vampfuckr.org

[striders]

why is it called ocean spray when it’s cranberries. last i checked those do not come from the ocean

[striders]

they should call it bog spider

[redstonedust]

why do US patriots think they own "red white and blue" there's a lotta red white and blue flags out there. "i stand for the red white and blue" yass me too let's go costa rica 🇨🇷🇨🇷🇨🇷🇨🇷 let's go laos 🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦 fuck it up liberia 🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷 nepal get triangular with it 🇳🇵🇳🇵🇳🇵

[pr3ydriv3]

nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

[stupidestasshole]

the puirpose of a spider is what it does

[librarycard]

the ship of theseus wikipedia article in 2003. 20 years later, after 1792 total edits, 0% of its original phrasing remains. (x)

[ospreyonthemoon]

And yet it's still the same article, the article designated to be about theseus' ship. Debate solved i guess

[creepymutelilbugger]

easy as fuck . were they stupid?

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

the guy who designed scythes definitely knew that shit was badass. he didnt care about wheat

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[pukicho]

The peaceful deer lives her whole life not knowing what war is

[hurtmitcrab]

Wrong again, piss boy.

[pukicho]

Okay those deer knew war, but most don't

[ashes2caches]

puppy, stop it. you can’t give mommy road head right now. there’s fucking black ice.

[slaygentford]

'why does lestat see claudia as a romantic rival when louis is gay it makes no sense' girl because he is insane. because he is fucking insane. because he is stephen king amy dunne last ten minutes of hereditary crazy. because he is mommy dearest the shining silence of the lambs hitchcock blonde norman bates unwell.

[pangur-and-grim]

alright so Pangur got her claw stuck while rolling over in bed, and then just GAVE UP, which led to her being horizontally flattened in a way that gives her impossible girth and...... I'll share, but just know that it's an optical illusion. please. I swear to god she's a healthy weight. I mean, a little chubby, but not like this.

[pangur-and-grim]

here

[pangur-and-grim]

so for some reason you have all crucified her

(image credit: spaceyalien, trollrider1111, darkhumanbiscuitlawyer, spocktopodes, gilithan, alwaysrebloggingcreatures, lesbian-moon-gf, azaluna, ye3honk, crutchie-morris, eclecticelectriceccentric, cyber-cuck)

[pangur-and-grim]

good news, everyone! I found a second photo of the incident

[pangur-and-grim]

.......I fucked up so bad.

I've been teaching Belphie not to jump on Pangur, cause she's old and arthritic and doesn't like it. and as part of my "training", I've been giving him a treat every times he stops his evil actions and trots over to me.

I thought I was training him to come when called. in actuality, I've been training him to bite Pangur. so now he'll jump on her, chew her ear, and then make bird-of-prey eye contact with me from across the room. and the worst thing is I'VE ALSO BEEN GIVING PANGUR A TREAT EACH TIME (so she doesn't feel left out). which means that she'll whimper pathetically from Belphie biting her, and then also make intense eye contact with me, because she's been conditioned to expect treats afterward.

I have accidentally made the most fucked up dynamic possible with both of these cats.

[pangur-and-grim]

literally trained them both to perform seasons greasons. this is horrible

[junk-thunder]

come back my scarab

[junk-thunder]

please come back my scarab

[junk-thunder]

i,m so fuckign sorryy my scarab

[bisexualgoth]

monday affirmations

- i am not tired

- eight hours is not that long

- i slept well the night before

- the only reward for hard work is more work

- i feel well rested

- the 40 hours workweek will collapse in my lifetime

- i definitely got enough sleep

[sneef-to-a-snorf-fight]

ground control to crazy frog

[johnbottoms]

thsi is literally fucking killing me

[catboycrack]

If I was a vampire I'd always go for the femoral artery so I could feed from between the thighs and stick my face in my victims crotch and lick and drain them and the other vampires would all think I was weird and I'd say stuff like "no bro it's just slightly less oxygenated so it has a better flavor it's more subtle" and they'd all say it's just a weird sex thing and they'd be right