Relax~~~~~~~~~Relax

Heya! I'm Alex. A dude. Enjoy your visit. Might occasionally have some NSFW-ish stuff.

[cryptotheism]

The funniest thing you can add to any piece of media is a boy detective. Breaking Bad needed a 13 year old child who goes around looking for clues to the caper and whatnot.

[aflo]

Hank

[killerqueenmp3]

[laura-the-swarming]

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

[drchucktingle]

taking a break from tour posting for this important reminder

[darksouls2-gendercoffin]

can I come over and dodge roll into all your breakable furniture

[maidthings]

my 37 year old vampire girlfriend keeps telling me i simply don't understand the woes of immortality as if I didn't also own a VHS player or visit a blockbuster a few times as a kid

[maidthings]

she keeps staring off into the distance saying those shit like "those as youthful as you know not what horrors lie in your past" even though we both know damn well she's talking about the 2008 financial crash

[darkcomedies-deactivated2022042]

recontextualizing fry and leela as an annoying but earnest twitch streamer and his inexplicably hot and intimidating girlfriend

[darkcomedies-deactivated2022042]

no actually. recontextualizing fry and leela as an esports champion turned twitched streamer and her boyfriend who is just kind of there on stream sometimes and has his own emote

[darkcomedies-deactivated2022042]

fry: [gets home from work and accidentally wanders into frame]

the chat: FRY 🍟🍟🍟🍟 [pog] 🍟🍟🍟 he’s back 🍟[pog]🍟[pog]🍟 WHAT IS THAAAAAAAT 🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟 mad lad 🍟 how was ur day fry 🍟🍟 FRY b3nd3r(mod): LEELA PUT A LOCK ON YOUR FUCKING DOOR 🍟🍟🍟 am i supposed to know who that is or [pog] [pog] 🍟 OH NO HE’S UGLY 🍟🍟🍟🍟 [b3nd3r has set the chat to subscribers-only]

[artofcereal]

op im deeply sorry but this post has been haunting me for weeks

[foone]

The three types of kink are

* you have power

* you're safe

* feet

[foone]

this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):

You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.

You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.

Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.

[foone]

"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).

[sleepydogdisease]

oh no, animal ears are feet

[foone]

yeah. cat ears are feet!

[mere-technicality]

can someone turn this into the calvin's dad dialogue

[foone]

oh god, this is so obviously calvin's dad dialogue that now I'm worried that I plagiarized it without realizing it

[itsmsdirection]

this post was rattling around in my head

[angelsaxis]

Today on Hozier liked

[transfemininomenon]

op turned off blogs on one of my favorite posts so here it is again

[segamascott]

[edenunderfallout]

[badassdemonsword]

Heated rivalry shouldve been about 2 ugly old guys that play mahjong then maybe id consider watching it

[krownest]

i don't remember them playing mahjong but they do other old man things like going to the wet market together and drinking soup and taking walks. anyway go watch suk suk / twilight's kiss

[krownest]

"ok but where's the old chinese lesbians" go watch all shall be well. it's by the same director and the old chinese lesbians are also at the market

[catchymemes]

[raisondetriment]

[madeofklay]

My personal brand of humor is "horrible, useless advice delivered in an authoritative way" and this is the result of it

[parkchanwoohoo]

[eeveestho]

ok but the full translation is also extremely good

[human-pet-girl]

that translation is accurate except for that last part. pflegestufe doesnt really translate to a state of need, its moreso means that the weed would leave you disabled in a way that makes you legally eligible for care or assistance

[dwinkus]

nonlocal area code = hang up. obvious telemarketer

local area code = hang up. this one is also a telemarketer but trying to be sneaky

never answer the phone ever

[cigarettesforcats]

this is why everyone on this website is a virgin

[dwinkus]

I’m not gonna fuck the telemarketer man

[the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99]

[probably-bad-gundam-ideas]

I'm choosing believe the life life cycle of amphibious mobile suits in your AU works like the joke in the Gundam-san manga

Hold on I need to look something up

[probably-bad-gundam-ideas]

Okay yeah that’s funny as hell

[probably-bad-gundam-ideas]

The have like 8 pages dedicated to this bit. I love it

Bonus very good image from Gundam-san

[probably-bad-gundam-ideas]

THEY’RE BACK

From Volume 5, Chapter 58

[allsadnshit]

Sometimes I randomly remember how the most important people of my life from like 6-7 years ago are not in my life at all anymore and that's sort of terrifying and also crazy to realize how you actually can survive loss beyond your comprehension and find happiness stronger and more suited for you if you keep going