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ml, tme, adult, 中文/eng

[ewaneneollav]

to barely experience anything during the fleeting period of life before you inevitably deconstruct experience itself. & hypothetically there might still be some part of you who wishes morosely that they could have had more experiences while experience still mattered. but even this hypothetical part of you is absenr, because you know that even if many things had happened  back then you would still now be in a present where those things only felt like past illusions that had now fallen away. even if that past version of yourself had been more nourished, that past version would still be a memory. you cannot pine for something that you no longer care about, not even in the retrospective frame of a time when you did care about it. & yet there still might be some more primordial part of you that resists being explained in these terms & is still crying

[cali]

history of speech bubbles

[fairycosmos]

i noticed my horrible patterns! i think the process stops there

[decompose1]

girls i know accusations of racism can occasionally be falsely leveraged against trans women in order to discredit them and this Is Bad but this does notttt actually mean that you can just ignore the racism in the community like it doesn't exist. because racism exists in all communities and lately it is Nightmarish to be a nonwhite doll. i have experienced really glaring racism in several transfem spaces and there's been this really kind of awful attitude or like idea enforced that i shouldn't talk about it because speaking up could socially murder another tgirl. and that's really bad. that's really really bad. like it's really bad that i'm hesitant to even post this because of the scrutiny we're under. and yes the fact that it is so dangerous to speak up is because of the massive amounts of surveillance & transmisogyny we're facing but that just CAN'T mean racism gets a pass, okay? BIPOC girls are not expendable and you can't keep throwing us under the bus.

but i know calls to action without any kind of instruction aren't very helpful so here are some tips that i think you can easily do yourself with your own circles:

1) Staring off simple: Look around. Are there any BIPOC girls in your friend group, or are all of you white? Why? Do you often joke about everyone in your friend group being white? Why is that funny?

What to do: Examine why there are no people of color in your group. Examine why people of color may not be comfortable enough to hang out with you & your friends. Correct these, where possible. Do some reading on anti-racism. Talk to more people.

2) Examine how you talk about people of color & racism. Are you downplaying racism in your community? Are you treating women of color as dramatic or unreasonable for bringing it up? Do you find yourself only defending white dolls, always defending them from claims of racism, but never defending BIPOC dolls? Why?

What to do: Think about why you care more about accusations of racism than protecting the women of color in your community. Make sure you're making your space safe for BIPOC girls. Speak openly and loudly about anti-racism. Hold your sisters accountable- they should be apologizing when they say or do something wrong.

3) This one might sound silly, but as we often meet each other over fandom and roleplay- how are nonwhite characters treated in your circle? Are they always aggressive, angry, or antagonistic? Do you find yourself putting nonwhite characters in more roles like cops, dictators, sex pests, etc?

Additionally: If your circle shares sexual content, is there a lot of art where there's a pale/blonde character on the bottom, and a darker character on top? Are you and your friends always drawing darker characters as more dominant, more sexually aggressive, or promiscuous, while the white/pale characters are more innocent, submissive, modest, or clueless?

What to do: Examine how the way your group approaches fandom & art with nonwhite characters in it may make people of color uncomfortable. Examine why your art may make people of color feel unsafe or awkward hanging out with you. It's not wrong to have the occasional character of color be more antagonistic or dominant, but it's a problem when this is a pattern. If it's happening All The Time, question why!

4) Be honest with yourself: Did this post make you feel defensive? Does it make you feel defensive when people say something you did was racist? Why?

If a person of color tells you your actions were racist, they trust you to improve. I don't tell people they're being racist if i think they're going to hurt me for bringing it up. I know many like me. Don't prove us wrong- take these criticisms into account and work on it. You aren't cursed to be some kind of terrible bigot forever because you messed up- panicking without action is useless. Just be sure you examine the behavior in question and work to prevent this kind of thing from happening again. Okay?

I believe all these things are easy enough to check with yourself & your friends. Please work on making yourself & your group safe for girls who aren't white.

[communistkenobi]

I had a lot of/still have some vestigial arrogance about quantitative methods over qualitative ones, probably in a combination of scientific misogyny + STEMlord superiority. But doing regression analysis and quant-heavy data analysis makes me realise more and more that you can justify basically any claim with numbers, and that you can construct your research in such a way as to output the numbers you want. which does not mean that all data are made up or that quantitative knowledge is all false. I think stories about scientists straight up inventing numbers or fudging experiments on purpose prove that there is a real difference between fraudulent and non-fraudulent research. but those data must always be narrativised & are always already narrativised. The act of presenting numbers itself is doing some of that narration because you’re already arguing that these numbers are worth presenting

[communistkenobi]

People in the notes are rightfully pointing out common issues with data manipulation and pre-loaded conclusions in scientific research (i.e., the academic version of asking "so, how often do you beat your wife?" and so on), but I should have clarified that I'm not really talking about that. I'm talking about completely legitimate, above-board scientific research.

For example, I've had students ask me (in good faith) how it was possible for international medical bodies to report different counts of COVID-19 cases during the early years of the pandemic. And one of the answers is that you need to first define what you mean by a "COVID-19 case." Do you include self-reported incidences? Waste water data? Geo-fenced social media posts about people complaining about their coronavirus symptoms? Federal estimates? Hospital data? How do you compare countries/territories/substate entities with mandatory reporting mechanisms vs countries/territories/substate entities that rely only on voluntary self-reported cases? And what combination of these do you use? How you construct what you mean by "case" is going to impact the outcomes you report. These different counts of COVID-19 cases can all be true simultaneously, not because numbers are made up, but because they all come out of different methodologies that can be equally valid.

And this is true across all science, not just social science. Bill Clinton said it best lol: "it depends on what your definition of the word 'is' is." This feels obvious when you look at scientific research that uses "skull measurements" as their object of analysis - the concept itself is white supremacist, regardless of how "sound" the research is. But even something as apparently self-evident as a COVID-19 case still requires a definition, and how you define your variables is necessarily going to impact how the research goes and what conclusions are drawn.

These definitions are always embedded in political & social assumptions. And again, this does not mean that science is all made up or nonsense or whatever. There is a widespread fetishism of "objective knowledge" that is itself ideological - the idea that knowledge can be divorced from all historical and political contexts, that you can scrub bias from research and simply report the facts. Valuable, well-supported, well-constructed scientific research is always embedded in these contexts. Not just as a result of researcher assumptions, but of the material context it exists in - what research resources are available, how & what research gets funded, the academy's relationship to the state & non-government bodies that both provide data and use that research to inform policy, the historical relationships universities often have with settler-colonialism and imperialism that give them access to "foreign" research subjects, etc etc etc.

So my overall point (which I didn't communicate well) is that data can always say what you want to some extent, for good and for ill. And research results (at least in my experience) tend to surprise you in ways that require explanations, which themselves can be fully justified, but again, exist within many different contexts that influence how you interpret them - and not just the results themselves, but your own surprise at your results

[weepyemperor]

doc, my advice fetish is taking over my life, i just dont know what to do.......... (lecherous look appears in my eye)

[crazysodomite]

i'm against happiness💢

i'm against hope💢

i'm against enjoyment 💢

for myself. idrc what other people do

[crazysodomite]

is it moe to be abused

lets discuss

[optical-trapping]

Admittedly the little walk in shops where they track what to charge you through 10000 security cameras feeding into object tracking ai are a liftle unnerving

[yharnam-is-a-fuck]

[fial-inka]

the signal catcher 📡

[meroru]

[yellow-cat]

i have wild sentences roaming through me at all times

[doll-shell]

it’s really problematic of you to maintain the harmful binary of “you” and “not-you”. literally just join the hive already.

[soup-mother]

I just think maybe you should stop making definitive claims about the "innate human need" for x immaterial thing. It's not really provable. I get what you're trying to get at but you can just word it differently and it'll be more accurate.

[nimcest]

That day you realized you can just beat the shit out of people until they pass out or die.

[maxbanshees]

back of the canvas

watercolor, gouache, and graphite on paper (saunders waterford, hot press, 638gsm)

11 x 15 in / 27.94 x 38.1 cm