b l u r r y f a c e

roman stone // 19 i ponder of something great. my lungs will fill and then ( deflate ) , they fill with fire, exhale desire, i know it's d i r e, my time today. i have these thoughts so often i ought to replace that slot with what i once bought 'cause somebody stole my car radio and now i just sit in ( s i l e n c e ) sometimes quiet is v i o l e n t , i find it hard to hide it, my pride is no longer inside. it's on my sleeve, my skin will scream ! reminding me of who I ( k i l l e d ) inside my dream. i hate this car that i'm driving there's no hiding for me i'm f o r c e d to deal with what i feel. there is no distraction to mask what is ( real ). i could pull the steering w h e e l.

[coolsuggestion]

it’s a scary thing, letting someone in all over again.

[oproman-blog]

*ﾟ░ ☾｡ imessage (marisol ; )

marisol: thanks but no thanks

roman: you don't even know what it is

[oproman-blog]

*ﾟ░ ☾｡ imessage (open ; )

roman: hey

roman: do you maybe possibly want a car

[anyaft]

“i do care. i care about you more than anything i’ve ever cared about anyone else. and.. and i feel like shit because when we’re together i don’t really treat you like i care, or show you that i care. and i’m - i’m sorry.”

“thank you.”

[anyaft]

“..i don’t know how.”

“i see.”

[anyaft]

“sarcasm is my defense mechanism, sorry. fine, whatever. i’ll prove it.”

“i’m waiting.”

[anyaft]

“your imagination must not be all that great then.”

“god - can't you take this seriously? just fucking prove that you care.”

[cxva-blog]

either i’m catching a cold or my body just wants me to be miserable

[oproman-blog]

“darn.”

[anyaft]

“you can’t put all of this on me. i don’t do this, roman. i’m not used to this.”

“’all of this’? all you have to do is prove you care. i can’t imagine that it’s hard enough for someone like you to figure out.”

[anyaft]

“how am i supposed to do that?”

“that’s for you to decide. that is, if you do.”

[anyaft]

“i do care, roman. i do.”

“then fucking prove it.”

[anyaft]

“Well? Get to talking.”

“why? every time i think of you - how fucking destructive you are, how every time you look at me you fucking rip me to shreds, i still find myself in your presence. it’s fucked up. we’re fucked up. and i hate you for how you make me feel. that despite the pain i’m in physically and emotionally all that’s in my god damn brain is your stupid, stupid fucking face. and it’s not fair. you just leave and don’t give a shit about me and lie me, saying you still care. and i fucking hate you for it.”

[anyaft]

“Because I told you to.”

[anyaft]

“You have to tell me how you feel about me.”

“Why would I do that?”

[mybeautifulkingdom]

[coranandlime-blog]

[anyaft]

“That’s all you have to say?”

“What would you like me to say?”