?"
William froze and then a slow grin spread across his face. The kind of grin that usually preceded disaster.
"Oh."
Your stomach dropped.
"Oh, this is wonderful."
"William."
"You do not remember."
A horrible realization settled in your chest. You remembered drinking, music and laughter. After that? You do not remember a thing.
"William."
His grin somehow widened further.
"When we were sneaking back into the castle," he said, barely containing his amusement, "you noticed his hands were freezing. And you practically shoved your gloves into the poor prince's chest and told him he would lose his fingers if he kept standing around like an idiot."
You stared at him as horror slowly crept across your face, burning the tups of ears red. And William burst into laughter.
The moment breakfast ended, you were out of your chair and moving through the castle.
Where?
You did not know. You simply needed to get away before William found another opportunity to torment you. The corridors of Winterfell blurred around you as you walked. Servants passed carrying baskets of laundry while guards exchanged greetings near the staircases. Usually, you would have paid attention to your surroundings.
Today your thoughts were elsewhere. You had given Prince Valarr your gloves while drunk. Though it might not be a big deal, but the way William had suggested it, you had practically forced the prince to take it.
You could only hope he had forgotten about it. Or better yet, that he had been too drunk himself to remember.
The Old Gods, however, seemed determined to mock you, because the moment you rounded the corner, your shoulder collided with something solid.
Strong hands immediately settled on your shoulders, steadying you before you could stumble backwards.
"I apologize. Are you-"
You recognized the voice before you even looked up, and your stomach dropped. Slowly, your gaze lifted, and Prince Valarr's mismatched eyes stared back at you.
One blue eye. One brown.
Both slightly widened as if he had not expected to run into you either.
Prince Valarr stood before you, looking far more put together than any man had the right to this early in the morning. His brown hair had been neatly combed back, the pale streak running through it shining beneath the sunlight, as some its unruly strands falling on his forehead. He was dressed in a dark doublet embroidered with silver, he looked every bit the prince Alyssane liked to sing about.
For a brief moment, neither of you spoke. Then you both took a step back at the exact same time.
"Oh."
"Oh."
The words left your mouths together, and heat immediately crawled up your neck. Valarr cleared his throat first, his own ears were beginning to turn red.
"My lady," he greeted.
"My prince."
A painful silence followed right after as you tried to even your breathing. Hands cluchting the pommel of your sword out of habit.
Valarr looked away first, his gaze dropping toward something in his hands.
When you looked down to see for yourself, your stomach lurched, it was your gloves. The familiar leather pair rested neatly folded between his fingers.
"I wished to return these."
He held them out towards you as you stared at them. Then at him, and then back at the gloves. The embarrassment returned with twice the force and you accepted them immediately. Your fingers slightly brushed his, and you felt your breath hitching.
"Thank you."
Valarr nodded, the silence somehow became worse. And you swallowed a nervous lump in your throat before opening your mouth.
"My prince, about last night-"
"There is no need."
Valarr offered you a small smile, though you can clearly see it was a nervous one. he sort of smile that looked as though he had rehearsed it several times before finding the courage to use it.
"You were only trying to help me." His fingers tightened briefly around the fur lining of his cloak. "And i was rather cold."
A huff of laughter escaped you despite yourself, "I was talking about dragging you with me."
You looked at him, and Valarr looked away immediately afterwards, a faint flush creeping across his pale skin, "Oh, its alright. I did not mind. I think it was a nice distraction. I appreciated it."
Something in your chest loosened. The awkward knot that had been there all morning easing slightly.
"Then I suppose I shall not apologize."
"I suppose not."
The corner of his lips twitched upward. And before you could stop yourself, the question escaped your mouth.
"Why were you not at breakfast?"
The words hung between you, and you wished for the old gods to take your life right there.
Why had you asked that?
Heat flooded your face immediately, and Valarr looked just as surprised as you felt. His eyes blinking at a rapid pace.
Then a reluctant smile pulled at his lips.
"I had a hangover."
You stared at him. The young prince looked almost offended by his own confession. A laugh escaped you before you could stop it and Valarr laughed alongside you.
Valarr laughed alongside you.
It was a quiet sound, warm enough to chase away the chill lingering in the corridor. His mismatched eyes brightened, crinkling at the corners, and a small dimple appeared on his right cheek.
You had never noticed it before, and you found yourself staring before the realization struck.
Heat crawled up your neck and you quickly looked away, your gaze dropping to the stone floor before the prince could catch you looking.
"Makes sense," you said immediately.
The smile on his face widened slightly as he nodded in return. Then Valarr tilted his head slightly.
"And where were you rushing off to in such a hurry?"
Your brows furrowed when you answered.
"I was merely walking."
"Hmmm"
"What?"
You narrowed your eyes, when you see the prince trying not to laugh.
"My prince."
Valarr's lips twitched, "You are not planning to sneak out of the castle again in the middle of the day, are you?"
A startled laugh escaped you. The sound echoed softly through the corridor as you shook your head and scratched the back of your neck.
"Only on special occasions."
Valarr let out a quiet laugh.
"A relief."
"Why?"
"Because if you were sneaking off again, I fear I might become an accomplice." Valarr's lips twitched upward. "And this time, I cannot even claim it was accidental."
That earned another laugh from you. And for the first time since you had collided with him, the tension between you finally began to disappear.
At least a little.
Though the way Valarr's gaze lingered on your smile suggested he might have forgotten where he was for a moment.
And the sudden flush that returned to his face suggested he had realized it too. You smiled and took a small step backwards.
"I should take my leave now, my prince."
Valarr nodded almost immediately. "Of course."
You turned to leave but stopped in your tracks.
"Valarr." He said from behind you.
Your brows furrowed as you looked back over your shoulder. The prince looked almost surprised by his own interruption.
He stood there, one hand still resting awkwardly against the folds of his cloak.
"You can call me Valarr."
The words came out more hesitant than you expected. A faint flush crept across his face almost immediately.
"If you are comfortable with it, of course," he added quickly. "I only thought that...well..." He cleared his throat befkre continuing.
And you couldnt help but admire how adorable he looked.
"Since we have shared ale, we are friends. And friends generally do not address one another by titles...but of course, im not forcing you or anything, it was merely a suggestio-"
"Only if you call me by my name, my prince."
The words left your mouth before you could stop them. You did not know why you had said them. Perhaps it was because calling him Valarr felt unfair if he continued calling you "my lady."
Oe perhaps it was because something inside you wanted to hear your name on his lips. Whatever the reason, it was too late to take it back now.
A flicker of surprise crossed Valarr's face. Then he quickly recovered and gave a small nod.
"Very well."
The silence stretched between you two. Both of you waiting for the other to speak. But then he said your name. So softly as if he was murmuring a prayer.
As though testing it, turning it over carefully and seeing how it sounded.
Your name had never sounded particularly special before. Yet hearing it spoken in his voice made something strange twist in your chest.
Valarr seemed equally affected, and a faint smile pulled at the corner of his lips. As if he had decided he liked the sound of it.
You had been called by your name your entire life. So why did it suddenly feel different? You quickly looked away before he could notice the warmth spreading across your face.
"Well," you cleared your throat, "if you will excuse me..."
You offered him a small bow.
"Valarr."
The smile that appeared on his face then was small, entirely too pleased. And that only made the heat in your cheeks worsen.
You turned on your heel immediately and retreated down the corridor before he could notice the tips of your ears turning red.
Behind you, Valarr remained standing exactly where you had left him as watched you disappear around the corner.
And if he repeated your name quietly to himself once you were gone-
Summary (implied spoilers for The Score): you stop on a dark highway for a stranger you have never met. He wakes up days later not knowing your name. What follows is a love story that starts with blood-stained scrubs, a neck brace, and the single worst pickup line ever delivered in an ICU. Aka ⌠the fix-it fic where Beau lives
Warnings: descriptions of a car accident and critical injuries
The night stretches cold and endless along Route 2, the kind of February darkness that settles into your bones. Youâre driving on autopilot, your mind still churning through pharmacokinetics and drug interactions, when the world explodes into motion ahead of you.
Metal screeches. Glass shatters. A black SUV careens off the road, spinning once, twice, before slamming into a massive oak with a sound that punches through the quiet night.
Your foot hits the brake before your brain catches up. Your car fishtails slightly on the slick road before coming to a stop thirty feet from the wreckage. For exactly three seconds, you sit there, hands still gripping the steering wheel, heart hammering against your ribs.
Then youâre moving.
You grab your phone, your emergency kit from the trunk â thank god for your motherâs paranoia â and run toward the smoking vehicle. The smell hits you first: gasoline, burnt rubber, something metallic that might be blood.
âHello?â Your voice comes out steadier than you feel. âCan anyone hear me?â
A groan from the driverâs side. You circle around, your boots crunching on broken glass and scattered debris. The driverâs door hangs open at an odd angle. A man in his fifties sits slumped against the steering wheel, a gash above his eyebrow bleeding sluggishly.
âSir? Sir, can you hear me?â
His eyes flutter open. Blue eyes. Dazed but focusing. âIâwhat happened? Whereâs-â His head jerks toward the passenger side, and pure terror floods his face. âBeau! BEAU!â
He tries to unbuckle his seatbelt, but you put a hand on his shoulder. âSir, please donât move. You might be injured-â
âMy son!â He shoves your hand away, stronger than he looks. âMy son is in the passenger seat!â
Ice floods your veins. You circle to the other side of the vehicle, and thatâs when you see him.
The passenger door is crumpled inward, the metal twisted like paper. The window is completely gone. And in the seat, surrounded by a spider web of cracks in whatâs left of the windshield, is a young man about your age.
Thereâs so much blood.
âOh god,â you whisper. Then louder, forcing yourself into action: âIâm calling 911 right now!â
Your fingers shake as you dial, but your voice comes out clear when the operator answers.
â911, whatâs your emergency?â
âMotor vehicle collision, Route 2 westbound, approximately two miles past the Lexington exit. Two victims. Driver appears stable with minor head trauma, but passenger has severe injuries-â Youâre moving as you talk, assessing with your eyes what you canât yet touch. âPossible cervical spine injury, significant hemorrhaging from upper extremity, penetrating chest trauma. We need paramedics and ALS immediately.â
âMaâam, are you a medical professional?â
âSecond-year medical student. I have BLS and Stop the Bleed certification.â
âParamedics are en route. ETA eight minutes. Can you provide care until they arrive?â
âYes.â You set the phone down, speaker on, and force yourself to breathe. Eight minutes. You can do eight minutes.
You turn back to the passenger. The father is now standing beside you, swaying slightly.
âSir, I need you to sit down-â
âThatâs my son.â His voice breaks. âPlease, you have to help him. Please.â
âI will. But I need you to sit down before you fall down. Can you do that for me?â
He nods shakily and lowers himself to the ground, never taking his eyes off his son.
You lean into the destroyed passenger compartment, and your medical training wars with your human instinct to panic. The young man â Beau, his father called him â is unconscious. His head lolls at an angle that makes your stomach drop. Not a natural angle. Not even close.
âOkay,â you mutter to yourself. âOkay, think. C-spine precautions. Donât move him unless heâs in immediate danger.â
But he is in immediate danger. You can see it in the way his neck bends, the way his head threatens to fall further forward. If his cervical spine isnât already severed, any more movement could do it.
You look around frantically. The car is stable. No fire. But you need to stabilize his neck now.
Your emergency kit. You dump it on the ground, hands moving fast, grabbing the rolled-up fleece blanket your mom insisted you carry. You carefully roll it into a tight cylinder and maneuver it around Beauâs neck, trying to provide support without moving him any more than absolutely necessary.
âTalk to me,â you call to the father. âWhatâs his name? Full name?â
âBeau. Beau Maxwell.â The manâs voice is thin with shock. âHeâs twenty-two. Heâs healthy, no medical conditions, no allergies. Heâsâgod, heâs the quarterback. He has a game next week. He has-â
âOkay, Mr. Maxwell, thatâs good, thatâs helpful.â Youâre assessing as he talks. The makeshift cervical collar is in place. Now the bleeding. âI need you to keep talking to me. Tell me what happened.â
âA deer. There was a deer in the road, and I swerved, and-â His voice cracks again. âI felt the ice. I felt us sliding. I couldnât stop it.â
Youâre barely listening now, all your attention on Beauâs arm. Thereâs a shard of glass â thick, wickedly sharp â embedded in his right bicep. Blood pulses around it in rhythmic spurts. Arterial. Brachial artery, most likely.
âFuck,â you breathe. âDispatch, update â patient has arterial hemorrhage from upper extremity. Iâm applying a tourniquet now.â
Your coat. Youâre already shaking from the cold, but you strip off your heavy winter coat without hesitation. You need fabric, need pressure, need to stop the bleeding before he loses any more blood.
The glass shard is still embedded. Leave it or take it out? You run through your training in microseconds. In the field, with no surgical backup, no way to clamp the artery â leave it. But you need pressure above and below.
You wrap your coat around his upper arm, using the sleeves to tie it as tight as you can manage. Your fingers are already going numb, but you pull harder, watching the rhythmic spurting slow to a steady seep. Not perfect, but better.
Youâre about to check his other injuries when you see it: a thick branch, maybe three inches in diameter, has punched through the windshield and embedded itself in Beauâs chest. Just left of center. Through the sternum, or maybe just missing it. Either way, itâs deep.
Your hands hover over it, trembling. Every instinct screams at you to pull it out, but you know that branch is the only thing preventing him from bleeding out right now. If itâs hit any major vessels, removing it without a surgical team standing by would kill him.
âPlease,â Mr. Maxwell says from behind you. âPlease tell me heâs going to be okay.â
You donât answer. You canât. Instead, you lean back slightly, taking in Beauâs face for the first time.
Even like this â pale, covered in blood, unconscious â heâs striking. Dark hair matted against his forehead, strong jaw, features that would be more at home on a movie screen than a car wreck. Thereâs a cut above his eyebrow, minor compared to everything else, and his lips are slightly parted, each breath shallow and labored.
You find yourself reaching out, your fingers â cold and blood-stained â brushing against his cheek.
âHey,â you whisper. âBeau. I know you canât hear me, but I need you to hold on, okay? Help is coming. Just hold on.â
His skin is cooling rapidly in the February air. You grab the emergency blanket from your kit with your free hand and drape it over as much of him as you can without disturbing the branch or the makeshift collar.
âSix minutes out,â the dispatcher says through your phone speaker.
Six minutes. Six minutes for his brain to be without adequate oxygen if his breathing gets any worse. Six minutes for that branch to shift. Six minutes for his neck to-
No. You push the thoughts away.
âMr. Maxwell, is anyone else hurt? Was anyone else in the car?â
âNo. Just us. We were coming back from dinner. In the city. His grandmotherâs birthday.â The man is crying now, quietly. âI told him Iâd drive so he could relax. Have a few drinks. I told him-â
âThis wasnât your fault,â you say firmly. âThe deer, the ice â this wasnât your fault.â
You check Beauâs pulse again. Thready. Too fast. Shock, almost certainly. Blood loss, head trauma, possible internal injuries â the list spirals in your mind.
âHis pupils,â Mr. Maxwell says suddenly. âShouldnât you check his pupils?â
You should. You know you should. But part of you is terrified of what youâll find. Unequal pupils would mean increased intracranial pressure, brain herniation, things you cannot fix on the side of a dark highway.
Still, you pull out your phone flashlight and gently lift one of Beauâs eyelids.
Blue. His eyes are the same startling blue as his fatherâs, even closed like this. You shine the light across. The pupil constricts. Sluggish, but it constricts. You check the other side. The same.
âEqual and reactive,â you report to dispatch, relief flooding through you. âSluggish but responsive.â
âParamedics are three minutes out,â the dispatcher responds.
Three minutes. You can see lights in the distance now, hear the wail of sirens cutting through the night.
You check the tourniquet again â still holding. Check his breathing â still shallow but present. Your hand finds its way back to his face, and you realize youâre talking to him, a steady stream of words youâll never remember later.
âTheyâre almost here. Youâre doing great. Just keep breathing, okay? Keep breathing.â
Behind you, Mr. Maxwell is on his own phone now, his voice breaking as he talks to someone. His wife, probably. Telling her something no parent should ever have to say.
The ambulance screams to a stop, and suddenly there are people everywhere. Paramedics in dark blue, moving with practiced efficiency.
âWeâve got him, maâam. Weâve got him.â
But you donât move. Not until one of them â a woman with kind eyes and gray-streaked hair â gently touches your shoulder.
âYou did good,â she says. âReally good. But we need you to step back now so we can work.â
You stumble backward, and Mr. Maxwell is there, catching your elbow.
âWhat do we have?â the lead paramedic asks.
Your voice comes out steadier than you feel. âTwenty-two-year-old male, restrained passenger in head-on collision with tree. Patient found unconscious, significant cervical spine angulation â Iâve placed a soft collar for support. Penetrating trauma to chest, large foreign object still in situ. Arterial hemorrhage from right upper extremity, tourniquet applied. Pupils equal and reactive but sluggish. Respirations shallow, approximately 20 per minute. Pulse thready at approximately 120. Obvious signs of shock.â
The paramedicâs eyebrows raise slightly. âYou a doctor?â
âMed student. Second year.â
âWell, med student, you probably saved his life.â Sheâs already moving, her team swarming around Beau with practiced precision. C-collar. Backboard. IV access. They work with a choreography born of countless traumas.
You watch as they carefully extract him from the vehicle, maintaining spinal precautions, keeping the branch stable. Watch as they load him onto the stretcher. Watch as they cut away his blood-soaked shirt, revealing more of the damage underneath.
âWeâre taking him to Mass General,â one of the paramedics calls out. âTrauma one.â
âIâm riding with him,â Mr. Maxwell says, but heâs swaying again, and now that the adrenaline is fading, you can see heâs not as okay as he first appeared.
âSir, you need to be evaluated too,â another paramedic says, approaching with a second gurney. âWeâll take you both.â
âBut-â
âWeâve got him, sir. Weâve got your son.â
You watch as they load Mr. Maxwell into a second ambulance. Watch as both vehicles pull away, sirens wailing, lights painting the dark road in red and blue.
Then itâs just you, standing on the side of Route 2 in just your scrubs and thin long-sleeve shirt, shivering violently as the adrenaline finally crashes. A police officer is talking to you â when did the police arrive? â asking questions you answer automatically.
Your coat is gone. Still wrapped around Beau Maxwellâs arm, probably being cut off by the trauma team right now. Your emergency kit is scattered across the asphalt. Your hands are stained rusty brown with blood.
âMiss?â The officer touches your shoulder. âMiss, are you okay? Do you need medical attention?â
âIâm fine,â you hear yourself say. âIâm fine.â
But youâre not fine. Youâre shaking so hard your teeth chatter. Your mind keeps replaying the angle of Beauâs neck, the branch in his chest, the feel of his cooling skin under your fingers.
The officer wraps a shock blanket around your shoulders and guides you to sit in your car, heater blasting. Heâs still asking questions â your name, your address, what you saw. You answer them all, but part of you is still on that roadside, watching Beauâs chest rise and fall in shallow, struggling breaths.
âYouâre a hero, you know,â the officer says after heâs finished taking your statement. âThat young man â you probably saved his life.â
You nod numbly. All you can think is but what if it wasnât enough?
The officer helps you collect your scattered supplies, guides you through the process of leaving the scene. Your car is fine. Youâre fine. Everything is fine.
Except itâs not.
As you drive home, your hands wonât stop shaking on the wheel. You keep seeing Beauâs face, keep feeling the cold of his skin, keep hearing Mr. Maxwellâs broken voice. Thatâs my son. Please, you have to help him.
You make it to your apartment building, into your unit, into your bathroom before you finally break down. You sit on the cold tile floor, still in your blood-stained scrubs, and sob.
Because youâve spent two years studying medicine, learning about trauma and emergency care, practicing on mannequins and in simulations. But nothing prepared you for the reality of holding someoneâs life in your hands while their blood soaks into your coat and their father begs you to save them.
Nothing prepared you for looking into the face of a dying stranger and desperately, irrationally, needing him to survive.
You cry until you have no tears left, until the shaking finally subsides, until you can breathe without feeling like your chest is caving in. You peel off your ruined scrubs, scrub the blood from your hands, and sit on your couch in the dark.
Then you pull up Google on your phone, your hands steadier now, and type in a name. Beau Maxwell.
The results flood your screen. Articles about football, highlight reels, statistics. Briar Universityâs star quarterback. Twenty-two years old. Junior year. Dark hair, blue eyes, a smile that could sell toothpaste. Projected first-round NFL draft pick.
You scroll through image after image of him â in uniform, in interviews, at press conferences. Healthy. Whole. So full of life it seems impossible that just an hour ago you were watching him bleed out on a dark highway.
You close your phone and lean your head back against the couch, staring at your ceiling in the darkness.
âPlease,â you whisper to no one, to everyone, to whatever forces govern life and death. âPlease let him be okay.â
Outside your window, Boston sleeps on, unaware. Somewhere across the city, in Mass Generalâs trauma bay, a team of surgeons fights to save the life of a quarterback youâve never met but will never forget.
All you can do is wait.
And hope.
And pray that your desperate, fumbling first aid was enough to give him a chance.
***
The weight room smells like sweat and rubber, the familiar clang of metal on metal providing a rhythm Dean has known since he was twelve. Itâs barely seven in the morning, but heâs already on his third set of deadlifts, Garrett spotting him while Logan and Tucker argue about last nightâs game on the bench press across the room.
âIâm just saying,â Tucker calls over, âif youâd passed to me in the third period instead of trying to be a hero-â
âIf Iâd passed to you, you wouldâve whiffed it like you did in the second,â Logan fires back.
âFuck off, I was screened-â
âYou were too busy checking out that blonde in the third row-â
Dean tunes them out, focusing on his form. Up. Hold. Down. Controlled. His phone sits on the bench beside his water bottle, face down. It buzzes once â probably his mom checking if heâs coming home this weekend â but he ignores it.
Heâs pulling the bar up for his fourth rep when the phone starts ringing. Properly ringing, not just buzzing. The specific ringtone that means itâs someone from his favorites list.
âDude, your phone,â Garrett says.
Dean sets the bar down carefully and picks up the phone, expecting to see his momâs contact photo. Instead, itâs Coach Jensen.
At seven in the morning.
On a Saturday.
âThatâs weird,â Dean mutters, answering. âCoach? Everything okay?â
Thereâs a pause. Too long. Deanâs stomach does something uncomfortable.
âDi Laurentis.â Coach Jensenâs voice is careful in a way Dean has never heard before. Careful like heâs handling glass. âWhere are you right now?â
âWeight room. With the guys. Whatâs going on?â
Another pause. Dean can hear something in the background â voices, maybe a TV.
âIs Garrett there? Logan? Tucker?â
âYeah, theyâre all here. Coach, what-â
âI need you to sit down, son.â
The weight room goes very quiet. Dean realizes his teammates have stopped talking and are now watching him. He doesnât sit down.
âWhat happened?â
Coach Jensen takes a breath. Dean can hear it through the phone. âI got a call this morning from Coach Deluca. He called because he knows a lot of our guys are friends with players on his team.â
Deanâs hand tightens on the phone. âOkay?â
âItâs about Beau Maxwell.â
The world tilts slightly. âWhat about him?â
âThere was an accident last night. A car accident. Dean, heâs-â Coach Jensenâs voice catches. âHeâs in critical condition at Mass General. His father was driving them back from dinner in the city, and they hit ice, crashed into a tree. His dadâs okay, but Beau-â
Dean doesnât hear the rest. The phone slips from his hand, clattering against the concrete floor. The sound echoes, distant and wrong, like itâs coming from underwater.
Beau.
Critical condition.
The words donât make sense. They canât make sense. Because Dean just saw Beau yesterday. They grabbed lunch between classes, argued about whether the Packers or the Patriots were going to make it to the playoffs, made plans to hit up a party tonight. Beau was fine. Beau was fine.
âDean?â Garrettâs hand is on his shoulder. âDean, whatâs wrong?â
Dean opens his mouth but nothing comes out. His knees feel strange, like they might not hold him. The weight room spins slightly, or maybe heâs spinning, he canât tell.
âShit, heâs going down-â Thatâs Logan, suddenly on his other side, propping him up.
Tucker grabs the phone from the floor. Dean watches him lift it to his ear, watches his face go pale as he listens to whatever Coach Jensen is saying.
âItâs Beau.â Tuckerâs voice sounds hollow. âHeâsâthere was a car accident. Heâs in critical condition.â
The words hit the room like a physical force. Garrettâs hand tightens on Deanâs shoulder. Logan makes a sound like heâs been punched.
Dean still canât breathe right. Canât think right. Critical condition. That means bad. That means really bad. That means-
No. No, heâs not going there.
âWe need to go,â Dean hears himself say. His voice sounds far away. âWe need to go to the hospital.â
âDean, maybe we should-â Garrett starts.
âNow.â Dean pulls away from his friends, stumbling slightly. His legs feel like water. âWeâre going now.â
âOkay,â Logan says quickly. âOkay, yeah. My carâs out front. Letâs go.â
Dean doesnât remember the walk to the parking lot. Doesnât remember climbing into Loganâs beat-up pickup. One minute heâs in the weight room, and the next heâs in the back seat, Tucker beside him, watching the familiar streets of Boston blur past the window.
Garrett is in the passenger seat, on his phone. âYeah, Wellsy, itâsâyeah, itâs really bad. Weâre going to Mass General now. Can youâyeah. Thanks, baby.â
The city passes in a haze. Dean stares out the window without seeing anything. His mind keeps trying to process the information and failing. Beau. Car accident. Critical condition.
Theyâre brothers. Not by blood, but by choice, which Dean has always thought means more.Â
Beau is the guy who stayed up with Dean all night when his grandfather died, never saying much, just being there. The guy who taught Dean how to throw a spiral when some girl Dean was into invited him to throw a football around. The guy who knows Deanâs coffee order and brings him one without being asked when heâs had a rough day.
Beau is his brother.
And Dean doesnât know what heâll do if-
No. Stop. Donât think it.
âWeâre here,â Logan announces, pulling into the hospital parking garage with slightly too much speed.
They practically fall out of the truck, running for the entrance. The hospital is massive, gleaming glass and steel, and Dean has no idea where to go.
âTrauma wing,â Tucker pants, pulling out his phone. âCoach sent me directions. This way.â
They follow him through automatic doors, past a reception desk, down a hallway that smells like antiseptic and fear. Deanâs heart is pounding so hard he can hear it in his ears. His workout clothes are still damp with sweat. He should have changed. Why didnât he change?
They round a corner, and Dean sees them.
The waiting room is full of Maxwells.
Beauâs mom, Debbie, sits in one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs, her face buried in her hands. Beauâs dad is standing by the window, a white bandage visible above his eyebrow. Beauâs grandmother is there too, being comforted by what looks like Beauâs aunt. There are others Dean recognizes from family gatherings and football games, all wearing the same expression of shock and grief.
They all look up as four hockey players in workout gear burst into the waiting room.
His momlâs eyes land on Dean, and her face crumbles.
âDean,â she chokes out, and then sheâs standing, crossing the room in three steps, pulling him into her arms.
Sheâs shaking. Or maybe heâs shaking. He canât tell anymore.
âIâm so sorry,â sheâs saying into his shoulder. âIâm so sorry, honey, I know you twoâI know-â
Thatâs what breaks him.
Dean Di Laurentis, who prides himself on being smooth, charming, always in control, shatters. His knees give out, and if Beauâs mom wasnât holding him up, heâd be on the floor. A sob tears out of his throat, raw and ugly and completely beyond his control.
âIâve got you,â she whispers, even though sheâs the one who should be comforted, even though itâs her son in critical condition. âIâve got you, sweetheart.â
Dean can feel his teammates behind him â Loganâs hand on his back, Garrettâs voice saying something he canât make out. But mostly he feels the weight of grief trying to crush him, the terror of possibly losing the person who knows him better than anyone.
âWhat happened?â He manages to gasp out. âCoach saidâbut he didnâtâwhat happened?â
Debbie pulls back, her hands still on his shoulders. Her eyes are red-rimmed and swollen. âYou should tell them.â
Beauâs dad turns from the window. He looks like heâs aged ten years overnight. The bandage above his eyebrow is stark white against his pale skin.
âWe were driving back from dinner,â he says, his voice rough. âIn the city. For my motherâs birthday. It was late, almost midnight. I was driving because Beau had a few drinks. We were justâwe were talking about the game next week. About his classes. Normal stuff.â
He stops, his jaw working. Beauâs grandmother reaches over and takes his hand.
âThere was a deer,â Beauâs dad continues. âIt came out of nowhere. I swerved, and the roadâthere was black ice. I felt the car start to slide, and I couldnâtâI tried to correct, but we just kept sliding. We hit a tree. Driverâs side hit first, then passenger side slammed into it.â
Deanâs stomach churns. He can picture it too clearly.
âI woke up a few seconds later. I was okay, just disoriented. But Beau-â Beauâs father takes a moment to gather himself. âHe wasnât moving. There was blood everywhere. And then this young woman appeared. Out of nowhere. Sheâd seen the crash and stopped.â
âShe called 911,â Beauâs mom picks up the story, her voice steadier than her husbandâs. âShe was a medical student. Sheâgod, the paramedics said she saved his life. She stabilized his neck, stopped the worst of the bleeding, kept him alive until they could get there.â
âWhat are his injuries?â Garrett asks quietly. Heâs moved to stand beside Dean, solid and steady.
Beauâs dad closes his eyes. âCervical spine trauma. The paramedics said his neck was bent at an angle that should have killed him. Should have severed his spinal cord. But this girl, she somehow stabilized it. Kept it from snapping completely.â
Dean tastes bile. He swallows hard.
âHe also had a penetrating chest wound,â Beauâs dqd continues. âA tree branch went through the windshield and-â He makes a gesture toward his own sternum. âShe knew not to pull it out. Knew it was the only thing keeping him from bleeding out.â
âAnd his arm,â Beauâs mom adds, wiping her eyes. âSevere laceration from broken glass. She used her own coat as a tourniquet.â
The waiting room is silent except for the buzz of fluorescent lights and the distant beep of monitors.
âIs he going to be okay?â Tucker asks. His voice is small, younger than Dean has ever heard it.
âTheyâve been in surgery for four hours,â Beauâs mom says. âWe donât know yet. They said-â Her voice wavers. âThey said the next few days are critical. That even if he survives the surgery, there could be complications. Infection. Brain damage from oxygen deprivation. Paralysis.â
âNo.â The word comes out sharp, definitive. Dean doesnât realize heâs the one who said it until everyone looks at him. âNo, thatâs notâBeauâs going to be fine. He has to be fine. Heâs-â
He canât finish the sentence. Canât articulate what Beau means, what a world without him would look like. Canât.
âWeâre praying, honey,â Beauâs mom says softly. âThatâs all we can do right now.â
Dean wants to scream that prayer isnât enough. That there has to be something, anything, they can do. But he just nods, swallowing against the lump in his throat.
More people arrive over the next hour. Beauâs teammates, guys from the football team who Dean knows from parties and the occasional shared class. They fill the waiting room with whispered conversations and shell-shocked expressions. A few of them break down crying. Most just sit in stunned silence.
Dean ends up in one of the plastic chairs, his head in his hands. Logan sits on one side, Garrett on the other. Tucker paces by the window, unable to sit still.
âHeâs going to make it,â Logan says quietly. âYou know Beau. Stubborn as hell. Heâs not going anywhere.â
Dean wants to believe that. Wants to believe that sheer force of will can overcome arterial bleeding and spinal trauma. But heâs seen enough hockey injuries to know that sometimes will isnât enough.
âDid you know,â Dean says suddenly, his voice hoarse, âthat his first word was âballâ? He told me that freshman year. Not âmamaâ or âdada.â âBall.â His parents said he was obsessed with any kind of ball from the time he could sit up. They knew heâd be an athlete before he could walk.â
âYeah?â Garrettâs voice is soft, encouraging.
âAnd he-â Deanâs throat closes up. He forces himself to continue. âHe wants to go pro. Obviously. But after that, he wants to coach. High school kids, specifically. He says college and pro players already have all the resources. He wants to work with kids who might not have anyone believing in them.â
âThat sounds like Beau,â Logan says.
âHeâs going to do it, too,â Dean insists, looking up. âHeâs going to play in the NFL and then coach high school ball and probably turn some underfunded program into a state championship team because thatâs what he does. He sees potential in people and brings it out of them.â
âDean-â Garrett starts.
âI mean it.â Deanâs voice cracks. âThatâs who he is. So he canâtâhe has to-â
The doors to the surgical wing swing open.
The waiting room falls silent immediately. Every head turns. A surgeon walks out, still in his scrubs, pulling off his surgical cap. He looks tired. So tired.
Beauâs parents are on their feet instantly, crossing to meet him. Dean stands too, his teammates flanking him. His heart pounds so hard he thinks it might break through his ribs.
âMr. and Mrs. Maxwell,â the surgeon says. His voice is neutral, professional, impossible to read.
âHow is he?â Beauâs mom asks in barely a whisper. âHowâs my son?â
The surgeon takes a breath. Dean holds his own, feeling like the entire world is balanced on whatever words come next.
âThe surgery was successful,â the surgeon says, and the relief that floods the room is almost tangible. âWeâve stabilized the spinal trauma, repaired the vascular damage to his arm, and removed the foreign object from his chest. The object missed his heart by less than two centimeters. Any further to the right, and-â
He doesnât finish the sentence. He doesnât have to.
âBut heâs alive?â Beauâs dad asks. âHeâs going to live?â
âHeâs alive,â the surgeon confirms. âHeâs in critical condition, and the next seventy-two hours will be crucial. Thereâs still risk of infection, of complications from the spinal trauma. But he made it through surgery, which given the extent of his injuries, is remarkable.â
âCan we see him?â Beauâs mom asks.
âHeâs being moved to the ICU now. You can see him once heâs settled, but heâll be sedated. We need to keep him as still as possible to let the spinal repair begin to heal.â
âHis spine,â Beauâs dad says. âWill heâis there paralysis?â
The surgeonâs expression is carefully neutral. âWe wonât know the full extent of any nerve damage until he wakes up and we can do a thorough neurological assessment. The spinal cord itself wasnât severed, which is extraordinarily fortunate. Whoever stabilized his neck at the scene saved his life and likely saved him from permanent paralysis.â
âThe girl,â Beauâs mom says. âThe medical student. Do you know her name? We want to thank her.â
The surgeon shakes his head. âThe paramedics didnât get her information. Just that she was a Good Samaritan who stopped to help.â
âWe have to find her,â Beauâs mom says, turning to her husband. âWe have to-â
âWe will,â Beauâs dad promises. âWe will.â
The surgeon continues, âI need to be clear with you. Your sonâs injuries were catastrophic. The fact that heâs alive is nothing short of miraculous. But the road ahead is going to be long. Months of recovery, likely. Multiple surgeries. Intensive physical therapy. And there are still no guarantees.â
âBut heâs alive,â Beauâs mom repeats, like itâs a prayer. âHeâs alive.â
âHeâs alive,â the surgeon confirms. âYou should be very proud of him. Heâs a fighter.â
After the surgeon leaves, the waiting room erupts. Quiet at first â no one wants to celebrate when Beau is still critical â but thereâs a shift. From hopeless to hopeful. From grief to cautious relief.
Dean sits down hard, his legs finally giving out completely. He drops his head into his hands, and this time when he cries, itâs different. Still scared, still shaken, but thereâs something else mixed in.
Gratitude.
âHe made it,â Logan says, his own voice thick. âHoly shit, he actually made it.â
âSeventy-two hours,â Tucker says. âThatâs what the doctor said. Three days. He just has to make it three days.â
âHe will,â Garrett says firmly. âYou heard the doc. Beauâs a fighter.â
Dean lifts his head, scrubbing at his face. His eyes feel swollen, his throat raw. He probably looks like hell. He doesnât care.
âI need to see him,â he says. âI need to see him.â
âFamily only in the ICU, probably,â Logan says gently. âAt least at first.â
âI donât care. I need-â Deanâs voice breaks again. âI need to see him.â
Beauâs mom appears in front of him, crouching down so theyâre at eye level. She takes his hands in hers.
âAs soon as they let us bring visitors, youâll be the first,â she promises. âI swear. But right now, I need you to do something for me.â
âAnything.â
âI need you to take care of yourself. Go home, shower, eat something. Because when Beau wakes up â and he will wake up â heâs going to need you strong. Can you do that?â
Dean wants to argue. Wants to plant himself in this waiting room and refuse to move until he can see his brother. But her eyes are pleading, and sheâs asking so little when sheâs going through so much.
âOkay,â he whispers. âOkay, but youâll call me? The second anything changes?â
âThe absolute second,â she promises. âYouâre family, Dean. You know that.â
Family. The word cracks something open in his chest. He pulls Beauâs mom into another hug, holding on tight.
âThank you,â he says. âFor calling me. For letting me know.â
âOh honey,â she says, pulling back to look at him. âThere was never a question. Youâre his brother.â
Dean nods, not trusting himself to speak.
His teammates drive him back to campus in silence. The shock is starting to wear off, leaving exhaustion in its wake. Deanâs muscles ache from his workout, which feels like it happened years ago instead of hours.
They end up on the couch, the four of them, not talking. Just being there. At some point, Tucker orders pizza. At another point, Hannah and Allie show up with half the football team, bringing food and offering quiet support.
Deanâs phone buzzes constantly. Texts from teammates, from friends, from people he hasnât talked to in months, all asking about Beau. He doesnât answer any of them.
Instead, he pulls up his photos. Finds the album labeled âBest Bro.â Hundreds of pictures spanning three years. Beau throwing a touchdown. Beau at a party, arm slung around Deanâs shoulders. Beau asleep in the library during finals week, drooling on his American History textbook. Beau grinning at the camera, blue eyes bright, completely alive.
âHeâs going to be okay,â Dean whispers to the photo. âYouâre going to be okay.â
He has to believe it. Because the alternative â a world without Beauâs terrible jokes and unwavering loyalty and ability to light up any room he walks into â is unthinkable.
His phone buzzes again. Theyâve settled him in the ICU. He looks peaceful. Still sedated. Doctors say next 12 hours are critical. Will update you in the morning. Try to get some sleep, honey. He needs you rested.
Dean stares at the message for a long time. Tell him Iâm here. Tell him his brother is here and waiting for him to wake up.
Dean sets his phone down and leans back against the couch. Around him, his friends have settled into quiet conversation. Someone turned on a movie at some point, something mindless playing on low volume.
But Dean isnât watching. Heâs thinking about a girl heâs never met. A medical student who stopped on a dark highway and saved his brotherâs life. Who thought quickly enough to stabilize Beauâs neck, to stop the bleeding, to give him a fighting chance.
Whoever she is, wherever she is, Dean owes her everything.
âWe have to find her,â he says suddenly.
Garrett looks over. âWho?â
âThe girl. The medical student. She saved him, and she just disappeared. Didnât even leave her name.â
âDude, Boston has like five medical schools,â Logan points out. âThatâs thousands of students.â
âI donât care,â Dean says. His voice is stronger now, steadier. âWeâll check every single one if we have to. But weâre going to find her.â
Because whoever she is, she gave Beau a second chance at life.
And Dean is going to make damn sure she knows how much that means.
***
The world comes back in pieces.
First, thereâs sound â a steady beeping, rhythmic and insistent. Then sensation â something soft beneath him, something constricting around his neck. Then smell â antiseptic, that particular hospital smell thatâs somehow both sterile and cloying at once.
Beau tries to open his eyes, but his eyelids feel like they weigh a thousand pounds.
â-vitals are stable, Mrs. Maxwell. Weâre going to start decreasing the sedation now-â
Thatâs a voice he doesnât recognize. Professional. Clinical.
âHow long until he wakes up?â That voice he knows. Mom. She sounds exhausted.
âIt varies. Could be a few hours. His bodyâs been through significant trauma, so weâre taking it slow.â
Beau wants to tell them heâs right here, that he can hear them, but his mouth wonât cooperate. The darkness pulls him back under.
***
The next time consciousness surfaces, it stays a little longer.
The beeping is still there. But now there are other sounds too â quiet conversation, the rustle of fabric, footsteps in the hallway.
â-told you, you canât give him solid food yet-â Mom again, but this time she sounds amused.
âIâm not giving it to him. Iâm just ⌠having it ready. For when he can.â Dean. Thatâs definitely Dean.
âYou brought Dunkinâ Donuts to a hospital ICU?â
âMunchkins. Theyâre small. It doesnât count.â
Despite everything â the pain starting to register in various parts of his body, the confusion, the way his neck feels completely immobilized â Beau almost smiles.
âBeau?â A different voice. Dad. âBeau, can you hear me?â
He tries to respond. Manages something between a grunt and a groan.
âOh my god.â Momâs voice cracks. âOh my god, heâsâget the nurse. Get the nurse!â
Footsteps. Fast.
Beau forces his eyes open. The light is too bright, everything blurry. He blinks, and slowly the world comes into focus.
White ceiling. Fluorescent lights. The edge of what looks like a massive amount of medical equipment.
âBeau?â Momâs face appears above him, and sheâs crying. âOh, baby. Youâre awake. Youâre really awake.â
âHey, Mom.â His voice comes out as barely a rasp, his throat raw and painful.
âDonât try to move, sweetheart. Your neckâthey had to stabilize your neck. Youâre in a brace.â
That explains the constricting feeling. Beau tries to turn his head instinctively and immediately regrets it as pain shoots through him.
âEasy, easy.â Thatâs a new voice â a nurse, he realizes, as a woman in scrubs appears on his other side. âWelcome back, Mr. Maxwell. Iâm Theresa. Can you tell me your name?â
âBeau Maxwell.â It hurts to talk, but he manages.
âGood. Do you know where you are?â
âHospital.â Duh.
âDo you remember what happened?â
Beau tries to think. His memory is ⌠foggy. Disjointed. âCar. We were in a car. Dad was driving.â He looks around, spotting his father standing near the foot of the bed, bandage still visible on his forehead. âDad. You okay?â
His dad laughs, the sound wet and relieved. âIâm fine, son. Iâm fine. Youâre the one who-â His voice breaks. âYou scared the hell out of us.â
âLanguage,â Mom chides, but sheâs smiling through her tears.
The nurse runs through more questions â what year it is, who the president is, can he feel his fingers and toes. Everything checks out, apparently, because she smiles and says, âLooking good, Mr. Maxwell. The doctor will be by soon to do a full assessment.â
After she leaves, Beau takes stock. He can see Mom and Dad, both looking exhausted and relieved. And there, slouched in a chair by the window, is Dean, holding a Dunkinâ Donuts bag and grinning like an idiot.
âYou look like shit,â Beau rasps.
Dean laughs, and it sounds a little hysterical. âSays the guy in the ICU. Welcome back, man.â
âHow long was I out?â
âTwo and a half days,â Mom says, stroking his hand gently. âThey had you heavily sedated while you healed.â
Two and a half days. Beau processes this slowly. âWhat ⌠what are my injuries?â
His parents exchange a look.
âSon,â Dad starts, âyou hadâit was pretty bad. Cervical spine trauma. They had to operate. And there was a branch, through your chest-â
âAÂ branch?â
âMissed your heart by less than two inches,â Mom says quietly. âAnd your armâthere was a lot of glass. They had to repair the artery.â
Beau stares at the ceiling, trying to reconcile this information with the fact that heâs alive and apparently mostly functional. âHow am I not dead?â
âBecause someone saved you,â Dad says. âThere was a woman, a medical student. She saw the crash happen and stopped to help. She stabilized your neck, stopped the bleeding, kept you alive until the paramedics arrived.â
A medical student. Random Good Samaritan. Beau tries to remember, but thereâs nothing. Just darkness and then waking up here.
âThe surgeon said if she hadnât stabilized your neck, one more wrong movement and-â Mom canât finish the sentence.
âWeâve been trying to find her,â Dean interjects, standing up and moving closer to the bed. âTo thank her. But she didnât leave her name, and the hospital doesnât have her information. Just that she was a medical student who stopped to help.â
âI want to thank her too,â Beau says. His throat is killing him, but this seems important.
âThe police have her contact information from the accident report,â Dad says. âWeâre working on tracking her down. But for now, you need to focus on healing.â
A doctor arrives shortly after, running through a battery of neurological tests. Can Beau move his fingers? Yes. Toes? Yes. Feel pressure on his arms? Legs? Yes, yes. The doctor looks cautiously optimistic.
âThe fact that you have full sensation and motor function is excellent news,â the doctor says. âBut youâre not out of the woods yet. The next few weeks are critical. Any wrong movement could jeopardize the spinal repair.â
âSo Iâm stuck in this neck brace?â
âFor at least eight weeks. And then extensive physical therapy.â
Eight weeks. Beauâs season is over. His entire junior year, gone. He closes his eyes against the wave of disappointment.
âHey.â Deanâs hand lands on his shoulder. âOne step at a time, yeah? Youâre alive. Thatâs what matters.â
Beau nods minutely, the brace making even that small movement awkward.
The rest of the day passes in a blur of doctors, nurses, medications, and family. His grandmother comes by and cries all over him. His aunt brings flowers that the nurses say arenât allowed in ICU but no one has the heart to remove. His uncle brings an embarrassing amount of Packers gear âfor morale.â
Dean never leaves. Heâs a permanent fixture in the chair by the window, occasionally trying to sneak Beau a munchkin when the nurses arenât looking, even though Beau still canât eat solid food.
âDude, stop,â Beau finally says. âYouâre going to get kicked out.â
âWorth it,â Dean says, but he puts the bag away.
Itâs late afternoon on the third day post-accident â technically only a few hours since Beau woke up â when thereâs a knock on the door.
âIf thatâs another neurologist, I swear to god-â Beau starts.
âLanguage,â Mom says automatically, but sheâs already turning toward the door. âCome in!â
The door opens, and everyone looks up expecting another doctor or nurse.
Instead, a young woman steps in.
Sheâs around Beauâs age, maybe a year or two older, wearing jeans and a Harvard hoodie, her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. She looks nervous, clutching a worn messenger bag and hesitating in the doorway like she might bolt at any second.
âIâm sorry,â she says quickly. âI know you probably werenât expecting visitors, but Iâthe reception desk said thatâI asked how the patient from the accident was doing, and they said the medical student who helped at the scene was on the approved visitor list, so I thought-â Sheâs rambling, talking faster with each word. âI can leave. I should probably leave. I just wanted to check-â
âOh my god.â Dad is on his feet. âYouâre her. Youâre the medical student.â
She nods, looking even more uncertain. âIâmâyes. I was the one whoâI saw the accident, and I-â
She doesnât get any further because Dad crosses the room in three strides and wraps her in a hug.
âThank you,â he says, his voice thick. âThank you for saving my son. Thank you, thank you-â
You stand frozen for a second, clearly startled, before awkwardly patting his back. âIâyouâre welcome. I just did what anyone would-â
âNo.â Mom is there now too, and as soon as Dad releases you, she pulls you into an equally tight embrace. âNo, what you did â the surgeon said you saved his life. That if you hadnât stabilized his neck, he wouldnât have made it. You saved our boy.â
Beau watches from the bed, unable to turn his head much but able to see enough. The woman â the medical student who saved him â looks completely overwhelmed, her eyes suspiciously bright.
âIâm just glad heâs okay,â you manage. âIâve been checking the news, looking for updates, but I couldnât find anything, and I was worried-â
âHeâs going to be okay,â Mom assures you, finally releasing you. âThanks to you.â
Then Dean is there, and he pulls you into a hug that actually lifts you off your feet slightly.
âI donât know who you are yet,â Dean says, âbut you saved my brotherâs life, so youâre stuck with me now. Fair warning, Iâm a hugger.â
You laugh, the sound slightly watery. âI can tell.â
âWhatâs your name?â Mom asks, steering you gently toward the bed.
âY/N Y/L/N,â you say. âIâm a second-year at Harvard Med.â
âY/N,â Dad repeats. âThatâs a beautiful name.â
You smile, still looking nervous, and then your eyes land on Beau.
Beau, who has been staring at you since you walked in.
Because holy shit.
Youâre beautiful. Like, devastatingly beautiful. Even in casual clothes with no makeup and looking slightly anxious, youâre the most stunning person Beau has ever seen. Thereâs something about your eyes, warm and genuine, and the way you move, and-
Is this heaven? Did he actually die and this is some kind of afterlife? Because that would explain a lot.
âHi,â you say softly, moving to his bedside. âHow are you feeling?â
âLike I got hit by a tree,â Beau rasps, then immediately winces. âSorry. That wasâIâm apparently still working on the whole talking thing.â
You laugh, and the sound does something strange to his chest. âThe tree definitely won that round. But Iâm so glad to see you awake. When I left the scene, I-â You pause, taking a shaky breath. âI wasnât sure youâd make it. Your injuries were severe.â
âApparently youâre the reason I did make it,â Beau says. He wishes he could sit up properly, look at you without the weird angle the neck brace forces. âThank you. I mean it. Thank you for stopping. For helping.â
âOf course.â You look genuinely confused by the gratitude. âI couldnât just drive past.â
âMost people would have,â Dean interjects. Heâs back in his chair but watching you with open fascination. âMost people wouldâve called 911 and kept going.â
âI had training,â you say simply. âAnd someone needed help. It wasnâtâI mean, I just did what needed to be done.â
âYou did a lot more than that,â Dad says. âThe surgeon told us you stabilized his neck. That you thought quickly enough to prevent further damage. That you used your own coat to stop the bleeding.â
You duck your head, embarrassed. âI had an emergency kit in my car. My momâs paranoid about me driving alone at night. The coat was just the closest thing I had.â
âDid you get it back?â Beau asks. âYour coat?â
âOh.â You blink at him. âNo, IâI assume they had to cut it off you. Itâs fine, though. It was just a coat.â
âJust a coat that saved my life,â Beau says. âAlong with you. So, not really just a coat.â
You smile at him, and Beauâs heart does something complicated in his chest. The monitors beside his bed beep slightly faster, and he desperately hopes no one notices.
âHow are you really feeling?â You ask. âPain levels? Range of motion? Are you experiencing any numbness or tingling?â
âDid you just go into doctor mode?â Dean asks, amused.
âSorry.â You look sheepish. âOccupational hazard. Iâve been worried aboutâI mean, cervical spine injuries are serious, and I was so scared Iâd made the wrong call at the scene-â
âYou made exactly the right call,â Mom assures you. âEvery doctor weâve talked to has said so.â
You nod, but you still look anxious. Beau recognizes the expression â itâs the same one he wears after a bad game, replaying every mistake.
âHey,â he says, waiting until you look at him. âIâm alive. I can move everything. The doctors say Iâm going to make a full recovery. You did good. Better than good. You were amazing.â
You hold his gaze for a moment, and something passes between them. Something Beau canât name but can definitely feel.
âIâm really glad youâre okay,â you finally say, your voice soft.
âMe too,â Beau replies. âThough Iâm pretty sure I have the worst concussion in history because thereâs no way someone as beautiful as you is real.â
Thereâs a beat of silence.
Then Dean bursts out laughing. âOh my god, did you just use a pickup line while in a neck brace in the ICU?â
âItâs not a pickup line if itâs true,â Beau says, not breaking eye contact with you.
Youâre blushing now, a pink tinge spreading across your cheeks. âI think your brain is working just fine,â you manage.
âThatâs what I said!â Dean crows. âThe boyâs got game even half-dead.â
âDean,â Mom says warningly, but sheâs smiling.
You laugh again, shaking your head. âI should probably go. Let you rest. I just wanted to checkâto make sure you were okay.â
âWait,â Beau says quickly. Too quickly. The movement makes pain shoot through his neck, and he grimaces.
You step closer instinctively, your hand hovering near his shoulder. âAre you okay? Should I get a nurse?â
âNo, Iâm fine. I just-â Beau takes as deep a breath as the chest wound allows. âCan I get your number? To, uh, keep you updated on my recovery. Since you saved my life and all.â
Dean makes a noise thatâs probably supposed to be a cough but sounds suspiciously like a laugh.
Youâre definitely blushing now, but youâre smiling too. âSure. Thatâyeah. Let me write it down.â
Mom, bless her, immediately produces a pen and paper.
You write quickly, your handwriting surprisingly neat, and hand the paper to Beau. âText me anytime. I mean it. I want to know how youâre doing.â
âI will,â Beau promises. He wishes he could take the paper himself, but his arm is still heavily bandaged and moving it is a production. Dean takes it for him, setting it on the bedside table with a knowing smirk.
You linger for another moment, looking like you want to say something else. Finally, you speak. âYou know, I have to tell you something.â
âYeah?â
âIâm a Harvard fan,â you say, and thereâs a hint of mischief in your eyes now. âWhich means Iâm technically rooting against Briar. So you need to make a full recovery so we can beat you fair and square next season.â
Beau stares at you. Then he laughs, the sound rough and painful but genuine. âYou save my life and then threaten to destroy me on the field?â
âNot a threat,â you say cheerfully. âA promise. Weâre coming for that championship.â
âI love her,â Dean announces. âBeau, I love her. Can we keep her?â
âIâm working on it,â Beau mutters, which makes you laugh again.
âOkay, I really do need to go,â you say, backing toward the door. âBut it was wonderful to meet you all. And Beau, heal up fast, okay? The rivalry isnât fun if youâre not playing.â
âYes maâam,â Beau says, giving you a slight salute that his injuries allow.
You wave and slip out the door, closing it softly behind you.
The room is silent for exactly three seconds.
âDude,â Dean says.
âNot now,â Beau replies.
âYou just flirted with your guardian angel.â
âDean-â
âIn the ICU. While in a neck brace. While your parents were standing right there.â
âI was perfectly respectful-â
âYou told her she was too beautiful to be real!â Dean is grinning like the Cheshire cat. âYour game is unreal, man. Iâm actually impressed.â
âYou asked for her number,â Mom says, and she sounds amused too. âThat was certainly ⌠forward of you, sweetheart.â
âI need to thank her properly,â Beau says defensively. âItâs only right.â
âUh-huh,â Dean says. âIs that what weâre calling it?â
âSheâs a Harvard fan,â Beau continues, ignoring him. âWhich means sheâs smart but has terrible taste in football teams. Someone needs to educate her.â
âSomeone being you?â Dad asks, his lips twitching.
âI mean, I feel like I owe her that much.â
Dean is full-on cackling now. âYouâre going to date the girl who saved your life. Thatâs some romance novel shit right there.â
âIâm notâwe just met. Iâm just going to text her. To say thank you.â
âSure,â Dean says, not even trying to hide his grin. âJust thank you. Nothing else.â
âDean, I swear-â
âBoys,â Mom interrupts, but sheâs smiling. âBeau needs to rest.â
âIâm fine,â Beau insists, even though heâs exhausted just from the conversation.
âYou nearly died three days ago,â Mom says firmly. âYou need rest. Dean, stop riling him up.â
âYes, Mrs. Maxwell,â Dean says dutifully.
After his parents leave to grab dinner, itâs just Beau and Dean in the room. Dean is back in his chair, finally eating the munchkins heâs been carrying around.
âShe was amazing,â Beau says quietly. âNot justâI mean, yeah, sheâs gorgeous. But she saved my life, Dean. She stopped on a highway in the middle of the night and saved my life.â
âI know,â Dean says, and all the teasing is gone from his voice now. âI know, man. We owe her everything.â
âI was so close,â Beau continues. His throat is tight. âDad said my neck ⌠one more movement and that wouldâve been it. And she fixed it. Some random medical student who happened to be driving by.â
âNot random,â Dean says. âRight place, right time. Some people would call that fate.â
âYou believe in fate?â
âI believe in you,â Dean says simply. âAnd I believe youâre here for a reason. So yeah, maybe fate had something to do with putting her on that road at that exact moment.â
Beau thinks about you â your nervous smile, the way you brushed off the gratitude like it was nothing, the competitive spark in your eyes when you mentioned Harvard football.
âI think I was saved by an angel,â he says.
âProbably,â Dean agrees.
âAnd I think Iâm in love.â
Dean nearly chokes on his munchkin. âWhat?â
âIâm in love,â Beau repeats. It sounds insane. It is insane. He just met you twenty minutes ago. But thereâs something â a pull, a connection, something he canât explain.
âBeau, buddy, I say this with love â youâre high as hell on pain meds right now.â
âIâm serious.â
âYou just woke up from a medically induced coma like six hours ago.â
âI know what I feel.â
Dean studies him for a long moment. Then he sighs. âWell, shit. You really mean it.â
âI really mean it.â
âYouâre going to marry the girl who saved your life, arenât you?â
âIf sheâll have me,â Beau says, completely serious.
Dean shakes his head, but heâs smiling. âThis is either the most romantic thing Iâve ever witnessed or the pain meds talking. Iâm not sure which.â
âMaybe both,â Beau admits. âBut I donât care. Iâm going to thank her properly. And then Iâm going to get to know her. And then-â
âThen youâre going to sweep her off her feet and ride off into the sunset?â
âSomething like that.â
âSheâs a Harvard fan,â Dean points out. âYou know thatâs going to be a problem.â
âIâll convert her.â
âShe literally told you she is waiting for Harvard to beat you.â
âSheâs competitive. I like that.â
Dean laughs, shaking his head. âYouâre insane. But okay. Iâm here for it. Team Beau and his angel.â
âHer name is Y/N.â
âThat doesnât have the same ring to it.â
Beau doesnât care. Heâs already thinking about what to text you. How to thank you properly. How to convince you that stopping on that highway was the beginning of something, not just an isolated act of heroism.
His body is broken. His season is over. His recovery is going to be long and painful.
But for the first time since waking up, Beau feels hopeful.
Because somewhere out there is a girl who saved his life.
And heâs going to spend his recovery figuring out how to deserve her.
âDean?â He says.
âYeah?â
âHelp me figure out what to text her.â
Dean grins. âNow weâre talking.â
They spend the next hour crafting the perfect message, with Dean offering increasingly ridiculous suggestions that Beau keeps vetoing. By the time visiting hours end and Dean is forced to leave, theyâve settled on something simple and genuine.
After Dean leaves, Beau stares at the piece of paper with your number, at your neat handwriting, and allows himself to smile.
Three days ago, his life nearly ended on a dark highway.
Today, looking at your number, it feels like itâs just beginning.
***
The physical therapy room smells like sweat and determination, which Beau has decided is just a nicer way of saying it smells like pain.
âFive more, Maxwell,â his PT says in that annoyingly cheerful voice that all physical therapists seem to possess. âYouâve got this.â
Beau grits his teeth and pulls himself up on the bar, his neck muscles screaming in protest. Four months ago, he couldnât lift his head off the pillow. Three months ago, he couldnât walk without assistance. Two months ago, he couldnât turn his head more than thirty degrees.
Now, heâs doing pull-ups.
âOne,â he grunts.
âGood. Keep that form.â
âTwo.â
âBreathe through it.â
âThree.â
âTwo more. Youâve got it.â
âFour.â His arms are shaking.
âLast one. Make it count.â
Beau pulls himself up one final time, holding at the top for a three-count before lowering himself down. His muscles feel like jelly, but heâs grinning.
âHell yeah!â His PT claps him on the shoulder. âThatâs what Iâm talking about. Four months ago, you were in a neck brace wondering if youâd ever play again. Look at you now.â
âSo I can play?â Beau asks hopefully.
âNice try. Thatâs a question for your surgeon and your coach, not me. But I will say, physically youâre progressing faster than anyone expected.â
Itâs not a yes, but Beau will take it.
After the session, he checks his phone. Seventeen texts in the group chat with the guys, mostly Dean sending increasingly absurd memes. Three texts from his mom checking in. One from Coach Deluca asking about his PT progress.
And one from you.
Y/N:Â How was PT? Did he make you cry today?
Beau smiles, typing back quickly.
Beau:Â Only a little. Mostly manly tears of triumph though.
Y/N:Â Sure. I believe you. Completely.
Beau:Â I did five pull-ups.
Y/N:Â FIVE? Beau, thatâs amazing! Iâm so proud of you!
Beau:Â Thanks. Couldnât have done it without my guardian angel believing in me.
Y/N:Â Stop calling me that. Iâm just a person who happened to be in the right place.
Beau:Â A person with a hero complex and really good instincts under pressure. AKA an angel.
Y/N:Â Youâre impossible.
Beau:Â You love it.
Thereâs a pause.
Y/N:Â Maybe a little.
Beauâs grin widens. Over the past four months, texting you has become his favorite part of recovery. You check in daily, asking about his PT sessions, his pain levels, his progress. You send him terrible medical jokes. You quiz him on anatomy when youâre studying, claiming heâs helping you prepare for exams when really heâs just learning more about the exact ways his body almost failed him.
Youâre funny and smart and competitive and kind, and Beau is more convinced every day that heâs in love with you.
The only problem? Youâre still treating him like a patient. A friend, yes, but a friend you saved, which apparently puts him in some kind of off-limits category in your mind.
Heâs been trying to change that. Slowly. Carefully.
Not carefully enough, according to Dean, who keeps telling him to âjust ask her out already, you coward.â
But Beau wants to do this right. You saved his life. You deserve more than some half-assed attempt at romance from a guy who still canât turn his head all the way without wincing.
His phone buzzes again.
Dean:Â Emergency. Get to the house ASAP.
Beau:Â Whatâs wrong?
Dean:Â Just get here. Itâs important.
Beauâs heart kicks up. Dean doesnât do âemergencyâ unless something is actually wrong. He grabs his bag and heads out, making the drive back to campus in record time.
He bursts through the door of the house he shares with Dean and half the hockey team, expecting â he doesnât know what. Fire? Flood? Someone dying?
Instead, he finds Dean standing in the living room surrounded by streamers, balloons, and a banner that reads I LIVED, BITCH.
âSurprise!â Dean spreads his arms wide, grinning. âWeâre throwing you a party.â
Beau stares. âYou said it was an emergency.â
âIt is an emergency. Youâve been back on campus for a week and we havenât properly celebrated your return from the dead.â
âI wasnât dead.â
âYou were close enough that it counts.â Dean starts hanging more streamers. âPartyâs tonight. Eight PM. Everyoneâs invited.â
âEveryone?â
âThe team. The guys. Some of the football players. Allie and her friends. That kid from your econ class who kept asking about you-â
âDean-â
âAnd Y/N.â
Beau freezes. âWhat?â
Deanâs grin turns shit-eating. âI invited Y/N. She said yes, by the way. Sheâll be here around nine.â
âYou invitedâwithout asking me-â
âYouâve been texting her for months and havenât made a move. Iâm helping.â
âBy ambushing me?â
âBy creating the perfect opportunity.â Dean hangs the last streamer and steps back to admire his work. âCome on, man. Party atmosphere, some drinks, you finally see her in person again â itâs romantic.â
âItâs manipulative.â
âItâs efficient.â Dean throws an arm around Beauâs shoulders. âTrust me. This is going to be great.â
***
The party is, objectively, insane.
By nine PM, the house is packed. Music thumps through the speakers. Someone has set up a beer pong table. Tucker is already three drinks in and teaching a group of freshmen the rules of some drinking game that definitely doesnât have any rules.
Beau is nursing a beer and trying not to look at the door every five seconds.
âDude, relax,â Logan says, appearing at his elbow. âSheâll be here.â
âIâm relaxed.â
âYou look like youâre about to throw up.â
âThatâs just my face.â
âThatâs not your face. I know your face. This is your âIâm freaking outâ face.â
Garrett joins them, holding two beers. âIs he doing the thing where he stares at the door?â
âHeâs doing the thing,â Logan confirms.
âI hate both of you,â Beau mutters.
âYou love us,â Garrett says cheerfully. âAnd you love Y/N, which is why youâre doing the door-staring thing.â
âI donâtâweâre friends.â
âRight,â Logan says. âFriends who text every day.â
âFriends who have inside jokes,â Garrett adds.
âFriends who he calls his guardian angel-â
âOkay, yes, fine, I like her.â Beau takes a long pull from his beer. âHappy?â
âEcstatic,â Dean says, materializing out of nowhere. âAnd youâre going to tell her tonight.â
âIâm not-â
âYou are. Because life is short, Beau. You nearly died. You got a second chance. Are you really going to waste it being chicken about asking out the girl who saved you?â
Beau opens his mouth to argue. Then closes it. Because damn it, Dean has a point.
âWhat if she says no?â He asks quietly.
âThen she says no,â Dean says. âBut what if she says yes?â
Before Beau can respond, the front door opens.
And there you are.
Youâre wearing jeans and a simple black top, your hair down instead of in the ponytail you usually wear, and Beau forgets how to breathe.
âSheâs here,â Logan whispers unnecessarily.
âI can see that,â Beau hisses back.
You spot them and wave, smiling as you make your way through the crowd. Allie intercepts you halfway, pulling you into a hug and saying something that makes you laugh.
âGo talk to her,â Dean says, giving Beau a shove.
âI am talking to her.â
âYouâre standing here like a statue. Go.â
Beau takes a breath and crosses the room. You look up as he approaches, and your smile gets wider.
âHey!â You say, and then youâre hugging him. Itâs brief, casual, but Beauâs heart still does something stupid in his chest. âI canât believe Dean threw you an I Lived, Bitch party.â
âI can,â Beau says. âSubtlety isnât really his thing.â
âI brought you something.â You dig in your bag and pull out a small wrapped package. âI was going to give it to you later, but here.â
Beau takes it, curious. âYou didnât have to get me anything.â
âJust open it.â
He unwraps it carefully. Inside is a keychain â a small football with the Briar University logo engraved on it and proof that miracles happen on the other side.
Beau stares at it, his throat tight. âY/N-â
âI know itâs cheesy,â you say quickly. âBut I saw it at this little shop near campus and thought of you. Because you are a miracle. You know that, right? The odds of you surviving what you survived, of recovering the way you have-â
âHey.â Beau sets the keychain carefully on the nearest table and takes your hand. âThank you. Really. This isâitâs perfect.â
You squeeze his hand, and for a moment, itâs just the two of you in the crowded room.
Then Deanâs voice booms over the music. âEVERYONE! CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?â
The music cuts off. Everyone turns to look at Dean, whoâs standing on the coffee table with a beer raised.
âOh no,â Beau mutters.
âOh no,â you echo, but youâre smiling.
âThree months ago,â Dean announces, âmy best friend nearly died. Car crash, black ice, the whole dramatic scene. And while I was sitting in a hospital waiting room having a complete breakdown, there was someone else on a dark highway saving his life.â
The crowd is silent, watching.
âY/N Y/L/N,â Dean continues, finding you in the crowd. âStand up. Come on, donât be shy.â
You look mortified. âDean-â
âStand up!â
Reluctantly, you stand. The crowd turns to look at you.
âThis woman,â Dean says, âstopped on the side of the road in the middle of the night. Couldâve driven past. Couldâve just called 911 and left. But she didnât. She stopped. She used her medical training to stabilize Beauâs neck, to stop the bleeding, to keep him alive until the paramedics arrived. The surgeon told us that if she hadnât done what she did, Beau would have died at the scene.â
Beau can see your eyes are shiny. His are probably the same.
âSo this party isnât just about Beau living, though thatâs obviously the main event,â Dean continues. âItâs about Y/N. About the fact that there are still people in the world who stop to help strangers. Who run toward danger instead of away from it. Who save lives because itâs the right thing to do.â
He raises his beer higher. âTo Y/N. Beauâs guardian angel. The reason we still have our quarterback. The reason I still have my brother.â
âTO Y/N!â The crowd roars.
Youâre definitely crying now, wiping at your eyes with your free hand. Beau pulls you into a hug, and you bury your face in his shoulder.
âI hate your best friend,â you mumble into his shirt.
âI know,â Beau says, grinning. âMe too.â
Dean, having successfully made everyone emotional, declares that the situation requires shots. Multiple shots. A truly irresponsible number of shots.
âI donât think this is medically advisable,â you protest as Dean lines up shot glasses on the kitchen counter.
âYouâre not on duty,â Dean says. âAnd weâre celebrating. Celebrating requires shots.â
âThatâs not-â
âShots! Shots! Shots!â Tucker starts chanting. The crowd joins in.
You look at Beau helplessly. He shrugs. âWhen in Rome?â
âRome didnât have vodka.â
âRome wouldâve had vodka if theyâd survived a near-death experience.â
You laugh and grab a shot glass. âFine. But Iâm blaming you when I regret this tomorrow.â
Dean passes out shots to everyone in the kitchen. âTo Beau!â He shouts.
âTo Beau!â Everyone echoes, and the shots go down.
One shot turns into two. Two turns into three. By shot four, youâre leaning against the counter, cheeks flushed, giggling at something Tucker is saying about his disastrous history midterm.
Beau stays close, not drinking as much because his tolerance is shot after months of not drinking, but enough that he feels warm and loose and brave.
âHaving fun?â He asks, appearing at your side.
You beam up at him. âThe most fun. Dean is insane. I love him.â
âDonât tell him that. His ego canât take it.â
âToo late!â Dean calls from across the room. âI heard! She loves me, Beau!â
âYouâre the worst!â Beau calls back.
âYou love me too!â
âDebatable!â
You laugh, the sound bright and unrestrained, and Beau wants to bottle it. Wants to keep it forever.
âCome on,â he says, taking your hand. âLetâs get some air.â
He leads you through the crowd, out the back door to the porch. The April night is cool but not cold, the first real hint of spring in the air. The noise from the party is muffled out here, just the bass line thumping through the walls.
âThis is nice,â you say, leaning against the railing. âQuieter.â
âYeah.â Beau stands beside you, close enough that your shoulders brush. âYou okay? Dean didnât overwhelm you too much?â
âAre you kidding? That toast was-â Your voice catches. âThat was one of the nicest things anyoneâs ever done for me.â
âYou saved my life. You deserve a lot more than a toast.â
âI was just doing what anyone would do.â
âNo,â Beau says firmly. âYou werenât. You did something extraordinary. And I will spend the rest of my life being grateful for it.â
You turn to face him, leaning your hip against the railing. âThe rest of your life, huh? Thatâs a long time.â
âNot long enough,â Beau says. His heart is pounding, but whether itâs from the alcohol or your proximity, he canât tell. Probably both. âY/N, I-â
âYeah?â
âIâve been wanting to tell you something. For months, actually.â
You tilt your head, curious. âWhat is it?â
âI-â He stops. Starts again. âDo you remember what you said to me in the hospital? About Harvard beating Briar fair and square?â
âOf course. And I meant it. You guys are going down next season.â
âSee, thatâs the thing.â Beau takes a small step closer. âIâve been thinking about that. About you being a Harvard fan and me playing for Briar. And I realized I donât care.â
âYou donât care about football?â You sound skeptical.
âI donât care that weâre rivals. I donât care that youâre rooting against my team. I donât care about any of it because-â He takes a breath. âBecause I like you. A lot. Like, an embarrassing amount for someone whoâs supposed to be playing it cool.â
Your eyes widen slightly. âBeau-â
âI know weâve been friends,â he continues quickly. âAnd if thatâs all you want, Iâll take it. Iâll take whatever youâre willing to give me. But I need you to know that I think about you constantly. I look forward to your texts more than anything else in my day. When I was in PT, struggling through the worst pain Iâve ever experienced, the thought of texting you after kept me going.â
âReally?â Your voice is soft.
âReally.â He reaches up, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. The gesture is gentle, tentative. âYou saved my life, Y/N. And then you kept saving it, every day, just by being you. By making me laugh when I wanted to give up. By believing I could recover when I wasnât sure I could.â
âI always believed in you,â you whisper.
âI know. I felt it. Every text, every terrible medical joke, every time you called me out for pushing too hard or not hard enough â I felt it.â
Youâre staring at him now, your eyes bright in the porch light. âI like you too,â you say. âI have for months. But I didnâtâyou were recovering, and I didnât want to take advantage-â
âTake advantage?â Beau laughs. âY/N, Iâve been trying to figure out how to ask you out since I woke up in that hospital bed and saw you for the first time.â
âYou were on a lot of pain meds.â
âDoesnât make it less true.â
You bite your lip, and Beau tracks the movement. âSo what now?â
âNow,â Beau says, stepping even closer, âIâm going to ask you something.â
âOkay.â
âCan I kiss you?â
Your breath catches. For a moment, you just stare at him. Then you smile â that brilliant, beautiful smile that heâs dreamed about for months.
âYes,â you breathe. âGod, yes.â
Beau cups your face in his hands, thumbs brushing against your cheeks, and leans in.
The first touch of your lips is electric. Soft and sweet and perfect. You make a small sound and melt into him, your hands coming up to grip his shirt.
Beau kisses you like heâs been wanting to for months, which he has. Kisses you like youâre precious, which you are. Kisses you like heâs afraid you might disappear, which part of him is.
You kiss him back just as intensely, your fingers curling into his hair, pulling him closer.
Someone starts whooping from inside. âYES! FINALLY! GET IT, MAXWELL!â
Beau flips him off behind your back without breaking the kiss, which makes you laugh against his mouth.
âYour friends are watching,â you mumble.
âDonât care,â Beau says, kissing you again.
âTheyâre cat-calling.â
âStill donât care.â
You pull back slightly, just enough to meet his eyes. Your lips are kiss-swollen, your cheeks flushed, and Beau has never seen anything more beautiful.
âThis is really happening?â You ask. âWeâre really doing this?â
âIf you want to,â Beau says. âI mean, I know itâs complicated. The rivalry thing-â
âIs football,â you finish. âJust football. This is more important.â
âYeah?â
âYeah.â You smile. âBesides, itâll make beating you next season even sweeter.â
Beau laughs and kisses you again. âYouâre impossible.â
âYou love it,â you say, echoing your earlier text.
From inside, Dean is now leading a chant of âKISS! KISS! KISS!â thatâs quickly spreading through the party.
âWe should probably go back in,â you say, not moving.
âProbably,â Beau agrees, also not moving.
You stay like that for another moment, just looking at each other, before you finally step back and take his hand.
âCome on,â you say. âBefore your best friend has an aneurysm.â
You walk back into the party together, hands linked, and the entire room erupts into cheers.
Dean tackles Beau in a hug, nearly knocking you both over. âFINALLY! Do you know how hard itâs been watching you pine for four months?â
âGet off me,â Beau laughs, shoving him away.
âIâm the best wingman ever. Admit it.â
âYouâre the worst.â
âBut Iâm your worst,â Dean says, grinning. Then he turns to you. âWelcome to the family, Y/N. Youâre stuck with us now.â
âI can think of worse fates,â you say, smiling.
Logan and Tucker appear, both looking entirely too pleased with themselves.
âSo,â Logan says. âAre you guys like, official? Is this a thing?â
Beau looks at you. You look back.
âItâs a thing,â you say.
âItâs definitely a thing,â Beau confirms.
âWell fuck,â Garrett says, joining the group with Hannah. âBecause Hannah bet me twenty bucks youâd get together before summer, and I bet after. So thanks for costing me money, Beau.â
âMy pleasure,â Beau says dryly.
The party continues late into the night. Beau stays by your side, your fingers laced with his, and for the first time since the accident, everything feels right.
Better than right.
Perfect.
Later, when the crowd has thinned and itâs just the core group sitting around the living room, Dean raises his beer one more time.
âTo second chances,â he says.
âTo guardian angels,â Tucker adds.
âTo love,â Hannah says, making everyone groan.
âTo football rivalries,â you contribute, which makes everyone laugh.
âTo all of it,â Beau says, looking at you. âTo whatever brought you to that highway at that exact moment. To whatever made you stop. To whatever led us here.â
You lean your head on his shoulder. âTo fate,â you say softly.
âTo fate,â Beau agrees.
And as he sits there, surrounded by his friends, his arm around the girl who saved his life in more ways than one, Beau canât help but think that Dean was right.
Life is short. Second chances are rare.
And heâs not going to waste a single moment of his.
***
The Briar University athletics facility smells like sweat and ambition at seven AM on a Saturday, which is exactly why Dean loves it. That, and the fact that most people are still asleep, leaving the weight room gloriously empty.
Well, mostly empty.
âCome on, Maxwell, one more set!â Dean calls from his spot on the bench press. âOr are you going to let your girlfriend out-lift you?â
Beau, currently doing bicep curls while watching you on the treadmill, flips him off without looking away from you. âSheâs not trying to out-lift me. Sheâs doing cardio.â
âI can hear you both,â you call from the treadmill, your ponytail swinging as you run. âAnd I absolutely could out-lift Beau if I wanted to.â
âOh, fighting words!â Dean sits up, grinning. âBeau, you gonna take that?â
âYes,â Beau says immediately. âHave you seen her deadlift? Itâs terrifying and hot.â
âItâs medical student grip strength,â you explain, not breaking stride. âYears of studying have given me callouses of steel.â
âAnd here I thought it was just natural perfection,â Beau says.
Dean makes gagging noises. âYou two are disgusting. Itâs been five months. The honeymoon phase should be over by now.â
âNever,â Beau says cheerfully, setting down his weights and grabbing his water bottle.
Dean watches as Beau wanders over to your treadmill, leans against it, and says something that makes you laugh mid-stride. You nearly trip, smacking his arm, but youâre grinning.
Five months. Nearly half a year since that party. Half a year of watching his best friend fall more in love every single day.
Itâs been an adjustment, Dean will admit. Suddenly having to share Beau with someone else, having to accept that heâs no longer the most important person in Beauâs life. But watching Beau now â healthy, happy, whole â Dean canât begrudge it.
Especially because youâre pretty fucking cool.
You finish your run and hop off the treadmill, breathing hard but not winded. âOkay, whatâs next? Weights? Core? Please say core. I need to work off the stress of this week.â
âJust long,â you say, stretching your arms over your head. âTwenty-hour shifts donât leave a lot of time for self-care. Hence why Iâm here at seven AM on my one day off instead of sleeping like a normal person.â
âItâs the endorphins,â Dean says knowingly. âYouâre chasing that dopamine high.â
âExactly,â you agree quickly. âPurely scientific. Nothing to do with-â
âWith wanting to see Beau shirtless and sweaty?â Dean finishes, smirking.
You turn red. âIâthatâs notâI mean-â
âNothing wrong with that,â Beau says, already pulling his shirt over his head. âI am pretty great to look at.â
âYour ego is showing,â you mutter, but youâre definitely staring.
Dean laughs. âOkay, lovebirds, letâs actually work out. Beau, youâve got full medical clearance now, right?â
âAs of last week,â Beau confirms, and thereâs an edge of excitement in his voice that Dean recognizes. Itâs the same excitement thatâs been building since the doctors finally, finally said he could return to full contact practice. âCoach wants me back in peak condition before the season starts.â
âWhich is three weeks,â Dean adds. âSo weâve got to get you whipped into shape.â
The effect is immediate and bizarre.
Beau and you lock eyes across the weight room. Something passes between you â some kind of silent communication that Dean has seen before but never understood. Itâs like you share a brain sometimes, which is both impressive and deeply unsettling.
Then, in perfect unison, you both gasp dramatically.
âDid you just say-â you start.
âWhipped into shape?â Beau finishes.
âOh no,â Dean says, recognizing the gleam in both your eyes. âNo. Whatever youâre thinking-â
But itâs too late.
You sprint to the corner of the gym where someone has left a pile of equipment. You emerge triumphantly holding two jump ropes.
âWhere did you evenâwhen did you-â Dean sputters.
âShhh,â you say, tossing one rope to Beau, who catches it with a grin that can only be described as maniacal. âLet us have this.â
âHave what?â Dean asks, genuinely concerned now.
You and Beau exchange another look. Then you hold up one finger and suddenly youâre both jumping rope and singing.
âI WANT YOU WHIPPED INTO SHAPE!â You belt out, your voice surprisingly strong for someone who just ran three miles.
âWHEN I SAY JUMP, SAY âHOW HIGH?ââ Beau joins in, jumping rope with enough enthusiasm to be concerning given that he had spinal surgery less than a year ago.
Dean stares. Just stares.
âYOU KNOW YOUâRE DOING IT RIGHT,â you continue, now doing some kind of complicated jump rope move that involves crossing your arms.
âWHEN YOU START TO CRY!â Beau adds, attempting the same move and nearly tripping over the rope.
âIF YOU DONâT LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD,â you both sing together now, jumping in sync, âYOUâVE GOT TO-â
âWHIP IT, WHIP IT, WHIP IT GOOD!â
You finish with a flourish, both of you breathing hard, jump ropes held high like youâve just won Olympic gold.
Thereâs a moment of silence.
Then you and Beau collapse into laughter, dropping the ropes and leaning on each other for support.
âWhat,â Dean says slowly, âthe actual fuck was that?â
âLegally Blonde: The Musical,â you gasp out between giggles. âBrooke Wyndham is an icon.â
âAnd when you said whipped into shape-â
âWe just had to,â you finish together.
Dean continues to stare. âYou two are insane.â
âProbably,â Beau agrees, still grinning.
âDefinitely,â you add, not looking remotely apologetic.
Dean shakes his head, but heâs smiling now. âI donât know whether to be impressed or concerned that you both knew all the words.â
âBe impressed,â Beau says. âWe also know the choreography to âOmigod You Guys.ââ
âWe do NOT need to see that,â Dean says quickly.
âYour loss,â you say cheerfully. âItâs iconic.â
Beau wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close and pressing a kiss to your temple. You lean into him naturally, like itâs the most normal thing in the world. Like youâve been doing it for years instead of months.
And Dean âŚ
Dean has a moment.
Heâs been Beauâs best friend for years. Has seen him date casually, has seen him hook up at parties, has seen him in relationships that lasted a few months before fizzling out. But this thing with you ⌠itâs different.
Itâs in the way Beau looks at you, like you hung the moon and stars. Itâs in the way you know what heâs thinking before he says it. Itâs in the stupid inside jokes and the synchronized musical numbers and the fact that Beau drove to your apartment in Cambridge just to bring you coffee before a tough rotation.
Itâs in the way you saved his life, yes, but also in the way you keep saving it, every day, just by existing.
And Dean realizes, standing in a weight room at seven AM on a Saturday, watching his best friend and his girlfriend be ridiculous together, that youâre soulmates.
The thought hits him with unexpected force. Heâs never believed in soulmates before â always thought it was romantic nonsense, something people made up to explain compatibility. But looking at you and Beau now, he canât think of another word for it.
Whatever happened that night last February â the deer, the ice, the crash, the fact that you were on that exact stretch of highway at that exact moment â it wasnât just coincidence.
It was fate.
It had to be.
Because the odds of everything aligning the way it did? Of you having the exact training needed to save him? Of you stopping when most people wouldnât? Of Beau surviving injuries that should have killed him?
The odds were astronomical.
And yet here you both are.
âDean?â Your voice pulls him from his thoughts. âYou okay? You look weird.â
âIâm fine,â Dean says. His voice comes out rougher than intended. âJust thinking.â
âDangerous,â Beau jokes, but heâs looking at Dean with concern now. âSeriously, man, whatâs up?â
Dean opens his mouth. Closes it. How does he even put this into words?
âI just-â He stops. Tries again. âYou two are it for each other, arenât you?â
The question hangs in the air.
You and Beau look at each other. Something passes between you again â that silent communication that Deanâs starting to understand is just how you two operate.
âYeah,â Beau says finally, turning back to Dean. âYeah, we are.â
âI love him,â you add simply. âLike, scary amount. Forever amount.â
âIâm going to marry her,â Beau says, like itâs the most obvious thing in the world. âProbably not today, because I think sheâd kill me if I proposed in a gym-â
âI absolutely would,â you confirm.
â-but someday. Definitely someday.â
Dean feels his throat get tight. âGood,â he manages. âThatâs good.â
âAre you crying?â You ask, peering at him.
âNo,â Dean says. Heâs definitely about to cry. âShut up.â
âOh my god, you are!â Beau looks delighted. âDean Di Laurentis, notorious womanizer and emotionally unavailable hockey player, is crying over our relationship!â
âIâm not crying. Itâs allergies.â
âThatâs not-â
Dean crosses the gym and pulls both of you into a hug, one arm around each of them. âIâm really glad you didnât die,â he tells Beau.
âMe too, man,â Beau says, returning the hug. âMe too.â
âAnd Iâm really glad you stopped,â Dean says to you. âThat night. Iâm really glad you stopped and saved him. Because I donât know what I wouldâve done if-â His voice cracks.
You squeeze him tighter. âIâm glad I stopped too.â
âYouâre stuck with us now,â Dean continues. âYou know that, right?â
âI can live with that,â you say softly.
You stand there for a moment, the three of you, holding onto each other in an empty weight room while early morning sunlight streams through the high windows.
Finally, Beau pulls back, wiping at his eyes. âOkay, enough emotions. Weâre supposed to be working out.â
âRight,â you agree, also suspiciously misty-eyed. âWorking out. Building strength. Whipping into shape.â
âDonât,â Dean warns.
âWeâve got to-â
âNo-â
âWHIP IT, WHIP IT, WHIP IT GOOD!â You and Beau shout together, dissolving into laughter again.
âI hate you both,â Dean says, but heâs grinning.
âNo you donât,â Beau says, slinging an arm around Deanâs shoulders.
âYou love us,â you add, linking your arm through Deanâs other arm.
âUnfortunately,â Dean admits. âNow come on. If you two are done with your Broadway moment, Beau actually does need to get whipped into shape before camp starts.â
âIâm in great shape,â Beau protests.
âYouâre in good shape,â you correct. âGreat shape requires more work. Doctorâs orders.â
âYouâre not my doctor.â
âI could be. Want me to check your reflexes?â
âThat sounds like innuendo.â
âIt wasnât, but I like where your headâs at.â
Dean makes a strangled sound. âI did NOT need that mental image.â
âThen stop listening to our conversations,â Beau says reasonably.
âYouâre having them three feet away from me!â
âSounds like a you problem,â you say cheerfully.
The workout continues, but the energy has shifted. Thereâs something lighter about it now, something that feels like the future rather than the past.
Dean watches as Beau spots you during squats, his hands hovering near your waist, ready to catch you if needed. Watches as you correct Beauâs form on shoulder presses with the clinical precision of someone who knows exactly how bodies work. Watches as you both take a water break and Beau pulls you in for a kiss thatâs probably too long for a public gym but that no oneâs around to complain about.
And someday â maybe years from now, maybe at that wedding Dean is already planning in his head â heâs going to tell this story.
Heâs going to tell everyone about the night Beau almost died. About the medical student who stopped to save him. About the months of recovery and the I Lived, Bitch party and the first kiss and the musical numbers in the gym.
Heâs going to tell them about soulmates, about fate, about second chances.
And heâs going to tell them that he knew.
He knew from that moment in the weight room, watching them be ridiculous together, that you were forever.
And Dean allows himself to feel grateful. Grateful for black ice and bad timing and good Samaritans. Grateful for medical training and quick thinking and jump ropes in gyms. Grateful for musicals and inside jokes and the way love can find you in the darkest moments.
pairing: steve harrington x reader
word count: 12k
summary: five-year-old steve harrington hates the hamptonsâuntil he meets a barefoot girl with a bucketful of shells and becomes stevie. a coming-of-age story about first friendships, pinky promises, and falling in love, one summer at a time.
warnings: 18+ mdni, piv sex, oral (f!receiving), childhood best friends to lovers, oldmoney!steve, coming-of-age, vignette storytelling, first kiss, loverboy baby steeb!, heavy angst, slow burn, canon divergence, his parents are godawful in this one, character study as always, happy ending | playlist | moodboard
Steve Harrington is 5 years old when he decides that the Hamptons are the worst place in the entire world.
He knows this because heâs been here for one whole hour and he already wants to go home.
At least, he thinks itâs been an hour. The numbers on his new watch are shiny and hard to read, and the leather strap feels too heavy on his arm. It keeps sliding down like itâs trying to escape. Â
Steve kind of hopes it does.
If it slides off completely, down through the cracks in the porch and into the sandy dirt below, then maybe the ocean will take it. The ocean takes lots of things. Shells, seaweed, shiny bits of glass, baby turtles.
Maybe it could take him, too.
Maybe he could float on the blue waves all the way back home.
Not HawkinsâHawkins is full of grown-ups who bend down too close, their eyelashes like moving spiders as they pinch his cheeks and say, Oh, Catherine, he looks just like Daniel already, doesnât he?
No. Steve wants to go home to his room. Where all his dinosaurs live. Where his blue night-light makes everything soft and underwater-colored. Where no one tells him Smile, Stephen, or Be polite, Stephen, or For heavenâs sake, Stephen, stop fidgeting.
His new sandals hurt. Bad. The buckle is sharp and keeps poking the soft part of his ankle every time he moves. His shirt itches him everywhereâhis neck, his sides, his armpitsâand no amount of wriggling seems to help.
He tugs at the collar, trying to make it stop.
His momâs hand lands on his shoulder.
âStephen, sweetheart, keep still.â
He tries. He really, really does.
But all around him, the grown-ups are being very loud. They stand in little circles, laughing these big, sharp HA-HA-HA laughs that poke straight into his ears. Every time his dad says something, itâs like someone presses a button and they all explode at once.
Someone tells his mom how tall Steveâs getting. Someone else winks at his dad and keeps saying the word âPrinceton,â which Steve thinks might be a kind of car, but it makes his dad laugh loudly and look at Steve with a funny smile.
Another woman bends down and tells him heâs going to âbreak so many hearts one day.â
Steve frowns.
Why would he do that?
He likes hearts.
Hearts are for loving, not hurting.
He looks past the grown-upsâpast the chairs and tables and the flowers that smell too strongâtoward the tiny slice of ocean peeking between the dunes. Blue and shiny and very, very far away.
He wants it.
Wants to touch the sand with his bare feet. Wants water heâs allowed to splash in. Â
Wants a summer that belongs to him instead of everyone else.
His mom squeezes his shoulder again. âPosture, Stephen. Stand up straight.â
He thinks maybe thatâs his name now: Posture Stephen.
âI am standing straight,â he mutters.
âWhat was that?âÂ
âNothing.â
He wants to run.
Run until the HA-HA-HA sounds disappear. Run until nobodyâs watching him. Run until he hits the water.
So when his mom gets called over by someone waving a fancy glass, and his dad tells another joke that makes everyone explode-laugh againâ
Steve sneaks away.
Heâs fast and light, like a ninja.
He slips between chairs, tiptoes down the wooden steps, and as soon as the dunes come into view, he runs.
The sand squishes under his feet, and Steve sighs so big his whole chest feels lighter. He breathes in deep, holding as much salty air as his lungs can fit.
The beach is huge. Bigger than his school playground. Bigger than Hawkins, even. Tall grasses wave on the dunes like theyâre saying hello, and beyond them is nothing but waterâblue and green and silver, stretching all the way to forever. Â
The ocean roars, but itâs a good sound. A soft whoosh-whoosh-whoosh that fills his ears without hurting them.
On his way toward the water, he finds a stick.
A really good stick. Long and a little pointy on one end.
It could be a cool pirate sword. Heâs gonna use it to make the biggest hole in the world.
He plops down, criss-cross-applesauce, and starts digging. Sand sticks to his shorts, but thatâs okay. He can say he tripped later.
He stabs the stick into the ground and drags it out.
The sand slides back in.
He digs again.
Slides back in again.
He huffs and tosses the stick away.
âThis is dumb,â he mutters. âYouâre dumb.â He means the hole. And the stick. And the sandals. And maybe the whole world.
Heâs just about to flop onto his back and stare at the sky, because that usually gets someone to notice himâ
When a shadow falls over his hole.
âWhatâre you doing?â Â Â
Steve looks up.
Itâs a girl. About his age.
You stand there, barefoot, hair wild like you ran through ten windstorms. Sand is smudged on your cheek like face paint. He stares at your toes curling happily in the sand and feels a sharp pinch of jealousy.
You drop a bright plastic bucket beside him. Itâs full of shells and rocks and something that moves.
A crab lifts its tiny claws and clicks at him.
Steve jerks back. You donât.
Instead, you plant your hands on your hips and squint down at him like youâve known him forever.
âYouâre not digginâ right.â you announce.
He blinks. ââŚIâm not?â
âNope.â You point at the hole with your whole arm. âSandâs too dry. It just falls in. You gotta use wet sand.â
âOh.â He feels silly for not knowing that. âI didnât know.â
âWell, now you do.â You plop down beside him. Your knees are dirty, covered in scratches and tiny dots from the sand, but you donât seem to care. âWanna see how?â
Nobody ever asks him that.
Nobody ever asks him if he wants to see something.
He nods fast. âYeah.â
You grin and grab his hand, yanking him up so quickly he stumbles.
âI-Iâm Steve,â he blurts as he gets dragged toward the ocean, because he knows heâs supposed to introduce himself to new people.
You tell him your name proudly. Then you tilt your head, thinking.
âCan I call you Stevie?â
âStevie?â
âYeah! My momâs favorite singerâs named Stevie.â
Steve thinks about it.
Nobodyâs ever given him a nickname before.
It feels special. Like a secret.
âOkay,â he nods, smiling.
You beam and tug him toward the water. âCâmon, Stevie!â
Stevie.
He likes it.
Loves it.
It feels like the sun just turned on inside his chest.
âď¸
Steve Harrington is 6 years old when summers suddenly mean everything.
The Hamptons stop being itchy shirts and sharp laughs that hurt his ears.
They become you.
Summer means you. It means your laugh, your bucket full of strange treasures, your hair decorated with seashells âbecause it looks cool.â It means your brave, bossy voice telling him what to do, but always in a fun way. Â
Every month of the school year, Steve waits.
And every night before bed, he lines his stuffed dinosaurs up by his pillow and tells them stories about the beach. About the girl with the crab bucket and the sand-matted hair the wind couldnât catch. About how you call him Stevie because itâs the name of your momâs favorite singer. About how you donât care when he wiggles, or gets dirty, or says some words wrong.
When his mom asks if heâs excited for the Hamptons, he just shrugs. âI guess.â
But inside, his chest feels all tight and fizzy, like a soda can heâs not supposed to open yet: Coca-Cola, his favorite.
The whole flight to New York, Steve squints at the numbers on his watch, trying to decide if the big hand is halfway or not. Heâs still not very good at telling the time, but he knows enough to know the flight feels like forever.
He ends up staring out the little oval window instead, at clouds that look like giant dinosaur eggs. He wonders if youâd think so, too. Heâll ask you when he sees you.
If he sees you.
What if you arenât there this year? What if you forgot him?
The thought makes his stomach feel all wiggly and twisty. He doesnât like it.
He hopes youâre there. He hopes you didnât forget him.
The moment the car turns onto the long, winding road toward the summer house, Steve scoots forward as far as the belt lets him, pressing his face to the window. When he sees the ocean shining in the distance like a giant blue secret, his chest gets so tight he can hardly breathe.
He canât wait. He canât.
He barely waits for the car to stop.
âStephen! Shoes! Your shoes are going toâoh, for heavenâs sakeâŚâ
He doesnât listen. He takes the steps two at a time, sandals smacking hard against the wood.
Heâs taller now. A whole two inches and a half, thank you very much.
Heâs faster, too. Knows he is. Heâs been practicing during recess, racing Tommy H. behind the swings.
He leaps off the last step and skids into the sandâ
âSTEVIE!â
He spins around so fast the world blurs.
Youâre barreling toward him at top speed. Sand spraying behind you, hair flying everywhere. Your bucket bangs against your knee as you run, rattling and clanking and sounding even fuller than last year.
Steveâs face splits into the biggest grin heâs ever had.
You crash into him, arms wrapping tight around his middle, and the force of it nearly knocks him onto his back.
âHI! Stevie, Stevieâyou gotta see this shell I found! Wait, hang onââ
You pull back just far enough to dig frantically through your bucket, dumping half of it into the sand. Rocks tumble out. Then a string of green, slimy seaweed. You grab something big and lumpy and shove it up toward his face.
âSee?â Â
Steve blinks.
The shell is huge, bigger than his whole hand. Pale pink and creamy white, spiraled tight at one end and opening wide at the other. The outside is dotted with rounded little spikes that feel rough when he traces his fingers over them, but the inside is smooth and shiny.
âThatâs really cool,â he says, because everything you do is cool. âIt kind of looks likeâŚâ He squints hard, turns it sideways. ââŚa horn?â
Your eyes light up. âYeah! Like a unicorn.â
He smiles. âOr a dinosaur.âÂ
âThatâs better,â you nod seriously. âOkay now listen!â
Before he can ask what you mean, you press the wide end right against his ear. Itâs cold and sandy against his cheek.
ââŚWhatâs it do?â
âJust listen.â
He holds very still, not sure what heâs supposed to be listening for.
And thenâ
Whoosh. Whoosh-whoosh.
His eyes go huge.
âWhoa,â he breathes.
âCool, right?â
âItâs loud.â
âThatâs the ocean.â
âReally?â
âYeah. Itâs stuck in there.â
You drop the shell into his hands and curl his fingers around it. âKeep it.â
He frowns. âBut⌠you found it.â
âItâs okay.â You shrug like itâs obvious. âIâll find another one. The beach has, like, a million.â
He looks down at the shell again, then back at you. His chest feels funny, all warm and full. It feels good. Really good.
âHey,â you say suddenly, squinting out toward the water. âWanna see something even cooler?â
Of course he does.
âď¸
You drag him everywhere.
To tide pools where little fish zip and hide under wet rocks and the seaweed shimmers in the water. Look, look, a crab!
To a secret hideout between the dunes where the grass grows taller than your heads. This way, Stevie!
To the treasure spot, because every beach has one if you know how to look. You draw an X in the sand with a stick and make a crooked map with squiggly lines and arrows. Quick, Stevie, dig! We have to find the gold before the sea monsters come!
You show him your jar full of hopping sand bugs. One brushes his thumb and he squeaks.
You laugh. He stands up straighter and pretends he wasnât scared.
You even show him your Very Important rock collection. which is a big deal because you donât show anyone your rocksânot even your cousins, who are âmean poop-heads who donât appreciate cool stuff.â
Later, youâre sitting in the sand, sorting shells by colorâwhite pile, pink pile, stripey pileâwhen you tell him youâre flying back to California when the summerâs over.
âCal-ee-for-nee-yah,â you say proudly.
Steve blinks. âWhy?â
âThatâs where my house is.â You shrug. âI stay here with my aunt in the summer.â
âOh.â He digs his toe into the sand. âSo⌠youâre goinâ away?â
âJust for school.â You glance at him. âIâll come back. Iâll always come back.â
He looks at you fast, careful, like maybe itâs a trick. âReally?â
âUh-huh.â
âWhen?â
âNext summer.â
He thinks about that. A whole year sounds really long, but summers always come back. They have to.
âYou promise?â
âPromise,â you nod, sticking out your pinky.
He hooks his around yours immediately, serious as anything. Pinky promises are the strongest kind. Everybody knows that.
âOkay,â he says, finally breathing again. Then his forehead scrunches.
âWhereâs⌠umâŚâ He sticks his tongue out, trying to remember how you said it. âCal⌠Cal-uh-for-nee⌠Cal-uh-for-na?â He shakes his head, mad that he canât say it right.
You smile. âYeah! Itâs super, super far. You gotta take two planes.â
âOh.â He nods slowly. Two planes sounds like forever.
You tell him itâs hotter there. That the trees are huge and tall, with giant leaves like green fireworks stuck in the sky.
You tell him the beaches there are bigger. Way bigger.
Steve looks out at the miles of Hamptons shoreline and frowns. âHow?â
âThey just are,â you insist, tossing a shell onto the striped pile. âAnd people surf there.â
âWhatâs that?â
You squint up at the sky. âItâs like⌠flying. But on water. They stand on boards and go really, really fast.â
Steve blinks, tries to imagine it. Â
Flying⌠but on water.
He knows you canât fly. Birds can. Planes can. People canât.
And you definitely canât stand on water. He tried once in the bathtub. You just sink.
His mouth twists.
âThatâs not real,â he says, sure of it.
You scrunch your nose, lip jutting out. âIt is too!â Â
You shove himânot hard, just enough that he flops backward into the sand with a surprised oof.
For half a second, his stomach drops. Maybe he did something wrong.
He stares up at you, eyes wide, waiting for your face to go tight like grown-upsâ faces when he messes up.
But youâre laughing.
Bright and easy, like nothingâs wrong at all.
Sand sprays as you jump up and spin away, yelling over your shoulder, âRace you to that big rock!â
And youâre gone before he can say wait up.
The tight feeling in his chest disappears.
He scrambles up, laughing too, chasing after you with everything heâs got. Legs burning, sandals slipping, but he doesnât care. Â
Itâs perfect.
Itâs the best day of his whole life.
Until you fall.
It happens so fast.
One second youâre running ahead of him, laughing, hair flying everywhere.
The next, you stumble over a hard patch in the sand and go down hard.
âOw!â
Steve skids to a stop so fast he almost falls too. His heart leaps into his throat.
He drops beside you right away. âAre you okay? Are you okay? Oh no, oh noââ His eyes dart all over you, scared and frantic. Thereâs a smear of red mixed with the sand on your knee. His breath catches.
âYour... your knee,â he whispers.
You sniffle, lip wobbling. âH-hurts.â
Itâs the worst word heâs ever heard.
âItâs okay,â he says fast, even though his hands are shaking. He reaches for your arm, then stops, afraid heâll make it worse if he touches you wrong. âItâs okay. I can fix it. I know how.â
You look up at him, eyes shiny. ââŚYou do?â
He nods hard. âYeah.â
He doesnât really know. But his mom fixed his knee once after he fell off his bike. He remembers the cold wipe. The sting. The band-aid after.
âIâm gonna get the band-aid box,â he blurts, pointing up at the house. âIâll be super fast. I promise.â
âO-okay.â
Before he runs, he leans in and gives you a quick, careful hug around your shoulders, making sure not to touch your knee. It always makes him feel better when you hug him.
âIâll be fast,â he promises again. âReally fast.â
And then he sprints.
He sprints like heâs never sprinted in his life.
Across the beach, up the steps, through the house, ignoring the sharp call of âStephen! Shoes!â as he dives into the bathroom.
He drops to his knees and yanks open the cabinet under the sink. He grabs the entire first aid kit, almost the size of his head, and runs back with it rattling in his arms.
Youâre still there when he gets back, sitting exactly where he left you.
âI got it!â he pants.
He flips the kit open, hands clumsy, trying to remember how his mom did it. He finds a wipe, tears it open, and gently presses it to your kneeâ
You hiss and pull back. Â Â
âSorry!â His eyes go wide. âSorry, sorry! Iâll do it softer.â
He leans down and blows carefully on your knee.
âBetter?â
ââŚYeah,â you sniff. âA little.â
He nods, relieved. He wipes as fast and gentle as he can, tongue poking out while he concentrates. Then he grabs a band-aid, peeling it open with his teeth because his fingers wonât work right. He sticks it on crooked, pressing the edges down with both thumbs.
âThere,â he breathes, nodding to himself. âAll done.â
When he looks up, your eyes are huge and your mouth is open like you just saw a unicorn.
âHey, are you okaâoof!â
All the air is knocked out of him when you lunge forward, both arms wrapping tight around his neck.
A warm, squishy, full-body hug.
âYouâre the nicest boy ever,â you mumble into his shoulder.
Steve freezes.
His ears go hot. His whole chest feels too full, like it might pop.
No oneâs ever said that to him before.
âOh... okay,â he whispers, because he canât think of any other words.
He hugs you back, being careful and gentle.
And inside him, something huge and glowing starts to form.
Something he doesnât have a name for yet, but he knows he will carry it with him forever.
âď¸
Steve Harrington is 10 years old when he realizes heâll never forget you.
Itâs the end-of-the-summer fireworks festival.
He sprints down the familiar sandy path, sneakers thudding, two glass bottles of Coca-Cola clinking together in his hand. A crinkly bag of potato chips is tucked tight under his armâsalt and vinegar, your favorite, even though they make your mouth pucker and your nose wrinkle.
His heart thumps in that way it always does during the very last week of summer, when everything fun is happening all at onceâand also ending.
He knows youâre there, waiting for him.
You always are.
Your spot is exactly where itâs been for five summers now: a small dip between two grassy dunes, hidden from the rest of the beach. The sand curves around it like arms, blocking the wind and the noise from the crowd.
Youâre sitting on your blanket, legs crossed, tongue poking out as you carefully tie pieces of sea grass together into a bracelet.
When you see him, your whole face lights up.
âStevie! You got it!â
ââCourse I did,â he grins, holding up the chips. âMy mom wouldnât stop talking to Mrs. Aldridge about⌠I dunno. Hair stuff? It took forever.â
âThatâs âcause grown-ups love being boring,â you say, scooting over. âSit, sit! The first oneâs gonna happen any second.â
He flops down beside you, and you shuffle closer until your shoulder presses against his.
Closer than last year, he thinks.
Your hand brushes his knee when you reach for the snacks. Steve pretends he doesnât notice, but he notices like crazy.
The first firework explodes with a loud crack, red sparks bursting across the sky.
You gasp, sharp and happy, and grab his hand without thinking.
Your fingers slide between his.
Steve looks down, startled.
Your palm is warm, a little sweaty. His own hand is rough in spots, scraped from climbing the rope at recess back home and picking at scabs he shouldnât. Your thumb rests right against it.
You donât let go.
He definitely does not let go.
âWhoa,â you whisper as the sparks fade. âDid you see that? It looked like a flower.â
âYeah,â Steve says.
But heâs not looking at the sky at all.
The fireworks flash over your face, turning your eyes all sorts of bright, pretty colors: blue, then gold, then pink. Your nose scrunches when one pops extra bright. Every time a big one crackles, you squeeze his hand tighter.
So he squeezes back.
Carefully at first. Then a little braver.
Green fireworks shoot out like tree branches, spiraling high into the dark, but he only really notices because they shine in your eyes.
Youâre brighter.
Youâre always brighter.
When the sky goes dark for a second and everything is quiet, you turn to him.
âHey, Stevie?â you whisper.
âYe-ah?â His voice cracks halfway through. Thatâs been happening a lot lately. He clears his throat fast and hopes you didnât hear it.
You smile at him.
âYouâre my best friend.â
His stomach flips, like that time he went on the biggest roller coaster at Indiana Beach and thought he might fly right out of his seat.
He sits up a little straighter, squeezing your hand.
âYouâre mine too,â he blurts. âLikeâlike the most. Outta everyone. In the whole world.â
Your face breaks into the biggest smile yet, and before he can think about it, you lean in and wrap your arms around his neck.
A hug.
It feels familiar. But also different.
Bigger. Like it means more than it used to, even if he doesnât know why.
He hugs you back right away, pressing his nose into your hair. You smell like sunscreen and grape popsicles and the ocean.
âYouâre the best, Stevie,â you whisper into his shoulder. âThe best ever.â
That fluttery feeling in his stomach comes back, stronger this time. He swallows, nods even though you canât see it.
âYou too,â he says quietly, squeezing you just a little tighter.
Then, just as you pull back, you press a quick kiss to his cheek.
Barely there.
But it feels like something exploding inside his chest.
His face goes burning hot. Heâs really glad itâs dark, because heâs pretty sure his cheeks are as red as the fireworks.
Up above, the finale roars to life: fountains of silver streaking upward, bursting into brilliant gold that lights up the entire beach.
You turn back to watch like nothing happened, scooting closer until your head tips and rests against his shoulder.
Steve freezes.
He doesnât move. Doesnât breathe.
When he finally has to, he does it slowly, careful not to move an inch. Your fingers curl into his shirt. Your breath is warm against his neck when you let out a small, sleepy sigh.
The fireworks crash and boom overhead, sparkling like giant flowers.
Steve stares at the sky, heart pounding, feeling something change inside him.
Something big.
Itâs the first time he understands something heâs never felt before.
Steve Harrington is ten years old when he falls in love with his best friend in the whole world.
âď¸
Steve Harrington is 12 years old when everything gets... weird.
Heâs a lot taller now, second tallest out of the boys his class. Heâs faster, stronger. His shoulders are broader, his arms a little longer than he expects when he stretches them out. His hair brushes the tops of his ears, and he kind of likes it that way, even though his mom keeps telling him itâs time for a trim.
And his voice... his voice keeps doing that awful, traitorous squeak. Especially when heâs around you.
But none of that really matters.
Because youâre here.
Youâre back.
And youâre different, too.
Not in a big, obvious way. You still run like youâve got rocket boosters strapped to your ankles. You still crouch by tide pools and whisper to crabs like theyâre old friends. You still call him Stevie in the exact same way.
But now...
Now you lean on him sometimes when you sit together. You donât move away when your knees touch. Now your eyes flick to his mouth when heâs talking, and Steve doesnât really know what that means, but he knows it means something.
The wind is steady and warm today, bending the dune grass in lazy waves. The two of you sit cross-legged in your secret spot, the same hidden hollow youâve shared since you were five. Piles of shells and weird rocks you swear might be fossils are scattered between you.
You hand him a perfectly round one with swirls. âThis one looks like Neptune,â you declare. Â
Steve nods, even though the only thing he knows about Neptune is that it's blue.
Heâs not looking at the rock, anyway.
Youâre telling him a story about a crab you swear was as big as a dog. You stretch your arms out to demonstrate the size, ridiculously wide.
âStevie, I swear,â you insist. âIts claws were this big. Couldâve snipped your big toe off.â
Steve nods along, trying to focus on the part where he should laugh. Â
But he canât stop staring.
At the color of your eyes in the sunlight. At the way the breeze lifts strands of your hair and drops them back against your cheek. At the curve of your mouth when you get excited.
He feels weird all the time now. Fluttery and unsteady, like the moment at the top of a roller coaster right before it drops. It happens every time he looks at you, or thinks about you, which is basically always.
Heâs thinking about how pretty the sun looks reflecting off your skin, how it catches the little beads of water on your cheek and makes them glint like tiny stars, when suddenlyâ
You go quiet.
Really quiet.
Steveâs stomach tightens instantly.
Youâre never quiet unless youâre asleep or thinking about pulling a prank on him. He stiffens, glancing around for whatever bug or crab you mightâve hidden.
Thereâs nothing.
Youâre just⌠looking at him.
âHey, Stevie?â you say softly.
His throat makes a weird clicking noise. âYeah?â
You scoot closer. Your knee presses against his leg and doesnât move away.
Your voice drops to a whisper. âIâm gonna do something. Donât freak out.â
Heâs already freaking out. He doesnât think heâs ever freaked out this much in his entire life.
âO-okay,â he manages.
You nod once, take a tiny breath, lean forwardâ
And you kiss him.
Right on the mouth.
His first kiss.
Your lips are soft and warm. They press against his for just a second, shorter than a blink, gone before he can react.
You pull back, eyes still closed. Steve is frozen, eyes wide open, mouth puckered.
Your nose crinkles when you open your eyes and see him.
âStevie,â you giggle. âClose your mouth!â
He snaps it shut so fast his teeth click together.
You completely lose it, laughing as you fall sideways into the sand.
âOh my god,â you wheeze. âYou looked like a fish!â
He groans, mortified, covering his face with both hands as he flops down next to you. âDonât laugh!â
âIâm sorry!â you say, laughing harder. âIâm notâitâs justââ
He peeks through his fingers, smiling despite himself. He loves the sound of your laugh, even when itâs at his expense.
When your giggles finally soften, you scoot closer on your back until youâre nose to nose, lined up from shoulder to ankle.
Steve turns his head to look at you.
Up close, he can see the little grains of sand stuck to your forehead, the way your lashes cast shadows on your cheeks. His face burns.
âIsâŚâ His voice cracks again, and he swallows. âIs it okay if we⌠do that again?
Your smile is huge and immediate. âYeah. I wanna.â
This time, he leans in first.
And this time, heâs ready.
He closes his eyes. Keeps his lips together. Moves slow and careful. His nose bumps your cheek, squishing awkwardly from the angle, and you break into giggles again, turning the kiss wobbly and messy.
When you pull back, youâre both smiling the exact same way.
âOh my god, your face is so red.â
âItâsâitâs because itâs hot out,â he stammers.
âNope. Itâs you.â
You reach up and ruffle his hair, messing it up completely. Â
âHey!â he sputters, batting at your hand.
You climb halfway on top of him, not really tackling, just laughing, squirming, wrestling in that loose, joyful way where nobodyâs trying to win, and he'd let you anyway.
Youâre both out of breath by the time you flop back onto the sand, laughing so hard it hurts.
Steve throws an arm over his face, smiling wide, everything dizzy and bright.
The wind brushes over him. The sun hums overhead.
After a while, you stretch your pinky toward him.
He feels it tap against his hand and hooks it without even looking.
âPromise weâll hang out every summer,â you say.
âThatâs easy,â he answers immediately. âPromise.â
Then he props himself up on one elbow and looks down at you, suddenly serious.
âActually, next time, Iâm gonna bring something.â
Your eyes go bright. âLike what?â
âItâs a secret.â
You shove him lightly. âWhat? Tell me!â
âNope.â He flops back onto the sand, grinning. âYou gotta wait.â
You groan dramatically at the sky, pinky still tangled in his.Â
âI hate you.â
He closes his eyes, smiles at the sun.
âNo you donât.â
âď¸
Steve Harrington is 13 years old when his world stops for the first time.
It happens on a warm June morning, with sunlight slanting through tall windows and the smell of pancakes drifting through the house.
He starts the day happy.
He hums as he packs, canât help it. He doesnât even care that his roomâs a disaster: swimsuits tossed over the chair, T-shirts half-folded, socks everywhere.
On his desk sits a small shoe box.
He pauses in front of it.
Inside are the things youâve given him over the years. Precious, timeless treasures.
The spiral shell shaped like a dinosaur horn. The seaweed bracelet, brittle now, faded pale from time. The smooth blue stone you said looked like Neptune. Â
He picks up each thing carefully, touches it, turns it over in his hand. Then he puts them back exactly how they were and closes the lid.
The box goes into the bottom drawer, where itâs safe.
Then he picks up his gift.
Itâs clumsy. Strung together with twine, wrapped messily in torn comic-book pages because he couldnât find real wrapping paper. The corners are taped crooked, the edges uneven. Heâs worked on it for years, adding to it bit by bit every summer, telling himself next year every time.
But this year feels different.
This year, he thinks he can give them to you.
Heâs even written his address on the top oneâcarefully, in his neatest handwritingâso maybe you could write to him in California. Youâre smart. Youâd know how.
He smooths the edges with nervous fingers.
Heâs practiced what heâll say all week.
Hey, these are for you. Too boring.
You can have these, or whatever. Too nothing.
You mean everything to me. Too much. Way too much.
He settles on a smile instead.
You always say he has a nice one, that he smiles with his whole face, that his eyes squish up âlike a happy chipmunk.â
No one else ever says things like that to him. Not the way you do.
Heâs halfway through folding a beach towel when his momâs voice floats up the stairs.
âStephen? Breakfast.â
âComing!â he calls, already jogging down barefoot, taking the steps two at a time, giddy.
His mom is in the kitchen, stirring her coffee neatly. His dad sits at the table with the newspaper spread wide.
âHey, Mom,â Steve says, breathless. âHave you seen my hat? The one with the red stripe? I canât find it.â Â
She doesnât look up.
âStephen,â she says evenly, âwe arenât going to the Hamptons this summer.â
The world stops.
â...Huh?â
She sets her spoon down. âWeâve decided to do Europe instead.â
For one second, he thinks itâs a joke. He lets out a short, confused laugh and looks at his dad.
His throat goes tight when nobody smiles.
âWhat?â Steve croaks.
âYouâre thirteen now, Stephen,â his dad says, turning the page. âItâs time you saw culture. Real culture.â
âBut...â Steve shakes his head, hair falling into his eyes. âBut we always go to the Hamptons.â
âThis will be good for you,â his mom says, smiling lightly. âEurope will be lovely.â
Lovely.
Like the sound of your laugh.
Like the colors of fireworks in your eyes.
Like the warmth of your hug when you called him the nicest boy ever.
âN-no, butââ His voice cracks. âBut I have a friend.â
âYouâll make new ones.â
âYou donât understand,â he says, words tripping over each other, panic rising fast. âI have toâI promisedâI told her Iâdââ
His dad sighs, newspaper crinkling. âStop whining.â
Steve flinches.
âIâm not whining,â he whispers.
His mom steps closer and smooths his hair back like heâs still little. âYouâll love Europe, darling. Now eat your breakfast. You can finish packing after.â Â
Something hot and awful swells in his chest.
He wants to scream. He wants to cry. He wants to throw the coffee pot at the wall and watch it shatter.
Instead, he tries again.
âPlease,â he begs, voice breaking completely now. âPlease, Mom. We have to go. Sheâll be waiting. I told her Iâd come back. Just this year. Please.â
He promises to be good. That he wonât run off to the beach without permission. That he wonât complain during parties. He swears heâll do more chores, stop arguing, get better grades. Heâll be perfect. Heâll be anything.
Anything.
âStephen,â his father snaps, voice like a slammed door. âDrop it.â
Something inside Steve drops with it.
Falls.
Cracks.
Shatters.
âď¸
He runs upstairs, slams his door and locks it. Drags his dresser in front of it with shaking arms. Slides down onto the carpet, breaths coming in sharp, broken pieces.
He doesnât come out the rest of the day.
That night, he sleeps with your shell clutched in his hand, pressed tight against his ear. The ocean hums inside it. If he closes his eyes, he can pretend heâs thereâpretend youâre tugging his hand, pulling him toward the water.
Stevie, look!
He cries until his pillow is soaked.
âď¸
The Hamptons house stays closed all summer; curtains drawn, doors locked, a whole season going on without him.
On the way to the airport, Steve presses his cheek to the car window and watches the world blur past.
He doesnât know how to send a letter. He doesnât know where in California you live. Â
He canât call. Canât write. Canât find you.
There is no treasure map back. Â
Just sandcastles washed away by tides and a pinky promise he couldnât keep.
He pictures you standing in the dunes, bucket in hand, looking over your shoulder.
Waiting.
Maybe youâre mad.
Maybe youâre worried.
Maybe youâre thinking he forgot you.
That thought hurts so badly he has to bite down on his knuckle to keep quiet.
âď¸
In hotel rooms across Europe, Steve lies awake at night, staring at unfamiliar ceilings.
He tries not to cry.
Some nights, he fails.
But he does it silently, face shoved into a pillow, because boys his age arenât supposed to do that anymore.
In Florence, he stares at the Arno River and thinks of the ocean. Wonders if youâre there right now, toes buried in the sand, waiting for him to complain that the waterâs cold just so you can grab his wrist and drag him in, laughing.
In Paris, he watches fireworks bloom over the Eiffel Tower and feels sick.
Red, gold, and blue explodes across the sky, but all he can see is your eyes. Your hand laced through his, your head heavy and warm on his shoulder.
Youâre my best friend.
He cries himself to sleep on expensive hotel sheets, muffling his sobs into Egyptian cotton until itâs dark with salt.
In dreams, he is flying.
The wide blue waters of California stretching endlessly below him, carrying him closer to you.
âď¸
Steve Harrington is 15 years old when he learns how to disappear.
The hallways are packed tight with shouting and shrill laughter. Boys slam into each other on purpose. Everyone pretends theyâre bigger, tougher, cooler than they were three months ago.
So Steve pretends, too.
He discovers the power of hairspray, learns how to make his hair work for him.
By October, everybody has an opinion about him. Mostly girls.
âOh my god, Steve Harrington is so cute.â
âRight? He looks taller than last year.â
âDid you see his hair? Total dream.â
He smiles. He flirts. He jokes. He learns to be charming the way his father is at dinner partiesâmaking people laugh, making them lean in close.
It works.
High school is a costume. And Steve Harrington wears it well.
âď¸
One afternoon in P.E., Tommy Hagan decides Steve is âmy best bud, actually.â
It happens after the 100-meter sprint. Steve wins without really trying, legs strong and fast from years of racing barefoot across sand dunes.
Tommy slaps him on the back hard enough to knock the air out of him.
âHarrington! Jesus, dude, you move.â
Steve grins, even though his shoulder stings.
Harrington. Not Stevie.
Tommy hooks an arm around his neck like theyâve been friends for years. Carol Perkins tells him she likes his hair. Â
And for the first time since losing you, Steve feels something close to relief.
Heâs not alone.
âď¸
Sophomore year, someone calls him King Steve for the first time.
He laughs, because it sounds stupid.
But the name sticks, like gum on a shoe.
Heâs captain of the swim team now. Sixteen years old and heâs already broken the state record for the 200-yard freestyle. His body does what he tells it to, and he likes that. Likes the rush of being good at something, the roar of the crowd every time he touches the wall first.
His parents are almost never home anymore. No more summer trips to Europe, or anywhere. They leave him with a credit card and a spotless house.
Steve makes it his personal mission to ruin that.
He throws the loudest, wildest parties he can, every chance he gets. Music shaking the walls. People jumping on furniture, spilling drinks, diving into the pool with all their clothes on.
Everyone loves the parties.
Everyone loves King Steve.
âď¸
Steve has a drawer that no one opens.
Not his parents. Not the housekeeper. Not even him, most days.
The wood sticks when itâs pulled, swollen from years of humidity and neglect.
Inside it is a shoe box.
Shells. Rocks. A bracelet that doesnât fit anymore.
Remains of summers he pretends not to remember.
Most nights, he leaves it alone.
But sometimesâwhen the house feels too big, when everyoneâs gone home and the silence presses inâhe opens the drawer.
Lifts the lid.
He doesnât touch anything.
Just looks.
He wonders if you remember him.
If you still call him Stevie in your head.
If you ever think of those summers: the dunes, the fireworks, the scrape on your knee.
Then he closes the box. Slides it back into the dark.
In the morning, he is Harrington once again.
âď¸
Steve Harrington is 18 years old when the letter finally arrives.
It sits on his desk for three days, unopened.
The envelope is thick, cream-colored and heavy. He knows what it says. Heâs known since the phone call, since his coach clapped him on the shoulder and grinned, since the guidance counselor told him he should be so proud of himself.
He isnât sure if he is.
On the fourth day, he carries it downstairs.
His father takes the packet without ceremony, skims the first page, and scoffs.
âCalifornia,â he says flatly.
Steve nods, throat tight. âTheyâve got a really strong swim program.â
His father exhales through his nose and sets the packet down like it might stain the table.
âA public university. On the other side of the country.â
âItâsââ Steve clears his throat. âThey offered me a scholarship.â
The look he gets says more than words ever could.
âStephen,â his father says, tone perfectly level, âstate schools are for kids who donât have better options. California is lazy, full of idlers. Itâs not the kind of place where you get serious about your future.â
Steve feels a familiar pressure building up in his chest, hand around his ribs, that same old relentless squeeze.
âReal academics are here, on the East Coast," his father continues. âInstitutions with standards. History. You donât see men running this country who went to beach schools.â
âDad,â Steve says quietly. âI worked for this. I earned it.â
His father doesnât even look up. âYou were recruited. Because you can swim.â
Steveâs fingers curl around the edge of the chair, knuckles whitening beneath the table.
âIâm not paying for you to run off to California,â his father says, voice precise, final. âJust so you can throw parties and chase girls and waste your life on nonsense.â
The room shrinks.
For a moment, Steve is thirteen again.
Bare feet on cold tile, begging for one last summer.
Promising heâll behave. Promising heâll try harder. Promising heâll be whatever they want him to be.
He really thought this time would be different. Thought being older meant theyâd finally listen.
Something quiet settles inside him.
âFine,â he says, pushing his chair back. âIâll pay for it myself.â
His father lets out a short laugh. âWith what money?â
Steve picks up the envelope. Feels its weight.
Possibility, distance, risk.
Hope.
âIâll figure it out.â
He doesnât wait for an answer.
He goes upstairs and starts packing that night.
âď¸
Numbers race furiously through his mind as he clears his room.
The scholarship covers some of the tuition, but not housing. Not books. Not fees.
Heâll start lifeguarding again in the summers. Take early morning shifts during the year, work weekends. Take out loans under his own name.
It wonât be easy.
But it will be his.
âď¸
He loads his entire world into the BMW.
It doesnât take long.
For someone whoâs grown up with so much, there isnât much thatâs actually his.
Clothes. Swim trophies. His alarm clock. A framed photo from a family vacation heâs too young to remember: his parents smiling, arms around each other. He hesitates, then slides it into a box face-down.
The last thing he opens is the drawer.
It sticks, like it always does.
Inside is the shoe box.
And beneath it, the gift he never got to give you. Built slowly, carefully, over summers that feel like they happened to someone else now.
He tucks them both into his duffel bag, wedged between folded clothes so they wonât shift.
His father doesnât come outside.
His mother stands at the edge of the driveway, watching him pack the car in silence. When heâs finished, she steps forward and smooths his collar the way she used to when he was little.
Then she presses a folded envelope into his hand.
Itâs heavy.
He doesnât open it. Just nods, gives her the best smile he can manage.
Closes the trunk.
Gets behind the wheel.
Looks west.
âď¸
Steve Harrington is 20 years old when his world stops for a second time.
He likes California.
The weather, the people, the food. He likes the way the air always smells like the ocean here, the way winter barely exists. He never liked the cold anyway.
College is different in ways he didnât know to expect. Heâs found classes that actually interest him, professors who ask questions and wait for real answers.
He has friends now who say theyâll see him tomorrow and mean it. Who sit on the floor with him at two in the morning talking about nothing and everything: music, stupid theories, what they want to do after graduation, whether anyone really knows who they are yet.
He still gets tired sometimes.
Tired of himself. Tired of that old, hollow echo that never fully went away. But that weight isnât constant anymore. It shifts. Recedes. It loosens its grip when heâs laughing with his roommates, tossing a beach ball across the sand, swimming lap after lap until his muscles burn and his mind goes quiet. Â Â Â
The house is packed tonight.
Last party of the school year. Spilled soda, cheap perfume, summer sweat and warm beer. Music thunders through the walls. Bodies press together, shouting and laughing over the noise.
An older teammate claps him on the back. âHarrington! Hell of a party, man.â
Steve smiles, nods, laughs along.
Canât shake off that feeling, still. That faint sense of displacement that hums under everything. Â
He drifts through the crowd, eyes unfocused, letting motion and color wash over him. Someone nearly spills a drink on his shoes. Someone dances too close. It all registers. None of it sticks.
Then, he hears it.
A laugh.
Clear. Bright. A recognition that tightens his chest before his brain can catch up.
Steve turns slowly, frowning, not sure why his body is moving toward the sound.
Near the doorway, head tipped back in laughter, hair catching the lightâ
Thereâs a girl.
Not quite a stranger. Not quite someone he knows.
Familiar in the way a dream is: sharp in feeling, slippery in detail. Memories flicker past him, too fast to grabâthe curve of a smile, the tilt of a headâdissolving like sand through his fingers.
He stares without meaning to.
You turn.
Your eyes find his.
Your drink freezes halfway to your lips. Confusion flickers across your face, soft and fleeting.
Then recognition.
Disbelief.
â...Stevie?â
Something in his chest detonates.
The hollow feeling heâs been carrying shatters into a thousand fragments of warmth and longing he didnât know heâd been saving.
You step closer, eyes wide, face lit with a smile he hasnât seen in years but never truly forgot.
âOh my god,â you breathe, half-laughing. âItâs you.â
Steve canât speak.
His throat closes. The world narrows.
Heâs thirteen again, standing barefoot on cold tile, begging for a summer that never came.
Heâs ten, sunburned and breathless, watching fireworks bloom in your eyes.
Heâs six, running barefoot toward the sound of your laughter, sand sticking to his ankles.
Heâs five, staring up at a girl with a bucketful of stolen seashells, telling him heâs digging wrong.
Heâs a lonely kid on the beach, carving crooked shapes into the sand, waiting for someone to come find him.
And you did.
You always did.
The cup slips from his hand. Beer splashes across the floor, unnoticed.
He whispers your name.
A decade of wanting, released in one sound.
âď¸
â...Hi.â
â...Hi.â
âHowââ
âWhatââ
He laughs, scrubs a hand through his hair, suddenly nervous in a way he hasnât felt in years. His palms are damp, heart stumbling over itself.
âSorry,â he says, shaking his head. âI justâI canât believe youâre actuallyââ
You surge forward and wrap your arms around his neck, tight enough to knock the air from his lungs.
âOh my god,â you whisper against his ear, voice breaking. âI missed you.â
For a second, Steve just stands there.
Stricken. Breathless. His brain lagging behind what his heart already knows.
Then his arms come upâslowly, instinctively, carefully folding around you. He lowers his head, presses his nose into your shoulder, breathing you in like proof.
He doesnât say I missed you too.
It wouldnât be enough. Wouldnât come close. Wouldnât touch the years, the distance, everything heâs lost and carried and never learned how to put down. How your memory has lived inside him like a second spine, holding him upright when nothing else did.
Instead, he tightens his grip and whispers:
âIâm sorry.â
You donât say itâs okay.
But you let out a soft breath and pull him closer, arms firm around his shoulders.
And that, more than words, feels like forgiveness.
âď¸
The place is called Scoops Ahoy.Â
Steve hasnât been inside it in years, but the second he steps through the door, it all comes rushing back.
The headache-bright fluorescents. The aggressively nautical theme: ropes and anchors, boat-shaped displays that never quite made sense. The faint, permanent stickiness of the floor, no matter how often it gets mopped.
He worked here his freshman year, back when he was desperate for cash and all the good jobs were taken by upperclassmen with better timing. It had been fine. Mind-numbing, but fine. The ice cream was decent if you ignored the dĂŠcor and the way the lighting made everyone look a little sickly. Â
At this hour, itâs dead.
Completely empty except for the girl working the registerâshort, sandy-brown hair, half-slouched over the counter as she flips through a comic, clearly counting down the seconds until closing.
But Steve can't bring himself to focus on any of it.
Because youâre here.
Youâre actually here, leaning over the glass case, eyes flicking back and forth between flavors like this is the most important decision youâve made all day. You bite your lip and his eyes follow the movement, unbidden.
He canât stop staring.
The whole thing feels surreal, like a fever dream his brain stitched together out of old memories and wishful thinking. Â
Like he might blink and youâll disappear.
But the details are all the same.
The way you tilt your head when youâre thinking. The faint crease between your eyebrows when youâre overanalyzing something that really shouldnât matter this much. The way your mouth presses into that familiar line when you canât decide.
And when you glance back at him, eyes warm and expectant, that exact same light glows there.Â
You smile. âWhatâre you getting?â
Steve blinks, realizing heâs been staring for way too long. He clears his throat and forces himself to look down at the ice cream like he hasnât seen this exact lineup a hundred times before.
âUh,â he says, squinting thoughtfully. âThe salted caramelâs usually pretty good.â
âOoh.â You nod, completely serious. âYeah, that does sound good.â
He smiles before he can stop himself.
His eyes flick up to the menu on the wall, scanning for something he half-hopes they got rid of. But noâthere it is, in all its over-the-top glory.
The Triple Decker Extravaganza.
âWhy donât we just get the sundae?â he offers. âThat way you can pick whatever you want.â
You turn to him, eyes lighting up. âReally?â
âYeah,â he grins. âGo nuts.â
Your face brightens instantly, and something in his chest goes warm as he watches you lean forward again, picking out flavors, debating them out loud.
Steve just stands there, smiling like an idiot.
When he pulls out his wallet without thinking, you donât stop him.
âThanks,â you say softly, glancing at him.
âDonât mention it.â
He shoots the girl behind the register an apologetic look as he pays, knows this orderâs a nightmare. Hot fudge, caramel, whipped cream, cherries. Those stupid little sail-shaped cone pieces that always break in half. He slips an extra ten into the tip jar, and her expression improves instantly.
The sundae arrives in a ridiculous plastic boat, wobbling under the weight of it all.
You laugh, delighted, as Steve carefully carries it over to the counter by the window. You hop up onto a stool, legs swinging as you settle in.
Outside, the street is calm, washed in neon and soft sodium light. The glass reflects both of you faintly, past and present overlapping in double exposure.
Steve sits beside you, close enough that your shoulders almost brush.
You start asking questions the same way you always did, listening like every answer matters. Â
âWhatâs your major?â
âBusiness,â he shrugs, digging his spoon into the ice cream. âBut⌠I donât know. Iâve been thinking about switching. I like my psych classes way more than econ.â
âReally? What kind of psych?â
âDevelopmental stuff, mostly. Kids, families. That kind of thing.â
You nod, thoughtful, spoon hovering midair. âYouâd be really great with kids.â
He lets out a surprised laugh. âYeah? I mean... I donât know.â
âNo, Iâm serious,â you insist, turning on your stool to face him. âYouâve always been patient. Youâre a great listener. You care.â Â
He blinks, goes quiet. Looks at you for a beat too long before remembering to glance away.
âThanks⌠uh, what about you?â
You tell him about your classes, your roommates. The professor who assigns too much reading. The weird smell in your dorm hallway no one can identify. How the ocean never really gets old, even when you see it every day.
âSo,â you ask eventually, tilting your head. âHowâd you end up picking a school all the way out here?â
Steve stirs the melted ice cream with his spoon, not meeting your eyes.
âI donât know. I mean, the scholarship helped, but I guess I just wanted somewhere warmer. Closer to the water.â
He doesnât say how much of it was quiet, impossible hope.
Doesnât say how a tiny part of him thought maybe, just maybe, heâd find you here.
âYou know,â he says after a moment, voice lower, âI shouldâve asked for your phone number back then. Or your address. Or... something.â He huffs out a breath. âI donât know why I didnât.â
âHey,â you slide your hand over his, squeezing once. âWeâre here now. Right?â
He nods, throat tight. âYeah.â
You smile and return to the ice cream. He does too.
A new song crackles over the speakers, and you start humming along absentmindedly. It takes him a second to realize what it is.
Edge of Seventeen.
Stevie Nicks.
He meets your eyes.
Feels something click, then.
Heâs never really believed in fate.
But if there were ever a reason to try, a reason to hope in a world that so often disappoints, he thinks that reason would be you.
âď¸
When the ice creamâs gone and the girl behind the counter starts wiping things down a little too pointedly, you hop off the stool. Â
June nights in Santa Barbara are warm, carrying faint traces of salt from the ocean. You stop beneath the neon glow of the marquee outside, the lights painting your silhouette in soft blues and pinks.
Steveâs heart stutters.
What happens now?
He's dreading the ending; there are years stretched between you now, whole versions of you heâs never met. So much left to ask, to know. To say.
He rubs the back of his neck.
âItâs late,â he says. âI should probably let you go. Maybe I could get your dormâs phone number? Or we could grab lunch sometiââ
Youâre smiling when you kiss him.
Up on your toes, fingers clutching the front of his shirt as you pull him down. Your lips taste sweet: strawberry and chocolate, cherry and vanilla. Every flavor, because you couldnât decide. Because he wanted to share.
The neon hums above you. The world narrows again.
This kiss lasts longer than the last one he shared with you. Long enough for him to cup your cheek, to brush his thumb along your jaw, to realize, distantly, how much better he is at this now.
He knows how to angle his head just right, slant his lips to deepen the press, to pull you closer by the small of your back and have you flush against him.
When you pull back, he chases your lips all the way until you've dropped back onto your heels.
You blink your eyes open, tongue darting over your lip like youâre tasting him, too.
He has to force himself to step back, fight the urge to lean in again.
You both speak at once.
âSoâ"
âWould youââ
He laughs. âSorry. You first.â
You laugh too, shaking your head. âI was just gonna ask if you wanted to come back to mine. My roommates are gone for the weekend.â
He stares at you, stunned. Hopes the neon glow is bright enough to wash out the red rushing to his cheeks.
âYeah,â he manages. âSure. Yeah. Okay.â
You smile and reach for his hand, threading your fingers through his.
You donât let go.
He definitely does not let go.
âď¸
Youâre kissing him the moment the door clicks shut.
Thereâs no pause, no awkward second-guessingâjust the soft thud of the door and then youâre there, hands fisted in his shirt, lips warm and insistent against his. Itâs messy and eager, teeth knocking, breath tangling, soft laughter trapped between two mouths as he murmurs, We shouldâwe should probably slow down, even as heâs nudging his sneakers off with his heel.
Your apartment is small in the best way, quiet and lived-in. Soft amber lamplight, a throw blanket folded over the couch, lingering scents of citrus and cinnamon. Steve takes it in only in flashes, details flickering at the edges of his vision before your fingers slide back into his hair and the rest of the world drops away.
Clothes come off in a scattered trail to your bedroom.
Your jeans get kicked aside in the hallway. His shirt gets stuck halfway over his head and he has to pull back, laughing breathlessly while you help tug it free, your hands warm against his sides. He keeps his lips pressed to yours as he guides you backward, hands around your waist, bumping his shoulder in the doorframe and grinning like an idiot.
Itâs not until youâre straddling him that he really stops.
Until heâs sitting on your bed, your sheets rumpled under his hands, your pillow pressed against his back.
Youâre in his lap in nothing but your underwear, knees snug around his hips, solid and warm and real.
Steve looks down.
Feels it hit him all at once.
He hasnât done this in a while. Hasnât had a real girlfriend in college, too busy chasing grades, covering rent, picking up shifts whenever he could. A few dates here and thereâawkward dinners, polite kissesânothing that ever stayed.
Nothing that felt like this.
Your hand comes up, soft and sure, brushing along his cheek.
âHey,â you murmur. âYou okay?â
He swallows.
Steve doesnât know if there is a word for what heâs feeling. Okay feels laughably small for whatâs sitting in his chest right now, this swelling mix of affection and disbelief and something like gratitude.
âYeah,â he starts, instinctively reaching for easy words. Fine. Good. All good.
Then he stops, shakes his head. Why hold back? Why say anything less than the truth? Â Â
âGod, I justââ He exhales, voice thick, heart full, "I canât believe I found you.â
Your expression softens, eyes shining as you lean down to kiss him again.
And that, more than words, feels like being found right back.
âď¸
What happens next is a slow unlearning of loneliness.
A careful dismantling of habits built around absence, years of swallowed affection and muted instincts.
Steve Harrington has learned to hush the restless stirrings of his heart, to press down the parts that ache too loudly, that reach too far, that insist on wanting. Heâs gotten good at filling his days with noise, instead. Convinced himself that wanting too much is the same as wanting wrong. That loneliness is a failing, something you earn by expecting more than youâre allowed to have.
He's blamed himself for it for as long as he can remember.
But being with you is like a light dropped straight into the darkest hollow of him, the deepest pit in the sand, a sudden clarity that leaves nowhere to hide. He realizes, with quiet devastation, just how far down the emptiness goes. How much heâs learned to live without.
And now, here, with you, he has to unlearn it.
It happens slowly. In inches. In pauses.
A quiet rediscovery of loving you in this new, intimate way. Â Â
He wants to know everything.
He wants to know what makes your breath hitch. What makes your fingers curl into the sheets. What makes you go quiet in that way that tells him heâs doing something right.
He kisses you constantly. Your mouth, your jaw, the soft place beneath your ear, the hollow at your throatâfamiliar paths he remembers tracing once upon a time, and new ones he maps with reverent patience.
He slides down over your stomach, kissing his way lower, gaze fixed on the heavy flutter of your lashes, the swell of your ribs when you let out a pleasured sigh. He takes your hand and fists it into his hair, hoping youâll guide himâlet him learn you, let him get this right.
And when he buries his face between your thighs for the first timeânose pressing into your mound, breathing you in, tasting youâit feels like coming home.
Heâs missed this, being on his knees, giving. It used to be his favorite thing, always loved the way it quieted his mind, narrowed the world down to a single purpose. It made him feel useful, wanted.
But with you, this ritual turns into something else entirely.
He tracks your reactions with obsessive devotion: the furrow of your brow, the slow roll of your hips. The way your mouth falls open when he does something just right, when you want him to stay still, right there, exactly where you need him.
When he kisses his way back up your body, when he lines himself up with shaking hands and presses inside you, itâs face to face.
Thereâs no other way he could do it. Mouth to mouth. Forehead to forehead. Kissing, kissing, never not kissing; he needs the contact, the anchor, the constant reassurance that this is real.
That youâre here.
He wants to swallow the sounds youâre making, the way you gasp his name, and lock it inside himself. Let it sink deep, press it into bone and marrow. Carry it into that hollow place in his chest and let it bloom, fill him up until thereâs no room left for doubt.
He knows heâs not going to last very long. Youâre so soft, so wet, so impossibly beautiful, he can already feel the tension gathering low in his gut.
He only fights it long enough to get the words out.
Words that have been there for years. Pressed down, swallowed, buried under caution and embarrassment and the certainty that he always feels too much, too fast. Nobody ever wanted that kind of intensity for very long.
But heâs tired of pretending. Â
And with you, he doesnât have to.
He holds your hand against the bed, brings his forehead to yours.
The words cling to his throat, years of longing coiled tightâbut this time, he doesnât force them down.
With his lips brushing yours, he finally lets them go.
âI love you.â
The fear is instinctive. Familiar. A split-second flinch where he waits for the recoil, the moment someone decides itâs too much after all.
But it melts clean away when you answer him without hesitation, arms tightening around his neck as you kiss him back.
âI love you, too.â
And the hollow place in his chest turns into the sun once more.
âď¸
The rest of the night is spent talking.
Kissing, touching, holding, kissing some more, just because he can.
He starts with the easy things. The dumb things. Stories about bad roommates, the worst job he ever worked, the time he locked himself out of his car in the rain and had to wait two hours for a tow.
Eventually, the jokes thin out. The pauses stretch.
He shifts, breathes in, and starts talking about the things he doesnât like to think about. The quiet fears he keeps folded away. The weight of expectations, some inherited, some entirely his own. How surreal it feels to wake up as someone his younger self could never have pictured. To realize that the future he imagined so clearly onceâsimple, linear, inevitableânever actually existed.
He admits, quietly, that sometimes he worries thereâs something wrong with him.
That everyone else seems to know how to be casual about life in a way he never has. Like they can want things lightly, hold them loosely, walk away without it costing them anything.
Heâs never been built that way.
He feels things fast and deep. And for a long time, he resented it. Resented how much it hurt, how impossible it felt to turn it off.
You donât interrupt. You just listen, fingers laced through his, thumb brushing slow circles over his knuckles. Every so often, you squeeze his hand, and he squeezes back.
Once the hardest parts are out, his thoughts drift forward.
He talks about wanting a job that matters to people. That helps. Something that lets him look at himself at the end of the day and feel like he showed up right, even if he hasnât figured out what thatâs supposed to look like yet. He wants to believe thereâs a place for him in this world where caring isnât a weakness.
When the conversation lulls into silence, you tilt your head back to look up at him.
âDid you ever learn how to surf?â you ask.
âHm?â
âSurf. I remember you always wanted to see what that was like. When we were kids.â
He lets out a small smile. âNo. I mean, I thought about it, but... just never had the time. Or the balance.â Â
You hum and settle comfortably against his chest. âTomorrow.â
He blinks. âTomorrow?â
âTomorrow,â you repeat. âThereâs a part of the beach I want to show you. You have to squeeze between some rocks to get there, but it opens up into this hidden alcove. Could be like our new secret spot.â
Steve smiles into your hair, already imaging it. Doing what heâs always done: throwing himself into the picture, letting it fill him up.
Tomorrow, youâll take him to the beach.
Down between the rocks, your favorite spot.
Youâll show him where to step and where not to. Youâll rent two surfboards from that tiny shack down the road. Youâll laugh when he wipes out the second he hits the water, sputtering and embarrassed.
Youâll teach him how to stand. How to trust the water.
How to fly, just a little.
Tomorrow, heâll show you the shoebox.
The one tucked into the bottom drawer of his dresser. The one that followed him through moving days and borrowed apartments. Filled with pieces of you he never let himself leave behind.
Tomorrow, heâll give you what he couldnât at the age of thirteen.
A stack of letters, one for every year since the summer he met you. â72 all the way through â79.
He always wrote them the night before he left for the Hamptons, lying awake with his heart pounding, thinking about the long stretch of coast waiting for himâand the best friend heâd get to share it with. Â
He never found the courage to bring them with him when he was younger. But he kept writing anyway. Promising himself that, one day, heâd be brave enough to give them all to you.
He imagines sitting beside you while you read each one out loud. Smiling, shaking your head. Â
Maybe youâll tease him, call him cheesy, a hopeless romantic.
He doesnât think you will, though. He thinks youâll be gentle. He thinks youâll love him more for it.
And once that thought takes hold, the future comes rushing inâfaster, fuller, harder to stop.
He starts imagining days that stretch far beyond tomorrow, days where he wakes before you and watches the sunlight move across your face. Burnt toast and cheap coffee. Walking you home after class, fingers laced, listening to you talk about your day.
A shared place down by the water. Small, probably. Close enough to the beach that the sand never really leaves. Grocery lists on the fridge. Music playing while you cook together, bumping hips, stealing kisses.
He catches himself, shakes the thoughts loose with a soft, embarrassed breath.
Eight years is a long time to be apart. He knows thereâs still so much about you he doesnât know. True to form, heâs moving too fast, chasing desire before reason can catch up.
But eight years is also nothing.
Nothing measured against a lifetime. Nothing but a detour that still carried him back toward the main path. It only ever led to one place.
You stir softly in half-sleep, nestled beneath his arm, and Steve presses a little closer.
Sleep pulls at him too, heavy and kind.
He surrenders to it, lets it take him, because for now, itâs enough.
For now, he has tomorrow.
âď¸
In dreams, he is thirteen again.
He is twelve, he is ten, he is six, and he is five.
He is walking down a wide, endless expanse of blue, waves whispering at his feet, the sky stretching forever overhead.
And beside him, hand in hand, is his best friend in the whole world.
June 24th, 1979
Hi!
I know Iâm going to see you tomorow but I wanted to write this anyway. Sometimes when I try to say stuff out loud it doesnât come out right. I know what I meen in my head but it gets all messed up or I forget what I was going to say. Writing it down makes it better.
I wrote you a letter every summer. One for every year. So you wonât forget me and all the fun things we did and the stuff we talked about. I keep all of them in a box, kind of like how you keep all your rocks and shells. Some of the older ones are really bad and thereâs a lot of drawings and speling mistakes but maybe youâll still like them.
I think about you a lot when weâre not together. Like when something funny happens or when I see something you like. Last week I saw a picture of a crab in my science book and I thought about what name you would give it.
I really really like you. Youâre funny and nice and you understand me better than anyone else. You listen to me even when I talk too much or canât say some words right. You make me feel special. I donât have to pretend to be different or cooler or anything when Iâm with you.
Sometimes I wish I lived in Californiya so we could see each other every day. I think about that a lot. Like we could just hang out whenever we wanted. Go to the beach and do surfing and stuff. Maybe one day I could come visit you or you could come visit me.
Iâm really excited to see you tomorow. I hope you like this and I hope you don't think itâs dumb. I just want you to know how much you mean to me.
P.S. This is my adress so you can write me back if you want. 1590 willow creek lane, loch nora, hawkins, indiana 46001
P.P.S. I listened to that band you told me about. I really like the song You Make Loving Fun. It makes me think about you. Maybe we can listen to it together when I see you tomorrow?
Apparently, from what I hear people say, in the new Tumblr update, if someone reblogs your post and adds a comment of their own, that reblog is counted as a new post and it belongs to the reblogger. Not you. You, as the OP, do not get the notifications if someone else later reblogs from the person who reblogged your post with their own comment. You canât see what comments people leave on the reblogs of the post you originally made unless they reblogged directly from you.
If this is actually true, it will just open doors for harassment. And also it takes the credits away from the OPs. Tumblrâs etiquette has always been âreblog donât repostâ. So this new update, if true, contradicts the whole core values of Tumblr as a community.
Respectfully, we donât want this @staff @support @tumblr @changes please listen to your users.
Iâd also like to clarify that this is what I hear from what a lot of people are saying, and it bothers me. But if I got anything wrong, I do apologize.
As game developers continue to argue about the value of generative AI tools, some genAI inventors are trying to claim for copyright on their
"Thaler's lawyers complain that if the Copyright Office's reign of terror continues unchecked, it 'will have irreversibly and negatively impacted AI development and use in the creative industry during critically important years.'"