Orchid

She/her | Queer | My only skill is pretending that I have other skills

[maythray]

"the three dots on the side" call her by her REAL NAME.. Meatballs Menu

[maythray]

im gonna say it now so everyone in my notes stops arguing over this. meatballs menu is three dots side-by-side. kebab menu is three dots up and down. bento menu is an array of 9 dots in a square shape. hamburger menu is three lines horizontally. Yes there are others but none of them are nearly as prevalent so i dont care enough to list them. goot bye

[gauntletqueen]

Literally what they're called btw this post isn't a bit

[ailurinae]

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

Computer programmers are perpetually famished

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

[sparrowlucero]

the among us show being a total gorefest on par with john carpenter's the thing is a really fun choice

[sparrowlucero]

the among us show having a gay orgy in the middle of it is another really fun choice

[sparrowlucero]

realizing many people don't know about infinity train creator owen dennis' among us show from years ago, which has been trapped in unreleased limbo all this time and was just dumped on streaming this morning with no advertisement. they don't even know about its weirdly stacked cast

[iwilleatyourenglish]

[iwilleatyourenglish]

he had a dream that five strangers silently entered his home and gently helped him pull on a pair of high waisted jeans, which caused him to wake up with a feeling of “indescribable dread”

[bewbin]

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

[zephyrusphi]

yuo cant say this during plague month

[zephyrusphi]

pride month. pharohs curse got me

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[indigobuntings]

I can't believe home depot literally produced a wildly successful science fiction musical and we all just pretend it didn't happen. on one hand yes it had a boring white guy main character but like.... home depot just... Made it? And it had shit ton of box office sales? and no one even talks about this. this is like avatar (2009) all over again

[indigobuntings]

OK so. After a lot of frantic googling I realized this was all a dream. home depot did not in fact produce a wildly successful science fiction musical. I was on allergy meds and took a nap and my brain simply prophesized this. slightly disappointed because I wanted to watch it.

[krchov]

(by @galwednesday)

[fishpondfish]

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

[mousidy]

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

[campyvillain]

i know this please help me

[campyvillain]

if you seek skeek at my slorse you hate me at my worst

[campyvillain]

HOW THE FUCK DOES THE SYAING GO

[campyvillain]

cool news i think i have some thing wrong with me

[clearlyautomaticpainter]

[guava-jarritos]

[campyvillain]

it happened again

[strayyvoxel]

SILLY LARRY AND THE FLOATING PUSSY

[fitzjubi-deactivated20230204]

[campyvillain]

new development in my brain loss story: i deadass just forgot what jerma was called

[campyvillain]

i couldn’t make this up if i tried

[authoratmidnight]

i still have NO idea what OP means by 'Jerma'. That's, not a thing. I just get random twt account when I google the name.

[campyvillain]

i wish i was you.

[campyvillain]

hey guys great news. guess who saw a doctor recently and it turns out my shitty comprehension skills that coincidentally got worse around the same time i got hit in the head with a spinning loose bench board in middle school probably wasnt just an autism thing and chances are i have aphasia that’s just been unchecked this whole time

[wisflight]

I hope OP is okay but my god am I dying of laughter

[sic-semper-hominibus]

#OP I’m glad you got help and I’m sorry that happened to you #but your aphasia has made me weep with laughter

[unholyblissafterdark]

[eschocat]

Pee changing color depending on ur hydration is very intuitive game desigm

[nenastrology]

light was such a loser cuz he didnt just google the 100 richest people and start writing down names

[wyrmzone]

how would you feel if you woke up tomorrow and find out exactly 100 of the world’s richest people died of heart attacks at exactly noon universal time. can you imagine the theories. light is absolutely a loser for not doing this

[jotaillustrator]

[exigencelost]

[ID: Reply from elumind that says: “Do the richest one every week and see next in line lose their shit and try to get rid of the money. I think of this almost daily.” /end ID.]

The notes on this are wild because people are legit passionately arguing about why this wouldn’t work. No one said it would work. They said he’s a loser for not doing it.

[athingofvikings]

There has to be a *pattern* to it, though, to really get their attention. Like it has to be the same time of day, the same day, each week.

[hazeldomain]

The first one stands up and draws a massive A on the nearest wall before dropping dead. 

Exactly one week later, Thursday at 3:13 PM, the next one looks up, blank-faced, and uses a car key to scratch the word ‘CAMEL’ into the side of their car. There are memes. 

The week after that, in the middle of an interview, the third victim turns to the camera and says ‘THROUGH.’ He drops dead. 

The man who writes “EYE” is in a private underground bunker. Enough radiation shielding to survive a direct nuclear strike. There are fifteen guards posted at the door- surveillance confirms not one of them left their post. 

By the time “NEEDLE” is scratched into the upholstery of a private yacht, people are starting to give money away. 

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Like most of us I’ve thought extensively on this since I first saw Death Note and came to the conclusion that the most likely reaction would be people creating more byzantine ways of keeping hold of their resources while not technically counting them as personal resources and not technically being so rich. With enough shell companies, fake charities, and resources stashed in secret or illegal places or the bank accounts of relatives, people could keep most of what they have while dropping right off any list of wealthiest people. The wealthy are often experts at this for tax fraud reasons. Light’s response, of course, would be to start taking these things into account, seeking out hackers and accountants and various other experts to keep track of the actual wealthiest, and the wealthy (many of whom would be willing to risk their lives to stay that way) would use the dying as a metric for what the mysterious killer was using to score wealth and try to find ever more secret methods of resource hoarding. An accountancy arms race would be underway.

I’m not saying it’s a bad idea. I’m saying it would make a fantastic Death Note rewrite. Instead of Light making stupid mistakes against L, he could actually put his genius to work in Death Note: The Accountancy Wars.

[aro-narcissus]

Starting a collection

[charlesoberonn]

♫ It's fun to stay at the ♫

[victusinveritas]

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

"lupita nyong'o can't be helen of troy because helen was greek and there weren't black people in ancient greece"

DO YOU THINK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDNT HAVE BOATS. THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS AND HIS BOAT

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

do you think these people can read

[phoenix]

Best comment I just saw "Helen of Troy was perfectly cast, because all these men are fighting about her."

[followthebluebell]

I was worried when he didn't rush out to greet me immediately but it was just because he was cozy.

[literary-sparks]

“Why don’t you use ai” idk man beyond the obvious environmental and “this machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselves” thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid