Ripley’s Believe It Or Kill Yourself

Icon from BLEACH You’ve met me at a very Gin Ichimaru time in my life Transwoman Kisuke Truther I’m 20 ACHILLES - he/it/creeps/she dyke Don’t use they/them for me. Alleged Bisexual Voted most likely to scare the hoes Certified hater of anything that even remotely gets on my nerves. TERFS will be told to kill themselves and subsequently blocked.

[dykeza]

GO READ MY FIC BOY!!!!!

AkonGinZuru realness 4 today. Tomorrow? Idk Akon’s birthday is on the 29th so he’s getting destroyed posthaste. Cheers!

[mavigation]

that feeling when your laundry comes out of the dryer damp

[reptile-ruler]

Sometimes a guy in a fanfiction has the ability to read someone's gaze with the same level of detail a wine taster can taste the wine

[reptile-ruler]

"He glared at him with anger in his eyes, but behind that longing and sorrow over things left unsaid, a subtle but desperate yearning for things to be different, and with just a hint of roasted nuts right at the end."

[harpieisthecarpie]

we've all heard about the male gaze in media, but we've yet to explore the equally important sommelier gaze

[reptile-ruler]

the only fun addition to this post

[msmimundo]

Girl that's literally Perry the platypus and Heinz Doofenshmirtz

[c0nji]

[release-the-sheep]

just witnessed something devastating

guy on the subway with one ear pierced, little gold hoop. other guy on the subway very quickly and subtly googling "which one is the gay ear". it is not the gay ear. visible disappointment on his face as he puts his phone away.

[bigbigbigtruck]

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner

[funstyle]

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks

[skopostheorie]

Once I "made" a custom emoji for my mum by crudely drawing a hijab on it and now whenever she wants me to buy a coffee for her I get a text like this

[cnmcn]

absolutley enchanted by cobepee

[thelovingend-deactivated2025073]

No one tells you that one day you will get older and look around and notice that 95% of ppl who own a dog should not own a dog

[byjove]

I love asking people how their parents met. You always get an interesting reply. My best friend’s parents met on the relatively new internet in 1999. My other friend’s parents met at Burger King when one was the manager and the other was a regular customer. My parents met at the beach because they were neighbors in their rental houses, mom was on a church trip and dad was getting blackout drunk every night with his friends next door.

Tell me how your parents met in the tags.

[fivetrench]

Shit just happens to you when you're a tuna crab

[dykeza]

No red roan coat for the remade AQH on SSO inshallah SSE will not see the gates of heaven

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[terkaterr]

ah doing ma thing just like god int- (remembers im atheist) just like the universe intend- (remembers i don't believe in determinism) just like noone and nothing intended ever. doin ma thang fucking unpredictable style

[pangur-and-grim]

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

[pangur-and-grim]

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

[kholdseid]

[sighinastorm]

As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.

[the-haiku-bot]

As dandelions

to sidewalks, so onions to

refrigerators.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[homunculus-argument]

We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.